Post by Deleted on Mar 17, 2015 19:05:00 GMT -6
-----3 AM-----
Amir Azizalmodabakinyata sat in his yellow cab and tapped his Sudanese finger on the taxi’s steering wheel as he listened to voice of his favorite artist, known as Abdel Aziz El Mubarak, on the car’s radio belt out yet another one of his classic hits.
The cab driver originally from the Sudan smiled as he thought about his earlier phone conversation with his brother Samir. His also taxi driving brother had been screwed out of a thousand dollars by some troll like, foul looking American infidel recently. Amir was indeed quite pleased to now hear that Samir had joined up with a large man known as “The Ricky Bobby” as well as quite buxom lady friend to reclaim the money and make the devious midget pay for his sins.
Unfortunately for Amir, his moment of bliss is interrupted as the back door of his cab is flung open. Mere seconds later, a rather short, quite stocky frowning man plops into one of the back seats and then slams the door shut.
Cursing some phrase, only recognizable to one from the Sudan or possibly a proof reader from a “John Woosck” run wrestling promotion, Amir quickly turns his head and glares back at the unwanted passenger.
AMIR: No! Get out of seat, Amir is on the break!
PASSENGER: What the fuck is a fucking “Amir”?
AMIR: I am the Amir! Get out of car, no ride for you!
PASSENGER: Calm the fuck down Ahab, I’m just trying to get a fucking ride to the nearest fucking Wal-Mart.
AMIR: No Wal-Mart, no ride. The break Amir is on!
PASSENGER: Come on fucker; just run my ass down to one. I’m trying to locate some inbred, mullet haired fucking ape and I figured I would just hit every shit ass Wal-Mart. It’s 3 am on a Wednesday right now, so I’ll probably find the fuck doing his grocery shopping at one of them.
AMIR: I care not, get out of the car. You must go!
PASSENGER: Fuck! What the hell is wrong with all you turban wearing foreign fucks driving cabs around here? I went through this same shit not long ago with another one of you fucks. Fucking bullshit.
Pulling his head back a bit from his unwanted passenger’s last statement, Amir squints his eyes in the direction of the 5’7”, 250 pound buzzed cut hair top headed man currently scowling back at him in the back seat of the taxi.
Huffing, Amir Azizalmodabakinyata raises his right hand and then points a finger directly at the foul mouthed man in the back of his yellow cab.
AMIR: You…you…you are the Boook Florida!
BUCK FLORIDA: The what?
AMIR: You are the Boook Florida! You steal from my brother Samir, thousand dollars you owe of the money!
BUCK FLORIDA: Oh fuck. That other turban headed fucker was your brother? Listen you Punjab fucker; I’ll get your fucking brother his money. Stop worrying about that bullshit and take my fucking ass to Wal-Mart.
Screaming out a Sudanese phrase, often translated as “Death To Midgets!”, Amir quickly grabs a dark tan baseball bat from under the taxi’s front seats and then swiftly exits the driver’s side door.
Seeing the cab driver’s actions, the grubby, rather portly grappler from Tampa Florida known as Buck Florida swings open the taxis backdoor and exits to the lowly lit street as well.
Now standing in the middle of the street gripping the baseball bat in his hands; the angered Amir Azizalmodabakinyata glares over at the short man who is now position merely ten feet away from him in the street.
AMIR: One thousand dollars! You give the monies you owe my brother to me!
BUCK FLORIDA: Calm the fuck down. I told you I would pay your fucking brother back….someday. Put that fucking bat down, get the fuck back in that shit ass cab, and take my fucking ass to Wal-Mart. Kapeesh?
AMIR: No Boook Florida! You will pay for the monies you owe Samir. If not by me, then by “The Ricky Bobby’!
BUCK FLORIDA: What the fuck? How the hell do you know I was going to have your fucking ass take me out to find that piece of Alabama hog shit?
AMIR: Ha! You no find “The Ricky Bobby”… my brother and “The Ricky Bobby” will find YOU!
BUCK FLORIDA: Are you fucking drunk off camel piss or some other bullshit? What the fuck are you babbling about?
Obviously filled with too much rage to continue to verbalize with the 5’7” somewhat stocky man from the Sunshine State, Amir Azizalmodabakinyata lets out some sort of rolling tongue filled cackle, begins to swing the bat wildly, and then charges Buck Florida.
Ducking the first head aimed swing of the bat, the often angered man from Tampa Florida counters with a hard overhand right punch, known as the “Buck Shot”, to the side of the Sudanese cab drivers head.
The brief late night street fight then comes to a sudden end as Amir Azizalmodabakinyata falls unconscious to the cold dark paved road.
----10 minutes later----
Sitting in the front driver’s side seat of the yellow taxi cab, Buck Florida adjusts the haphazardly wrapped turban around his somewhat melon shaped fat head and then slides the keys into the vehicle’s ignition.
Even with the Sudanese man bound and gagged in the truck of the taxi, the foul mouthed man still believed he could make some good time to hit a couple local Wal-Marts in search of Ricky Bobby Cassels before sunrise.
Just before Buck Florida begins put the cab into drive, a voice begins to crackle on the hand held Motorola Two Way radio device currently lying on the taxi’s dashboard.
VOICE: Amir….Amir…..You got a pickup at……
----15 minutes later----
Yellow Cab Station #319 head dispatcher “Big” Lou Heffers paused for another deep breath and then ran his right hand through the rapidly thinning hair still left on the top of his head.
After slowly laying his Motorola Two Way radio unit down on his desk, Big Lou turns his quite hefty body in his swivel chair towards the direction of the middle aged, quite thin woman, with a three foot tall red bee hive hair doo a top her crow faced head; sitting several feet away at her own desk.
HEFFERS: Flo, call the police.
Shooting an alarmed glance back towards Big Lou Heffers, Flo stands up from her chair and then grabs her phone.
FLO: The police? What’s wrong Louie?
HEFFERS: Amir is dead.
Panic consumes Flo and the red haired woman falls back into her chair. Holding her abdomen and thinking of the child of her secret lover Amir Azizalmodabakinyata she now carries, tears begin to fill her face as she stares back over at Big Lou Heffers.
FLO: How…how….did this happen?
HEFFERS: He was apparently beat to death with a baseball bat. The monster that did it actual just told me from Amir’s cab radio.
FLO: He…he…told you?
HEFFERS: Yes, the dude is one of those pro wrestling meat heads. Probably with all the steroids and shit they put in their bodies, the guy must have just snapped. The psycho even told me his name. That doesn’t matter now Flo, I need you to call the police…now.
Wiping the tears from her eyes, Flo takes a deep breath and then slowly picks up her phone.
Just before she begins to dial 9-1-1, Flo again looks back over towards Big Lou Heffers.
FLO: Who do I tell them killed poor Amir?
HEFFERS: Ricky Bobby Cassels.