Post by Deleted on May 16, 2015 10:55:24 GMT -6
The Ralphie is finding it hard to believe it has been five years since getting out of hell. There was no worse experience for the Ralphie than high school. So many assholes thought they were better than everyone else They looked down on The Ralphie and Malloy like they were so much better It was going to be awesome seeing what these assholes had done in five years,
Were they New Edge Wrestling stars? Fuck no they weren’t. Who knows what the fuck they have been up to. The Ralphie hasn’t thought of these prick for years when Malloy suggested we went to this thing. The Ralphie does not celebrate shit that sucks. Is there a celebration for Adrien Specter’s Title reigns? Fuck no there isn’t. But Malloy was insistent we needed to go to this thing so The Ralphie put on his extra special Sith Robes and went to this cock loving festival.
Malloy: You still have no idea why I insisted we go to our high school reunion are you? One day you will get it and thank me for it.
Ralphie: First of all The Ralphie will never thank you for a damned thing. Second of all you are sending me back to hell. Why would I want to relive the worst four years ever? We made straight a’s and were made out to be retards. The fucking jocks who could barely make c’s with help were the retards.
Malloy: You are going to learn from the past and not repeat the same mistakes. We are going to this thing to learn a little something about the New Edge Wrestling Company and how to make things go our way. To say things haven’t gone our way so far is a bit of an understatement.
Ralphie: We both won a match. I am not sure we are that big of failures as you are saying.
Malloy: Sure we can win matches against bigger losers than us, But anyone else and they look at us as the punch line of a joke. The way I see it we have two options. We could be the class clown. The ones they all come to laugh t and make a good living doing it. Or we can flip the script and make them respect us. We made it out of high school and now are on the path to success. I wanted you to see that so I wanted us to go to this shitty thing.
Ralphie: So you are telling The Ralphie that New Edge Wrestling is like High School?
Malloy: Pretty much. Well we are here now! Put on a good face and we will get through this. I think this will change everything for us. We need to realize that once again we are the outcasts. We are the ones who do not fit in with their plans. We need to take those plans and shove them up their asses.
Ralphie: Where is Malloy and what have you done with him?
Malloy: I am still the same guy you have been friends with since grade school. I have just come to the realization that people view us as a running punchline of a joke. We need to change that or we are going nowhere. I mean there is a number one contenders match for the tag titles but we don’t get into that. No we have to face the Mercers. We do not even get a shot. This is how little they think of us.
Ralphie: This is our first tag team match like ever. Did you really expect coming from nowhere and getting our contracts by being punched in the face that they would give us the world? We beat up the Mercer whores and we get what we want. Fuck Malloy you are worse than Sasha Foote.
Malloy gives The Ralphie a look like it was time to go. He had given me the look one time in gym class Senior year and it did not turn out well for either of us. But either way we were here and of course the blonde slut was in charge. She put on her fake smile and pretended like she wanted to see us and we were long lost pals. In High School she would not give us the time of day.
Woman: Ralphie and Malloy still attached at the hip I see. We are so glad you could make it here! I so want to catch up with you two! I married Josh and we have two wonderful children. He is the high school football coach and I watch the kids. It is wonderful.
Malloy: Typical.
Woman: What do you mean.
Malloy: I was talking to Ralphie. This woman reminds me so much of Tegan Taylor. She puts on her fake smile as if she gives a damn that we exist. She wants our 50 bucks and that is it. Where was all of this shit in high school? Her boyfriend and her used to talk down to us like we were nothing. Now we are the big deal and her and her dumb jock boyfriend are the second act. He coaches football and she got knocked up. We are in a high profile wrestling company and on television each week.
Woman: I do not feel like we did that at all. Josh is around the corner at the bar.
Mallot: Of course he is. He needs alcohol to make him forget he was a big deal in high school and nothing but a failure in life. Here let me play something on my smart phone for the two of you.
