Post by Hunter "By God" Valentyne on Sept 14, 2019 19:50:24 GMT -6
The simple fact of the matter is you were told what was going to happen in Vegas. There was no gamble in what I did to that senior citizen, Joka. I told you people that Joka was not going to beat me. He got out smarted, out wrestled, and out classed in front of the hardcore wrestling fans in Vegas. Chalk up yet another easy victory for Kyle Manson. You might think the powers that be in Old Edge Wrestling would pay attention. Unfortunately they are too busy protecting their paper champions.
I am sure you are wondering what any of that has to do with the company wide battle royal to take place this week in front of the wrestling fans in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. There are championship matches on the line in this battle royal. Winner gets to beat Broke Back Roger. Second place gets an opportunity to face whoever the Trans Atlantic champion is after a true warrior in Scarlet Styles is forced to vacate due to injury. The third place winner receives an X Core title shot against the real paper champion himself in Shane Sparx. That is what is at stake. So the lack of relevance of the champions is quite important.
When this company reopened it’s doors for the ninth time, not one opportunity has been earned in the ring. Broke Back Roger and Hazard were named by Management to fight for the world title based on name recognition from eight years ago. Broke Back Roger won the match and the most meaningless title since Anika Swan stopped being billed as the gang bang queen of Texas. Broke Back Roger went on to defend the title once and have the match handed to him. That is a real champion to be proud of.
Scarlet Styles defeated James Dathan to win the Trans Atlantic Championship at Ascension live from Green Bay, Wisconsin. She has yet to defend it due to injury. While that is unfortunate, it is my contention they probably would have had her defend the damned thing against Joka or someone else with barely a pulse.
Shane Sparx defeated Blair Buchanan for the X Core championship live from Huntsville, Alabama. Once again, not a single match took place to determine who deserved the title shot. They were hand picked by Old Edge Wrestling to keep the 2010 crew on top where they definitely do not belong. He defended the title against a winless Al Envy at Ascension. He defended again against a guy who had one match and is in the worst stable in Old Edge Wrestling history. None of these defenses were against people who had won a match to earn that honor. Shane is ducking serious competition to pad his useless title reign.
This is a history making event this week at Ignite in Toronto. Short of that abortion of a match in which Johnny Stylez defeated Nocturnal to become the Number One Contender to a world title neither guy has any business competing for, this will be the first time true opportunity has been given. You might say the silver briefcase match but that briefcase will be all mine at Cold Front. It was necessary to give the history of these bogus championships to illustrate how little this match means.
Nicole…What are you thinking about? You should be on top of the world after defeating a legend in Joka. I do not understand you, Mister Manson.
Kyle…The guy showed up to the match drunk. He was far from his best. Even if the fossil was at his best he still had no shot. I have enjoyed telling the good people of Old Edge Wrestling the truth. In reality, that is what a millennial does. Some might consider the things that come out of my mouth trash talk. The fact is that not one thing that has been said was not factually based. The information age and the people who believe in it are the rulers of this generation. We live in the age of Google and social media. The information age will turn all past generations into extinct dinosaurs. You know like Joka himself.
Nicole…You do realize that Jonesy is very happy with you right now. He made quite a bit of money on your win against Joka. Apparently no one thought you had a chance of winning. He said half your debt is forgiven.
Kyle…I thought they said you were smart. Apparently you are as smart as the men and women that are going to have their behinds tossed over the top rope by me. In other words, not at freaking all. Do you really think once Jonesy is paid off that all will be forgiven? There is too much money to be made. He owns my brother and now he owns me.
Nicole…I can assure you that I am quite intelligent. Jonesy is a man of honor and will live up to his arrangements. You keep winning and you are free from his debt. He also said that all bets are off this week because of the battle royal.
All bets off? You have got to be kidding me. This is the time to make a killing. My ego got bruised a little bit when I found out that I was the twelfth getting favorite out if nineteen people that are about to know all about bruised ego as well as bruised tailbones. It does hurt a bit when your posterior hits the concrete floor. That is one thing I will never know.
