Post by Deleted on Aug 15, 2019 0:19:30 GMT -6
"Never had a voice to protest"
"So you fed me shit to digest...."
"I am HORRIBLE!"
As the Psychiatric doctor turned away to leave the examination room he ran smack into James Wolf, and James seemed to be a little more than a little put off by the doctor.
The doctor does his best to regain his composure as he gives his diagnosis.
"There really is no way of knowing when or if she'll come out of this. All we know for certain is these are the phrases she keeps repeating."
James then looks around for any of the doctor's superiors, and then throws him up against the wall slipping his hand around the docotor's throat clinching it tightly. We can hear the doctor gasp for air as the glimmer of a smile passes the lips of James. It's our clue this is no longer James who came to visit Mara Wolf. James then gives the doctor a very ominous warning.
"Listen Doc... I don't give two shits what her prognosis is! Make sure she snaps out of it, or else I'll be the one who snaps you in half"
James then releases the doctor, and as he straightens his tie along with his dress shirt, and then he scurries off down the hall way to the point where we can no longer see him.
10:57 PM Wednesday August 14, 2019
The rain was pouring down outside of the mental hospital, and James was religiously taking his time before he had to get soaked on the way to his car. The elevator was being slow but that was nothing new. The elevator finally arrived on the first floor. The doors opened and James walked out. Scanning the area it resembled the Overlook in The Shining more than it did a full functioning hospital. However, James didn't give it another thought as he walked through the adjourning glass doors to the lobby. There was another glass door you had to go through to get to the parking lot, and James could see how hard the rain was coming down. He wasn't going any where any time soon. He was stuck in the goddamn lobby.
Checking his watch it was now 11:04 PM, and he immediately sighed in disgust before just thinking fuck it, and heading out the door to the parking lot. The rain was coming down so hard that as it hit him it stung. It stung bad but he had to fight it off in order to get into his car. A 2019 Nissan Maxima. Or old faithful as he called it. There wasn't much that had changed other than the cab which now had more room.
James was soaked but he had little time to think of that as now had push button ignition, and that saved him a hell of a hell of time. From outside now we could see and hear the rain beating down upon his car. The head lights came on, and it was unusually empty for this time of night. But he pulled out of the parking lot carefully, and drove down the road with his wind shield wipers on full blast. He needed to get out of these wet clothes before he did anything else.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
"Five years Earlier"
We see that James Wolf is in some run down seedy motel, and he is sick of the business. Sick of having his returns delayed when suddenly an idea strikes him. He has no idea if he'll pay for this later, but its a way to extend his career by a few years, and its also a way where he can exist without anybody making any conclusions on what he had become.
He stumbled upon the name Christian Rivers by accident. There was some type of ad on the 700 Club that had mentioned the name, and he yelled out "Fuck you! Christian Rivers" as he changed the channel. He deplored the hypocrites on that channel, and commercials that aired for it only made him even more disgusted. An old man whose skin sagged to the goddamn floor was of no concern or use to any body.
To really pull this off he had to become another person, and make him different. For starters his love of film noir movies would win out over what he normally watched on a daily basis, and he could be the gangster there never was. He would have to wear a voice box, and change his appearance, what could go wrong he thought....
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
"Present Day"
We can see the head of James under the faucet of the shower, and he gets out wrapped in a towel, and then goes in his bed room slamming his door shut. When he comes out he is wearing a green University of South Florida Bull Tee, and a pair of camouflage shorts, but he is in his bare feet as it finally feels good to be clean. His phone buzzes and as he picks it up he sees a transcript of the letter Deacon Horrible addressed to him.
You would think that Wolf would actually be mad, however, as he reads it he laughs maniacally aloud. He is in an empty house, and one might wonder just how that would play on a man's mind, but Wolf was taking it all in stride as he walked down the hall way to his living room, and then he got himself a shot glass and putting it under the sink he filled it with water. Then he gave a big shit eating grin as he addressed one Deacon Horrible.
"I asked you what drives a man earlier do you remember that? Well you're going to get the answers not only you seek but the rest of New Edge Wrestling has sought out. I truly hope you enjoy this!"
Knocking back the glass of water, he sits it on the counter, and then begins.
Fate is the fallacy of which you speak. Any notion that any of us have a predetermined fate,
Just shows the world how stupid we actually are. And in the land of stupidity let me tell you boy.
