Post by Ricky Cassels on Mar 22, 2015 0:01:42 GMT -6
Daylight began to pert-rude through the window of window of the Super 8 Motel room window. Inside the room, we see the trio of Ricky Bobby, Nikki Juggs and the Sudan Cab Driver who we now know as Samir Azizalmodabakinyata. Nikki Juggs is sprawled out across the only bed in the motel room and is snoring like a freight train. She has the bed all to herself and has evidently made herself comfortable in some very skimpy lingerie of choice. Ricky Bobby is curled up in a fetal position on the floor with 20 or better empty Busch light cans surrounding him. Samir Azizalmodabakinyata is sitting upright in a chair and is staring out the window with a very fatigued look on his face as if he hasn't slept at all.
Samir cannot take anymore. He climbs out of his chair and stumbles past the bed Nikki is sleeping in. He glances down at Nikki with a look of disgust on his face. As if Nikki's snoring and bed hogging had most likely cost him an entire night of sleep. He stumbles over toward Ricky Bobby, who is still asleep on the floor. Samir taps on the Trailer Park Wonder as he attempts to wake him up. He even speaks while tapping Ricky on the shoulder.
Samir Azizalmodabakinyata: Ricky Boobie....
Ricky quickly jumps to his feet and is ready to fight at the drop of a hat. He instinctively punches Samir in the face.
Ricky Bobby: Take that ya sum-bitch!!!
Samir Azizalmodabakinyata: OWWWWW!!!
Ricky Bobby realizes he just punched his cab driver in the face.
Ricky Bobby: Ah shit! My bad Samir! Tha Ricky thought ya was an intruder...
Samir Azizalmodabakinyata: You break Samir nose!
Ricky Bobby: I done told ya I was sorry gaw dammit!
Nikki continues to snore through all this commotion.
Samir Azizalmodabakinyata: Nikki Jug snore louder than anyone I know.
Ricky Bobby: Hey! Don't ya talk bout Tha Ricky's woman like that or else I will break yer nose again!
Samir Azizalmodabakinyata: The sun rise now. Time to go find Buuuuk Florida.
Ricky Bobby: Hang on lemme wake up muh baby.... *turns to a sleeping Nikki* Hey snooki pookie... rise and shine, baby!
One of Nikki's eyes opens and she slowly comes to. She grabs Ricky Bobby by his cut-off jean shorts and begins to unzip them before Ricky quickly stops her. He blushes slightly.
Ricky Bobby: Not yet baby... It ain't time for that. We gotta get up so we can go find Buck Florida for Samir.
Nikki rolls over and reaches for her cigarettes. She pulls one out of the pack of Pall Mall's and lights it up. She then climbs out of bed still wearing her luscious lingerie exposing every fat roll on her body. Samir looks like he may want to puke from the gruesome site while Ricky Bobby has a semi-chubby. Samir quickly hands Nikki her clothes and she puts them on. The three of them exit of the motel room and get into Samir's taxi cab where they will continue to search for Buck Florida.
Ricky Bobby: Samir, since we ain't had no luck at the motel, where ya thanking we gone find this Buck Florida?
Samir Azizalmodabakinyata: Last time I drive Buuuk Florida he have me drop him off at beach.
Ricky Bobby: That's it Samir! We gotta find tha closest beach. Take us there now.
Nikki Juggs: But I forgot to bring muh bathing suit...
Samir Azizalmodabakinyata: *mumbles* Thank Allah...
Ricky Bobby: What was that Samir?
Samir Azizalmodabakinyata: Uhhhh.... Samir say closest beach 10 miles away. Samir step on gas!
Samir does exactly that as he mashes the gas in order to deliver the first couple of white trash to the nearest beach. Hopefully not a nude beach as no one was in the mood to see Nikki nude. Except for Ricky Bobby of course as he never mind catching a glimpse of Nikki in the nude.
