Post by Ricky Cassels on Mar 16, 2015 21:59:17 GMT -6
Another Ignite is in the books and so is another defeat for the Trailer Park Wonder. This time at the hands of a green horn rookie named Austen Impact. For the second consecutive week, Ricky Bobby felt the wrath of the Hype Kick! As the old saying goes, same shit different day.
But it does not end with the Hype Kick... Oh no, it gets even worse. After Jesse Styles Hype Kick his former friend Ricky Bobby, he then re-possessed the 18 wheeler he gave Ricky years ago. In other words, he done took Ricky Bobby's got damn ride! How will The Mullet manage to survive without his prized semi named Angel? How will he and his very large girlfriend Nikki Juggs get back to the Nevaeh Trailer Park in Alabama without a ride?
Darkness has fallen and thus we find Ricky Bobby and Nikki Juggs stranded on the side of the road outside of the NEW Arena. They had planned on sleeping in the dressing room, but Jesse Styles had security throw the tandem out on the streets. Nikki is still in her wheel chair and all the couples is sitting beside the road. Cars zoom by the couple as they decide what to do.
Ricky Bobby: Nikk-eh baby, what we's gone do? We ain't got no ride and nowhere to stay neither?
Nikki Juggs: *smoking a cigarette* How tha hell am I spose to know, Ricky Bobby? *puff puff*
Ricky Bobby: Cause ya all smart and every thang that's how...
Ricky looked over at his not so gorgeous girlfriend Nikki. The more hell Al Envy and Jesse put the pair through, the more he admired Nikki. Even after having her facial reconstructive surgery, Nikki was the most beautiful woman in the world..... in Ricky Bobby's eyes. Nikki continued to chain smoke cigarettes.
Nikki Juggs: How bout we flag down one of them yeller cars?
Ricky Bobby: Baby we both a little bit too old to be riding on tha school bus....
Nikki Juggs: Not tha school bus ya dumbass.... I'm talking bout one of dem thangs that those foreigners usually drive....
Ricky Bobby: Ya mean a Camel?
Nikki Juggs: No gaw dammit.... a taxi! Lets call a taxi!
Ricky Bobby: But baby I ain't got no telephone number to no taxi....
Nikki Juggs: That's why ya gotta flag em down dumbass!
Ricky Bobby loved it whenever Nikki ordered him around like that. He admired his woman for a moment before she cussed at him once more and ordered him to stop one of the many taxi's driving by. Ricky wasn't familiar with how to flag down a taxi as they are few and far in between in his home state of Alabama.
Ricky Bobby: Ok baby lemme know next time ya see one of them fancy taxi cabs...
Nikki Juggs: *points with no cigarette hand* Here comes one now!!
Ricky not being familiar with the situation, proceeds to jump out into the street in order to stop the taxi. The cab slams on the horn and slams on the brakes in an attempt to avoid running over the Trailer Park Wonder. The taxi slides within two inches of Ricky Bobby, who turns his attention to Nikki.
Ricky Bobby: Baby! It worked!
Nikki Juggs: Get yer arse over here and help me gaw dammit!!
Ricky Bobby approached Nikki's wheel chair and wheeled her toward the cab. He opened the backdoor and slide her from the wheel chair into the cab. He then folded the large wheel chair up. The cab driver popped the cab trunk as Ricky Bobby placed Nikki's wheel chair and their luggage into the trunk. Ricky Bobby then slammed the trunk door closed before climbing into the backseat of the cab. He closed his door shut. Driving the cab was a guy from Sudan who is wearing a turban.
Sudan Cab Driver: Welcome to cab. Where I take you?
Ricky Bobby: Baby I didn't understand a word he just said....
Nikki Juggs: He wants to know where to take us...
Ricky Bobby: Take us to gaw damn Alabama!!!
Sudan Cab Driver: Alabama very long way. I no can do.
Nikki Juggs: It's midnight Ricky Bobby we ain't goin to no gaw damn Alabama tonight...
Ricky Bobby: Sorry baby I'm just ready to leave this gaw damn town.... It reminds me of that gaw damn sum-bitch Jesse Styles.
Nikki Juggs: We may as well stay here Ricky Bobby.... we aint got no car and ya got another match....
The Sudan Cab Driver looks into the back seat at the odd couple with a smile on his face as he awaits their final decision on where to take them to.
Nikki Juggs: Take us to the gaw damn Motel Room, Osama...
