Post by inkt on Apr 22, 2014 15:46:17 GMT -6
"are you fucking kidding me right now? You saved the fucking fanny packs?"
Inkt smiled at pugh and nodded as he pressed Pugh's pack against his chest with force.
"Tonight is going to be a night that neither of us are going to remember. Chances are for you, that's a good thing mine dude."
"Mine dude? The fuck does that even mean?"
"Does it fuckin matter? K-E Dollar Sign Huh! Get some! Seriously, we need to make it rain, sir!"
With that, inkt digs his hand into his now strapped on fanny pack and pulls out a small handful of the glitter. He begins to fist pump violently as the heart pounding bass echos through the room. Ke$ha is on a little make shift stage tearin it up as only shit can. We see Brian and Dougie in the corner looking from side to side. Dougie has somewhat of a disgruntled look on his face, and Brian is seen bobbing his head. He'd already forgotten that he'd been sent to his room, and was in trouble due to what he and Tony had done behind pugh's back to Roger. A smile curved the lips of the big man as he looked to Dougie for a minute.
"Dougie, what's the matter? #soserious"
"This is a gawdamn waste of my time brian. I should be out there, protecting mr. ryan, and getting my gaw damn security on. But no. He insisted on me taking the gaw damn night off, cause hims and shasta was gone work on papers and stuff all night. So, now here I am watching all these gaw damned hopped up retards listen to this gaw damned skank with no mr. gaw damn 305. He's the only damn reason I came to dis fucking party. It was supposed to be goin down. All yellin timber and what not, but I don't see no gaw damned mr. 305."
"#dahlin"
"Gaw damn right hashtag dahlin. Now, im gonna have to hear her play dat damned song- Duh fuck you want Janice? Don't you come any whur near me wit dat gaw damn sparkle powder. I ain't no gaw damn fag."
"Make it rain you fuckin surly bitch!"
With that, Inkt threw a handful of glitter at Dougie and brian, followed by a loud "Woo" in their faces. Pugh, oddly enough was quick to follow, however, before he threw his glitter at the two of them, he paused to take a deep look at brian.
"Aren't you supposed to be in your room?"
"yeah. But.. I need to tweet about this, yeah. Come one, ryan. You made me feel bad, yeah. I learned my lesson. #badmovebro."
Ryan's eyes lock on his for a moment, and then he shakes his head, still looking at Brian.
"It's a damned good thing that for once in his life, Inkt actually came through with something decent."
"Maybe it's his gaw damn way of saying thank you for giving him a gaw damned cupcake match this week. You got him goin against a gaw damned kid. You think he's happy now? You just wait till the two of them dance in dat damned ring. He's gonna go to jail, Mr. Ryan. You didn't do him no favors. Hell, if anything, you did just the opposite, sir. You're gonna lose him. You know dat Janice is on the list right?"
"What list?"
Just then, Inkt comes back, and grabs pugh by the hand and tries to pull him away. Looking down at his hand, and then back to inkt, pugh breaks the grip and continues to stare at him.
"Have you lost you're got damn mind, boy? What the fuck you tryin to do? Holdin my hand and shit? You'd better fuckin quit that faggot shit before I haul off and whoop that ass of yours."
"I was sayin' Mr. Ryan, dat he's on the list. You know.. 'THE LIST'"
"What the hell is your brother talking about?"
"Huh? Oh, nothing, don't worry about it. It's just a thing that happened a long time ago. Besides, we're in a different country. I don't think the list applies to anywhere outside the U.S."
"Dude, there's some shit that you're not telling me, isn't there?"
"Yeah, that's cause you don't wanna hear it. Look, Ke$ha wants to meet you. Hell... You know what I'm thinkin? You meet her, yeah? Then you lay on that silver tongue of yours, and BLAMMO! We're in a three way!"
"I'm so not doing a three way with you and her."
"Well why the fuck not? What if she's down to fuck, but she won't unless there's three of us? I mean, I can over look the fact that I like pole, knowing that I dipped my wick in some celebrity snatch."
Pugh takes a long drawn out sigh and shakes his head.