YOU REIGN AS ITS KING!
Carve your wins in a bed post. Its very easy to destroy such a thing, and then those accolades are lost forever!
However you would not be one to think of other ways to preserve your viciousness. Because when it comes to viciousness...
YOU'RE JUST A WEAK IMPOSTER DANCING AROUND IN A WOLF PELT!
I bet that makes you feel good too. Do you think its actually suppose to get under my skin because if you do then
YOU'RE GODDAMN DUMBER THAN DANE PRESTON
(And that's actually saying something!)
I love your attempt at poetry, but even though it was a decent attempt....
YOU'RE STILL AN EPIC FAIL!
(And speaking of father's where's that old bastard of yours?)
The more I look at those words, the more I think of song lyrics.
Lyrics usually tell a story right?
Well I know what these lyrics say about you!
"THEY SAY YOU'RE GOING TO DIE IN THE RING!"
(by my fists, no matter how bloody they actually are!)
Failure is subjective even you know this. Saying I'm a failure?
Do you really think that did the job?
I HAVE THICK SKIN BITCH SO I'M UNFAZED!
(Sorry, but the truth hurts!)
You know Deacon I can see now why you would never make it in porn!
You might have a universal song to sing,
But your goddamn schlong is so small,
A microscope can't even pick up what's contained behind that zipper!
"YOU'RE NO JOHN HOLMES, UNLESS YOU ACCEPT HIS CAREER AS A FAGGOT AFTER HE GOT OUT OF PRISON!"
Hey! What's the average we're batting here because I'm heading for a grand slam,
"WHILE YOU CONTINUALLY STRIKE OUT!"
(That's your true M.O. bitch!)
"YOU'RE DEFINITELY HORRIBLE, AND THAT'S NO LIE!"
"I ALL READY KNOW BRANDON JIZZED IN YOUR EYE!"
(And I bet it's still sticky when you try to open those eyes!)
"Now you know what a real burn feels like don't you?"
"YOU CONTINUE TO NOT ONLY KNOW, BUT ACTUALLY WILL FEEL IT WHEN I SET YOU ON FIRE"
(That piss poor audience can watch as your skin falls off of the bone, almost like you're a fucking pork riblet!)
"BECAUSE WHEN YOU GO OVER BOARD, THEN I TAKE IT TO AN EVEN BIGGER EXTREME!"
James gets overly excited turning punching a hole in his wall, and then as he stumbles backward trying to regain his composure he loses his place in Deacon's ramblings, and then after while he regains his composure, and then finds his place once again.
We've all ready established what your not,
"THAT'S A THREAT, AND I HATE TO BREAK IT TO YOU, BUT YOU'RE NOT EVEN A GOOD SONG WRITER, MUCH LESS A LETTER WRITER OR A RAPPER!"
"IT'S THE POOR MAN'S KAYNE, LET'S ALL POINT AND LAUGH!"
"Don't have a come back for that one do you?"
"DON'T WORRY YOU'LL ALWAYS BE THE LAUGHING STOCK OF NEW!"
(It's what "LIMP DICK NUMBER ONE" brought you here for anyway!)
Your rhymes are weak, and when you see me tear you down,
"I CAN IMAGINE THOSE TEARS THAT WILL STREAM DOWN YOUR CHEEKS!"
You'll have nothing left but a red face,
Before Brandon shoves his package in front of you in his underwear made of lace.
He may think it's sexy to use the drug GHB while you sleep,
"BUT THAT'S ONLY BECAUSE HE THINKS YOU HAVE A SWEET ASS, AND HE DOESN'T WANT YOU TO MAKE A PEEP!"
"LET ME MAKE THIS PERFECTLY CLEAR TO YOU! I'M THE STORM YOU CANNOT ESCAPE"
(It doesn't matter how many times you've been butt raped!)
I'm the trigger you squeeze but don't pull,
I'm that Desert Eagle who lulls you to sleep,
For when the blast causes an exit wound,
"IT NOT ONLY HITS HARD, BUT IT HIT'S DEEP!"
Deacon acts like he's unbearable, but he only tell's that to himself,
What he is really like is that nerd with a pocket protector,
Getting shoved in lockers because he can't get laid.
He begs Brandon to keep him in a job so he can get paid, but don't let him fool you,
"HE'S A GODDAMN NOBODY! ONLY THE NEXT VICTIM TO DISAPPEAR!"
