Post by Alan Envy on Aug 16, 2019 19:51:50 GMT -6
Previous Friday before Ignite from Iowa
.Chester. So you're seriously leaving the penthouse to me? And you actually trust me to not burn the fucking place down?
Alan Envy was finishing packing all of his business materials into his briefcase and closed his laptop. He was ignoring Chester for the moment as he looked around to make sure his things were all in order. He had heard the question from the rotund best friend of so many years but finally decided to answer it.
Alan Envy: Yeah tubbykins. I am leaving the place to you. I do trust you to not burn the fucking place down, and don't screw up the place to the point the hotel has housekeeping people quit again due to the messes you leave. I'm moving my base of operations to Brazzers Inc. Johnny has way more office space.
Chester looked depressed that he wasn't invited to the new headquarters of Defiance Inc, I mean fuck that was located inside the home office of Brazzers Inc...that would have been a playground for Chester. Alan saw Chester was about to beg but he stopped him immediately.
Alan Envy: No….you can't come. Putting you in that place would be like putting Joe Biden inside a cheerleader convention. Brab ass all day long, and with you way worse.
Chester: Hey I will behav…..
Alan Envy: Yeah no...we both know how full of shit you are. Tell you what ...don't destroy this place and get it condemned… and I'll consider running it by Stylez to let you come. Deal?
Chester knew this wasn't an argument he was going to win. He looked defeated but shook Envy's extended hand as Alan grabbed his things. He walked out of the penthouse that he had been calling his hone office for a few months now and went down the elevator to the downstairs lobby. He greeted a few people wishing him a great day and actually signed a couple of autographs for some marks because he was in such a good mood. He made it outside to his waiting Tahoe and tipped the valet with a massive wad of cash.
Alan Envy: Dude...you know my associate that states upstairs with me right? Keep tabs on him. Let me know who he goes in with and who he leaves with. More money is in it for you after the first report.
Alan gives the valet one of his business numbers as the valet agrees and assists Envy with the door to his vehicle. He puts it in park and heads towards the airport. Destination….Iowa.
Mercy One Medical Center Emergency Room: Hours after Ignite.
Alan Envy paces back and forth in the examining room seething from the events of Ignite from hours prior. He paces back and forth like a caged animal in his hospital gown. His face is scratched up from the assault by Shane Sparx and he was sent to the hospital along with his Defiant partner in crime Johnny Stylez who seemed to be in worse shape in the room a few doors down.
Alan keeps looking at his phone when finally the doctor comes back into the room after Envy has been waiting 4 hours.
Doctor: Ok sir the tests came back you don't have a concussion and the CT SCAN came back negative of any kind of damage
Alan stares at the doctor as he laughs to himself.
Alan Envy: Like I said when I fucking came in here 4 hours ago. What does this hospital charge per 30 minutes? Can I fucking go please? At least can I get dressed?
Envy tips off the apron as he is now standing there buck naked. The doctor turns around but the student that was with him got herself a good look at the chiseled well endowed numerous time champion and co owner of NEW. After a few seconds Ency had his underwear and pants on as the doctor snaps the gaze of the student doctor and they both leave the room. After a few moments a registration lady comes in.
Registration: Hello sir I need to get some information from you.
Envy doesnt acknowledge her as he sees a text from Johnny who was showing Envy his gashes that were caused at the hands of Jesse Styles. Envy reads the text.
"I don't phuckin know what feels worse, Jesse doing this to me or losing to his never has been talented wife."
Envy responds still ignoring the registration lady.
"Wounds heal my dood. A loss to Scarlet that stench lasts forever."
Registration Lady: EXCUSE ME SIR!!
Envy cocks his head to the side amd slowly looks up at the lady.
Alan Envy: Did you just fucking yell at me?
Registration Lady: Well sir I have been spending like the last minute trying to get your attention to get your information. Where I come from that's considered rude.
Envy laughs as he gets up from the hospital bed.
Alan Envy: I don't give a farts fuck how long your fat Iowan ass has been waiting. Nobodies like you that earned their fucking medical and billing coding degree at the local junior college talks to a guy like me. Do you know who the fuck I am?