Jonesy…You heard Nicole. With the match that will take place this week, the odds are so low that not a lot is bring wagered. A couple of fins is about it.
Kyle…This is the time to strike. Not one person in this match has the momentum that I have. Each person that has stepped into a ring with me since Ascension has been either tapped out or destroyed. Not to mention I already beat half the people in this match. I won an eight man match at Ascension for that briefcase that Nomad would have you believe doesn’t exist. The fact that my odds are so low means you can wager light and cash in big. But I do have an idea to draw some action for the match in Canada if you are interested.
Jonesy…I am always interested in cash, my brother. What exactly is going through that mind of yours? You are the second smartest person I know behind Nicole here.
Kyle…Do not ever underestimate me, Jonesy. That will be your downfall. Just as it was the downfall of the right stiffs I beat at Ascension. Just as it was what beat Ambrose the following week. Just as it was the downfall of Dane Preston. Last week it was Joka. My brains are what gets me these wins. My brains is what sets people up to look like idiots.
Jonesy…Nothing will be my downfall, Kyle. I hold all the cards and you hold nothing. But I am interested in how you think you outsmarted Joka.
Kyle…How do you think that beer got into his locker? Joka is a weak man. He is very much like that prior generation that I put down all the time. He is a man if appetites and those appetites easily turn to addiction. Jonesy, you know all about addiction. You prey on the weak every single day to line your pockets with their cash. All the while you kill them a little bit each day. It’s a brilliant hustle.
Jonesy…You said something about making money on this battle royal? My guys have pondered everything.
Kyle…Your guys aren’t very bright. You basically put out match ups. The person who finishes higher is the winner for getting purposes. You set the line so you are getting vig on both sides. You publish a parlay card with the choices. This is a sucker bet because more props on a bet decrease the likely hood of success. Much like those other stuffs have a low likely hood of success against me in Toronto.
Jonesy…I like the idea of getting vig on both sides. The parlay card is a wonderful idea. Now if only there was a way to increase bar business.
Kyle…There is. Take advantage of mental weakness. Host a big event the day of the match. Put my victory on the big screen. Simply allow a getting slip to get them buy one get one free draft beer. Like the nasty beer I put in Joka’s locker. It does not take much to gain a profit on each keg you pour. Most vendors would give you a sweet deal. You get them drunk and then they pay for beer and shots all night long. You host the event to get them in the door. You name drinks after the guys I throw over the top rope. Everyone is happy. Either they fluke out and win or they get drunk. Either way you make cash.
Jonesy…How do you know about all of these things? These ideas seem to make a lot of sense to me.
Kyle…To start with, I majored in Business Administration at MIT. Everything was covered there in his to make a business profitable. How to minimalize downside and push profits.
Nicole…How do you know about the booking side of the business? I am positive that was never covered by any professor.
Kyle…My brother covered my tuition. Everything else was all on me. I decided that delivery driving for pizza hut was not what I wanted to do. Uber was not a thing yet but I would not have done it anyways.
Nicole…Why not?
Kyle…I don’t want some smelly jerks that reek of mushrooms and marijuana in my damned car. I certainly do not want anyone crying about being late for work because they failed to properly plan. So I decided to open a bookmaking company. It made sense to me. Sports go on at all times of the year so there is always action. The moneylines make laying off not a problem.
Jonesy…Why? The laying off is what is killing me.
Kyle…I would flip things around on televised games. Kind of like I flip the script on my over matched opponents. Say you have two evenly matched teams. Most televised games are quite competitive. So you make the home team the underdog slightly and make them pay points or vig on a road favorite. Road favorites rarely win outright or cover the spread. Most suckers bet the favorite and the over. Because they want to watch a high scoring game. I take advantage of that and cash in.
Jonesy…You were a hustler like me! Now what about these drink specials?
Kyle…You take normal drinks and add in the name of an Old Edge Wrestler who fits. Like Johnny Stylez would be an Old Fashioned. Tastes like crap. Bitter as hell. No substance to the drink but old people order it based on name recognition and instantly regret it.