"AND I'LL BE THE ONE TO TAKE THE CREDIT, BECAUSE I DON'T WANT HIM HERE!"
"HE TRIES REALLY HARD AS YOU CAN TELL, BUT THE ONLY THING HE NEEDS TO DO,"
"IS BE THE DRIVER IN THE SONG DETROIT ROCK CITY, AND THEN HE CAN FOREVER BURN IN HELL!"
"LET ME END THIS AS YOU CAN FINALLY TELL I'VE GOTTEN BORED!"
"TOO BAD DEACON WILL NEVER GET THE PUSSY BECAUSE JUST LIKE BEAVIS AND BUTT HEAD,
THIS MAN WILL NEVER SCORE!"
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
2014
James was also a fan of gangster movies, and he also loved the mob history. Not only did he have to look the part, but he had to sound it too. He decided to wear brown contacts to cover his blue eyes.
It was ripping him apart that he could not tell Morrigan, but he did let Mara known in case there was an emergency, and Rivers had to disappear for a while.
The first time he tried on a suit for the role of Rivers it was too snug, and it was too much pressure on his balls, so he had to pay extra for suits that fit him, and he also had to get there early enough where nobody would spot him. Nobody he knew any way, and that's where the mask came in. He had it custom ordered, and it was perfect because unlike Latex, Silicone would be comfortable, and not hot. He could also breathe, see, and hear out of it. The consequences were unknown at this point, but if it meant that his family could be safe until he had to give up this character it was all worth it.
He was diving into the unknown and he didn't know what results it would produce!
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
"Present Day"
12:30 AM Wednesday
It was still raining, and James was thinking just what he could do to royally pisYs of Deacon Horrible, but not only piss him off but shut his ass up. Answering his letter was the first step, but Deacon would also surely mention his record in New Edge Wrestling, but that was really of no concern to him. This was real life, losses didn't matter. You would have to be really petty to even consider this, and if this was the only weapon of choice he was going to use, he had all ready failed.
Suddenly James all of a sudden laughs at a thought we're very unaware of. It's been no secret that he has doctored footage before and now a "DIRECTOR'S CUT" of Deacon Horrible would be hilarious. Especially in the vein of his first promo. The footage was going to be doctored, and James was going to reveal the footage to everybody. You wouldn't need to go to a threater as when this thing aired you'd either be left speech less, or your ribs would be hurting from laughing so loud.
James heads up to his theater room and cues up the promo of Deacon Horrible, and then he brings out a special machine where he can edit the footage and then show it back to whoever is watching. This machine was price less, and everybody should have one but if they did the power might go straight to their head.
The following plays on the big theater screen. It's a recreation of Deacon's promo. Well, part of the promo any way.
Cum rolls down the face of "Deke" falling down in a sticky goo,
The heat doesn't help matters as it will probably dry, and he'll never be able to wash it off.
Ascension was approaching and it was clear he was not going to be ready for it in the least.
He did not know what was going to happen.
All that was apparent was he was going to be getting slapped around by a bunch of dicks.
Such a thing was something he was not use to happening, but it would be something he would get use too.
The sound as been edited out as two dicks come into the frame rolling on their balls. In one corner we see a picture of James Wolf, but it has been blurred out due to not infringe on copy right law.
In the other Deacon Horrible who was wide eyed bowing down to the two dicks.
The Dick was on the other side trying to signal that it was up to some unholy purpose.
We don't talk about the dick! The dick apparently rules all!
James Wolf was coming off of two losses all ready, but he wasn't concerned with winning or losing. Just pissing off his competition!
Deacon was thinking and hoping this match might go in his favor but unfortunately he had not been around to understand what a bastard Morbid Wolf could really be. Now he was about to find out!
What follows next is absolutely hilarity as Deacon Horrible tries to fight off the dicks in the recreated film, and so far he is losing.
What was once a powerful statement about how choice affects your decisions; was nothing more than a parody to be laughed at by all who watched! Hilarity ensues again as Deacon Horrible manages to fight off all of the dicks until he gets to the important part that contains the next bit about Wolf, and then the film stops and the screen goes dark again.
As the lights come up Wolf stands and then laments his next thoughts.
You know what Limp Dick number one? I'm going to let Morbid Wolf do the talking here since it was his idea to turn your little promo into a Troma Independent film about fighting off dicks!