"You and me? This ain't done. We're talkin about whatever this list thing is, you got it? Cause if it's something that's gonna end up getting me and this company in some shit due to some stupid shit that you did? Then this match between you and Connor ain't happening."
"Oh, the match is happening, Pugh. It's so happening. Oh my fucking god, to be honest, i've been waiting to face him for a long ass time."
"Long ass time nothing, the kid's only been with the company for like... I don't know, maybe a month?"
"Yeah, that may be, but i'm thinkin you inadvertently hired him just for me."
"No. That's not it at all. The kid's got some sort of talent, and his parents signed a waiver. He's an attraction. Someone under 18 that's going rounds with some of the biggest names in the business? How is that not a good move on my part?"
"Then it's just an added bonus for me. I've got a sneaking suspicion though, he's not gonna want to share a locker room with anyone once I get my hands on his ass."
"Seriously? Fucking Phrasing, bro!"
"Nope. Totally said what I meant. So tight, and young. I mean, honestly, the form on him... He's fuckin adonis man. Straight up adonis."
"You don't even know what that means."
"He's the god of Beauty and Desire. Fuck man, read a book."
"HEY JANICE! THAT'S MY GAW DAMN LINE!"
Inkt looks at Dougie and shakes his head.
"You don't get to speak any more, OK? You and me? We're gonna have words about who you tell about what 'lists' im on, and what they are. Big mouthed, helmet wearing, ginger tard. C'mon pugh, let's go get this shit poppin, sir. I'm sure that you can seal the deal. I bet she likes big sweaty man bears just as much as I do."
"What?"
"What?"
"Man bear?"
"Who said man bear? Was that one of her lyrics or something? Dude, are you fuckin high right now? Where's chris? CHRIS!"
Inkt quickly back paddles as Pugh makes his way to the make shift stage. Smiling up at the pop icon, she winks, and tosses some glitter in the air. The multi colored magic slowly twinkles down on him, causing him to generate the biggest smile he'd had in ages.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, i present to you, our guest of honor. You're Current New Edge World Champion, Ryan PUGH!! Come on up here, big guy! Let's get a look at you! I wanna take you in."
"...I wanna be in you!"
Inkt's voice rang out from the crowd. Pugh shoots a look at inkt causing him to shut up instantly.
"I just need my chap-"
Inkt turns to look for tony. Licking his lips, he sees the fat fuck try to sneak out of the room.
"TONY! THERE YOU ARE! AY! BRING ME MY FUCKIN CHAPSTICK YOU TURNCOAT MOTHER FUCKER!"
Tony tries to run, but somehow trips over his own two feet, causing him to fall to the floor. Inkt is quick to react as he lunges into the air, and lands on the back of tony, forcing his fore arm into the neck folds of the flailing fat man.
"Where you goin, big boy? You're my bitch now, remember?"
Tony quickly lunges his hand into his pocket and presents inkt with the chapstick.
"I didn't ask you to hand it to me. I want you to put it on for me. You'd better put it on thick too. My lips are real dry. You know what im sayin?"
"That you need to hydrate?"
"Mmmmhmmm, now you're speaking my language. You know what I like to hydrate with?"
Tony struggles for an answer.
"Water?"
"Water? WATER?! Bitch, please. If i wanted to hydrate with water, then what's the point of asking for my chapstick. No. Try again, I THINK you KNOW what i HYDRATE with."
"I think I do too, don't make me say it, Inkt."
"That's Dominus Inkt to you."
"You.. You don't even know what that word means!"
"Seriously? You're gonna challenge me? When im mounted on top of you? You've got no move right now, and I bet you can feel me getting harder on your ass area... and you're gonna challenge me? Bitch please. But, just to show you that I'm a caring master... There's your first fucking clue... Dominus is latin for the word Master, or Owner... and right now? I WILL Dominus dat ass, sir. Don't you fuckin step out of line again you rotund bitch. Now, Im gonna give you one more chance to hydrate my fucking lips with my chapstick, understood?"
"Yeah. Sorry."
"Sorry what, Bitch?"
"Sorry... Inkt?"
"WHAT THE FUCK?! IS IT THAT FUCKING HARD? HUH? ARE YOU AS THICK AS THOSE TWO OVER THERE? SORRY, WHAT?!"
