Post by Alan Envy on Mar 19, 2015 17:14:46 GMT -6
“What in the fuck is there always traffic in this goddamn city?”
The back seat of this car was starting to make my ass fall asleep. The only thing I was looking at through the window of the car were red brake lights as myself and the driver were inching our way to the Palmer Street Hilton where I was meeting Chris Styles who supposedly had something set up for me, I spent pretty much the entire night at Club Rain and according to my Rolex, yeah people still wear wristwatches, it was damn near 7AM. The sense of being tired was starting to overcome me and this traffic constantly stopping and going was not helping me at least take a 15 minute nap.
“Sir, the hotel is about 15 minutes away but with this traffic it might take at least an hour. Might want to just sit back and doze off sir.”
My driver saw I might be a little tired. i waved my hand at his suggestion pretty much telling him to mind his own business. There was way too much going through my mind right now. Ignite was only a few days away, and even though my opponent wasn’t in my opinion going to be the toughest I have ever faced Sasha Foote might just be the spunkiest I have ever shared a ring with.
She isn’t spunky in an annoying Punky Brewster type. She just shows a lot of spunk. You could also make a case for instead of spunk she is just showing stupidity, actually I like that word better….stupidity.
Yeah stupidity….Sasha Foote might just be the dumbest person on the face of the Earth. Maybe she had one too many shots to the head during her mysterious boxing career. Its mysterious to me since well I have searched for one damn fight that involved her and I found nothing at all. Yet she gets on Twitter and talks shit like she actually is somebody, worst yet, she actually thinks she is going to make a statement in her first match against me…..in other words I was going to be the first to receive her foot print.
Yet I had grown tired of exchanging blows on Twitter with her. Much like what is going to happen on Ignite she couldn’t even land one good jab on me on Twitter.I just want to get this over with and move on to more important matters with people who actually deserve to stand in the ring with me.
That starts after Demented, because Ricky Bobby sure as fuck isn’t one of those people either. How many times have I proved that shit over the last few months. Guess once again I will have to do what I am really good at again, embarrassing the redneck piece of shit.
But first things first. The traffic started to move a little better and after another 15 minutes of annoying honking we finally pull up to the front of the Palmer Street Hotel. Getting out of the car the concierge greets me as I walk by them without any kind of acknowledgement. A little boy approaches me for an autograph and I sign it without really saying anything to him before I get on the elevator. Soon the room number indicating the room Chris Styles has reserved comes within focus. About to walk into it I hear some rumblings inside. It sounded like a video being played over and over again. Cautiously I start to knock however the damn door is opened and I am able to push it in and enter the room. Peeking around looking into the living area of the suite I see the video of Sasha Foote knocking out Chris Styles, and sitting on the couch was Chris Styles, beating his dick like it was a drug dealer that sold him low quality shit.
Shaking my head I walk over to the couch and smack him in the back of the head.
Al Envy: I am a little hungover right now and have not got much sleep. The last thing I need is to walk into you masturbating.
Chris not ashamed at all that he was caught whacking his weiner and nonchalantly just tucks in and pulls his pants up. Looking at the video on the tv I just shake my head.
Chris Styles: Come on man you know she is fucking hot. And she punched me, that tells me she digs my shit!
Al Envy: Jesus Christ you two would be perfect for each other. Why in the hel was the door opened?
Chris Styles: Oh well I was thinking maybe if one of those fat mexican housekeepers just so happen to walk in they would like what they saw and jump on my burrito.
I have had enough of this conversation. The thought of taking a seat nauseated me considering whether he knew how to control his bodily fluids so I just walked over the the balcony window and peered out over the bustling city of Chicago. Out of the corner of my eye something catches it. It was a magazine. The person on the cover looked very familiar indeed. Her then black hair shone through the cover and her I hate to admit impressive body was tucked in tight into her boxing gear. She smiled as she had her gloves up ready to go to battle.
Al Envy: Chris? What in the fuck is this??
Chris Styles: Oh snap that is why I wanted you to come here. Yesterday I was looking through Hustler and Playboy at the convenience store down the street and I saw that. Its called Girl Jock. And of course it had Sasha on the cover so that was also a bonus. Tried jacking of to it but I had to see her live action to blow it………
Al Envy: I don’t fucking care to hear about that shit….what does this have to do with me? So what she is on the cover of some spare chick magazine. What does this have to do with anything?