Jonesy…How about Roger?
Kyle…The Singapore Sling. It is very unassuming and very smooth going down. It will be like when he faces me in the ring. He will only find out how screwed he is when it is too late. College girls tend to order this drink because it is smooth. There is so much alcohol in it they are done before they even know what happened.
Jonesy…Ani?
Kyle…The blowjob. Does that even need an explanation? Make sure the guests who order it take the shot with no hands. You know like she does.
Jonesy…Brandon Moore?
Kyle…Long Island Ice Tea. Everything is okay to start then when it comes to the end of the drink he is on the floor on his back. You know like his buddies in the Defiance end up being at the end of every match. Have those losers even won a match this month?
Nicole…Shane Sparx?
Kyle…Peach Schnapps. Not a whole lot to the drink just like his lame promos. Just get rid of it in one shot and like his offense in the ring, little or no effect.
Jonesy…Anyone else?
Kyle...Nomad….He would be the ex lax shot because he is so absolutely full of crap. Did he really try to tell people he has been the same dude since joining NEW? You have flipped more times than a pimply faced teenager at McDonald’s during lunch rush. Let’s set the record straight one more time. First you give me the briefcase because you don’t want it. Then you steal it from me supposedly. So you steal things you do not want. That would be like me trying to steal Anika Swan from Broke Back Roger. No one wants that diseased tramp least of all me. I am pretty sure her underwear has dick holes. Then you say you are going to play games with this briefcase you do not possess. Then you ignore your own words and suck off Broke Back Roger some more. I mean I am sure he loved it but still. Cold Front is where you get the beating you so richly deserve. Not to worry, Nomad. You aren’t getting any pity from me in this Battle Royal like you did at Ascension.
Nicole…Do you wish to include anyone else?
Kyle…Nope. The rest are going to get tossed over the top rope as easily as Anika Swan puts out. This match is my opportunity that I have failed against Old Edge Management to get.
Jonesy…Well I have a lot to do to organize for this event. I need to get the parlay cards printed and menus redone.
Kyle…Try to use your brain and not Dane Preston this deal away. Print the drink specials and the ad for the event on the back of the parlay card.
Jonesy…Great idea! But Kyle, I am not the people you work for. Do not ever speak to me like that if you want your brother in one piece. Do we understand each other?
Kyle…Sure thing Jonesy.
Jonesy walks away to tend to his special event as Nicole is looking at me strangely once again. Her eyes are piercing a whole in my chest as she walks toward me. Her look about my choice if words with Jonesy is quite disapproving.
Nicole…You need to watch your words around Jonesy. He is not a man to be trifled with. I have seen some of the things he and Worm have done to people. I do not wish for you to suffer the same fate. You are a decent guy, Kyle.
Kyle…Nicole, you do not give a crap about me. You do not care that I won my match last week in Vegas against Joka. You do not care about the battle royal in Toronto. I am an assignment for you. Nothing more…nothing less. But you do care about one thing. And that is that baby you are carrying. My guess is it is Jonesy who is the father and you are afraid to tell him. Warm?
Nicole…You are wrong Kyle. I know you don’t have any respect for me because you think I am a stooge for him. You think I have no backbone and that I am a coward. I do not expect you to understand my situation. But you are right about the baby. How did you know?
Kyle…Light skinned girls get thiccer when they are expecting. I can tell by your frame and your body type that your behind does not match. I see how you look at Jonesy. Look. I could care less about any of this. Your business is your business. My business is winning that battle royal and beating up all their paper champions one by one.
Nicole…You do not believe me when I say I like you? Well believe this…
Nicole walks up close to me so the scent of her hair lingers on my nostrils. She wraps her arms around my neck and gives me a deep kiss with tongues. There is no way this can be good.
Kyle…My brother is right. Light skinned girls are crazy. You do realize if Jonesy ever knew that happened we would both be dead. So you kiss me and you are carrying his baby. They would never find the body. You are smarter than that.