Finding Buck Florida in Chicago would be like finding a needle in a haystack. Especially since all the meat heads at the beach looked just like Buck Florida. Short, stocky and bleach blonde hair. But Ricky Bobby knew he needed to do what was right and that was to confront Buck Florida in order to help Samir get his money from Buck. It seemed like Ricky Bobby had been having several confrontations with evil doers as of late. The most recent stand off coming against NEW Owner Jesse Styles and NEW Trans-Atlantic Champion Al Envy. Two men who have been shitting on the fans and wrestlers of NEW over the past year. Even though they may have gotten the better of Ricky Bobby, he had an ace up his sleeve that he will reveal in due time.
But this week his focus was entirely on Buck Florida, who will be making his NEW debut. Buck has been fired from every wrestling promotion known to mankind. Basically NEW is his last opportunity before his ass gets shipped over to Mexico. Florida's back is against the wall which means he will be ready to fight until the death. Because don't nobody wanna have to go work in Mexico. And this makes Buck a very scary challenger for "The Mullet". Buck will come out fighting for his life in his match against Ricky.
Samir continues to speed down the freeway toward the beaches of Chicago. Suddenly, the cab driver from Sudan looks in his rear view mirror and sees blue lights. He is being chased by Chicago's finest. Samir slowly begins to pull to the side of the ride.
Nikki Juggs: *smoking a cig* Why in tha gaw damn hell are we pullin to tha fuckin side of tha road, Osama?
Samir to the cop who is now walking up to his window. Samir rolls his window down as the cop approaches.
Cop: Are you Mr. Samir Aziz...... ummmmm..... mala........ uhhhhh. My apologies for the mis pronunciations sir.
Samir Azizalmodabakinyata: I Samir Azizalmodabakinyata.
The cop removes his smokey and the bandit styled hat and places it over his heart.
Cop: I am sorry to report that we have information your brother Amir may have been murdered....
Samir Azizalmodabakinyata: NOOOOOOOO!!! AMIR!!!!!
Samir cries out as the cop pats the distraught Sudanese Cab Driver on the shoulder. Meanwhile Ricky and Nikki look on in the back seat of the cab in a state of confusion. The cop notices the couple sitting in the back seat and he steps away from the taxi cab momentarily. The cop radios something in to the police station. He then gives the police station a big 10-4 and returns to the taxi cab, this time focusing on the back seat, He opens the door and looks Ricky Bobby in the eye.
Cop: Excuse me sir, would you happen to be Ricky Cassels?
Ricky Bobby: Yeh I'm a Ricky Bobby Cassels. Ya want an autograph or something?
The cop smirks.
Cop: Yeah I'm going to get your autograph alright....
The cop quickly reaches into the backseat and grabs Ricky Bobby by the arm. He then pulls the trailer park wonder out of the taxi cab and slams him hard to the ground before slapping on hand cuffs.
Nikki Juggs: What in tha gaw damn hell is goin on here?!
Nikki charges at the cop but he drops and cuffs her also. The cigarette she was smoking flies up into the air. The cop notifies Ricky Bobby that he is being arrested for murder in the first degree before reading his Miranda's rights. He then places Ricky and Nikki in the back seat of his cop car. Meanwhile, Samir is confused as to what's going on as the couple has been by his side all along. He follows the cop down to the police station. Once at the police station, Nikki, Ricky and Samir are all placed in separate rooms with separate detectives.
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Ricky's Police Interview
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Detective: *shouting* You sick son a bitch!!!
Ricky Bobby: What???
Detective: *still shouting* How could you murder Amir Azizalmodabakinyata all the while having Samir Azizalmodabakinyata drive you around in his taxi cab?!?!
Ricky Bobby: I don't even know what tha gaw damn hell ya talkin bout....
Detective: *gets face to face with Ricky while shouting and poking Ricky in the chest with his finger* YOU killed Amir and YOU did it with a..... BASEBALL BAT!!!