"Yes I remember NCW, and I damn sure remember you Limp Dick number one, and you know what? "YOU'RE STILL A LIMP DICK, AND YOU'LL ALWAYS BE A LIMP DICK!" "In case it hasn't dawned on you yet Limp Dick number one I really couldn't give a fuck about Jesse Styles! So how about you try something else to get my attention! Psychotic monster of your creation? If he's a limp dick like you are then this match will be a fucking cake walk! Dane Preston, and I will have another day in hell one day where he can't cheat himself into a win, but until that why don't you do what limp dicks do, and
"JUST FACE THE MUSIC THAT YOU'LL NEVER BE A BIG DICK AGAIN!"
"YOU LIMP DICK NUMBER ONE, MUST BE RELATED TO DAMON RIGGS, BECAUSE HE WAS KING OF THE LIMP DICKS! THAT MUST MAKE YOU PRINCE OF THE LIMP DICKS!"
"A LIMP DICK FAMILY. CAN'T BE ANYTHING MORE PATHETIC THAN THAT!"
"Deacon Horrible is nothing to me! I mean let's face facts here sure he had to kidnap my daughter, but you're the man who loves to rape the guy when he sleeps, and then jizz in his eyes while they're closed! That must make you feel special. Hell that must make you feel like
"DANE PRESTON! BECAUSE WE KNOW YOU BOTH LIKE TO FUCK PEOPLE WHEN THEY'RE UNAWARE!"
"YOU REALLY SHOULD PRACTICE YOUR STAND UP COMEDY LIMP DICK NUMBER ONE"
(Oh, that's right! You can't because you bombed worse than Kramer from Seinfeld!)
I guess that's really saying something too. I mean when a man who says the "N" word is more famous than you well I guess its time you better kill yourself!
"AND PUT IT ON YOU TUBE SO EVERYBODY CAN SEE WHAT A LIMP WRIST FAGGOT YOU REALLY ARE!"
(Awe, did I just hurt your feelings in the process?)
"LIMP DICK NUMBER ONE AFTER I GET FINISHED BEATING DEACON HORRIBLE TO A FUCKING PULP HE WON'T BE HORRIBLE ANY MORE! HE'LL JUST BE ANOTHER LIMP DICK LIKE YOU!"
(And trust me after you see the fury I put on Limp Dick number three you'll never go after my family again!")
"LIMP DICK NUMBER ONE, YOUR WORDS JUST GO UP IN SMOKE. MUCH LIKE THE SMOKE FROM THE WEED JOHNNY STYLEZ PARTAKES OF IN EVERY ONE OF HIS PROMOS. YOU WANT ME GONE? HOW ABOUT YOU STEP OUT OF THE SHADOWS, AND STOP BEING A LIMP DICK!"
(That's the real reason why your business is failing, and now you need to sell your investors something new!)
"LIMP DICK NUMBER ONE, DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME SO MUCH! BECAUSE THIS MATCH ISN'T ABOUT ACCOLADES! THIS MATCH IS ABOUT PAIN!"
(And how Jesse Styles will break all the pay per view records that exist out there!)
Because, you better believe me when I tell you there will be destruction, there will be blood, and we will deliver something the N.E.W. has never seen before. You want to see somebody come as close to physical death in that match then tune into the ppv.
"YOU KNOW AFTER YOU FIND OUT YOUR BONER PILLS ARE GOING TO FAIL!"
(That's why we call you "LIMP DICK" after all!)
If I can parody a part of this promo where its so juvenile, and you have to laugh at the fact I'd have him fighting off a bunch of dicks, then it must say something about you huh? Because art often imitates life. And in this case Deacon Horrible,
"WILL NO LONGER BE HORRIBLE! HE'LL JUST BE RESTING IN PIECES AFTER I SEND HIM BACK TO WHATEVER BLACK HOLE YOU FOUND HIM FROM!"
"JAMES HAS GONE BYE, BYE! YOU'RE NOW DEALING WITH THE ONE AND ONLY MORBID WOLF MOTHERFUCKER! SO BRING YOUR LIMP DICK OUT OF OBSCURITY, AND I'LL KICK YOUR ASS SO BAD I'LL SEND YOU BACK INTO OBSCURITY!"
"SEE YOU IN HELL LIMP DICK NUMBER THREE!"
Turning, and sending a grin before he leaves the theater room Wolf gives a thumbs up like he was ready for that all along, and then he turns and exits out of the theater room as we now fade to black.
