Post by Deleted on May 9, 2015 21:07:53 GMT -6
Andy Dirks: Welcome back to the second ever edition of Lights Out. We have a match that many of our fans have been looking forward to and that is the semi final of the Television Title tournament. We have Rob Riot facing off against the newcomer Malloy. Rob has been on a roll with a big win over Ralphie last week and Malloy defeated Jon Tolley to advance.
Clark Benson: Earlier tonight we saw a confrontation between Hunter Valentyne and Rob Riot. It took security to pull them apart which should make things very interesting moving forward. It makes me wonder if Hunter is going to be a man of his word and not interfere in this match.
Andy Dirks: Hunter is a cretin who does not deserve to be in a New Edge ring but we will see him later in a match with the wife of New Edge Owner and possibly the next Trans Atlantic Champion Scarlet Styles. Both men have their work cut out for them to get to the finals.
Clark Benson: Nothing had better happen to Scarlet Styles in that match or there will be hell to pay from Jesse Styles. You do not cross the boss and Hunter has made it a habit over his career to do just that. But that match will be later right now we have Rob Riot facing off against Malloy. Malloy was very impressive in his debut against Tolley and Rob Riot dominated against Ralphie. This match could be very interesting.
Shish I'm Ballin!!!!!!!!!!! So Awesome by Sly Glizzy plays on the PA system and Ralphie comes walking out into the arena dancing to the beat of the music. The crowd is getting into it as they are cheering for Ralphie but not too much because he is a dork after all. He is wearing his official Diablo 3 t shirt and sweats. He is raising his hands in the air and the crowd is raising them with him. Ralphie stands on the second rope pointing out the the crowd and they are digging it.
Clark Benson: What the hell is that nerd doing out here? He has no business out here and I will be damned if I allow that shit to happen. He lost to Riot last week and is not going to interfere in this important match up.
Andy Dirks: But it is okay for Al Envy to interfere in every other match on the card?
Clark Benson: I did not say that.
Ralphie sits down at the announce table with the headsets on to call this important Television title match. Clark looks a little less than impressed with his appearance as if Ralphie even noticed or pretended not to notice.
Ralphie: The Ralphie has returned. This shit is better than The Empire Strikes back. The sequel is better than the original.
Andy Dirks: The Empire Strikes Back is not better than Star Wars. Star Wars was superior in every way.
Ralphie: Silence Lady Agudola. The Ralphie was speaking. Do not interrupt me again. I am here to watch Malloy get his ass kicked by Rob Riot.
Clark Benson: You mean like you did last week?
Ralphie: Silence wookie. We do not hear your grunts and growls here on this show.
The imperial March begins and out from the back in full Sith Robes walks Malloy. At the top of the ramp he lights his light up lightsaber and does some cool nerdy lightsaber tricks before turning it off and placing it on his belt and walking to the ring. He goes up the steps, slips under the middle rope and then lights his lightsaber again, doing more nerdy lightsaber tricks.
Clark Benson: Malloy seems to be ready for this challenge. Maybe if you were ready for the challenge you would not have gotten your little ass handed to you last week.
Ralphie: The Ralphie is up for any challenge. Do not make me bring out Clone Envy to smack the piss out of you.
Clark Benson: LIke you would.
Ralphie: Do not test The Ralphie.
Clark Benson: Now we have Rob RIot who looks to be getting on a serious roll heading into a confrontation with Hunter Valentyne at Justice. He was released from a mental institution earlier this week.
Riot waits until half way through the first verse of his entrance music before he sneaks through the curtains, arms outstretched, inviting the crowd to react one way or another. He nods his approval, and slicks back his hair, turning around slowly on the ramp to allow everyone a good look at his black, silk ring robe.
From there, his eyes are fixed only on his opponent as he walks down the ramp, one arm raised in the air as if he's already won, pausing only to slap hands with a few fans at ringside before he enters the ring and mounts the turnbuckles, pointing first at the fans and then at himself, and then jumping down to start the match.
Clark Benson: Now we are ready to start this match as the bell has rung. Malloy is starting out the match on his bicycle as Riot is stalking him.
Ralphie: Shut up Clark. PREPARE FOR MORTAL KOMBAT!!!!! FIGHT!
Lilly: Your mortal Combat voice is pretty cool.
Ralphie: You damned right the Ralphie’s Mortal Kombat voice is cool. Everything the Ralphie does is awesome as hell.