Malloy was obviously pissed off about something and the Ralphie had no idea what it was. He has had a chip on his shoulder all week. Then he basically made me come to this thing. Maybe it was his loss to Rob Riot last week. Maybe it was the fact we were opening the show and not in the tag team title contender match. WHateer is was he was bound and determined to make these people’s life seem like a joke. He was bound and determined to get revenge on how we were treated in high school.
Ralphie: This has been our dream for five years. To come to New Edge Wrestling and get contracts. We watched Ignite so many times and all of the pay per view events. We watched Johnny/Roger match one and it was one of the best matches ever. We watched the very first Terrordome which set the standard. We watched Envy/Styles. This is what we have always wanted to do. The Ralphie does not think we have gotten off to a bad start.
Malloy: You are right Ralphie. We loved those matches. The sad part is we are never going to be Johnny Styles or Roger Wright or Al Envy no matter how hard we try. They look at us like a joke and that is what we have been. Like I said we can either be the joke or turn the joke around on them.
Ralphie: So if that bitch was Teagan Taylor then who is Josh?
Malloy: Josh is the standard. Josh is guys like Al Envy and Hunter Valentyne and Roger Wright and Johnny Styles. The guys we all wish we were but will never be taken seriously enough to ever be. Let’s face it we were in that TV Title tournament to give Rob RIot or Hunter a free pass to the final. They did not want us to be in there. We were just people to be beaten. And now that we are out of the tournament where are we on Lights Out? Oh yeah not on the card.
Ralphie: We have a match against the Mercer Whores. And we are going to slice through them like a Jedi’s Lightsaber through Stormtroopers. This is where we show them what we can do.
Malloy: Holy shit is that Jennings? Damn that dude looks older than shit. Awww Hell he is coming this way.
The old man comes walking up to us with his hand out stretched. Of course The Ralphie does not forget when he was getting shoved into a locker this old jackoff did nothing.
Jennings: How is it going Ralphie? And of course Malloy by your side as always.
Ralphie: Jennings you look older than shit. Maybe all of that time turning your back while the jocks ran the school took it’s toll eh?
Jennings: All ancient history. I am only here to see the people whose lives I touches.
Malloy: According to the choir that ain’t all you touched. So that is how they hit all those high notes.
Jennings: I have no idea what you speak of.
Malloy: Ralphie do you know who this is?
Ralphie: If you say Jesse I will kill you.
Malloy: You god damned right it is Jesse. Over the years he has turned his back while certain members of New Edge Wrestling run roughshod over the roster. Everyone from Johnny to Roger to Pugh and now Al Envy. And of course Al Envy is getting a title shot. What a shocker.
Ralphie: Al Envy deserves that title shot. He brought the TA Title from shitty champions like Scarlet and Blair Buchanan and made it relevant. He could hold that title as long as he sees fit.
Malloy: I remember when this once proud organization held that title to be dear. Now we have Nikita against Gravedigger for that title. Oh my GOD! And do not get me started on Terrordome.
Ralphie: What is wrong with terrordome?
Malloy: What isn’t? We loved that first Terrordome and now it is a joke. So now we have a qualifying match with four people who should not even sniff the main event at Justice. Were we ever given a qualifying match? Hell no we weren’t because they think we are a joke. They are going to find out very soon the joke is on them.
The Ralphie needs a beer to get away from Malloy. The Ralphie wants his friend back. The man The Ralphie has known since grade school. The man who works alongside of him at the Video store. We got here and he changed. The Ralphie might need to smack the shit out of him to get him back.
The Ralphie was hitting on a hot piece of ass when Malloy came up to cock block me as usual. The Ralphie should be balls deep in that bitch but she walked away. Fucking cock blocking asshole.
Malloy: And another thing.
Ralphie: Shut the fuck up!
Malloy: Excuse me?