Nicole…I know. I just wanted to see your reaction. Kyle you claim to be a man without weakness. I saw the look in your eye and I know that you have feelings for me and that is your weakness.
Kyle…It is also going to get me killed. See you in Canada princess.
Nicole…That’s queen to you.
Kyle…Not likely.
I am sure you are wondering what any of that has to do with the company wide battle royal to take place this week in front of the wrestling fans in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. There are championship matches on the line in this battle royal. Winner gets to beat Broke Back Roger. Second place gets an opportunity to face whoever the Trans Atlantic champion is after a true warrior in Scarlet Styles is forced to vacate due to injury. The third place winner receives an X Core title shot against the real paper champion himself in Shane Sparx. That is what is at stake. So the lack of relevance of the champions is quite important.
When this company reopened it’s doors for the ninth time, not one opportunity has been earned in the ring. Broke Back Roger and Hazard were named by Management to fight for the world title based on name recognition from eight years ago. Broke Back Roger won the match and the most meaningless title since Anika Swan stopped being billed as the gang bang queen of Texas. Broke Back Roger went on to defend the title once and have the match handed to him. That is a real champion to be proud of.
Scarlet Styles defeated James Dathan to win the Trans Atlantic Championship at Ascension live from Green Bay, Wisconsin. She has yet to defend it due to injury. While that is unfortunate, it is my contention they probably would have had her defend the damned thing against Joka or someone else with barely a pulse.
Shane Sparx defeated Blair Buchanan for the X Core championship live from Huntsville, Alabama. Once again, not a single match took place to determine who deserved the title shot. They were hand picked by Old Edge Wrestling to keep the 2010 crew on top where they definitely do not belong. He defended the title against a winless Al Envy at Ascension. He defended again against a guy who had one match and is in the worst stable in Old Edge Wrestling history. None of these defenses were against people who had won a match to earn that honor. Shane is ducking serious competition to pad his useless title reign.
This is a history making event this week at Ignite in Toronto. Short of that abortion of a match in which Johnny Stylez defeated Nocturnal to become the Number One Contender to a world title neither guy has any business competing for, this will be the first time true opportunity has been given. You might say the silver briefcase match but that briefcase will be all mine at Cold Front. It was necessary to give the history of these bogus championships to illustrate how little this match means.
Nicole…What are you thinking about? You should be on top of the world after defeating a legend in Joka. I do not understand you, Mister Manson.
Kyle…The guy showed up to the match drunk. He was far from his best. Even if the fossil was at his best he still had no shot. I have enjoyed telling the good people of Old Edge Wrestling the truth. In reality, that is what a millennial does. Some might consider the things that come out of my mouth trash talk. The fact is that not one thing that has been said was not factually based. The information age and the people who believe in it are the rulers of this generation. We live in the age of Google and social media. The information age will turn all past generations into extinct dinosaurs. You know like Joka himself.
Nicole…You do realize that Jonesy is very happy with you right now. He made quite a bit of money on your win against Joka. Apparently no one thought you had a chance of winning. He said half your debt is forgiven.
Kyle…I thought they said you were smart. Apparently you are as smart as the men and women that are going to have their behinds tossed over the top rope by me. In other words, not at freaking all. Do you really think once Jonesy is paid off that all will be forgiven? There is too much money to be made. He owns my brother and now he owns me.
Nicole…I can assure you that I am quite intelligent. Jonesy is a man of honor and will live up to his arrangements. You keep winning and you are free from his debt. He also said that all bets are off this week because of the battle royal.
All bets off? You have got to be kidding me. This is the time to make a killing. My ego got bruised a little bit when I found out that I was the twelfth getting favorite out if nineteen people that are about to know all about bruised ego as well as bruised tailbones. It does hurt a bit when your posterior hits the concrete floor. That is one thing I will never know.
Jonesy…You heard Nicole. With the match that will take place this week, the odds are so low that not a lot is bring wagered. A couple of fins is about it.