"Sorry, uh, Dominus?"
"Damn right, sorry dominus. That's what you're gonna call me until Pugh doesn't let me play with you any more. I've had feelings for you, Tony. A deep burn in my loins and shit. You see Pugh up there? You see him tryin to get over with K-E Dolla Sing HUH? Do ya? Yeah, he's off my gaydar for the time being. Reaper? He's off of it as well. Why? Cause I gots me a gimp. Plain and simple. A big ol tubby bitch to do my fuckin sexual bidding."
"There's only one thing, and only one thing that I want more than you. It's a nice little canadian cabanna boy, and I think this week, i might just get one, you know what im sayin?"
"Oh. My. Fucking. God."
Pugh stands over the two of them as he listens.
"Dude, don't tell me you're on THAT list."
Inkt looks over his shoulder and pugh, and slowly gets off of tony. His eyes dart from side to side. Tony continues to lie on the ground, due to the fact that he's pretty much just made a puddle of piss below him and doesn't want anyone to see.
"Huh? What list?"
"Don't tell me you're a fuckin pedo too, Inkt."
"Dude, he said he was 18, okay? You know how i've got a thing for male cheerleaders!"
"Male cheerleader? Really? So, the fact that he was a cheerleader didn't tip you off that he was still in some sort of school? Where'd you meet him, Inkt? WHERE?!"
"Well... You remember a few years back at world war x? When we were doin that public service to the high school?"
"High school? Really? THAT didn't tip you off?"
"Look, he said he was a senior. Everything probably would have been okay too, had I not broken him."
"What do you mean, had you not broken him, Inkt?"
"Janice made the kid's gaw damned asshole bleed. You wonder why he's never got no money, Mr. Ryan? It's cause he has to keep payin dat gaw damn kid to not go public to the press. Google his gaw damned name though, and he'll come up as a gaw damned red dot on the screen. He's a fuckin gay pedo, just like that gaw damn coach at Penn State."
"Dougie, I swear to fucking god!"
"You're gonna do what, Janice? Huh? You can't do nuffin to me."
"No, that's it, im callin off the match. Seriously? Dude, I don't need that kind of heat on the company right now, Inkt. If something were to come out about this match, and who's involved, i'd never hear the end of it. Never. There'd be legal ramifications and every thing. I... I can't do it. It's not a good business move."
"Hell, it's not a good move for Myles, either, Ryan."
"TONY! DID I TELL YOU TO SPEAK? HUH?! CHAPSTICK! NOW"
Inkt leans down and puckers his lips. Tony, manages to reach up, and apply a generous amount of the nectar to inkt's lips. Inkt then leaps down and slaps him playfully in the face.
"Get out of here and clean yourself up. Go get fucking presentable and come back. I'm far from being done with you."
"...And im far from being done with you, Inkt. Don't you think you should have told me about this before?"
"I thought i'd mentioned it to you? No? I mean, i'm sure i would have if you know we were still in the states and you'd made this match, but since we're here in Japan 2, the alabama of the orient, it wasn't going to be a problem. Look, it's not like i went to his room or whatever, and gave him flowers and a rim job. Come on. I'm better than that."
"No you're not, and did you? You'd better not have. Dude, you're... Oh my fucking christ. Okay, look, we can figure this out."
"There's nothing to figure out, bro. I've got it covered. I'm gonna meet him in the ring and show him the time of his life out there. Gonna break him in proper, you know? Hell, when all's said and done, I might have him under me like I do Tony. Soon, I'll have my own little ludus."
"Stop using latin words!"
"I can't help it, I went on a fucking spartacus marathon after we left rome! Once I laid cock to ass on hazard, i felt like i needed to watch the gladiators glisten in the sun. You know that lucy lawless dykes out like a bunch of times in that show? She shows her tits and everything. It's amazing."
"W...What the hell? That shit turns you on?"
"Dude, im equal opportunity. I love the cock just as much as i love the snatch. It's just getting the cock presents more of a challenge, and you knows how i loves me a challenge."
"No you don't you hate challenges. Hell, you're about as fuckin lazy as they get. Loves you a challenge, get the fuck outta here with that bull shit."
"Say what you will, but I betcha i can score us a 3 way with ke$ha."
