Post by Jesse Styles on Jul 21, 2013 19:23:58 GMT -6
From Phoenix with Love
The screen starts black and then words begin to scroll onto it:
THE FOLLOWING IS A PAID ADVERTISEMENT FROM PHOENIX. PAID TO SHOWTIME WITH OUR NEW CONTRACT MONEY. FORMERLY YOUR MONEY, JESSE STYLES. SO THANKS. AND FUCK YOU.
xoxo, Phoenix
The screen cuts away to a grassy countryside, with several carnival tents set up along the hillside. There are armor clad men riding horse and jousting in a ring at the center of it all. The camera pans into the ring, as three men exit the ring, and hop off their horses.
All three men bear the same colors. Their shields are all Red and Black, and bear a depiction of a phoenix on them being covered by a small insignificant picture of a pink turtle. The men lift their visors to reveal Bobby Backdoor in the center, ahead of everyone else, the other two flanking him just behind reveal to be Joka and Jarek. Joka has a battle axe strapped to his back, while Bobby and Jarek each have a broadsword at their sides. Suddenly a man in tights, and a brightly dyed blue and green puffy shirt, tights with one blue leg, and one green leg, and a large green spiked mohawk. The man began prancing and dancing around playing the lute very poorly. As he turned and came up closer and to the front it was revealed to be Dynamite Davey Dynamo. He bagan to sing.
Davey: Now here is the tale of the bravest knights,
Travling cross the land
happy merry and gay were they
skipping hand in hand.
Thy name of this crew was respected lo
Untied was their name
Groinin, emoga and Slaughtered yo
were really very plain
The Minstrel continued to prance and skip strumming his lute, while the men stopped. Two midgets walk up in torn plain dresses and aprons all dirty and dingy. One had dark hair, the other blonde hair. They stop in front of Joka and Jarek, facing them, right at their waistline, and pause there while Backdoor speaks.
Bobby Backdoor: Wenches, hold up.
The women continue what they are doing.
Bobby BackdoorSTARLET, DITZY, STOP NOW!
Backdoor pops the dark haired one on the head and they stop.
Both women just stand rocking back and forth on their heels standing in front of the two men. The look was ominous of a certain oral pleasure.
Bobby Backdoor: I, Machoo Slaughtered, am a chivalrous man. I do things in a fashion that would bring respect to my name and that is why I am no longer considered a champion of my craft. I do not perform against the rules, and I do not act irrationally. I do not do outlandish things, and I am better than everyone else because of it. It is well respected of me to look down on all you who do not play by the rules as I do because you are lesser beings.” Bobby, twirls his hand, and tucks it at his waist, and bows.
Jarek steps forward a step, pushes Wench Ditzy out of the way, and she stumbles over, and sneers.
Jarek: My name is Whinin Emoga. I pretend to care about respect and honor. I am a common man. That is to say I am the best of the lousiest and the lousiest of the best. Just know that I will gladly teach you a thing or two about manners, just don’t make me mad or I will whine and cry about how you’re not following the rules.”
Jarek steps back, and Joka picks up Starlet, and just hurls her about five feet. He looks long and hard at the camera.
Joka: grrrr...arrrrgggg...ooooogggggg....Groanin...uugghhh...blech....decht...hcht...German” Joka then raises his hand, and puts a waffle to his mouth and takes a big bite out of it and glares at the camera very intimidating and intensely.
Bobby Backdoor: Menstrual, return and show us out with a song please?
Davey: Minstrel?
Bobby Backdoor: That’s what I said, Menstrual.
Davey: It’s Minstrel.
Bobby Backdoor: THAT’S WHAT I SAID, MENSTRUAL!
Davey: Nevermind just call me Bard.
Bobby Backdoor: FINE...Tard, lead us out with a song.
Davey shakes his head, and then begins skipping and frollicing.
Davey: Here was our tale
Not very long
short and stale
like Groanin’s schlong
to the point,
we made it brief
bored as hell
we did our job.
Bobby Backdoor: That last line didn’t even rhyme.
Davey: FUCK YOU, YOU TRY WRITING A SONG ABOUT THE MOST BORING PEOPLE IN THE WORLD.