Chris Styles: Just turn to page 47.
I check the magazine to see if any Cheetah stains were on the pages then cautiously turn to page 47. I was surprised to see myself staring back at me. It was a picture I did for promotional stuff a few months ago of myself in my attire. I looked at the title above my head.
Al Envy: I am the man crush of the month?
Chris Styles: Yep. So I see that then I notice I can contact these people. Girl Jocks is coming here to get a short interview with you for next month’s magazine. They want to because you were their most viewed page on their website. So I told them I was your agent and set up a meeting here at one of the conference rooms they provide business professionals. Its scheduled for 1pm.
Al Envy: So...you lie and tell them you are my agent and schedule me for an interview without even asking me??
Chris starts to look a little nervous as I slowly start walking towards him.
Chris Styles: Well….yes. I couldn’t just tell them I was some guy that knew you. Duh….look you need to do it. Jesse is all for it. The fucking magazine has a half a mil subscribers and their website is visited by a mil a week. He thinks its great press. And you are obviously the heart of their desire as far as they go. So just go talk to them and play nice. Jesse words not mine…..please don’t hurt me.
Rubbing my face I take a deep breath. I guess I didn't have a choice in the matter. Looking down at the Rolex once again I realized that I had about four hours until I did the interview.
Al Envy: I am going to go take a nap…
Chris Styles: The bed is in there.
Al Envy: Seriously dude. I am not sleeping where you slept, the couch is infected with your man jizz. I am going to go to the car and sleep in the backseat.
And with that. I left the hotel and walked to the car. Told the driver to take a four hour break and dozed off in the back seat.
=================================================================
1:25 PM
Sitting in the conference room across from me is a rather attractive brunette in a tight business suit. She is getting her notes together occasionally looking up at me. She looked through her notes and finally focused her eyes on me. She smiled at me as I read through her she definitely thought I was a good choice for Man Crush of the Month.
“Ok Al. My name is Sara. Thanks for the time you granted me today.
Al Envy: Its my pleasure.
Sara: So shall we begin. I don’t want to bore our readers with any kind of history of you. This is called Girl Jock you know so why would I do a rather long dragged out interview with a man for the magazine and our site dedicated to women athletics. So shall we begin?
Heh I liked this one. I was just fine with not sitting here for an hour wasting precious time out of my day.
Al Envy: I totally agree.
Sara: So Al. Professional wrestling has been a male dominated sport for well ever since its inception. However I did do some research on the main company you are involved with and that is New Edge Wrestling and I see that a few women have actually been the world champion there. And when it comes to the title you hold there in the Trans-Atlantic two women have the most reigns under their belts. As a male how do you feel about that?
Al Envy: Well let me ask you this. What makes your interview look better? Do you want me to say that all of those women, the Valora’s the Blair Buchannan’s, the Molly Mayhems’s or Vanessa’s who held the world title didn’t deserve them because they are women and inferior to us males or do you want me to say those ladies as well as Scarlet Styles who has held the TA title four times worked just as hard any man with a pair between his legs has.
Sara looked a little confused and thrown off by my response
Sara: Actually I wanted your thoughts on it thats all.
Al Envy: Well my opinion is they all deserved it. I have had many matches with all of those women and they all gave me an excellent match. I have no shame in saying a couple of them actually gave me more because they actually defeated me. You see honey pot NEW is all about opportunity, unlike how you were hoping in this interview we are with the times, no longer are chauvinistic ideas still going around. We give everyone an equal opportunity male or female that deserve the opportunity to perform in front of our audience that deserve it. And for the most part all of those women embraced that opportunity, took it, and rose to the top of our profession. Hell most of them are actual hall of famers.
Sara liked what she heard, even though I was pretty sure she wanted me to say the latter. Controversy does sell magazines.
Sara: Speaking of opportunity. You were our man crush of the month this past month, also our cover athlete was none other than Sasha Foote. She of course is making her wrestling debut after a very successful boxing career and it will be in New Edge Wrestling and it so happens to be against you.
There it was again. The successful boxing career with nothing available to prove she had one.
Sara: Have you followed Sasha’s career? How do you think she will do in NEW?