"Dude, dougie and brian could score a 3 way with her. Hell, half this party could probably go balls deep in her and she'd take it like a champ."
"Damn right she would. That shit's hot right there. I think she loves the D as much as I do."
"What?"
"what are you getting deaf in your old age? I said-"
"No i fuckin heard what you said. Look man, I'm gonna over look the fact that I made this mistake this week, booking you against connor myles. I'm assuming that you're correct that due to the fact that we're in a totally different country, that our laws don't apply here. However, you WILL be on your best behavior in that ring. If I see anything, ANYTHING at all that borders some sort of homo erotic rape? I'm pullin the plug and disqualifying you."
"Aww come on, that's not fair at all. This is wrestling, like almost everything that's done in the ring looks like some form of homo erotic rape."
"Don't push it, Inkt. Don't you fucking push it. You're my boy and all, and I know family comes first, but this is a situation that can't be over looked. You've got a hell of a problem on your hands."
"I love bad bitches, that's my fuckin-"
"Oh, shut the fuck up."
"Plus? Here's a fun fact."
"#stolemyshit"
"Shut up brian... Anyways, here's a fun fact. Did you know that, in the people's republic of Japan 2, the age of consent is 14? So, if anything, I'm late to the fuckin party... That's the way i see it."
"Jesus christ... 14? Dude, china really is the damned alabama of the orient. Alright, well, I guess i don't really have much to worry about then, do i. Go do what it is you do."
"Well, i mean, rape is still rape, but... At least, it won't be statutory, right?"
"You're a sick fucker you know that?"
"Yes i do."
Inkt then smiles, digs into his fanny pack once more, and throws a massive handful of glitter into the air.
"Let's crank this bitch up, tubby. Like i said, we'd better not remember what happens tonight."
"Dude, for your sake, I hope you're right."
"Bah, shut up, and go bang some hawt snatch."
"Gaw damn it Janice, that's my gaw damn line."
"Dougie, if i've told you once, i've told you a thousand times. Shut the fuck up, and stop calling me Janice!"
"Fuck you Janice. You don't own me. You're not my gaw damn latin D word that you used."
(fade)
Inkt smiled at pugh and nodded as he pressed Pugh's pack against his chest with force.
"Tonight is going to be a night that neither of us are going to remember. Chances are for you, that's a good thing mine dude."
"Mine dude? The fuck does that even mean?"
"Does it fuckin matter? K-E Dollar Sign Huh! Get some! Seriously, we need to make it rain, sir!"
With that, inkt digs his hand into his now strapped on fanny pack and pulls out a small handful of the glitter. He begins to fist pump violently as the heart pounding bass echos through the room. Ke$ha is on a little make shift stage tearin it up as only shit can. We see Brian and Dougie in the corner looking from side to side. Dougie has somewhat of a disgruntled look on his face, and Brian is seen bobbing his head. He'd already forgotten that he'd been sent to his room, and was in trouble due to what he and Tony had done behind pugh's back to Roger. A smile curved the lips of the big man as he looked to Dougie for a minute.
"Dougie, what's the matter? #soserious"
"This is a gawdamn waste of my time brian. I should be out there, protecting mr. ryan, and getting my gaw damn security on. But no. He insisted on me taking the gaw damn night off, cause hims and shasta was gone work on papers and stuff all night. So, now here I am watching all these gaw damned hopped up retards listen to this gaw damned skank with no mr. gaw damn 305. He's the only damn reason I came to dis fucking party. It was supposed to be goin down. All yellin timber and what not, but I don't see no gaw damned mr. 305."
"#dahlin"
"Gaw damn right hashtag dahlin. Now, im gonna have to hear her play dat damned song- Duh fuck you want Janice? Don't you come any whur near me wit dat gaw damn sparkle powder. I ain't no gaw damn fag."
"Make it rain you fuckin surly bitch!"
With that, Inkt threw a handful of glitter at Dougie and brian, followed by a loud "Woo" in their faces. Pugh, oddly enough was quick to follow, however, before he threw his glitter at the two of them, he paused to take a deep look at brian.
"Aren't you supposed to be in your room?"
