Post by Jesse Styles on Jul 1, 2013 0:19:13 GMT -6
From Phoenix with even more love
The screen starts black and then words begin to scroll onto it:
THE FOLLOWING IS A PAID ADVERTISEMENT FROM PHOENIX. PAID TO SHOWTIME WITH OUR NEW CONTRACT MONEY. FORMERLY YOUR MONEY, JESSE STYLES. SO THANKS. AND FUCK YOU.
xoxo, Phoenix
The segment opens up with Aurora Deadwood in a room wearing very very skimpy lingerie. She looks into the camera and begins to speak.
Aurora Deadwood: Hello New Edge Wrestling, Aurora Deadwood from Phoenix here. I'm here today because Phoenix paid Showtime so we can air a special "instructional video" for you, the fans of New Edge Wrestling. We at Phoenix are here today because we think it's important that the NEW fans learn how to properly perform oral sex.
Vince Walters mic is still turned on as this is airing, so the fans can hear his reactions.
Vince Walters (voice): Holy shit! This is awesome! Aurora...lingerie! Oral sex!
Aurora Deadwood: Now to demonstrate we're going to need something to demonstrate with. Here we have a realistic sex doll, the best that Jesse Styles' money could buy, and an assortment of garden vegetables and fruits, most notably a cucumber, a banana squash, and a banana. Oh, and here's a pineapple too.
Vince Walters (panting): Aurora Deadwood! Lingerie! Oral sex! Fruits and vegetables! Oh my God, I'm gonna have a heart attack!
As Aurora is laying out the sex doll and the fruits and vegetables, a knock is heard at the door. Aurora gets up and goes to answer the door, speaking as she walks.
Aurora Deadwood: Oh, that must be your teacher, class!
Vince Walters (voice): Teacher? Isn't she the teacher? Where is she going...?
Aurora answers the door. In walks Bobby Backdoor, shirtless, wearing nothing but the skimpiest neon orange man thong possible. Aurora leaves the room after looking into the camera and smiling.
Vince Walters (voice): What the hell is he doing here? Aurora, please don't go! Nooooooo!
Bobby walks over to the man sex doll and the fruits and vegetables. He pulls out a jar of vaseline and sets it on the ground next to the items.
Bobby Backdoor: I know Aurora said this is just an oral sex demonstration, but I decided I'd show you a couple more things as well. Are you ready?
Vince Walters (voice): NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
What followed is ten minutes of the grossest sex acts ever done between a man, some produce, and a male sex doll. Just heinous, hideous things, most of which probably shouldn't be shown on Showtime, but Phoenix does not give a fuck. During the sex acts, the only noises that can be heard are the horrific screams of Vince Walters, whose mic is still live. The sex acts come to a close and the camera pans to Vince and Jill. Jill's mouth is agape and Vince is sobbing openly.
Jill Matthews: Words can't express what I just saw...and I was in hardcore porn. Oh the horror... Fans, oh my God we're sorry! Again! So SO sorry!
Vince Walters (in full meltdown mode): Did you see where he stuck that pineapple?! DID YOU SEE WHERE HE STUCK THAT PINEAPPLE?!
Jill Matthews: ...I don't think anybody will ever be able to unsee where he stuck that pineapple.
Vince Walters (still crying): How did it fit?! How?!
Jill Matthews: Now pull yourself together, Vince...Somehow we have more action to call. Somehow...
Fade...
The screen starts black and then words begin to scroll onto it:
THE FOLLOWING IS A PAID ADVERTISEMENT FROM PHOENIX. PAID TO SHOWTIME WITH OUR NEW CONTRACT MONEY. FORMERLY YOUR MONEY, JESSE STYLES. SO THANKS. AND FUCK YOU.
xoxo, Phoenix
The segment opens up with Aurora Deadwood in a room wearing very very skimpy lingerie. She looks into the camera and begins to speak.
Aurora Deadwood: Hello New Edge Wrestling, Aurora Deadwood from Phoenix here. I'm here today because Phoenix paid Showtime so we can air a special "instructional video" for you, the fans of New Edge Wrestling. We at Phoenix are here today because we think it's important that the NEW fans learn how to properly perform oral sex.
Vince Walters mic is still turned on as this is airing, so the fans can hear his reactions.
Vince Walters (voice): Holy shit! This is awesome! Aurora...lingerie! Oral sex!
Aurora Deadwood: Now to demonstrate we're going to need something to demonstrate with. Here we have a realistic sex doll, the best that Jesse Styles' money could buy, and an assortment of garden vegetables and fruits, most notably a cucumber, a banana squash, and a banana. Oh, and here's a pineapple too.
Vince Walters (panting): Aurora Deadwood! Lingerie! Oral sex! Fruits and vegetables! Oh my God, I'm gonna have a heart attack!
As Aurora is laying out the sex doll and the fruits and vegetables, a knock is heard at the door. Aurora gets up and goes to answer the door, speaking as she walks.
Aurora Deadwood: Oh, that must be your teacher, class!
Vince Walters (voice): Teacher? Isn't she the teacher? Where is she going...?
Aurora answers the door. In walks Bobby Backdoor, shirtless, wearing nothing but the skimpiest neon orange man thong possible. Aurora leaves the room after looking into the camera and smiling.
Vince Walters (voice): What the hell is he doing here? Aurora, please don't go! Nooooooo!
Bobby walks over to the man sex doll and the fruits and vegetables. He pulls out a jar of vaseline and sets it on the ground next to the items.
Bobby Backdoor: I know Aurora said this is just an oral sex demonstration, but I decided I'd show you a couple more things as well. Are you ready?
Vince Walters (voice): NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
What followed is ten minutes of the grossest sex acts ever done between a man, some produce, and a male sex doll. Just heinous, hideous things, most of which probably shouldn't be shown on Showtime, but Phoenix does not give a fuck. During the sex acts, the only noises that can be heard are the horrific screams of Vince Walters, whose mic is still live. The sex acts come to a close and the camera pans to Vince and Jill. Jill's mouth is agape and Vince is sobbing openly.
Jill Matthews: Words can't express what I just saw...and I was in hardcore porn. Oh the horror... Fans, oh my God we're sorry! Again! So SO sorry!
Vince Walters (in full meltdown mode): Did you see where he stuck that pineapple?! DID YOU SEE WHERE HE STUCK THAT PINEAPPLE?!
Jill Matthews: ...I don't think anybody will ever be able to unsee where he stuck that pineapple.
Vince Walters (still crying): How did it fit?! How?!
Jill Matthews: Now pull yourself together, Vince...Somehow we have more action to call. Somehow...
Fade...