Ralphie: The Ralphie did not stutter. You are acting like a little bitch. Crying all night long about this person and that person. Man the fuck up and do something about it. This night is a reminder of what we once were and what we never wanted to be. Since you got to New Edge you have been crying. No one is going to give shit to you or me. We have to take that shit away from them. This is not a light saber fight between Ben Kenobi and Darth Vader. They are not going to shut off their light saber and allow themselves to die. If we want it we are going to have to take it from them. The Filthy Jedi are going to feel the sting of my light saber and FORCE LIGHTNING BITCH! The Mercers are the first to feel the sting of what we can do together. Now man the fuck up and quit cock blocking me.
Malloy: You realize I can kick your ass right?
Ralphie: Maybe you can and maybe you can’t. But I swear if you continue to whine like Hunter Valentyne I am going to smack the fuck out of you.
Malloy: DId you just call me Hunter Valentyne? Oh now it is on bitch!
The Ralphie is standing in his Sith Battle Stance as Malloy comes charging. Fucking Stih Battle Stance is worthless as Malloy speared my into the chest. That shit fucking hurt but unfortunately for Malloy he rolled through the spear and hit his shoulder hard. He was grabbing that shit for all he was worth and not it was time to unleash the force bitch!
One movement and force push behind the bar. Malloy went flying as he was grabbing his shoulder. Malloy was down as The Ralphie took control. The Ralphie pull up his awesome ass Sith Robe and looks at Malloy.
Ralphie: Do you yield? You know the power of my FORCE LIGHTNING!!!!
Malloy: You Wouldn't!
Ralphie: Promise never to be Hunter Valentyne again and I will let you go.
Malloy: Fuck you Ralphie!
Ralphie: Suit yourself.
The Ralphie hits the most awesome force lightning ever on Malloy. The juicy aroma was enough to make Malloy gag as The Ralphie is once again victorious over the evil forces of The Jedi.
Malloy: Fine I yield. You finally beat me down. Maybe we have some promise after all.
Ralphie: Now we need to turn this all towards The Mercers Sisters. They will never know what hit them right Padawan?
Malloy: You ruined a good moment Ralphie.
Ralphie: You are not a JEDI YET!
Were they New Edge Wrestling stars? Fuck no they weren’t. Who knows what the fuck they have been up to. The Ralphie hasn’t thought of these prick for years when Malloy suggested we went to this thing. The Ralphie does not celebrate shit that sucks. Is there a celebration for Adrien Specter’s Title reigns? Fuck no there isn’t. But Malloy was insistent we needed to go to this thing so The Ralphie put on his extra special Sith Robes and went to this cock loving festival.
Malloy: You still have no idea why I insisted we go to our high school reunion are you? One day you will get it and thank me for it.
Ralphie: First of all The Ralphie will never thank you for a damned thing. Second of all you are sending me back to hell. Why would I want to relive the worst four years ever? We made straight a’s and were made out to be retards. The fucking jocks who could barely make c’s with help were the retards.
Malloy: You are going to learn from the past and not repeat the same mistakes. We are going to this thing to learn a little something about the New Edge Wrestling Company and how to make things go our way. To say things haven’t gone our way so far is a bit of an understatement.
Ralphie: We both won a match. I am not sure we are that big of failures as you are saying.
Malloy: Sure we can win matches against bigger losers than us, But anyone else and they look at us as the punch line of a joke. The way I see it we have two options. We could be the class clown. The ones they all come to laugh t and make a good living doing it. Or we can flip the script and make them respect us. We made it out of high school and now are on the path to success. I wanted you to see that so I wanted us to go to this shitty thing.
Ralphie: So you are telling The Ralphie that New Edge Wrestling is like High School?
Malloy: Pretty much. Well we are here now! Put on a good face and we will get through this. I think this will change everything for us. We need to realize that once again we are the outcasts. We are the ones who do not fit in with their plans. We need to take those plans and shove them up their asses.