Al Envy: Well let me ay Sasha is very opinionated about how she is going to do in this debut match. As you can see if you follow her on Twitter.
Sara: Why yes we here at Girl Jock really admire Sasha Foote for her contributions, her passion and views on life, and of course her overwhelming success in athletics.She is a hero for so many of us. We are so excited about her new opportunity.
Yeah...I was really growing tired of this shit.
Al Envy: Well you know how I mentioned the amount of respect I had for those women that you brought up earlier??
Sara: Absolutely.
Al Envy: yeah well as far as Sasha goes……...I don’t have near the respect for her as I do them. As a matter of fact I find her to be an annoying little troll that thinks just because she had whatever success in boxing she had that she will automatically have it in pro wrestling.
Sara looked at Al differently as she did before. She started sitting back in her chair in a nervous fashion. Maybe my tone was starting to get a little threatening.
Al Envy: What Sahsa Foote doesn’t realize is that this isn’t fucking boxing. This is pro wrestling. She thinks just because she has had two weeks of training by some wrestlers who suck so bad that they can’t get a job anywhere but from some washed up boxer that decided one day to be a pro wrestler she actually thinks she belongs in my world?No sweetheart she doesn’t belong in my world. I question how smart she really is actually. She wanted a debut match with me one of the greats in this sport. What does she think I am going to do just lie down and make her look good because she is a girl?
Sara was about to say something but I was done with this. It was time to stop this interview of the Sasha Foote Fan Club.
Al Envy: The match between myself and her happens before this interview is published right? Well I have your cover story for that issue. After your readers read how at Ignite 202 highly admired Sasha Foote was seriously injured in her pro wrestling debut they can turn the page and read it straight from the man who did it to her own lips. I am going to teach Sasha something about respect. I am going to maul her, stretch her, and make her beg for mercy. Then I will end her and send her back to where she belongs. She is going to regret ever trying to make a name for herself off of me. And I am going to do it with a smile on my face.
Sara knew the interview was over. I smiled at her and stood up. Placing my sunglasses back on and adjusting my blazer I walked out of the conference room. This whole Sasha Foot thing had finally got on my last nerve. I was ready to be done with the whole situation.
You know at first when this whole Sasha Foote thing came about I admired the spunk and passion she showed. I admired that she was someone that wanted to go straight o the top of the ladder, that she actually thought she had the talent and heart to become a main event player right off the bat. I respect that aspect about someone. I like confidence and gumption.
Yet after what she did to Chris Styles and how she just thought she belonged and that everyone was going to go down by her hand it got irritating. Then once again she started again on Twitter trying to intimidate me bringing up how she knocked out Chris Styles which is just a tad harder than stepping on a water beetle. All of this I am more talented than you are and you have never faced anyone like me shit before. It has all rather become excessively annoying, and at Ignite 202 I send the arrogant rookie back to where she belongs, and back on a stretcher.
You're not a pro wrestler Sasha, and this world you are entering too is not the pussy sport of boxing where you wear gloves to protect each others faces. My hands won’t be covered, I will bruise and swell your face. I will take you down to the mat and we will see how your boxing works when I am stretching every inch of you into excruciating pain for you. The regret you will have afterwards of running your stupid little mouth and telling everyone that would actually listen to you is going to overwhelm you to the point that you are going to question your decision on even getting in this sport.
Hell I am not going to even brag about kicking your ass dumplin. This isn’t going to be fun for me. Its like someone is being thrown in a cage with the biggest lion there is and that lion chews up and spits that person you without even so much as a hint of getting fought back. I am not into massacres Sasha Foote, but unfortunately at Ignite I am going to be a part of one. You call yourself a problem, well the only problem you are going to cause me is all of the notifications I have had on my Twitter because of your stupid ass.
The problem will be solved at Ignite 202, and the Show Stealer will once again prove why he is the best in the world.
Your 15 minutes of fame will come crashing down
#ProblemSolved
The back seat of this car was starting to make my ass fall asleep. The only thing I was looking at through the window of the car were red brake lights as myself and the driver were inching our way to the Palmer Street Hilton where I was meeting Chris Styles who supposedly had something set up for me, I spent pretty much the entire night at Club Rain and according to my Rolex, yeah people still wear wristwatches, it was damn near 7AM. The sense of being tired was starting to overcome me and this traffic constantly stopping and going was not helping me at least take a 15 minute nap.