"yeah. But.. I need to tweet about this, yeah. Come one, ryan. You made me feel bad, yeah. I learned my lesson. #badmovebro."
Ryan's eyes lock on his for a moment, and then he shakes his head, still looking at Brian.
"It's a damned good thing that for once in his life, Inkt actually came through with something decent."
"Maybe it's his gaw damn way of saying thank you for giving him a gaw damned cupcake match this week. You got him goin against a gaw damned kid. You think he's happy now? You just wait till the two of them dance in dat damned ring. He's gonna go to jail, Mr. Ryan. You didn't do him no favors. Hell, if anything, you did just the opposite, sir. You're gonna lose him. You know dat Janice is on the list right?"
"What list?"
Just then, Inkt comes back, and grabs pugh by the hand and tries to pull him away. Looking down at his hand, and then back to inkt, pugh breaks the grip and continues to stare at him.
"Have you lost you're got damn mind, boy? What the fuck you tryin to do? Holdin my hand and shit? You'd better fuckin quit that faggot shit before I haul off and whoop that ass of yours."
"I was sayin' Mr. Ryan, dat he's on the list. You know.. 'THE LIST'"
"What the hell is your brother talking about?"
"Huh? Oh, nothing, don't worry about it. It's just a thing that happened a long time ago. Besides, we're in a different country. I don't think the list applies to anywhere outside the U.S."
"Dude, there's some shit that you're not telling me, isn't there?"
"Yeah, that's cause you don't wanna hear it. Look, Ke$ha wants to meet you. Hell... You know what I'm thinkin? You meet her, yeah? Then you lay on that silver tongue of yours, and BLAMMO! We're in a three way!"
"I'm so not doing a three way with you and her."
"Well why the fuck not? What if she's down to fuck, but she won't unless there's three of us? I mean, I can over look the fact that I like pole, knowing that I dipped my wick in some celebrity snatch."
Pugh takes a long drawn out sigh and shakes his head.
"You and me? This ain't done. We're talkin about whatever this list thing is, you got it? Cause if it's something that's gonna end up getting me and this company in some shit due to some stupid shit that you did? Then this match between you and Connor ain't happening."
"Oh, the match is happening, Pugh. It's so happening. Oh my fucking god, to be honest, i've been waiting to face him for a long ass time."
"Long ass time nothing, the kid's only been with the company for like... I don't know, maybe a month?"
"Yeah, that may be, but i'm thinkin you inadvertently hired him just for me."
"No. That's not it at all. The kid's got some sort of talent, and his parents signed a waiver. He's an attraction. Someone under 18 that's going rounds with some of the biggest names in the business? How is that not a good move on my part?"
"Then it's just an added bonus for me. I've got a sneaking suspicion though, he's not gonna want to share a locker room with anyone once I get my hands on his ass."
"Seriously? Fucking Phrasing, bro!"
"Nope. Totally said what I meant. So tight, and young. I mean, honestly, the form on him... He's fuckin adonis man. Straight up adonis."
"You don't even know what that means."
"He's the god of Beauty and Desire. Fuck man, read a book."
"HEY JANICE! THAT'S MY GAW DAMN LINE!"
Inkt looks at Dougie and shakes his head.
"You don't get to speak any more, OK? You and me? We're gonna have words about who you tell about what 'lists' im on, and what they are. Big mouthed, helmet wearing, ginger tard. C'mon pugh, let's go get this shit poppin, sir. I'm sure that you can seal the deal. I bet she likes big sweaty man bears just as much as I do."
"What?"
"What?"
"Man bear?"
"Who said man bear? Was that one of her lyrics or something? Dude, are you fuckin high right now? Where's chris? CHRIS!"
Inkt quickly back paddles as Pugh makes his way to the make shift stage. Smiling up at the pop icon, she winks, and tosses some glitter in the air. The multi colored magic slowly twinkles down on him, causing him to generate the biggest smile he'd had in ages.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, i present to you, our guest of honor. You're Current New Edge World Champion, Ryan PUGH!! Come on up here, big guy! Let's get a look at you! I wanna take you in."
"...I wanna be in you!"
Inkt's voice rang out from the crowd. Pugh shoots a look at inkt causing him to shut up instantly.