Ralphie: Where is Malloy and what have you done with him?
Malloy: I am still the same guy you have been friends with since grade school. I have just come to the realization that people view us as a running punchline of a joke. We need to change that or we are going nowhere. I mean there is a number one contenders match for the tag titles but we don’t get into that. No we have to face the Mercers. We do not even get a shot. This is how little they think of us.
Ralphie: This is our first tag team match like ever. Did you really expect coming from nowhere and getting our contracts by being punched in the face that they would give us the world? We beat up the Mercer whores and we get what we want. Fuck Malloy you are worse than Sasha Foote.
Malloy gives The Ralphie a look like it was time to go. He had given me the look one time in gym class Senior year and it did not turn out well for either of us. But either way we were here and of course the blonde slut was in charge. She put on her fake smile and pretended like she wanted to see us and we were long lost pals. In High School she would not give us the time of day.
Woman: Ralphie and Malloy still attached at the hip I see. We are so glad you could make it here! I so want to catch up with you two! I married Josh and we have two wonderful children. He is the high school football coach and I watch the kids. It is wonderful.
Malloy: Typical.
Woman: What do you mean.
Malloy: I was talking to Ralphie. This woman reminds me so much of Tegan Taylor. She puts on her fake smile as if she gives a damn that we exist. She wants our 50 bucks and that is it. Where was all of this shit in high school? Her boyfriend and her used to talk down to us like we were nothing. Now we are the big deal and her and her dumb jock boyfriend are the second act. He coaches football and she got knocked up. We are in a high profile wrestling company and on television each week.
Woman: I do not feel like we did that at all. Josh is around the corner at the bar.
Mallot: Of course he is. He needs alcohol to make him forget he was a big deal in high school and nothing but a failure in life. Here let me play something on my smart phone for the two of you.
Malloy was obviously pissed off about something and the Ralphie had no idea what it was. He has had a chip on his shoulder all week. Then he basically made me come to this thing. Maybe it was his loss to Rob Riot last week. Maybe it was the fact we were opening the show and not in the tag team title contender match. WHateer is was he was bound and determined to make these people’s life seem like a joke. He was bound and determined to get revenge on how we were treated in high school.
Ralphie: This has been our dream for five years. To come to New Edge Wrestling and get contracts. We watched Ignite so many times and all of the pay per view events. We watched Johnny/Roger match one and it was one of the best matches ever. We watched the very first Terrordome which set the standard. We watched Envy/Styles. This is what we have always wanted to do. The Ralphie does not think we have gotten off to a bad start.
Malloy: You are right Ralphie. We loved those matches. The sad part is we are never going to be Johnny Styles or Roger Wright or Al Envy no matter how hard we try. They look at us like a joke and that is what we have been. Like I said we can either be the joke or turn the joke around on them.
Ralphie: So if that bitch was Teagan Taylor then who is Josh?
Malloy: Josh is the standard. Josh is guys like Al Envy and Hunter Valentyne and Roger Wright and Johnny Styles. The guys we all wish we were but will never be taken seriously enough to ever be. Let’s face it we were in that TV Title tournament to give Rob RIot or Hunter a free pass to the final. They did not want us to be in there. We were just people to be beaten. And now that we are out of the tournament where are we on Lights Out? Oh yeah not on the card.
Ralphie: We have a match against the Mercer Whores. And we are going to slice through them like a Jedi’s Lightsaber through Stormtroopers. This is where we show them what we can do.
Malloy: Holy shit is that Jennings? Damn that dude looks older than shit. Awww Hell he is coming this way.
The old man comes walking up to us with his hand out stretched. Of course The Ralphie does not forget when he was getting shoved into a locker this old jackoff did nothing.
Jennings: How is it going Ralphie? And of course Malloy by your side as always.
Ralphie: Jennings you look older than shit. Maybe all of that time turning your back while the jocks ran the school took it’s toll eh?