"So you fed me shit to digest...."
"I am HORRIBLE!"
As the Psychiatric doctor turned away to leave the examination room he ran smack into James Wolf, and James seemed to be a little more than a little put off by the doctor.
The doctor does his best to regain his composure as he gives his diagnosis.
"There really is no way of knowing when or if she'll come out of this. All we know for certain is these are the phrases she keeps repeating."
James then looks around for any of the doctor's superiors, and then throws him up against the wall slipping his hand around the docotor's throat clinching it tightly. We can hear the doctor gasp for air as the glimmer of a smile passes the lips of James. It's our clue this is no longer James who came to visit Mara Wolf. James then gives the doctor a very ominous warning.
"Listen Doc... I don't give two shits what her prognosis is! Make sure she snaps out of it, or else I'll be the one who snaps you in half"
James then releases the doctor, and as he straightens his tie along with his dress shirt, and then he scurries off down the hall way to the point where we can no longer see him.
10:57 PM Wednesday August 14, 2019
The rain was pouring down outside of the mental hospital, and James was religiously taking his time before he had to get soaked on the way to his car. The elevator was being slow but that was nothing new. The elevator finally arrived on the first floor. The doors opened and James walked out. Scanning the area it resembled the Overlook in The Shining more than it did a full functioning hospital. However, James didn't give it another thought as he walked through the adjourning glass doors to the lobby. There was another glass door you had to go through to get to the parking lot, and James could see how hard the rain was coming down. He wasn't going any where any time soon. He was stuck in the goddamn lobby.
Checking his watch it was now 11:04 PM, and he immediately sighed in disgust before just thinking fuck it, and heading out the door to the parking lot. The rain was coming down so hard that as it hit him it stung. It stung bad but he had to fight it off in order to get into his car. A 2019 Nissan Maxima. Or old faithful as he called it. There wasn't much that had changed other than the cab which now had more room.
James was soaked but he had little time to think of that as now had push button ignition, and that saved him a hell of a hell of time. From outside now we could see and hear the rain beating down upon his car. The head lights came on, and it was unusually empty for this time of night. But he pulled out of the parking lot carefully, and drove down the road with his wind shield wipers on full blast. He needed to get out of these wet clothes before he did anything else.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
"Five years Earlier"
We see that James Wolf is in some run down seedy motel, and he is sick of the business. Sick of having his returns delayed when suddenly an idea strikes him. He has no idea if he'll pay for this later, but its a way to extend his career by a few years, and its also a way where he can exist without anybody making any conclusions on what he had become.
He stumbled upon the name Christian Rivers by accident. There was some type of ad on the 700 Club that had mentioned the name, and he yelled out "Fuck you! Christian Rivers" as he changed the channel. He deplored the hypocrites on that channel, and commercials that aired for it only made him even more disgusted. An old man whose skin sagged to the goddamn floor was of no concern or use to any body.
To really pull this off he had to become another person, and make him different. For starters his love of film noir movies would win out over what he normally watched on a daily basis, and he could be the gangster there never was. He would have to wear a voice box, and change his appearance, what could go wrong he thought....
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
"Present Day"
We can see the head of James under the faucet of the shower, and he gets out wrapped in a towel, and then goes in his bed room slamming his door shut. When he comes out he is wearing a green University of South Florida Bull Tee, and a pair of camouflage shorts, but he is in his bare feet as it finally feels good to be clean. His phone buzzes and as he picks it up he sees a transcript of the letter Deacon Horrible addressed to him.
You would think that Wolf would actually be mad, however, as he reads it he laughs maniacally aloud. He is in an empty house, and one might wonder just how that would play on a man's mind, but Wolf was taking it all in stride as he walked down the hall way to his living room, and then he got himself a shot glass and putting it under the sink he filled it with water. Then he gave a big shit eating grin as he addressed one Deacon Horrible.
"I asked you what drives a man earlier do you remember that? Well you're going to get the answers not only you seek but the rest of New Edge Wrestling has sought out. I truly hope you enjoy this!"
Knocking back the glass of water, he sits it on the counter, and then begins.
Fate is the fallacy of which you speak. Any notion that any of us have a predetermined fate,
Just shows the world how stupid we actually are. And in the land of stupidity let me tell you boy.
YOU REIGN AS ITS KING!