Registration Lady just looks at Alan Envy. Finally she decided to sarcastically respond.
Registration Lady: Um no sir…..that's why I need your information.
Envy flipped over the table by the hospital bed startling the lady.
Alan Envy: YOU WANNA KNOW WHO I AM!! I AM ALAN FUCKING ENVY, I AM A GOT DAMN LEGEND THAT DESERVES RESPECT FOR EVERYTHING I HAVE EVER FUCKING DONE!! SO WHO ARE YOU TO QUESTION WHO I AM BITCH WHEN YOU KNOW WHO THE FUCK I AM!!
Envy kept going as now hospital security started showing up with other staff members.
Alan Envy: FUCK! I TRY TO MAKE SHIT BETTER FOR EVERY GOT DAMN BODY AND THIS IS THE THANKS I GET? I TRY TO DO THINGS DIFFERENTLY AND TRY TO CONVINCE EVERYONE THAT MY FUCKING WAY IS THE WAY TO GO!! BUT NNNOOOO…….they don't want to become compliant.
Envy's lowered seemed more menacing than his loud voice that drew the crowd into his room.
Alan Envy: Jesse Styles refuses to change…..and neither does Shane Sparx….I know what it's going to take now to rectify this situation.
Envy looks at the registration lady who was very nervous.
Alan Envy: I'm sorry? Yeah I'll pay for this visit out of pocket.
He hands her his credit card as she carefully took it away from him. Alan kept the blank stare on his face as he continued thinking to himself as everyone around started to dissipate from the s ene. His phone buzzed again as it was Johnny telling him he was stitched up and put of there. The lady soon returned with Alan's American Express with his receipt as without looking Envy takes it and puts it in his pocket. He grabs his stuff that he brought with him and leaves the room.
The New Home Office of Defiance Inc. New Orleans, Louisiana
Inside the offices, well the corporate offices, of Brazzers Inc Alan Envy and Johnny Stylez had decided to make what many horny middle aged men and teenagers that frequently jerked off to on a hourly basis in their parents bedrooms believe is the happiest place on earth into the epicenter of the Defiance universe. This was where Alan could now conduct his business accordingly as he co continues in his mind to make NEW great again. To do that though you need sponsors. And what better sponsor could you possibly have than the source of a good hot meals than of so many late night traveling wrestlers throughout history than Waffle House.
Inside the conference room Alan sits at the head of the large meeting table as he goes over his notes. He starts reading the aloud like someone was in the room with him.
Alan Envy: Seriously this would be a great fucking sponsor. Why in the hell has no other company thought about this before? I mean shit how many times have I had to stomach down this garbage because nothing else was opened decent.
Envy winces a little as he leans back. A woman rises to her feet and straightens out her business suit and pulls down her already short skirt trying to make herself look more professional. The lady turns and its Natasha Nice one of the famous porn stars that has been featured on Brazzers for a long time. She looks at Alan with a smile on her face as Envy leans back in his chair and zips up his pants.
Natasha: Anything else I can assist you with Mr. Alan?
Alan Envy: Not at all Natasha. Be a doll and see if my 3pm is here will ya?
Natasha winks at him and leaves the office. The door opens again as a nervous looking geek looking guy in a suit walks in sweating profusely.
Alan Envy: Ah...hello Walter. So happy you can come. And sorry for the change in location at the last minute. I had to um...uproot to a new business office.
Walter extends his hand to Envy who took it. Walter's hand was also extremely sweaty as it grossed out Envy who after shaking walked back to his seat wiping his hand on his slacks. He grabs hand sanitizer and uses it. After Walter sits down Alan sits as well.
Alan Envy: So did you look over the proposition? I tried to lean more over to your side making sure you triple your sponsorship investment. Just think about it, Waffle House who has been such a source of great late night early morning food for professional wrestlers finally decides to sponsor a pro wrestling co.pany, and not only any pro wrestling company….but New Edge Wrestling. At one time NEW was the absolute best there is in the business, and soon under my leadership and ideas it will be again.
Walter's nods as he starts looking through the numbers he had genersted.
