Post by Deleted on May 18, 2015 9:47:55 GMT -6
Ralphie: The Ralphie is ready to own some demons on Diablo!
Malloy: Let’s do this!
Both men sat down at the computers, launched the game and went to work.
Ralphie: Rift is open let’s do this!
Malloy: Here we go, I will take the lead and use my stuns to hold them back, you just sit back and burn them down.
Ralphie: Sounds like a plan.
The keys on the mouse click and both men stare intently at the screens in front of them. Screams of pain and the sounds of dying pour from their computers, and both men laugh as they focus harder and harder, the task at hand a difficult one.
Malloy: big pack here, got some blues in it!
Ralphie: Oh shit, WHAT THE FUCK?
Malloy: Where are you dude?
Ralphie: I died and it sent me back to the character creation screen, my character is gone, WHAT THE FUCK?
Malloy: Dude are you playing a hardcore character?
Ralphie: Hell no I don’t do that. Wait, all my characters are hardcore, HOW THE FUCK? YOU SON OF A BITCH!
Ralphie spins around in his chair and stairs at Malloy.
Malloy: I told you not to force lightening me the other night, but no you had to play billy bad ass. Next time you try that shit I will fight back.
Ralphie: You know you cannot kick the Ralphies ass, so don’t even try and be a bad ass!
Malloy: Ryan has been teaching me bro!
Ralphie stands up, grabs his lightsaber off the wall and fires it up. He rushes at Malloy who pushes back from his computer and delviers an open palm strike to the center of Ralphies chest. Instantly Ralphie drops gasping for breath.
Ralphie: w..w..hat the fuck? I can’t breathe, what the fuck?
Malloy: Palm strike to the solarplexis. Instantly drains you of your air and makes it hard to breathe for a few minutes.
Ralphie: Such a dick!
Malloy: I’m the dick? You are the asshole that force lighteninged me the other day.
Malloy picks up Ralhpies lightsaber and holds it in front of him.
Malloy: I may be a padawan, but you are not the master my friend. Now can we put this shit behind us and actually talk about the Mercers for a moment?
Ralphie: Sure.
Ralphie gets himself up onto the couch and flops down, still struggling to get lungs full of air.
Malloy: We have to prove ourselves this week bro, it’s a group of chicks that we are fighting, and if we lose to some bitches then what does that make us?
Ralphie: Bitches, and the Ralphie ain’t no bitch!
Malloy: Exactly, so let’s not have the same shit that happened sophomore year happen!
Ralphie: Fuck you dude that was a big bitch, and she knocked you the fuck out too!
Malloy: NO! I slipped on the wet ground and fell into her fist at a funny angle!
Ralphie: whatever dude you got knocked the fuck out. The Ralphie, well I atleast got a punch in before that bitch knocked me out!
Malloy: Too bad you didn’t force lightening her!
Ralphie: Dude that bitch smelt worse than a force lightening does, wouldn’t have had an effect, besides you were out cold and I didn’t want to kill you.
Malloy: Whatever. Back to the topic at hand, these Mercer bitches they have been doing this for like 10 years or more each.
Ralphie: Do they have nice racks?
Malloy: Are you listening to me?
Ralphie: Um yeah, are you listening to me?
Malloy: Yeah they have big boobs, what does that matter?
Ralphie: I like big boobs man, and now I get to wrestle with some chicks that have some big boobs, it’s like a dream come true!
Malloy: You mean you get to duck in the corner while they beat you up?
Ralphie: Well I could knock myself out like you like to do!
Malloy: Fuck you Ralphie!
Ralphie: No but I might let them! You think they would be ok with me touching their boobs during the match?
Malloy: What?
Ralphie: Not in a creepy way or anything, just rubbing them and maybe a little pinch of the nipple!
Malloy: You are a fucking idiot dude! I don’t know how we have been friends for so long.
Malloy tosses Ralphie his lightsaber and begins to walk away. As Malloy turns his back Ralphie jumps off the couch and swings the lightsaber smacking Malloy in the back with it. Malloy drops to a knee and Ralphie raises the lighsaber of his head.
Ralphie: You want me to knock you out or do you want to fall down and knock yourself out?
In that moment of gloating Malloy lashes out and strikes Ralphie in the throat with a back hand chop. Ralphie falls to the floor dropping the lightsaber and grasping at his throat.
Malloy: Leanred that move from Ryan too. Looks like I am the master now!
Ralphie: Dude!
Ralphie can barely get the word out as he is choking and once again gasping for air.
Malloy: I am ready to fight these bitches this week, just don’t hold me back Ralphie!
Ralphie: Fix my Diablo account dude!
Malloy: Seriously?
Ralphie: Yes seriously.
Malloy: I swear to god you never learn! You can’t take back your force lightening and I can’t fix your account. Actions have consequences bro!
Ralphie: Why you being such a dick?
Malloy: I just want the Ralphie to feel what the Ralphie makes everyone feel with the way he acts. Now why don’t you for a moment take this shit seriously, and actually prepare for our fight with the Mercers, instead of just talking shit at a reunion.
Ralphie: I am serious you dick, I am going to whip those bitches asses and get me some boob feels in.