“Sir, the hotel is about 15 minutes away but with this traffic it might take at least an hour. Might want to just sit back and doze off sir.”
My driver saw I might be a little tired. i waved my hand at his suggestion pretty much telling him to mind his own business. There was way too much going through my mind right now. Ignite was only a few days away, and even though my opponent wasn’t in my opinion going to be the toughest I have ever faced Sasha Foote might just be the spunkiest I have ever shared a ring with.
She isn’t spunky in an annoying Punky Brewster type. She just shows a lot of spunk. You could also make a case for instead of spunk she is just showing stupidity, actually I like that word better….stupidity.
Yeah stupidity….Sasha Foote might just be the dumbest person on the face of the Earth. Maybe she had one too many shots to the head during her mysterious boxing career. Its mysterious to me since well I have searched for one damn fight that involved her and I found nothing at all. Yet she gets on Twitter and talks shit like she actually is somebody, worst yet, she actually thinks she is going to make a statement in her first match against me…..in other words I was going to be the first to receive her foot print.
Yet I had grown tired of exchanging blows on Twitter with her. Much like what is going to happen on Ignite she couldn’t even land one good jab on me on Twitter.I just want to get this over with and move on to more important matters with people who actually deserve to stand in the ring with me.
That starts after Demented, because Ricky Bobby sure as fuck isn’t one of those people either. How many times have I proved that shit over the last few months. Guess once again I will have to do what I am really good at again, embarrassing the redneck piece of shit.
But first things first. The traffic started to move a little better and after another 15 minutes of annoying honking we finally pull up to the front of the Palmer Street Hotel. Getting out of the car the concierge greets me as I walk by them without any kind of acknowledgement. A little boy approaches me for an autograph and I sign it without really saying anything to him before I get on the elevator. Soon the room number indicating the room Chris Styles has reserved comes within focus. About to walk into it I hear some rumblings inside. It sounded like a video being played over and over again. Cautiously I start to knock however the damn door is opened and I am able to push it in and enter the room. Peeking around looking into the living area of the suite I see the video of Sasha Foote knocking out Chris Styles, and sitting on the couch was Chris Styles, beating his dick like it was a drug dealer that sold him low quality shit.
Shaking my head I walk over to the couch and smack him in the back of the head.
Al Envy: I am a little hungover right now and have not got much sleep. The last thing I need is to walk into you masturbating.
Chris not ashamed at all that he was caught whacking his weiner and nonchalantly just tucks in and pulls his pants up. Looking at the video on the tv I just shake my head.
Chris Styles: Come on man you know she is fucking hot. And she punched me, that tells me she digs my shit!
Al Envy: Jesus Christ you two would be perfect for each other. Why in the hel was the door opened?
Chris Styles: Oh well I was thinking maybe if one of those fat mexican housekeepers just so happen to walk in they would like what they saw and jump on my burrito.
I have had enough of this conversation. The thought of taking a seat nauseated me considering whether he knew how to control his bodily fluids so I just walked over the the balcony window and peered out over the bustling city of Chicago. Out of the corner of my eye something catches it. It was a magazine. The person on the cover looked very familiar indeed. Her then black hair shone through the cover and her I hate to admit impressive body was tucked in tight into her boxing gear. She smiled as she had her gloves up ready to go to battle.
Al Envy: Chris? What in the fuck is this??
Chris Styles: Oh snap that is why I wanted you to come here. Yesterday I was looking through Hustler and Playboy at the convenience store down the street and I saw that. Its called Girl Jock. And of course it had Sasha on the cover so that was also a bonus. Tried jacking of to it but I had to see her live action to blow it………
Al Envy: I don’t fucking care to hear about that shit….what does this have to do with me? So what she is on the cover of some spare chick magazine. What does this have to do with anything?
Chris Styles: Just turn to page 47.
I check the magazine to see if any Cheetah stains were on the pages then cautiously turn to page 47. I was surprised to see myself staring back at me. It was a picture I did for promotional stuff a few months ago of myself in my attire. I looked at the title above my head.
Girl Jock Man Crush of the Month
New Edge Wrestling’s Al Envy.