"I just need my chap-"
Inkt turns to look for tony. Licking his lips, he sees the fat fuck try to sneak out of the room.
"TONY! THERE YOU ARE! AY! BRING ME MY FUCKIN CHAPSTICK YOU TURNCOAT MOTHER FUCKER!"
Tony tries to run, but somehow trips over his own two feet, causing him to fall to the floor. Inkt is quick to react as he lunges into the air, and lands on the back of tony, forcing his fore arm into the neck folds of the flailing fat man.
"Where you goin, big boy? You're my bitch now, remember?"
Tony quickly lunges his hand into his pocket and presents inkt with the chapstick.
"I didn't ask you to hand it to me. I want you to put it on for me. You'd better put it on thick too. My lips are real dry. You know what im sayin?"
"That you need to hydrate?"
"Mmmmhmmm, now you're speaking my language. You know what I like to hydrate with?"
Tony struggles for an answer.
"Water?"
"Water? WATER?! Bitch, please. If i wanted to hydrate with water, then what's the point of asking for my chapstick. No. Try again, I THINK you KNOW what i HYDRATE with."
"I think I do too, don't make me say it, Inkt."
"That's Dominus Inkt to you."
"You.. You don't even know what that word means!"
"Seriously? You're gonna challenge me? When im mounted on top of you? You've got no move right now, and I bet you can feel me getting harder on your ass area... and you're gonna challenge me? Bitch please. But, just to show you that I'm a caring master... There's your first fucking clue... Dominus is latin for the word Master, or Owner... and right now? I WILL Dominus dat ass, sir. Don't you fuckin step out of line again you rotund bitch. Now, Im gonna give you one more chance to hydrate my fucking lips with my chapstick, understood?"
"Yeah. Sorry."
"Sorry what, Bitch?"
"Sorry... Inkt?"
"WHAT THE FUCK?! IS IT THAT FUCKING HARD? HUH? ARE YOU AS THICK AS THOSE TWO OVER THERE? SORRY, WHAT?!"
"Sorry, uh, Dominus?"
"Damn right, sorry dominus. That's what you're gonna call me until Pugh doesn't let me play with you any more. I've had feelings for you, Tony. A deep burn in my loins and shit. You see Pugh up there? You see him tryin to get over with K-E Dolla Sing HUH? Do ya? Yeah, he's off my gaydar for the time being. Reaper? He's off of it as well. Why? Cause I gots me a gimp. Plain and simple. A big ol tubby bitch to do my fuckin sexual bidding."
"There's only one thing, and only one thing that I want more than you. It's a nice little canadian cabanna boy, and I think this week, i might just get one, you know what im sayin?"
"Oh. My. Fucking. God."
Pugh stands over the two of them as he listens.
"Dude, don't tell me you're on THAT list."
Inkt looks over his shoulder and pugh, and slowly gets off of tony. His eyes dart from side to side. Tony continues to lie on the ground, due to the fact that he's pretty much just made a puddle of piss below him and doesn't want anyone to see.
"Huh? What list?"
"Don't tell me you're a fuckin pedo too, Inkt."
"Dude, he said he was 18, okay? You know how i've got a thing for male cheerleaders!"
"Male cheerleader? Really? So, the fact that he was a cheerleader didn't tip you off that he was still in some sort of school? Where'd you meet him, Inkt? WHERE?!"
"Well... You remember a few years back at world war x? When we were doin that public service to the high school?"
"High school? Really? THAT didn't tip you off?"
"Look, he said he was a senior. Everything probably would have been okay too, had I not broken him."
"What do you mean, had you not broken him, Inkt?"
"Janice made the kid's gaw damned asshole bleed. You wonder why he's never got no money, Mr. Ryan? It's cause he has to keep payin dat gaw damn kid to not go public to the press. Google his gaw damned name though, and he'll come up as a gaw damned red dot on the screen. He's a fuckin gay pedo, just like that gaw damn coach at Penn State."
"Dougie, I swear to fucking god!"
"You're gonna do what, Janice? Huh? You can't do nuffin to me."