Carve your wins in a bed post. Its very easy to destroy such a thing, and then those accolades are lost forever!
However you would not be one to think of other ways to preserve your viciousness. Because when it comes to viciousness...
YOU'RE JUST A WEAK IMPOSTER DANCING AROUND IN A WOLF PELT!
I bet that makes you feel good too. Do you think its actually suppose to get under my skin because if you do then
YOU'RE GODDAMN DUMBER THAN DANE PRESTON
(And that's actually saying something!)
I love your attempt at poetry, but even though it was a decent attempt....
YOU'RE STILL AN EPIC FAIL!
(And speaking of father's where's that old bastard of yours?)
The more I look at those words, the more I think of song lyrics.
Lyrics usually tell a story right?
Well I know what these lyrics say about you!
"THEY SAY YOU'RE GOING TO DIE IN THE RING!"
(by my fists, no matter how bloody they actually are!)
Failure is subjective even you know this. Saying I'm a failure?
Do you really think that did the job?
I HAVE THICK SKIN BITCH SO I'M UNFAZED!
(Sorry, but the truth hurts!)
You know Deacon I can see now why you would never make it in porn!
You might have a universal song to sing,
But your goddamn schlong is so small,
A microscope can't even pick up what's contained behind that zipper!
"YOU'RE NO JOHN HOLMES, UNLESS YOU ACCEPT HIS CAREER AS A FAGGOT AFTER HE GOT OUT OF PRISON!"
Hey! What's the average we're batting here because I'm heading for a grand slam,
"WHILE YOU CONTINUALLY STRIKE OUT!"
(That's your true M.O. bitch!)
"YOU'RE DEFINITELY HORRIBLE, AND THAT'S NO LIE!"
"I ALL READY KNOW BRANDON JIZZED IN YOUR EYE!"
(And I bet it's still sticky when you try to open those eyes!)
"Now you know what a real burn feels like don't you?"
"YOU CONTINUE TO NOT ONLY KNOW, BUT ACTUALLY WILL FEEL IT WHEN I SET YOU ON FIRE"
(That piss poor audience can watch as your skin falls off of the bone, almost like you're a fucking pork riblet!)
"BECAUSE WHEN YOU GO OVER BOARD, THEN I TAKE IT TO AN EVEN BIGGER EXTREME!"
James gets overly excited turning punching a hole in his wall, and then as he stumbles backward trying to regain his composure he loses his place in Deacon's ramblings, and then after while he regains his composure, and then finds his place once again.
We've all ready established what your not,
"THAT'S A THREAT, AND I HATE TO BREAK IT TO YOU, BUT YOU'RE NOT EVEN A GOOD SONG WRITER, MUCH LESS A LETTER WRITER OR A RAPPER!"
"IT'S THE POOR MAN'S KAYNE, LET'S ALL POINT AND LAUGH!"
"Don't have a come back for that one do you?"
"DON'T WORRY YOU'LL ALWAYS BE THE LAUGHING STOCK OF NEW!"
(It's what "LIMP DICK NUMBER ONE" brought you here for anyway!)
Your rhymes are weak, and when you see me tear you down,
"I CAN IMAGINE THOSE TEARS THAT WILL STREAM DOWN YOUR CHEEKS!"
You'll have nothing left but a red face,
Before Brandon shoves his package in front of you in his underwear made of lace.
He may think it's sexy to use the drug GHB while you sleep,
"BUT THAT'S ONLY BECAUSE HE THINKS YOU HAVE A SWEET ASS, AND HE DOESN'T WANT YOU TO MAKE A PEEP!"
"LET ME MAKE THIS PERFECTLY CLEAR TO YOU! I'M THE STORM YOU CANNOT ESCAPE"
(It doesn't matter how many times you've been butt raped!)
I'm the trigger you squeeze but don't pull,
I'm that Desert Eagle who lulls you to sleep,
For when the blast causes an exit wound,
"IT NOT ONLY HITS HARD, BUT IT HIT'S DEEP!"
Deacon acts like he's unbearable, but he only tell's that to himself,
What he is really like is that nerd with a pocket protector,
Getting shoved in lockers because he can't get laid.
He begs Brandon to keep him in a job so he can get paid, but don't let him fool you,
"HE'S A GODDAMN NOBODY! ONLY THE NEXT VICTIM TO DISAPPEAR!"