Malloy just shakes his head and walks off, the frustration filling his face.
Malloy: Let’s do this!
Both men sat down at the computers, launched the game and went to work.
Ralphie: Rift is open let’s do this!
Malloy: Here we go, I will take the lead and use my stuns to hold them back, you just sit back and burn them down.
Ralphie: Sounds like a plan.
The keys on the mouse click and both men stare intently at the screens in front of them. Screams of pain and the sounds of dying pour from their computers, and both men laugh as they focus harder and harder, the task at hand a difficult one.
Malloy: big pack here, got some blues in it!
Ralphie: Oh shit, WHAT THE FUCK?
Malloy: Where are you dude?
Ralphie: I died and it sent me back to the character creation screen, my character is gone, WHAT THE FUCK?
Malloy: Dude are you playing a hardcore character?
Ralphie: Hell no I don’t do that. Wait, all my characters are hardcore, HOW THE FUCK? YOU SON OF A BITCH!
Ralphie spins around in his chair and stairs at Malloy.
Malloy: I told you not to force lightening me the other night, but no you had to play billy bad ass. Next time you try that shit I will fight back.
Ralphie: You know you cannot kick the Ralphies ass, so don’t even try and be a bad ass!
Malloy: Ryan has been teaching me bro!
Ralphie stands up, grabs his lightsaber off the wall and fires it up. He rushes at Malloy who pushes back from his computer and delviers an open palm strike to the center of Ralphies chest. Instantly Ralphie drops gasping for breath.
Ralphie: w..w..hat the fuck? I can’t breathe, what the fuck?
Malloy: Palm strike to the solarplexis. Instantly drains you of your air and makes it hard to breathe for a few minutes.
Ralphie: Such a dick!
Malloy: I’m the dick? You are the asshole that force lighteninged me the other day.
Malloy picks up Ralhpies lightsaber and holds it in front of him.
Malloy: I may be a padawan, but you are not the master my friend. Now can we put this shit behind us and actually talk about the Mercers for a moment?
Ralphie: Sure.
Ralphie gets himself up onto the couch and flops down, still struggling to get lungs full of air.
Malloy: We have to prove ourselves this week bro, it’s a group of chicks that we are fighting, and if we lose to some bitches then what does that make us?
Ralphie: Bitches, and the Ralphie ain’t no bitch!
Malloy: Exactly, so let’s not have the same shit that happened sophomore year happen!
Ralphie: Fuck you dude that was a big bitch, and she knocked you the fuck out too!
Malloy: NO! I slipped on the wet ground and fell into her fist at a funny angle!
Ralphie: whatever dude you got knocked the fuck out. The Ralphie, well I atleast got a punch in before that bitch knocked me out!
Malloy: Too bad you didn’t force lightening her!
Ralphie: Dude that bitch smelt worse than a force lightening does, wouldn’t have had an effect, besides you were out cold and I didn’t want to kill you.
Malloy: Whatever. Back to the topic at hand, these Mercer bitches they have been doing this for like 10 years or more each.
Ralphie: Do they have nice racks?
Malloy: Are you listening to me?
Ralphie: Um yeah, are you listening to me?
Malloy: Yeah they have big boobs, what does that matter?
Ralphie: I like big boobs man, and now I get to wrestle with some chicks that have some big boobs, it’s like a dream come true!
Malloy: You mean you get to duck in the corner while they beat you up?
Ralphie: Well I could knock myself out like you like to do!
Malloy: Fuck you Ralphie!
Ralphie: No but I might let them! You think they would be ok with me touching their boobs during the match?
Malloy: What?
Ralphie: Not in a creepy way or anything, just rubbing them and maybe a little pinch of the nipple!
Malloy: You are a fucking idiot dude! I don’t know how we have been friends for so long.
Malloy tosses Ralphie his lightsaber and begins to walk away. As Malloy turns his back Ralphie jumps off the couch and swings the lightsaber smacking Malloy in the back with it. Malloy drops to a knee and Ralphie raises the lighsaber of his head.
Ralphie: You want me to knock you out or do you want to fall down and knock yourself out?
In that moment of gloating Malloy lashes out and strikes Ralphie in the throat with a back hand chop. Ralphie falls to the floor dropping the lightsaber and grasping at his throat.
Malloy: Leanred that move from Ryan too. Looks like I am the master now!
Ralphie: Dude!
Ralphie can barely get the word out as he is choking and once again gasping for air.
Malloy: I am ready to fight these bitches this week, just don’t hold me back Ralphie!
Ralphie: Fix my Diablo account dude!
Malloy: Seriously?
Ralphie: Yes seriously.
Malloy: I swear to god you never learn! You can’t take back your force lightening and I can’t fix your account. Actions have consequences bro!
Ralphie: Why you being such a dick?
Malloy: I just want the Ralphie to feel what the Ralphie makes everyone feel with the way he acts. Now why don’t you for a moment take this shit seriously, and actually prepare for our fight with the Mercers, instead of just talking shit at a reunion.
Ralphie: I am serious you dick, I am going to whip those bitches asses and get me some boob feels in.
Malloy just shakes his head and walks off, the frustration filling his face.