Sudan Cab Driver: I not Osama Laden he dead. I Samir from Sudan!
Nikki Juggs: *puffs on Cigarette* Frankly I don't give a gaw damn now hit tha gas!
The Sudan Cab Driver obliges and begins driving the first couple of white trash toward the nearest motel room as Nikki Juggs hot boxes the entire taxi cab. The Sudan Cab Driver coughs several times trying to hint for Nikki to put out her cigarette. Nikki does not catch on to the hint and Ricky Bobby is beginning to get thirsty.
Ricky Bobby: *to Sudan Cab Driver* Bossman, do ya got any beer?
Sudan Cab Drive: We no drink alcohol in Sudan.
Ricky Bobby: Gaw dammit! Tha Ricky sho is thursty!
Nikki Juggs: We will be at tha motel in a gaw damn minute then ya can drank all tha mutha fuckin beer ya want, Ricky Bobby!
Ricky Bobby: I heard dat!
Nikki Juggs: Who is this feller ya gone be wrasslin next week on tee-vee?
Ricky Bobby: Hell if tha Ricky knows, baby. He is some new boy. I usually would call tha Jesse up in these here types of situations where I'm gonna wrassle somebody new. But I don't reckon I can do that no more.
Nikki Juggs: If we call dat bald headed mutha fuckin cock suckin sum bitch up we ain't gonna be talkin bout no gaw damn match.... we gonna tell him how big of a giant pussy he is!
Ricky Bobby: I can't believe tha Ricky let him kick meh in muh face against for the second week... Looks like I'd seen that shit comin this time!
Nikki Juggs: But that chump Owl Anvy held ya and ya didn't have no where to go... Ya couldn't have avoided it, Ricky Bobby.
Ricky Bobby: I shouda drove Angel threw the ring and ran both them sum bitches over killing em dead! I'm just glad they didn't lay their greedy hands on muh baby, Nikk-eh!
Nikki Juggs: That Powder lookin mutha fucka better hope tha Nikk-eh don't get outta this here wheel chair soon cause when I do I'ma gonna know Jesse's arse out with these here big ass titties! *jiggles her gigantic boobs with a quick slap with her hand*
Ricky Bobby: You tell em, baby!
Nikki Juggs: To hell with Jesse and Owl! Ya need to focus on this week, baby. Whats the name of that there new wrassler ya gonna be fightin?
Ricky Bobby: They tell me his names Buck Florida. Never heard of em.
The Sudan Cab Driver abruptly slams on the breaks nearly slinging Ricky and Nikki through the wind shield. He then turns his attention toward the back seat where Nikki and Ricky are sitting.
Sudan Cab Driver: Did you say.... Buck.... Florida?
Nikki Juggs: That's exactly what he said. I reckon ya ain't hard of hearing after gaw damn all!
Ricky Bobby: Ya know Buck Florida?
Sudan Cab Driver: That asshole owe me one thousand dollar in unpaid cab fee!
Ricky Bobby: Gaw damn! How many times did ya drive him around?
Sudan Cab Driver: Only one time. But he do thousand dollar worth of damage to car.
Ricky Bobby: How tha hell did he do that much damage in one car ride?
Sudan Cab Driver: He have party in backseat with several hooker.
Nikki Juggs: Well ain't that just gaw damn great! I'm sitting where Buck Florida busted his nut with some skank arse biyatch!
Sudan Cab Driver: It no stop there. One of the lady defecated in back seat. Buck Florida drank so much alcohol he puke in back seat.
Ricky Bobby: Hell yeah!
Sudan Cab Driver: Then he no pay for cab ride. He jump out of car and run away. He no pay hooker either and she no pay me either.
Nikki Juggs: Sounds like he stiffed yer gaw damn arse to meh!
Ricky Bobby: Don't ya worry buddy, tha Ricky will get revenge on Buck Florida fer ya. I beat that thousand bucks outta him fer ya!
Sudan Cab Driver: Maybe I help you confront Buck Florida...
Ricky Bobby: Well that's a good gaw damn idea. Pull into this here motel and ya can stay with us. We will wait for daylight to approach then we can go after Buck Florida. We don't have to wait until Ignite!
The Sudan Cab Driver pulls into the motel as instructed which just so happens to be a Super Motel 8. Ricky, Nikki, and the Sudan Cab Driver enter the motel and proceed to check in. Nikki pull a wad of cash out of her tank top and pays the receptionist for the room. The three of them will proceed to imply the lie and wait tactic as they attempt get the cab driver his money back out of Buck Florida.