End Video Transmission
The screen starts black and then words begin to scroll onto it:
THE FOLLOWING IS A PAID ADVERTISEMENT FROM PHOENIX. PAID TO SHOWTIME WITH OUR NEW CONTRACT MONEY. FORMERLY YOUR MONEY, JESSE STYLES. SO THANKS. AND FUCK YOU.
xoxo, Phoenix
The screen cuts away to a grassy countryside, with several carnival tents set up along the hillside. There are armor clad men riding horse and jousting in a ring at the center of it all. The camera pans into the ring, as three men exit the ring, and hop off their horses.
All three men bear the same colors. Their shields are all Red and Black, and bear a depiction of a phoenix on them being covered by a small insignificant picture of a pink turtle. The men lift their visors to reveal Bobby Backdoor in the center, ahead of everyone else, the other two flanking him just behind reveal to be Joka and Jarek. Joka has a battle axe strapped to his back, while Bobby and Jarek each have a broadsword at their sides. Suddenly a man in tights, and a brightly dyed blue and green puffy shirt, tights with one blue leg, and one green leg, and a large green spiked mohawk. The man began prancing and dancing around playing the lute very poorly. As he turned and came up closer and to the front it was revealed to be Dynamite Davey Dynamo. He bagan to sing.
Davey: Now here is the tale of the bravest knights,
Travling cross the land
happy merry and gay were they
skipping hand in hand.
Thy name of this crew was respected lo
Untied was their name
Groinin, emoga and Slaughtered yo
were really very plain
The Minstrel continued to prance and skip strumming his lute, while the men stopped. Two midgets walk up in torn plain dresses and aprons all dirty and dingy. One had dark hair, the other blonde hair. They stop in front of Joka and Jarek, facing them, right at their waistline, and pause there while Backdoor speaks.
Bobby Backdoor: Wenches, hold up.
The women continue what they are doing.
Bobby BackdoorSTARLET, DITZY, STOP NOW!
Backdoor pops the dark haired one on the head and they stop.
Both women just stand rocking back and forth on their heels standing in front of the two men. The look was ominous of a certain oral pleasure.
Bobby Backdoor: I, Machoo Slaughtered, am a chivalrous man. I do things in a fashion that would bring respect to my name and that is why I am no longer considered a champion of my craft. I do not perform against the rules, and I do not act irrationally. I do not do outlandish things, and I am better than everyone else because of it. It is well respected of me to look down on all you who do not play by the rules as I do because you are lesser beings.” Bobby, twirls his hand, and tucks it at his waist, and bows.
Jarek steps forward a step, pushes Wench Ditzy out of the way, and she stumbles over, and sneers.
Jarek: My name is Whinin Emoga. I pretend to care about respect and honor. I am a common man. That is to say I am the best of the lousiest and the lousiest of the best. Just know that I will gladly teach you a thing or two about manners, just don’t make me mad or I will whine and cry about how you’re not following the rules.”
Jarek steps back, and Joka picks up Starlet, and just hurls her about five feet. He looks long and hard at the camera.
Joka: grrrr...arrrrgggg...ooooogggggg....Groanin...uugghhh...blech....decht...hcht...German” Joka then raises his hand, and puts a waffle to his mouth and takes a big bite out of it and glares at the camera very intimidating and intensely.
Bobby Backdoor: Menstrual, return and show us out with a song please?
Davey: Minstrel?
Bobby Backdoor: That’s what I said, Menstrual.
Davey: It’s Minstrel.
Bobby Backdoor: THAT’S WHAT I SAID, MENSTRUAL!
Davey: Nevermind just call me Bard.
Bobby Backdoor: FINE...Tard, lead us out with a song.
Davey shakes his head, and then begins skipping and frollicing.
Davey: Here was our tale
Not very long
short and stale
like Groanin’s schlong
to the point,
we made it brief
bored as hell
we did our job.
Bobby Backdoor: That last line didn’t even rhyme.
Davey: FUCK YOU, YOU TRY WRITING A SONG ABOUT THE MOST BORING PEOPLE IN THE WORLD.
End Video Transmission