"No, that's it, im callin off the match. Seriously? Dude, I don't need that kind of heat on the company right now, Inkt. If something were to come out about this match, and who's involved, i'd never hear the end of it. Never. There'd be legal ramifications and every thing. I... I can't do it. It's not a good business move."
"Hell, it's not a good move for Myles, either, Ryan."
"TONY! DID I TELL YOU TO SPEAK? HUH?! CHAPSTICK! NOW"
Inkt leans down and puckers his lips. Tony, manages to reach up, and apply a generous amount of the nectar to inkt's lips. Inkt then leaps down and slaps him playfully in the face.
"Get out of here and clean yourself up. Go get fucking presentable and come back. I'm far from being done with you."
"...And im far from being done with you, Inkt. Don't you think you should have told me about this before?"
"I thought i'd mentioned it to you? No? I mean, i'm sure i would have if you know we were still in the states and you'd made this match, but since we're here in Japan 2, the alabama of the orient, it wasn't going to be a problem. Look, it's not like i went to his room or whatever, and gave him flowers and a rim job. Come on. I'm better than that."
"No you're not, and did you? You'd better not have. Dude, you're... Oh my fucking christ. Okay, look, we can figure this out."
"There's nothing to figure out, bro. I've got it covered. I'm gonna meet him in the ring and show him the time of his life out there. Gonna break him in proper, you know? Hell, when all's said and done, I might have him under me like I do Tony. Soon, I'll have my own little ludus."
"Stop using latin words!"
"I can't help it, I went on a fucking spartacus marathon after we left rome! Once I laid cock to ass on hazard, i felt like i needed to watch the gladiators glisten in the sun. You know that lucy lawless dykes out like a bunch of times in that show? She shows her tits and everything. It's amazing."
"W...What the hell? That shit turns you on?"
"Dude, im equal opportunity. I love the cock just as much as i love the snatch. It's just getting the cock presents more of a challenge, and you knows how i loves me a challenge."
"No you don't you hate challenges. Hell, you're about as fuckin lazy as they get. Loves you a challenge, get the fuck outta here with that bull shit."
"Say what you will, but I betcha i can score us a 3 way with ke$ha."
"Dude, dougie and brian could score a 3 way with her. Hell, half this party could probably go balls deep in her and she'd take it like a champ."
"Damn right she would. That shit's hot right there. I think she loves the D as much as I do."
"What?"
"what are you getting deaf in your old age? I said-"
"No i fuckin heard what you said. Look man, I'm gonna over look the fact that I made this mistake this week, booking you against connor myles. I'm assuming that you're correct that due to the fact that we're in a totally different country, that our laws don't apply here. However, you WILL be on your best behavior in that ring. If I see anything, ANYTHING at all that borders some sort of homo erotic rape? I'm pullin the plug and disqualifying you."
"Aww come on, that's not fair at all. This is wrestling, like almost everything that's done in the ring looks like some form of homo erotic rape."
"Don't push it, Inkt. Don't you fucking push it. You're my boy and all, and I know family comes first, but this is a situation that can't be over looked. You've got a hell of a problem on your hands."
"I love bad bitches, that's my fuckin-"
"Oh, shut the fuck up."
"Plus? Here's a fun fact."
"#stolemyshit"
"Shut up brian... Anyways, here's a fun fact. Did you know that, in the people's republic of Japan 2, the age of consent is 14? So, if anything, I'm late to the fuckin party... That's the way i see it."
"Jesus christ... 14? Dude, china really is the damned alabama of the orient. Alright, well, I guess i don't really have much to worry about then, do i. Go do what it is you do."
"Well, i mean, rape is still rape, but... At least, it won't be statutory, right?"
"You're a sick fucker you know that?"
"Yes i do."
Inkt then smiles, digs into his fanny pack once more, and throws a massive handful of glitter into the air.
"Let's crank this bitch up, tubby. Like i said, we'd better not remember what happens tonight."
"Dude, for your sake, I hope you're right."
"Bah, shut up, and go bang some hawt snatch."
"Gaw damn it Janice, that's my gaw damn line."
"Dougie, if i've told you once, i've told you a thousand times. Shut the fuck up, and stop calling me Janice!"
"Fuck you Janice. You don't own me. You're not my gaw damn latin D word that you used."
(fade)