Hands down one of the best pro wrestlers on the planet it’s Al’s irresistible charm and well put together body that earns this crush of the month. Al always stays in incredible shape, and I am sure there are quite a few of us that would love to do some cardio with him So do yourself a favor ladies and try to get as much Envy as possible. You can catch him weekly now on Starz with NEW and their Ignite wrestling show. Follow him on Twitter @alenvy80
New Edge Wrestling’s Al Envy.
Hands down one of the best pro wrestlers on the planet it’s Al’s irresistible charm and well put together body that earns this crush of the month. Al always stays in incredible shape, and I am sure there are quite a few of us that would love to do some cardio with him So do yourself a favor ladies and try to get as much Envy as possible. You can catch him weekly now on Starz with NEW and their Ignite wrestling show. Follow him on Twitter @alenvy80
Al Envy: I am the man crush of the month?
Chris Styles: Yep. So I see that then I notice I can contact these people. Girl Jocks is coming here to get a short interview with you for next month’s magazine. They want to because you were their most viewed page on their website. So I told them I was your agent and set up a meeting here at one of the conference rooms they provide business professionals. Its scheduled for 1pm.
Al Envy: So...you lie and tell them you are my agent and schedule me for an interview without even asking me??
Chris starts to look a little nervous as I slowly start walking towards him.
Chris Styles: Well….yes. I couldn’t just tell them I was some guy that knew you. Duh….look you need to do it. Jesse is all for it. The fucking magazine has a half a mil subscribers and their website is visited by a mil a week. He thinks its great press. And you are obviously the heart of their desire as far as they go. So just go talk to them and play nice. Jesse words not mine…..please don’t hurt me.
Rubbing my face I take a deep breath. I guess I didn't have a choice in the matter. Looking down at the Rolex once again I realized that I had about four hours until I did the interview.
Al Envy: I am going to go take a nap…
Chris Styles: The bed is in there.
Al Envy: Seriously dude. I am not sleeping where you slept, the couch is infected with your man jizz. I am going to go to the car and sleep in the backseat.
And with that. I left the hotel and walked to the car. Told the driver to take a four hour break and dozed off in the back seat.
=================================================================
1:25 PM
Sitting in the conference room across from me is a rather attractive brunette in a tight business suit. She is getting her notes together occasionally looking up at me. She looked through her notes and finally focused her eyes on me. She smiled at me as I read through her she definitely thought I was a good choice for Man Crush of the Month.
“Ok Al. My name is Sara. Thanks for the time you granted me today.
Al Envy: Its my pleasure.
Sara: So shall we begin. I don’t want to bore our readers with any kind of history of you. This is called Girl Jock you know so why would I do a rather long dragged out interview with a man for the magazine and our site dedicated to women athletics. So shall we begin?
Heh I liked this one. I was just fine with not sitting here for an hour wasting precious time out of my day.
Al Envy: I totally agree.
Sara: So Al. Professional wrestling has been a male dominated sport for well ever since its inception. However I did do some research on the main company you are involved with and that is New Edge Wrestling and I see that a few women have actually been the world champion there. And when it comes to the title you hold there in the Trans-Atlantic two women have the most reigns under their belts. As a male how do you feel about that?
Al Envy: Well let me ask you this. What makes your interview look better? Do you want me to say that all of those women, the Valora’s the Blair Buchannan’s, the Molly Mayhems’s or Vanessa’s who held the world title didn’t deserve them because they are women and inferior to us males or do you want me to say those ladies as well as Scarlet Styles who has held the TA title four times worked just as hard any man with a pair between his legs has.
Sara looked a little confused and thrown off by my response
Sara: Actually I wanted your thoughts on it thats all.
Al Envy: Well my opinion is they all deserved it. I have had many matches with all of those women and they all gave me an excellent match. I have no shame in saying a couple of them actually gave me more because they actually defeated me. You see honey pot NEW is all about opportunity, unlike how you were hoping in this interview we are with the times, no longer are chauvinistic ideas still going around. We give everyone an equal opportunity male or female that deserve the opportunity to perform in front of our audience that deserve it. And for the most part all of those women embraced that opportunity, took it, and rose to the top of our profession. Hell most of them are actual hall of famers.
Sara liked what she heard, even though I was pretty sure she wanted me to say the latter. Controversy does sell magazines.