Walter: Yeah Alan the offer seems fair, but look….I have to convince a board here that sponsoring your company...because it is an amazing idea for us to sponsor wrestling, but e en then that we can generate a profit from it. NEW has opened and closed, and we still see that Jesse Styles is still co owner of this company. For me to present this proposal I need your word that this won't be another great run then your company closes thing again.
Envy holds up his hand.
Alan Envy: You have my word sir. Don't worry about Jesse Styles because he will be dealt with in short order. He's a damn fool. He has no common sense or business sense. His only success was what he made off the blood sweat and tears of those far more talented like myself and Johnny Stylez for the matter. If he survives physically and that's an if...he doesn't have the finances to continue being a coowner. And the only way a TV deal gets done is through me because no network wants to deal with him because of so many bridges burnt.
Envy taps the desk as Walter processes the information given to him. Envy leans forward in his chair.
Alan Envy: I don't write checks my ass cant cash Walter. Your company become a sponsor, you buy commercial time for our spending TV deal, Waffle House will double its profits across the board. You have my word.
Alan gets up and walks to Walter and extends his hand. Wslter nods
Walter: Sounds good Alan. I like your confidence, and you have achieved tremendous success in your life. You seem like a man that gets things done. I'll take this to the board.
Walter looks over Slan's shoulder and sees a promotional.poster for NEW Ascension. He starts looking at it walking up to it.
Walter: Why does this guy look so familiar? It says he's wrestling you at the show.
Alan Envy: Oh him? Yeah he's no one important. Absolutely no future plans for Shane Sparx. He has the same future cue ball does.
Walter takes a step back.
Walter: Wait….Shane Sparx?
Walter's face is overcome with horror.
Walter: This guy is in New Edge Wrestling??!!
Alan not u understanding what was going on looks at Walter
Alan Envy: For now...yes he is.
Wslter: NNOOPPER NOPE!! DEAL OFF! WAFFLE HOUSE WANTS NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYTHING OR ANYONE ASSOCIATED WITH THAT ABOMINATION OF A HUMAN BEING!!
Envy was taken back with Walter now screaming.
Alan Envy: Whoa bro what's going on here?
Wslter: Fucking Christ have you Youtubed waffle house incident? It's the first fucking thing that comes up. We have lost millions already because of that incident and it's because of THST FUCK AND HOS FUCKING FRIEND. Deal is off Envy. Good bye!
Before Alan could try and stop him Walter was gone. Envy walked over to his laptop and did what Walter said, he YouTube the Waffle House incident.
Seven minutes later Envy sat there seething. He slung his laptop and broke it against the wall. He starts pacing around as he got madder and madder. That mothefucker screwed up a huge sponsorship that was in the bag.
Alan Envy: NATASHA!!!
Miss Nice runs in as Envy stares at her.
Natasha: Yes Alan?
Grab a camera
Natasha: Ohh Mr. Envy… you so have one that could be in porn…
Alan Envy: No you got damn where I need to make a video message .GET A FUCKING CAMERA!!
Natasha runs out of the room amd grabs one that was so readily available. I mean shit this is the home office of the second largest porn site in the world. Natasha begins to record.
You know….all I have done since I bought 50% of New Edge Wrestling is think about how I was going to make it return to the company it once was. I was going to once again shed my blood sweat and tears to make NEW great again. Because you see it isn't different whether it's in the boardroom or inside the ropes. Same principles apply.
I assisted in NEW becoming the global force it became in the early '10's. Guys like myself, Johnny Stylez, Ryan Pugh, Roger Wright, Hazard….you name all the NEW greats and those are reasons why this company was great, and the reason with new additions why it will once again be the greatest pro wrestling company on the planet.
You see though, I thought the only person though that would keep this company from becoming great again was Jesse Styles, because. Y God he made so many great decisions in the past right? But I came to the realization just as I watched a multi million dollar sponsorship just WALK OUT OF MY GOT DAMN OFFICE!....well….honestly before that...that there is someone else that needs to get the fuck out of this NEW, and that's tou Shane Sparx.
Because let me clarify something. If you honestly set back and think of the greats of New Edge Wrestling does anyone really say the name Shane Sparx? Well the answer is a resounding fucking no. You think of Johnny Stylez, and Vanessa. Pugh, XXX, Ricky Cassels….all those names are thought of before Shane fucking Sparx, and you can bet your asses that my fucking name is mentioned before yours too Shane.