"AND I'LL BE THE ONE TO TAKE THE CREDIT, BECAUSE I DON'T WANT HIM HERE!"
"HE TRIES REALLY HARD AS YOU CAN TELL, BUT THE ONLY THING HE NEEDS TO DO,"
"IS BE THE DRIVER IN THE SONG DETROIT ROCK CITY, AND THEN HE CAN FOREVER BURN IN HELL!"
"LET ME END THIS AS YOU CAN FINALLY TELL I'VE GOTTEN BORED!"
"TOO BAD DEACON WILL NEVER GET THE PUSSY BECAUSE JUST LIKE BEAVIS AND BUTT HEAD,
THIS MAN WILL NEVER SCORE!"
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
2014
James was also a fan of gangster movies, and he also loved the mob history. Not only did he have to look the part, but he had to sound it too. He decided to wear brown contacts to cover his blue eyes.
It was ripping him apart that he could not tell Morrigan, but he did let Mara known in case there was an emergency, and Rivers had to disappear for a while.
The first time he tried on a suit for the role of Rivers it was too snug, and it was too much pressure on his balls, so he had to pay extra for suits that fit him, and he also had to get there early enough where nobody would spot him. Nobody he knew any way, and that's where the mask came in. He had it custom ordered, and it was perfect because unlike Latex, Silicone would be comfortable, and not hot. He could also breathe, see, and hear out of it. The consequences were unknown at this point, but if it meant that his family could be safe until he had to give up this character it was all worth it.
He was diving into the unknown and he didn't know what results it would produce!
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
"Present Day"
12:30 AM Wednesday
It was still raining, and James was thinking just what he could do to royally pisYs of Deacon Horrible, but not only piss him off but shut his ass up. Answering his letter was the first step, but Deacon would also surely mention his record in New Edge Wrestling, but that was really of no concern to him. This was real life, losses didn't matter. You would have to be really petty to even consider this, and if this was the only weapon of choice he was going to use, he had all ready failed.
Suddenly James all of a sudden laughs at a thought we're very unaware of. It's been no secret that he has doctored footage before and now a "DIRECTOR'S CUT" of Deacon Horrible would be hilarious. Especially in the vein of his first promo. The footage was going to be doctored, and James was going to reveal the footage to everybody. You wouldn't need to go to a threater as when this thing aired you'd either be left speech less, or your ribs would be hurting from laughing so loud.
James heads up to his theater room and cues up the promo of Deacon Horrible, and then he brings out a special machine where he can edit the footage and then show it back to whoever is watching. This machine was price less, and everybody should have one but if they did the power might go straight to their head.
The following plays on the big theater screen. It's a recreation of Deacon's promo. Well, part of the promo any way.
Cum rolls down the face of "Deke" falling down in a sticky goo,
The heat doesn't help matters as it will probably dry, and he'll never be able to wash it off.
Ascension was approaching and it was clear he was not going to be ready for it in the least.
He did not know what was going to happen.
All that was apparent was he was going to be getting slapped around by a bunch of dicks.
Such a thing was something he was not use to happening, but it would be something he would get use too.
The sound as been edited out as two dicks come into the frame rolling on their balls. In one corner we see a picture of James Wolf, but it has been blurred out due to not infringe on copy right law.
In the other Deacon Horrible who was wide eyed bowing down to the two dicks.
The Dick was on the other side trying to signal that it was up to some unholy purpose.
We don't talk about the dick! The dick apparently rules all!
James Wolf was coming off of two losses all ready, but he wasn't concerned with winning or losing. Just pissing off his competition!
Deacon was thinking and hoping this match might go in his favor but unfortunately he had not been around to understand what a bastard Morbid Wolf could really be. Now he was about to find out!
What follows next is absolutely hilarity as Deacon Horrible tries to fight off the dicks in the recreated film, and so far he is losing.
What was once a powerful statement about how choice affects your decisions; was nothing more than a parody to be laughed at by all who watched! Hilarity ensues again as Deacon Horrible manages to fight off all of the dicks until he gets to the important part that contains the next bit about Wolf, and then the film stops and the screen goes dark again.
As the lights come up Wolf stands and then laments his next thoughts.
You know what Limp Dick number one? I'm going to let Morbid Wolf do the talking here since it was his idea to turn your little promo into a Troma Independent film about fighting off dicks!