Jennings: All ancient history. I am only here to see the people whose lives I touches.
Malloy: According to the choir that ain’t all you touched. So that is how they hit all those high notes.
Jennings: I have no idea what you speak of.
Malloy: Ralphie do you know who this is?
Ralphie: If you say Jesse I will kill you.
Malloy: You god damned right it is Jesse. Over the years he has turned his back while certain members of New Edge Wrestling run roughshod over the roster. Everyone from Johnny to Roger to Pugh and now Al Envy. And of course Al Envy is getting a title shot. What a shocker.
Ralphie: Al Envy deserves that title shot. He brought the TA Title from shitty champions like Scarlet and Blair Buchanan and made it relevant. He could hold that title as long as he sees fit.
Malloy: I remember when this once proud organization held that title to be dear. Now we have Nikita against Gravedigger for that title. Oh my GOD! And do not get me started on Terrordome.
Ralphie: What is wrong with terrordome?
Malloy: What isn’t? We loved that first Terrordome and now it is a joke. So now we have a qualifying match with four people who should not even sniff the main event at Justice. Were we ever given a qualifying match? Hell no we weren’t because they think we are a joke. They are going to find out very soon the joke is on them.
The Ralphie needs a beer to get away from Malloy. The Ralphie wants his friend back. The man The Ralphie has known since grade school. The man who works alongside of him at the Video store. We got here and he changed. The Ralphie might need to smack the shit out of him to get him back.
The Ralphie was hitting on a hot piece of ass when Malloy came up to cock block me as usual. The Ralphie should be balls deep in that bitch but she walked away. Fucking cock blocking asshole.
Malloy: And another thing.
Ralphie: Shut the fuck up!
Malloy: Excuse me?
Ralphie: The Ralphie did not stutter. You are acting like a little bitch. Crying all night long about this person and that person. Man the fuck up and do something about it. This night is a reminder of what we once were and what we never wanted to be. Since you got to New Edge you have been crying. No one is going to give shit to you or me. We have to take that shit away from them. This is not a light saber fight between Ben Kenobi and Darth Vader. They are not going to shut off their light saber and allow themselves to die. If we want it we are going to have to take it from them. The Filthy Jedi are going to feel the sting of my light saber and FORCE LIGHTNING BITCH! The Mercers are the first to feel the sting of what we can do together. Now man the fuck up and quit cock blocking me.
Malloy: You realize I can kick your ass right?
Ralphie: Maybe you can and maybe you can’t. But I swear if you continue to whine like Hunter Valentyne I am going to smack the fuck out of you.
Malloy: DId you just call me Hunter Valentyne? Oh now it is on bitch!
The Ralphie is standing in his Sith Battle Stance as Malloy comes charging. Fucking Stih Battle Stance is worthless as Malloy speared my into the chest. That shit fucking hurt but unfortunately for Malloy he rolled through the spear and hit his shoulder hard. He was grabbing that shit for all he was worth and not it was time to unleash the force bitch!
One movement and force push behind the bar. Malloy went flying as he was grabbing his shoulder. Malloy was down as The Ralphie took control. The Ralphie pull up his awesome ass Sith Robe and looks at Malloy.
Ralphie: Do you yield? You know the power of my FORCE LIGHTNING!!!!
Malloy: You Wouldn't!
Ralphie: Promise never to be Hunter Valentyne again and I will let you go.
Malloy: Fuck you Ralphie!
Ralphie: Suit yourself.
The Ralphie hits the most awesome force lightning ever on Malloy. The juicy aroma was enough to make Malloy gag as The Ralphie is once again victorious over the evil forces of The Jedi.
Malloy: Fine I yield. You finally beat me down. Maybe we have some promise after all.
Ralphie: Now we need to turn this all towards The Mercers Sisters. They will never know what hit them right Padawan?
Malloy: You ruined a good moment Ralphie.
Ralphie: You are not a JEDI YET!