Clark Benson: I am curious how long did it take to clean yourself up after you shit yourself at the Skywalker Ranch? I mean you looked like a total idiot.
Andy Dirks: It looks like Rob Riot is taking control of this match after he finally caught up to Malloy. Rob has Malloy in the corner and is laying in the knife edge chops to the chest. He might cave in poor Malloy’s chest.
Ralphie: Malloy is in trouble? The Ralphie will have to do something…
Straightjacket Supermodel by Eve to Adam plays over the loud speakers as Hunter makes his way down the ramp to a chorus of boos. He stops in the middle of the ramp as green and black pyros go off behind him. Hunter walks to the announce table and sits next to The Ralphie.
Hunter Valentyne: you are going to sit down and shut up before I beat the shit out of you. You make one move to that ring I will fuck you up. Now be a good boy and try not to piss me off on my show.
Clark Benson: This is not your show as you call it.
Hunter Valentyne: You God Damned right it is my show just as this has been my company for years. I will prove that once again when I smack the shit out of The over rated wife of Jesse Styles. But for now I am doing a little scouting and making sure Ralphie Boy here does not do anything stupid like cost Mister Riot his match. I beleieve in a fair and even playing field.
Andy Dirks: Since when?
Hunter Valentyne: SInce now you dumb fuck. You are in this position because I put this place on the map making a place you would be willing to take a shot in the mouth to get a job for. Now since neither one of you idiots know the first thing about this business I will call this match and the three of you are going to shut your ignorant mouths.
Ralphie: Seriously could someone shut this guy up? He is boring us all to death!
Andy Dirks: I have a job to do and I am doing it.
Hunter: Fucker your job is to shut up.
Clark Benson: We have Rob Riot in the ring who is apparently distracted by your appearance as if that was not your intention. IS that the only reason you are out here? To Cost Riot the match?
Hunter Valentyne: Stupid shit like that is the reason your ass was replaced by a porn star on Ignite. This is simple training for Mister Riot since he is a loser and needs to learn a few things before stepping into the ring with me. The first lesson is to focus on the task at hand and not worry about your surroundings. Focus on getting the win and not on the ass kicking that is coming in the very near future. No Cluck I am not here to cost Riot anything. Why the hell would I?
Clark Benson: Because you hate the man!
Hunter: Exactly. I will get him in the ring at the next show for the Television Title and embarrass him before I embarrass him again at Justice. I finally get to shut his damned mouth after months of confinement. I am making sure Ralphie does not do anything stupid up in this bitch. But it looks like Mister Riot has his hands full with Malloy. Personally I would be smacking the shit out of that fucking nerd.
Andy Dirks: Malloy is really getting the offense in on Riot. He has hit a couple of open handed slaps to the chest and a few stomp for good measure. Malloy is definitely putting up a good fight in the ring this evening.
Hunter Valentyne: This is for the right to have a match for the Television Title. I will make my first title defense next week.
Andy Dirks: You are not the Television Champion.
Hunter Valentyne: As far as I am concerned I am.
Clark Benson: Now It looks like Malloy is going for a huge move off of the top rope. Malloy is diving off for a spear that Rob Riot has turned into a powerslam. Malloy is in big time trouble now. Rob looks to be a little hurt himself from the move. The referee is tolling the count and they are both up at seven.
Andy Dirks: Malloy can do this. He is not out of it yet.
Clark Benson: Malloy went for a big right hands and Rob countered it nicely into a discuss punch to the face. What an impressive move by the man from Blackpool. Riot looks to be in total control of the match as Malloy is on the mat grimacing in pain. Riot signals for the end of the match with a big time move. It looks like the Riot Rack is on the way. Riot has him up but Malloy counters it into a sunset flip. Malloy could pull this shit off!
Andy Dirks: ALmost! Malloy almost did it!
Clark Benson: Riot is on the defensive now as Malloy is feeling it right now. A couple of nice kicks to the face followed by a leg lariat is leaving Riot on the defensive. Malloy comes off of the rope with a flying cross body. But no Rob catches him like a punt in football and hoists him onto his shoulders. What a show of strength! Riot has him and drops him across his shoulders. RIOT RACK has just happened. The referee drops to his knees.
Referee: 1..2..3!
Clark Benson: The winner of this match and moving onto the finals of the TV Title tournament is Rob Riot.
Hunter Valentyne: Come on guys he did a hell of a job beating a skinny ass nerd. Seems to be all he can beat anymore. He deserves a standing ovation.