"Yes I remember NCW, and I damn sure remember you Limp Dick number one, and you know what? "YOU'RE STILL A LIMP DICK, AND YOU'LL ALWAYS BE A LIMP DICK!" "In case it hasn't dawned on you yet Limp Dick number one I really couldn't give a fuck about Jesse Styles! So how about you try something else to get my attention! Psychotic monster of your creation? If he's a limp dick like you are then this match will be a fucking cake walk! Dane Preston, and I will have another day in hell one day where he can't cheat himself into a win, but until that why don't you do what limp dicks do, and
"JUST FACE THE MUSIC THAT YOU'LL NEVER BE A BIG DICK AGAIN!"
"YOU LIMP DICK NUMBER ONE, MUST BE RELATED TO DAMON RIGGS, BECAUSE HE WAS KING OF THE LIMP DICKS! THAT MUST MAKE YOU PRINCE OF THE LIMP DICKS!"
"A LIMP DICK FAMILY. CAN'T BE ANYTHING MORE PATHETIC THAN THAT!"
"Deacon Horrible is nothing to me! I mean let's face facts here sure he had to kidnap my daughter, but you're the man who loves to rape the guy when he sleeps, and then jizz in his eyes while they're closed! That must make you feel special. Hell that must make you feel like
"DANE PRESTON! BECAUSE WE KNOW YOU BOTH LIKE TO FUCK PEOPLE WHEN THEY'RE UNAWARE!"
"YOU REALLY SHOULD PRACTICE YOUR STAND UP COMEDY LIMP DICK NUMBER ONE"
(Oh, that's right! You can't because you bombed worse than Kramer from Seinfeld!)
I guess that's really saying something too. I mean when a man who says the "N" word is more famous than you well I guess its time you better kill yourself!
"AND PUT IT ON YOU TUBE SO EVERYBODY CAN SEE WHAT A LIMP WRIST FAGGOT YOU REALLY ARE!"
(Awe, did I just hurt your feelings in the process?)
"LIMP DICK NUMBER ONE AFTER I GET FINISHED BEATING DEACON HORRIBLE TO A FUCKING PULP HE WON'T BE HORRIBLE ANY MORE! HE'LL JUST BE ANOTHER LIMP DICK LIKE YOU!"
(And trust me after you see the fury I put on Limp Dick number three you'll never go after my family again!")
"LIMP DICK NUMBER ONE, YOUR WORDS JUST GO UP IN SMOKE. MUCH LIKE THE SMOKE FROM THE WEED JOHNNY STYLEZ PARTAKES OF IN EVERY ONE OF HIS PROMOS. YOU WANT ME GONE? HOW ABOUT YOU STEP OUT OF THE SHADOWS, AND STOP BEING A LIMP DICK!"
(That's the real reason why your business is failing, and now you need to sell your investors something new!)
"LIMP DICK NUMBER ONE, DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME SO MUCH! BECAUSE THIS MATCH ISN'T ABOUT ACCOLADES! THIS MATCH IS ABOUT PAIN!"
(And how Jesse Styles will break all the pay per view records that exist out there!)
Because, you better believe me when I tell you there will be destruction, there will be blood, and we will deliver something the N.E.W. has never seen before. You want to see somebody come as close to physical death in that match then tune into the ppv.
"YOU KNOW AFTER YOU FIND OUT YOUR BONER PILLS ARE GOING TO FAIL!"
(That's why we call you "LIMP DICK" after all!)
If I can parody a part of this promo where its so juvenile, and you have to laugh at the fact I'd have him fighting off a bunch of dicks, then it must say something about you huh? Because art often imitates life. And in this case Deacon Horrible,
"WILL NO LONGER BE HORRIBLE! HE'LL JUST BE RESTING IN PIECES AFTER I SEND HIM BACK TO WHATEVER BLACK HOLE YOU FOUND HIM FROM!"
"JAMES HAS GONE BYE, BYE! YOU'RE NOW DEALING WITH THE ONE AND ONLY MORBID WOLF MOTHERFUCKER! SO BRING YOUR LIMP DICK OUT OF OBSCURITY, AND I'LL KICK YOUR ASS SO BAD I'LL SEND YOU BACK INTO OBSCURITY!"
"SEE YOU IN HELL LIMP DICK NUMBER THREE!"
Turning, and sending a grin before he leaves the theater room Wolf gives a thumbs up like he was ready for that all along, and then he turns and exits out of the theater room as we now fade to black.