Kyle…This is the time to strike. Not one person in this match has the momentum that I have. Each person that has stepped into a ring with me since Ascension has been either tapped out or destroyed. Not to mention I already beat half the people in this match. I won an eight man match at Ascension for that briefcase that Nomad would have you believe doesn’t exist. The fact that my odds are so low means you can wager light and cash in big. But I do have an idea to draw some action for the match in Canada if you are interested.
Jonesy…I am always interested in cash, my brother. What exactly is going through that mind of yours? You are the second smartest person I know behind Nicole here.
Kyle…Do not ever underestimate me, Jonesy. That will be your downfall. Just as it was the downfall of the right stiffs I beat at Ascension. Just as it was what beat Ambrose the following week. Just as it was the downfall of Dane Preston. Last week it was Joka. My brains are what gets me these wins. My brains is what sets people up to look like idiots.
Jonesy…Nothing will be my downfall, Kyle. I hold all the cards and you hold nothing. But I am interested in how you think you outsmarted Joka.
Kyle…How do you think that beer got into his locker? Joka is a weak man. He is very much like that prior generation that I put down all the time. He is a man if appetites and those appetites easily turn to addiction. Jonesy, you know all about addiction. You prey on the weak every single day to line your pockets with their cash. All the while you kill them a little bit each day. It’s a brilliant hustle.
Jonesy…You said something about making money on this battle royal? My guys have pondered everything.
Kyle…Your guys aren’t very bright. You basically put out match ups. The person who finishes higher is the winner for getting purposes. You set the line so you are getting vig on both sides. You publish a parlay card with the choices. This is a sucker bet because more props on a bet decrease the likely hood of success. Much like those other stuffs have a low likely hood of success against me in Toronto.
Jonesy…I like the idea of getting vig on both sides. The parlay card is a wonderful idea. Now if only there was a way to increase bar business.
Kyle…There is. Take advantage of mental weakness. Host a big event the day of the match. Put my victory on the big screen. Simply allow a getting slip to get them buy one get one free draft beer. Like the nasty beer I put in Joka’s locker. It does not take much to gain a profit on each keg you pour. Most vendors would give you a sweet deal. You get them drunk and then they pay for beer and shots all night long. You host the event to get them in the door. You name drinks after the guys I throw over the top rope. Everyone is happy. Either they fluke out and win or they get drunk. Either way you make cash.
Jonesy…How do you know about all of these things? These ideas seem to make a lot of sense to me.
Kyle…To start with, I majored in Business Administration at MIT. Everything was covered there in his to make a business profitable. How to minimalize downside and push profits.
Nicole…How do you know about the booking side of the business? I am positive that was never covered by any professor.
Kyle…My brother covered my tuition. Everything else was all on me. I decided that delivery driving for pizza hut was not what I wanted to do. Uber was not a thing yet but I would not have done it anyways.
Nicole…Why not?
Kyle…I don’t want some smelly jerks that reek of mushrooms and marijuana in my damned car. I certainly do not want anyone crying about being late for work because they failed to properly plan. So I decided to open a bookmaking company. It made sense to me. Sports go on at all times of the year so there is always action. The moneylines make laying off not a problem.
Jonesy…Why? The laying off is what is killing me.
Kyle…I would flip things around on televised games. Kind of like I flip the script on my over matched opponents. Say you have two evenly matched teams. Most televised games are quite competitive. So you make the home team the underdog slightly and make them pay points or vig on a road favorite. Road favorites rarely win outright or cover the spread. Most suckers bet the favorite and the over. Because they want to watch a high scoring game. I take advantage of that and cash in.
Jonesy…You were a hustler like me! Now what about these drink specials?
Kyle…You take normal drinks and add in the name of an Old Edge Wrestler who fits. Like Johnny Stylez would be an Old Fashioned. Tastes like crap. Bitter as hell. No substance to the drink but old people order it based on name recognition and instantly regret it.
Jonesy…How about Roger?
Kyle…The Singapore Sling. It is very unassuming and very smooth going down. It will be like when he faces me in the ring. He will only find out how screwed he is when it is too late. College girls tend to order this drink because it is smooth. There is so much alcohol in it they are done before they even know what happened.