Hunter stands on top of the announce table mockingly giving Rob a stand ovation and a thumbs up. Rob glares at Hunter with a look that could kill if he got his way. Of course the smile never leaves the face of the Myth Killer as we go to commercial break.
Clark Benson: Earlier tonight we saw a confrontation between Hunter Valentyne and Rob Riot. It took security to pull them apart which should make things very interesting moving forward. It makes me wonder if Hunter is going to be a man of his word and not interfere in this match.
Andy Dirks: Hunter is a cretin who does not deserve to be in a New Edge ring but we will see him later in a match with the wife of New Edge Owner and possibly the next Trans Atlantic Champion Scarlet Styles. Both men have their work cut out for them to get to the finals.
Clark Benson: Nothing had better happen to Scarlet Styles in that match or there will be hell to pay from Jesse Styles. You do not cross the boss and Hunter has made it a habit over his career to do just that. But that match will be later right now we have Rob Riot facing off against Malloy. Malloy was very impressive in his debut against Tolley and Rob Riot dominated against Ralphie. This match could be very interesting.
Shish I'm Ballin!!!!!!!!!!! So Awesome by Sly Glizzy plays on the PA system and Ralphie comes walking out into the arena dancing to the beat of the music. The crowd is getting into it as they are cheering for Ralphie but not too much because he is a dork after all. He is wearing his official Diablo 3 t shirt and sweats. He is raising his hands in the air and the crowd is raising them with him. Ralphie stands on the second rope pointing out the the crowd and they are digging it.
Clark Benson: What the hell is that nerd doing out here? He has no business out here and I will be damned if I allow that shit to happen. He lost to Riot last week and is not going to interfere in this important match up.
Andy Dirks: But it is okay for Al Envy to interfere in every other match on the card?
Clark Benson: I did not say that.
Ralphie sits down at the announce table with the headsets on to call this important Television title match. Clark looks a little less than impressed with his appearance as if Ralphie even noticed or pretended not to notice.
Ralphie: The Ralphie has returned. This shit is better than The Empire Strikes back. The sequel is better than the original.
Andy Dirks: The Empire Strikes Back is not better than Star Wars. Star Wars was superior in every way.
Ralphie: Silence Lady Agudola. The Ralphie was speaking. Do not interrupt me again. I am here to watch Malloy get his ass kicked by Rob Riot.
Clark Benson: You mean like you did last week?
Ralphie: Silence wookie. We do not hear your grunts and growls here on this show.
The imperial March begins and out from the back in full Sith Robes walks Malloy. At the top of the ramp he lights his light up lightsaber and does some cool nerdy lightsaber tricks before turning it off and placing it on his belt and walking to the ring. He goes up the steps, slips under the middle rope and then lights his lightsaber again, doing more nerdy lightsaber tricks.
Clark Benson: Malloy seems to be ready for this challenge. Maybe if you were ready for the challenge you would not have gotten your little ass handed to you last week.
Ralphie: The Ralphie is up for any challenge. Do not make me bring out Clone Envy to smack the piss out of you.
Clark Benson: LIke you would.
Ralphie: Do not test The Ralphie.
Clark Benson: Now we have Rob RIot who looks to be getting on a serious roll heading into a confrontation with Hunter Valentyne at Justice. He was released from a mental institution earlier this week.
Riot waits until half way through the first verse of his entrance music before he sneaks through the curtains, arms outstretched, inviting the crowd to react one way or another. He nods his approval, and slicks back his hair, turning around slowly on the ramp to allow everyone a good look at his black, silk ring robe.
From there, his eyes are fixed only on his opponent as he walks down the ramp, one arm raised in the air as if he's already won, pausing only to slap hands with a few fans at ringside before he enters the ring and mounts the turnbuckles, pointing first at the fans and then at himself, and then jumping down to start the match.
Clark Benson: Now we are ready to start this match as the bell has rung. Malloy is starting out the match on his bicycle as Riot is stalking him.
Ralphie: Shut up Clark. PREPARE FOR MORTAL KOMBAT!!!!! FIGHT!
Lilly: Your mortal Combat voice is pretty cool.
Ralphie: You damned right the Ralphie’s Mortal Kombat voice is cool. Everything the Ralphie does is awesome as hell.
Clark Benson: I am curious how long did it take to clean yourself up after you shit yourself at the Skywalker Ranch? I mean you looked like a total idiot.