Sara: Speaking of opportunity. You were our man crush of the month this past month, also our cover athlete was none other than Sasha Foote. She of course is making her wrestling debut after a very successful boxing career and it will be in New Edge Wrestling and it so happens to be against you.
There it was again. The successful boxing career with nothing available to prove she had one.
Sara: Have you followed Sasha’s career? How do you think she will do in NEW?
Al Envy: Well let me ay Sasha is very opinionated about how she is going to do in this debut match. As you can see if you follow her on Twitter.
Sara: Why yes we here at Girl Jock really admire Sasha Foote for her contributions, her passion and views on life, and of course her overwhelming success in athletics.She is a hero for so many of us. We are so excited about her new opportunity.
Yeah...I was really growing tired of this shit.
Al Envy: Well you know how I mentioned the amount of respect I had for those women that you brought up earlier??
Sara: Absolutely.
Al Envy: yeah well as far as Sasha goes……...I don’t have near the respect for her as I do them. As a matter of fact I find her to be an annoying little troll that thinks just because she had whatever success in boxing she had that she will automatically have it in pro wrestling.
Sara looked at Al differently as she did before. She started sitting back in her chair in a nervous fashion. Maybe my tone was starting to get a little threatening.
Al Envy: What Sahsa Foote doesn’t realize is that this isn’t fucking boxing. This is pro wrestling. She thinks just because she has had two weeks of training by some wrestlers who suck so bad that they can’t get a job anywhere but from some washed up boxer that decided one day to be a pro wrestler she actually thinks she belongs in my world?No sweetheart she doesn’t belong in my world. I question how smart she really is actually. She wanted a debut match with me one of the greats in this sport. What does she think I am going to do just lie down and make her look good because she is a girl?
Sara was about to say something but I was done with this. It was time to stop this interview of the Sasha Foote Fan Club.
Al Envy: The match between myself and her happens before this interview is published right? Well I have your cover story for that issue. After your readers read how at Ignite 202 highly admired Sasha Foote was seriously injured in her pro wrestling debut they can turn the page and read it straight from the man who did it to her own lips. I am going to teach Sasha something about respect. I am going to maul her, stretch her, and make her beg for mercy. Then I will end her and send her back to where she belongs. She is going to regret ever trying to make a name for herself off of me. And I am going to do it with a smile on my face.
Sara knew the interview was over. I smiled at her and stood up. Placing my sunglasses back on and adjusting my blazer I walked out of the conference room. This whole Sasha Foot thing had finally got on my last nerve. I was ready to be done with the whole situation.
You know at first when this whole Sasha Foote thing came about I admired the spunk and passion she showed. I admired that she was someone that wanted to go straight o the top of the ladder, that she actually thought she had the talent and heart to become a main event player right off the bat. I respect that aspect about someone. I like confidence and gumption.
Yet after what she did to Chris Styles and how she just thought she belonged and that everyone was going to go down by her hand it got irritating. Then once again she started again on Twitter trying to intimidate me bringing up how she knocked out Chris Styles which is just a tad harder than stepping on a water beetle. All of this I am more talented than you are and you have never faced anyone like me shit before. It has all rather become excessively annoying, and at Ignite 202 I send the arrogant rookie back to where she belongs, and back on a stretcher.
You're not a pro wrestler Sasha, and this world you are entering too is not the pussy sport of boxing where you wear gloves to protect each others faces. My hands won’t be covered, I will bruise and swell your face. I will take you down to the mat and we will see how your boxing works when I am stretching every inch of you into excruciating pain for you. The regret you will have afterwards of running your stupid little mouth and telling everyone that would actually listen to you is going to overwhelm you to the point that you are going to question your decision on even getting in this sport.
Hell I am not going to even brag about kicking your ass dumplin. This isn’t going to be fun for me. Its like someone is being thrown in a cage with the biggest lion there is and that lion chews up and spits that person you without even so much as a hint of getting fought back. I am not into massacres Sasha Foote, but unfortunately at Ignite I am going to be a part of one. You call yourself a problem, well the only problem you are going to cause me is all of the notifications I have had on my Twitter because of your stupid ass.
The problem will be solved at Ignite 202, and the Show Stealer will once again prove why he is the best in the world.
Your 15 minutes of fame will come crashing down
#ProblemSolved