Jonesy…Ani?
Kyle…The blowjob. Does that even need an explanation? Make sure the guests who order it take the shot with no hands. You know like she does.
Jonesy…Brandon Moore?
Kyle…Long Island Ice Tea. Everything is okay to start then when it comes to the end of the drink he is on the floor on his back. You know like his buddies in the Defiance end up being at the end of every match. Have those losers even won a match this month?
Nicole…Shane Sparx?
Kyle…Peach Schnapps. Not a whole lot to the drink just like his lame promos. Just get rid of it in one shot and like his offense in the ring, little or no effect.
Jonesy…Anyone else?
Kyle...Nomad….He would be the ex lax shot because he is so absolutely full of crap. Did he really try to tell people he has been the same dude since joining NEW? You have flipped more times than a pimply faced teenager at McDonald’s during lunch rush. Let’s set the record straight one more time. First you give me the briefcase because you don’t want it. Then you steal it from me supposedly. So you steal things you do not want. That would be like me trying to steal Anika Swan from Broke Back Roger. No one wants that diseased tramp least of all me. I am pretty sure her underwear has dick holes. Then you say you are going to play games with this briefcase you do not possess. Then you ignore your own words and suck off Broke Back Roger some more. I mean I am sure he loved it but still. Cold Front is where you get the beating you so richly deserve. Not to worry, Nomad. You aren’t getting any pity from me in this Battle Royal like you did at Ascension.
Nicole…Do you wish to include anyone else?
Kyle…Nope. The rest are going to get tossed over the top rope as easily as Anika Swan puts out. This match is my opportunity that I have failed against Old Edge Management to get.
Jonesy…Well I have a lot to do to organize for this event. I need to get the parlay cards printed and menus redone.
Kyle…Try to use your brain and not Dane Preston this deal away. Print the drink specials and the ad for the event on the back of the parlay card.
Jonesy…Great idea! But Kyle, I am not the people you work for. Do not ever speak to me like that if you want your brother in one piece. Do we understand each other?
Kyle…Sure thing Jonesy.
Jonesy walks away to tend to his special event as Nicole is looking at me strangely once again. Her eyes are piercing a whole in my chest as she walks toward me. Her look about my choice if words with Jonesy is quite disapproving.
Nicole…You need to watch your words around Jonesy. He is not a man to be trifled with. I have seen some of the things he and Worm have done to people. I do not wish for you to suffer the same fate. You are a decent guy, Kyle.
Kyle…Nicole, you do not give a crap about me. You do not care that I won my match last week in Vegas against Joka. You do not care about the battle royal in Toronto. I am an assignment for you. Nothing more…nothing less. But you do care about one thing. And that is that baby you are carrying. My guess is it is Jonesy who is the father and you are afraid to tell him. Warm?
Nicole…You are wrong Kyle. I know you don’t have any respect for me because you think I am a stooge for him. You think I have no backbone and that I am a coward. I do not expect you to understand my situation. But you are right about the baby. How did you know?
Kyle…Light skinned girls get thiccer when they are expecting. I can tell by your frame and your body type that your behind does not match. I see how you look at Jonesy. Look. I could care less about any of this. Your business is your business. My business is winning that battle royal and beating up all their paper champions one by one.
Nicole…You do not believe me when I say I like you? Well believe this…
Nicole walks up close to me so the scent of her hair lingers on my nostrils. She wraps her arms around my neck and gives me a deep kiss with tongues. There is no way this can be good.
Kyle…My brother is right. Light skinned girls are crazy. You do realize if Jonesy ever knew that happened we would both be dead. So you kiss me and you are carrying his baby. They would never find the body. You are smarter than that.
Nicole…I know. I just wanted to see your reaction. Kyle you claim to be a man without weakness. I saw the look in your eye and I know that you have feelings for me and that is your weakness.
Kyle…It is also going to get me killed. See you in Canada princess.
Nicole…That’s queen to you.
Kyle…Not likely.