Andy Dirks: It looks like Rob Riot is taking control of this match after he finally caught up to Malloy. Rob has Malloy in the corner and is laying in the knife edge chops to the chest. He might cave in poor Malloy’s chest.
Ralphie: Malloy is in trouble? The Ralphie will have to do something…
Straightjacket Supermodel by Eve to Adam plays over the loud speakers as Hunter makes his way down the ramp to a chorus of boos. He stops in the middle of the ramp as green and black pyros go off behind him. Hunter walks to the announce table and sits next to The Ralphie.
Hunter Valentyne: you are going to sit down and shut up before I beat the shit out of you. You make one move to that ring I will fuck you up. Now be a good boy and try not to piss me off on my show.
Clark Benson: This is not your show as you call it.
Hunter Valentyne: You God Damned right it is my show just as this has been my company for years. I will prove that once again when I smack the shit out of The over rated wife of Jesse Styles. But for now I am doing a little scouting and making sure Ralphie Boy here does not do anything stupid like cost Mister Riot his match. I beleieve in a fair and even playing field.
Andy Dirks: Since when?
Hunter Valentyne: SInce now you dumb fuck. You are in this position because I put this place on the map making a place you would be willing to take a shot in the mouth to get a job for. Now since neither one of you idiots know the first thing about this business I will call this match and the three of you are going to shut your ignorant mouths.
Ralphie: Seriously could someone shut this guy up? He is boring us all to death!
Andy Dirks: I have a job to do and I am doing it.
Hunter: Fucker your job is to shut up.
Clark Benson: We have Rob Riot in the ring who is apparently distracted by your appearance as if that was not your intention. IS that the only reason you are out here? To Cost Riot the match?
Hunter Valentyne: Stupid shit like that is the reason your ass was replaced by a porn star on Ignite. This is simple training for Mister Riot since he is a loser and needs to learn a few things before stepping into the ring with me. The first lesson is to focus on the task at hand and not worry about your surroundings. Focus on getting the win and not on the ass kicking that is coming in the very near future. No Cluck I am not here to cost Riot anything. Why the hell would I?
Clark Benson: Because you hate the man!
Hunter: Exactly. I will get him in the ring at the next show for the Television Title and embarrass him before I embarrass him again at Justice. I finally get to shut his damned mouth after months of confinement. I am making sure Ralphie does not do anything stupid up in this bitch. But it looks like Mister Riot has his hands full with Malloy. Personally I would be smacking the shit out of that fucking nerd.
Andy Dirks: Malloy is really getting the offense in on Riot. He has hit a couple of open handed slaps to the chest and a few stomp for good measure. Malloy is definitely putting up a good fight in the ring this evening.
Hunter Valentyne: This is for the right to have a match for the Television Title. I will make my first title defense next week.
Andy Dirks: You are not the Television Champion.
Hunter Valentyne: As far as I am concerned I am.
Clark Benson: Now It looks like Malloy is going for a huge move off of the top rope. Malloy is diving off for a spear that Rob Riot has turned into a powerslam. Malloy is in big time trouble now. Rob looks to be a little hurt himself from the move. The referee is tolling the count and they are both up at seven.
Andy Dirks: Malloy can do this. He is not out of it yet.
Clark Benson: Malloy went for a big right hands and Rob countered it nicely into a discuss punch to the face. What an impressive move by the man from Blackpool. Riot looks to be in total control of the match as Malloy is on the mat grimacing in pain. Riot signals for the end of the match with a big time move. It looks like the Riot Rack is on the way. Riot has him up but Malloy counters it into a sunset flip. Malloy could pull this shit off!
Andy Dirks: ALmost! Malloy almost did it!
Clark Benson: Riot is on the defensive now as Malloy is feeling it right now. A couple of nice kicks to the face followed by a leg lariat is leaving Riot on the defensive. Malloy comes off of the rope with a flying cross body. But no Rob catches him like a punt in football and hoists him onto his shoulders. What a show of strength! Riot has him and drops him across his shoulders. RIOT RACK has just happened. The referee drops to his knees.
Referee: 1..2..3!
Clark Benson: The winner of this match and moving onto the finals of the TV Title tournament is Rob Riot.
Hunter Valentyne: Come on guys he did a hell of a job beating a skinny ass nerd. Seems to be all he can beat anymore. He deserves a standing ovation.
Hunter stands on top of the announce table mockingly giving Rob a stand ovation and a thumbs up. Rob glares at Hunter with a look that could kill if he got his way. Of course the smile never leaves the face of the Myth Killer as we go to commercial break.