TO BE CONTINUED...
But it does not end with the Hype Kick... Oh no, it gets even worse. After Jesse Styles Hype Kick his former friend Ricky Bobby, he then re-possessed the 18 wheeler he gave Ricky years ago. In other words, he done took Ricky Bobby's got damn ride! How will The Mullet manage to survive without his prized semi named Angel? How will he and his very large girlfriend Nikki Juggs get back to the Nevaeh Trailer Park in Alabama without a ride?
Darkness has fallen and thus we find Ricky Bobby and Nikki Juggs stranded on the side of the road outside of the NEW Arena. They had planned on sleeping in the dressing room, but Jesse Styles had security throw the tandem out on the streets. Nikki is still in her wheel chair and all the couples is sitting beside the road. Cars zoom by the couple as they decide what to do.
Ricky Bobby: Nikk-eh baby, what we's gone do? We ain't got no ride and nowhere to stay neither?
Nikki Juggs: *smoking a cigarette* How tha hell am I spose to know, Ricky Bobby? *puff puff*
Ricky Bobby: Cause ya all smart and every thang that's how...
Ricky looked over at his not so gorgeous girlfriend Nikki. The more hell Al Envy and Jesse put the pair through, the more he admired Nikki. Even after having her facial reconstructive surgery, Nikki was the most beautiful woman in the world..... in Ricky Bobby's eyes. Nikki continued to chain smoke cigarettes.
Nikki Juggs: How bout we flag down one of them yeller cars?
Ricky Bobby: Baby we both a little bit too old to be riding on tha school bus....
Nikki Juggs: Not tha school bus ya dumbass.... I'm talking bout one of dem thangs that those foreigners usually drive....
Ricky Bobby: Ya mean a Camel?
Nikki Juggs: No gaw dammit.... a taxi! Lets call a taxi!
Ricky Bobby: But baby I ain't got no telephone number to no taxi....
Nikki Juggs: That's why ya gotta flag em down dumbass!
Ricky Bobby loved it whenever Nikki ordered him around like that. He admired his woman for a moment before she cussed at him once more and ordered him to stop one of the many taxi's driving by. Ricky wasn't familiar with how to flag down a taxi as they are few and far in between in his home state of Alabama.
Ricky Bobby: Ok baby lemme know next time ya see one of them fancy taxi cabs...
Nikki Juggs: *points with no cigarette hand* Here comes one now!!
Ricky not being familiar with the situation, proceeds to jump out into the street in order to stop the taxi. The cab slams on the horn and slams on the brakes in an attempt to avoid running over the Trailer Park Wonder. The taxi slides within two inches of Ricky Bobby, who turns his attention to Nikki.
Ricky Bobby: Baby! It worked!
Nikki Juggs: Get yer arse over here and help me gaw dammit!!
Ricky Bobby approached Nikki's wheel chair and wheeled her toward the cab. He opened the backdoor and slide her from the wheel chair into the cab. He then folded the large wheel chair up. The cab driver popped the cab trunk as Ricky Bobby placed Nikki's wheel chair and their luggage into the trunk. Ricky Bobby then slammed the trunk door closed before climbing into the backseat of the cab. He closed his door shut. Driving the cab was a guy from Sudan who is wearing a turban.
Sudan Cab Driver: Welcome to cab. Where I take you?
Ricky Bobby: Baby I didn't understand a word he just said....
Nikki Juggs: He wants to know where to take us...
Ricky Bobby: Take us to gaw damn Alabama!!!
Sudan Cab Driver: Alabama very long way. I no can do.
Nikki Juggs: It's midnight Ricky Bobby we ain't goin to no gaw damn Alabama tonight...
Ricky Bobby: Sorry baby I'm just ready to leave this gaw damn town.... It reminds me of that gaw damn sum-bitch Jesse Styles.
Nikki Juggs: We may as well stay here Ricky Bobby.... we aint got no car and ya got another match....
The Sudan Cab Driver looks into the back seat at the odd couple with a smile on his face as he awaits their final decision on where to take them to.
Nikki Juggs: Take us to the gaw damn Motel Room, Osama...
Sudan Cab Driver: I not Osama Laden he dead. I Samir from Sudan!
Nikki Juggs: *puffs on Cigarette* Frankly I don't give a gaw damn now hit tha gas!