Shane Sparx is the forgotten one. Yeah hes quote won unquote titles in the past, but you're the forgotten one. The only time people even remember you is when you show up, and even then they are like oh shit that's the um...Shane….Sparx? Of yeah Shane Sparx!! Yeah hes ok….
Did you hear that Shane? You're ok….and that's all you ever will be. You are always going to be that Shane Sparx guy, while Alan Envy is Al fucking ENVY!! The Lonestar Icon!! The MOTHERFUCKING SHOWSTEALER!! You Shane Sparx will never measure up to my name or FUCKING IMPORTANCE TO THIS GOT DAMN BUSINESS!
I told you once that whenever you not earn a title I would be there to take it from you. I took the Youngblood title you never earned, and at Ascension I'll be taking the Xcore title you didn't earn either. ANIKA….earned it by distracting Blair Buchanan. You're pathetic Shane, and I'm going to show the world how pathetic you are.
In Green Bay, Wisconsin Defiance 2ill take its first steps towards implementing my vision of NEW. A NEW that doesn't include a forgotten pile of garbage who is nowhere good enough or worth the trouble that you are. Trust me boy….I will get extreme, and I will dispose of you and save the prestige of the Xcore title from a spare like you really are.
I assisted in NEW becoming the global force it became in the early '10's. Guys like myself, Johnny Stylez, Ryan Pugh, Roger Wright, Hazard….you name all the NEW greats and those are reasons why this company was great, and the reason with new additions why it will once again be the greatest pro wrestling company on the planet.
You see though, I thought the only person though that would keep this company from becoming great again was Jesse Styles, because. Y God he made so many great decisions in the past right? But I came to the realization just as I watched a multi million dollar sponsorship just WALK OUT OF MY GOT DAMN OFFICE!....well….honestly before that...that there is someone else that needs to get the fuck out of this NEW, and that's tou Shane Sparx.
Because let me clarify something. If you honestly set back and think of the greats of New Edge Wrestling does anyone really say the name Shane Sparx? Well the answer is a resounding fucking no. You think of Johnny Stylez, and Vanessa. Pugh, XXX, Ricky Cassels….all those names are thought of before Shane fucking Sparx, and you can bet your asses that my fucking name is mentioned before yours too Shane.
Shane Sparx is the forgotten one. Yeah hes quote won unquote titles in the past, but you're the forgotten one. The only time people even remember you is when you show up, and even then they are like oh shit that's the um...Shane….Sparx? Of yeah Shane Sparx!! Yeah hes ok….
Did you hear that Shane? You're ok….and that's all you ever will be. You are always going to be that Shane Sparx guy, while Alan Envy is Al fucking ENVY!! The Lonestar Icon!! The MOTHERFUCKING SHOWSTEALER!! You Shane Sparx will never measure up to my name or FUCKING IMPORTANCE TO THIS GOT DAMN BUSINESS!
I told you once that whenever you not earn a title I would be there to take it from you. I took the Youngblood title you never earned, and at Ascension I'll be taking the Xcore title you didn't earn either. ANIKA….earned it by distracting Blair Buchanan. You're pathetic Shane, and I'm going to show the world how pathetic you are.
In Green Bay, Wisconsin Defiance 2ill take its first steps towards implementing my vision of NEW. A NEW that doesn't include a forgotten pile of garbage who is nowhere good enough or worth the trouble that you are. Trust me boy….I will get extreme, and I will dispose of you and save the prestige of the Xcore title from a spare like you really are.
Envy runs his hand across his throat signaling for Natasha to end the recording. There was silence for a few moments as Envy sat there at the table looking out towards the Superdome in the not too distant view from the office.
Natasha: Um….Alan is there anything else I can do?
Envy says nothing for a minute as he then looks at the short skirt of Miss Nice.
Alan Envy: Yeah...lock the door. I need a stress reliever…...you might want to grab something to muffle your mouth...I have a lot of fucking stress to exert out.
A smile comes across Natasha's face as she grabs a pillow and walks towards the door as it clicks when she locks it.