Ricky Bobby: If ya put yer gaw damn hands on tha Ricky one mo time I'm gonna kill yer arse!!!! I ain't killed nobody named Amir!!! Tha Ricky try to help his brother Samir!!!
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Nikki's Police Interview
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This detective is fatter than Nikki Juggs.
Detective: Ms. Juggs, can you tell me your side of the story?
Nikki Juggs: Well ya see meh, Ricky Bobby and Osama been riding around for tha last two days lookin fer Ricky Bobby's opponent...
Detective: Do you mean the man you all killed?
Nikki Juggs: We ain't killed no gaw damn body, I tell ya. We been lookin fer Buck Florida....
The detective stands up and approaches Nikki. He places his hands on her very large shoulders and begins rubbing them.
Detective: ..... Ms. Juggs, I believe you and Ricky are guilty as charged.
Nikki Juggs: Fuck naw we ain't!!!
Detective: But I'm going to offer you a plea bargain and you can very well take it or leave....
Nikki Juggs: Just gimme the gaw damn papers and I'll sign em....
The detective looks down at Nikki with a smirk on his face.
Detective: Don't worry Ms. Juggs as there won't be any papers to sign.
Nikki looks on very confused as the detective begins to laugh. He then slowly begins to unzip his pants.
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Ricky's Police Interview
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Detective: I'm going to ask you one more time, Mr. Cassels.... How did YOU kill Amir Azizalmodabakinyata?
Ricky Bobby pounds his fist on the table.
Ricky Bobby: I done told ya cock suckin sum-bitch, tha Ricky ain't killed no gaw damn body! I'm gonna kill that Buck Florida sum bitch in tha wrasslin rang this week.... but he's it.
The detective scratches his head as things aren't making much sense.
Detective: You do realize the harder you fight the system, the stiffer the punishment will be? Now what did you do with the body?
Just as Ricky is about to defend himself once more, the detective who was interviewing Nikki, barges into the room. He has a large smile on his face.
Detective #2: It's okay Alonso, the girl signed the "plea agreement". These two are free to go.
Detective: Damn you! She was supposed to sign my agreement too. *turns to Ricky* Well you heard the man... you all are free to go!
Ricky quickly exits the interview room where he finds Samir and Nikki waiting outside. Nikki has a very demoralized look on her face. The trio exits the police station and get back into Samir's taxi. Samir fires up the taxi and just as he's about to throw it in drive, another taxi cab comes blowing by. Samir immediately recognizes the taxi cab as belonging to his brother Amir.
Samir Azizalmodabakinyata: That Amir's Cab!!!!
Ricky Bobby: Follow it!!!!
Samir steps on the gas and tries his best to catch up to his brothers cab. They come to a red light but Samir blows through it nearly getting creamed by a semi. He continues to follow Amir's cab, which Samir can vaguely see in the distance. But the cab begins to slow down and turns into a Wal-Mart parking lot. Samir speeds to catch up. Amir's cab pulls into a parking spot and parks. Samir races toward the cab as he sees a short, stocky man exit the cab and go inside Wal-Mart. Samir races next to the cab and parks before jumping out of his cab as does Ricky and Nikki. Upon stepping outside, the can hear a loud banging noise coming from the trunk of the cab. Samir quickly pops the trunk of the cab and finds his brother Amir bound in a dominatrix leather strap. Samir is excited to find his brother alive as tears stream down his face.
Samir Azizalmodabakinyata: AMIR!!! You're Alive!!!!
Ricky helps Samir untie his brother and they pull the duct tape from his mouth.
Ricky Bobby: Who did this to ya bro?
Amir Azizalmodabakinyata: *gasping for air while trying to speak* ....... Buuuk...... Florida.......
Samir and Ricky Bobby turn their attention toward Wal-Mart where they saw the cab driver enter. They knew the short, stocky man they saw had to be Buck Florida. They Sudanese Cab Drive and Alabama Redneck both raced inside Wally-World in hopes of finding Buck Florida so they could kick his ass....