The Sudan Cab Driver obliges and begins driving the first couple of white trash toward the nearest motel room as Nikki Juggs hot boxes the entire taxi cab. The Sudan Cab Driver coughs several times trying to hint for Nikki to put out her cigarette. Nikki does not catch on to the hint and Ricky Bobby is beginning to get thirsty.
Ricky Bobby: *to Sudan Cab Driver* Bossman, do ya got any beer?
Sudan Cab Drive: We no drink alcohol in Sudan.
Ricky Bobby: Gaw dammit! Tha Ricky sho is thursty!
Nikki Juggs: We will be at tha motel in a gaw damn minute then ya can drank all tha mutha fuckin beer ya want, Ricky Bobby!
Ricky Bobby: I heard dat!
Nikki Juggs: Who is this feller ya gone be wrasslin next week on tee-vee?
Ricky Bobby: Hell if tha Ricky knows, baby. He is some new boy. I usually would call tha Jesse up in these here types of situations where I'm gonna wrassle somebody new. But I don't reckon I can do that no more.
Nikki Juggs: If we call dat bald headed mutha fuckin cock suckin sum bitch up we ain't gonna be talkin bout no gaw damn match.... we gonna tell him how big of a giant pussy he is!
Ricky Bobby: I can't believe tha Ricky let him kick meh in muh face against for the second week... Looks like I'd seen that shit comin this time!
Nikki Juggs: But that chump Owl Anvy held ya and ya didn't have no where to go... Ya couldn't have avoided it, Ricky Bobby.
Ricky Bobby: I shouda drove Angel threw the ring and ran both them sum bitches over killing em dead! I'm just glad they didn't lay their greedy hands on muh baby, Nikk-eh!
Nikki Juggs: That Powder lookin mutha fucka better hope tha Nikk-eh don't get outta this here wheel chair soon cause when I do I'ma gonna know Jesse's arse out with these here big ass titties! *jiggles her gigantic boobs with a quick slap with her hand*
Ricky Bobby: You tell em, baby!
Nikki Juggs: To hell with Jesse and Owl! Ya need to focus on this week, baby. Whats the name of that there new wrassler ya gonna be fightin?
Ricky Bobby: They tell me his names Buck Florida. Never heard of em.
The Sudan Cab Driver abruptly slams on the breaks nearly slinging Ricky and Nikki through the wind shield. He then turns his attention toward the back seat where Nikki and Ricky are sitting.
Sudan Cab Driver: Did you say.... Buck.... Florida?
Nikki Juggs: That's exactly what he said. I reckon ya ain't hard of hearing after gaw damn all!
Ricky Bobby: Ya know Buck Florida?
Sudan Cab Driver: That asshole owe me one thousand dollar in unpaid cab fee!
Ricky Bobby: Gaw damn! How many times did ya drive him around?
Sudan Cab Driver: Only one time. But he do thousand dollar worth of damage to car.
Ricky Bobby: How tha hell did he do that much damage in one car ride?
Sudan Cab Driver: He have party in backseat with several hooker.
Nikki Juggs: Well ain't that just gaw damn great! I'm sitting where Buck Florida busted his nut with some skank arse biyatch!
Sudan Cab Driver: It no stop there. One of the lady defecated in back seat. Buck Florida drank so much alcohol he puke in back seat.
Ricky Bobby: Hell yeah!
Sudan Cab Driver: Then he no pay for cab ride. He jump out of car and run away. He no pay hooker either and she no pay me either.
Nikki Juggs: Sounds like he stiffed yer gaw damn arse to meh!
Ricky Bobby: Don't ya worry buddy, tha Ricky will get revenge on Buck Florida fer ya. I beat that thousand bucks outta him fer ya!
Sudan Cab Driver: Maybe I help you confront Buck Florida...
Ricky Bobby: Well that's a good gaw damn idea. Pull into this here motel and ya can stay with us. We will wait for daylight to approach then we can go after Buck Florida. We don't have to wait until Ignite!
The Sudan Cab Driver pulls into the motel as instructed which just so happens to be a Super Motel 8. Ricky, Nikki, and the Sudan Cab Driver enter the motel and proceed to check in. Nikki pull a wad of cash out of her tank top and pays the receptionist for the room. The three of them will proceed to imply the lie and wait tactic as they attempt get the cab driver his money back out of Buck Florida.
TO BE CONTINUED...