Post by Deleted on Apr 6, 2015 20:59:25 GMT -6
Ladies and Gentlemen....
He has traveled from afar to give hope to New Edge Wrestling!
He has fought across the world, spreading a message of peace, love, and responsible recreational drug use! (Ed. note: Check on this)
He is the man who needs no introduction, making this entire thing a waste of time!
He is the hero that NEW never knew it might someday probably need in the distant future, maybe!
The hero of the battered, bruised, and belittled!
The Pesticidal, Spermacidal, School Recital Madman!
(Unofficially) Al Envy's favorite wrestler and Man Crush!
He is.....
THE DREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAMM!
*From out of a giant cloud of smoke comes The Dream, coughing a bit as he stumbles around. His eyes are a little bloodshot, but other than that he seems alright. Key word being "seems", since no one is ever really sure if The Dream is alright.
Dream continues coughing before looking up, noticing the camera on him. Dream stifles a cough before looking around, as if searching for a plausible explanation. After a few seconds, Dream clears his throat and stands upright, smiling at the camera.*
And that, folks, is why you should be careful when dealing with fire! Because it could get out of hand and you end up with smoke everywhere!
..... Yeah, yeah that sounds believable.
Now, this is for the, the NEW, correct? The one with the King Shit of Fuck All Mountain and the Sasha girl and my man crush Al Envy? Good, good, almost got initials mixed up. That's what happens when you smo- WRESTLE FOR OTHER PROMOTIONS. Um, so.... introductions! Right!
Well, like the mystical voice over said, I am The Dream! The Inspiration to the US Nation! That El Sueño bloke from South London! And after a somewhat successful career and a short stint as King of Television, I have found my way to the land where a handsome masked individual can succeed, which is perfect! Why, a simple bloke from South London who is supported by Nicaragua and fights for America and its territories fits in perfectly here!
Now, it's no secret that your hero and mine has been a force of nature on the twitter machine. Why, I've made friends with Ruthann, became a MadiFriend, shared a mutual, totally normal and healthy appreciation for Al Envy's looks, and even fought against the evil known as #MaskedDiscrimination! What's that you say? Masked Discrimination? Whell let me learn ya something today! Ol' Sasha wasn't too big on this prime cut of beefcake you see before you, even going so far as to insult my mask! My beautiful mask! I was nothing but polite and flirtatious, and yet I had to fight against #MaskedDiscrimination not just for myself, but for the people who see this mask as a symbol of hope and inspiration! Now Sasha and I are cool, which goes to show what positivity can do! Dream 1, Masked Discrimination 0!
But, I digress. This isn't about me fighting against the tyranny of evil, mask-hating individuals who are trying to keep a hard-working American citizen down. No no no, this is about El Sueño stepping onto the big stage and getting the respect and admiration that, if I can be humble, I deserve! Not only that, but a bigger stage means a bigger platform to spread my message to the masses! They too should be told to believe in their dreams, to keep on dreaming, because it is the dreamers who have shaped this great nation! Men dreamed of flying, of sailing, of inventing things so that our lives could be easier! Could you imagine life without the cotton gin? The microwave? THE THONG?! The thong, people! Not only does it look good on women, but did you ever notice how you don't see too many panty lines when ladies wear yoga pants? THE THONG! Courtesy of those who dared to dream!
And at Demented, those dreamers find another source of inspiration! Because yours truly will make his long-awaited debut in the scramble match for the briefcase, giving me a shot at whatever title I like! Well, not the Heavyweight Title, but still! The Dream could get a guaranteed title shot in his first match, and considering I have the support of America by my side, there's not a doubt in the mind of The Dream that this match will result in victory! Why? Glad you asked, hypothetical viewer!
1. I want to win. It's a well-known fact that those who want to win have a higher percent of winning over those that don't. Something about desire and determination, but it all boils down to I want to win. People like winners.
2. I don't want to lose. Like I said, people like winners. Losers.... not so much. Look at the football teams if you don't believe me. There used to be a time when you could freely admit that you rooted for a team. Nowadays, it takes courage and brass ones to say you like the Jets. Or the Giants. Way to shit the bed, Eli.
3. Experience! Why, I once competed in a three hour spelling bee at the local community college, despite not being enrolled. And while the records of that event have yet to be made public after I sued them, just know I was super close. If they wanted me to say the "l" in "qualm", they would have pronounced it! They resorted to trickery, and in Dream's America, we believe in honesty and fair play!
4. ... I forget four. But it was good!
5. Would this be four by proxy? I'm calling it five. And number five is Uncertainty! I have no idea what I'm gonna do out there. It's not like this is planned or anything, because that would be silly. Nope, I've got the edge on Dallas Maverick and Moshpit, because The Dream is a jack of all trades! A little bit of the ultraviolence, some subterfuge, a surprising knowledge of technical wrestling, and perhaps some Les Kellet thrown in for the laughs.
I remember four! It was The People! Yep, though I may appear a newcomer, the people love The Dream! I personally believe it's because of my sweet, sweet dance moves and the mask. Believe you me, brother, the mask is gold. And my dance moves? Second to none! And with these two special ingredients in the Appletini of Awesome that is The Dream, I fight for the people!
So come Demented, we will all be part of the NEW family! Most of you I don't know, so that's most of my family anyways, Jodie will be the cute cousin I have funny feelings for, same with Sasha I suppose, and I'll be that kid who's hopped up on waaaaaaaay too much sugar and caffeine!
Just like my family across the pond.
So let's tango, boys! For America, for the people, for, um... damn. I always forget the third thing.
*Dream walks off, muttering to himself as the scene comes to a close.*
He has traveled from afar to give hope to New Edge Wrestling!
He has fought across the world, spreading a message of peace, love, and responsible recreational drug use! (Ed. note: Check on this)
He is the man who needs no introduction, making this entire thing a waste of time!
He is the hero that NEW never knew it might someday probably need in the distant future, maybe!
The hero of the battered, bruised, and belittled!
The Pesticidal, Spermacidal, School Recital Madman!
(Unofficially) Al Envy's favorite wrestler and Man Crush!
He is.....
THE DREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAMM!
*From out of a giant cloud of smoke comes The Dream, coughing a bit as he stumbles around. His eyes are a little bloodshot, but other than that he seems alright. Key word being "seems", since no one is ever really sure if The Dream is alright.
Dream continues coughing before looking up, noticing the camera on him. Dream stifles a cough before looking around, as if searching for a plausible explanation. After a few seconds, Dream clears his throat and stands upright, smiling at the camera.*
And that, folks, is why you should be careful when dealing with fire! Because it could get out of hand and you end up with smoke everywhere!
..... Yeah, yeah that sounds believable.
Now, this is for the, the NEW, correct? The one with the King Shit of Fuck All Mountain and the Sasha girl and my man crush Al Envy? Good, good, almost got initials mixed up. That's what happens when you smo- WRESTLE FOR OTHER PROMOTIONS. Um, so.... introductions! Right!
Well, like the mystical voice over said, I am The Dream! The Inspiration to the US Nation! That El Sueño bloke from South London! And after a somewhat successful career and a short stint as King of Television, I have found my way to the land where a handsome masked individual can succeed, which is perfect! Why, a simple bloke from South London who is supported by Nicaragua and fights for America and its territories fits in perfectly here!
Now, it's no secret that your hero and mine has been a force of nature on the twitter machine. Why, I've made friends with Ruthann, became a MadiFriend, shared a mutual, totally normal and healthy appreciation for Al Envy's looks, and even fought against the evil known as #MaskedDiscrimination! What's that you say? Masked Discrimination? Whell let me learn ya something today! Ol' Sasha wasn't too big on this prime cut of beefcake you see before you, even going so far as to insult my mask! My beautiful mask! I was nothing but polite and flirtatious, and yet I had to fight against #MaskedDiscrimination not just for myself, but for the people who see this mask as a symbol of hope and inspiration! Now Sasha and I are cool, which goes to show what positivity can do! Dream 1, Masked Discrimination 0!
But, I digress. This isn't about me fighting against the tyranny of evil, mask-hating individuals who are trying to keep a hard-working American citizen down. No no no, this is about El Sueño stepping onto the big stage and getting the respect and admiration that, if I can be humble, I deserve! Not only that, but a bigger stage means a bigger platform to spread my message to the masses! They too should be told to believe in their dreams, to keep on dreaming, because it is the dreamers who have shaped this great nation! Men dreamed of flying, of sailing, of inventing things so that our lives could be easier! Could you imagine life without the cotton gin? The microwave? THE THONG?! The thong, people! Not only does it look good on women, but did you ever notice how you don't see too many panty lines when ladies wear yoga pants? THE THONG! Courtesy of those who dared to dream!
And at Demented, those dreamers find another source of inspiration! Because yours truly will make his long-awaited debut in the scramble match for the briefcase, giving me a shot at whatever title I like! Well, not the Heavyweight Title, but still! The Dream could get a guaranteed title shot in his first match, and considering I have the support of America by my side, there's not a doubt in the mind of The Dream that this match will result in victory! Why? Glad you asked, hypothetical viewer!
1. I want to win. It's a well-known fact that those who want to win have a higher percent of winning over those that don't. Something about desire and determination, but it all boils down to I want to win. People like winners.
2. I don't want to lose. Like I said, people like winners. Losers.... not so much. Look at the football teams if you don't believe me. There used to be a time when you could freely admit that you rooted for a team. Nowadays, it takes courage and brass ones to say you like the Jets. Or the Giants. Way to shit the bed, Eli.
3. Experience! Why, I once competed in a three hour spelling bee at the local community college, despite not being enrolled. And while the records of that event have yet to be made public after I sued them, just know I was super close. If they wanted me to say the "l" in "qualm", they would have pronounced it! They resorted to trickery, and in Dream's America, we believe in honesty and fair play!
4. ... I forget four. But it was good!
5. Would this be four by proxy? I'm calling it five. And number five is Uncertainty! I have no idea what I'm gonna do out there. It's not like this is planned or anything, because that would be silly. Nope, I've got the edge on Dallas Maverick and Moshpit, because The Dream is a jack of all trades! A little bit of the ultraviolence, some subterfuge, a surprising knowledge of technical wrestling, and perhaps some Les Kellet thrown in for the laughs.
I remember four! It was The People! Yep, though I may appear a newcomer, the people love The Dream! I personally believe it's because of my sweet, sweet dance moves and the mask. Believe you me, brother, the mask is gold. And my dance moves? Second to none! And with these two special ingredients in the Appletini of Awesome that is The Dream, I fight for the people!
So come Demented, we will all be part of the NEW family! Most of you I don't know, so that's most of my family anyways, Jodie will be the cute cousin I have funny feelings for, same with Sasha I suppose, and I'll be that kid who's hopped up on waaaaaaaay too much sugar and caffeine!
Just like my family across the pond.
So let's tango, boys! For America, for the people, for, um... damn. I always forget the third thing.
*Dream walks off, muttering to himself as the scene comes to a close.*