Post by Deleted on Sept 15, 2019 11:46:39 GMT -6
YEAR 2039
From the corner of the concrete room, the disheveled and barely nourished man stirred. Half crawling he made his way to the table, the book was back, and he knew exactly what that meant. It was time to read, and maybe, just maybe time to eat. Into the chair he sat, then opened the book and began to read.
CHAPTER 2: KEEP RUMBLING RUMBLING RUMBLING
You probably want to know why I am doing this to you, why would I torment someone so much, just to make them read my stories? Truth is because I enjoy it, yeah if you haven’t worked it out yet, I am a bit of an asshole, people don’t like me, and well I don’t like people. See that is how life works, you either spend it trying to make everyone happy, or you just say fuck it and let people either like you for who you are or hate you for who you are. So I don’t any longer try and be something I am not, instead I am who I am and that’s in most opinions a giant asshole.
See my big return didn’t go to plan, and that’s ok, Dathan knows what is coming. but Nomad got in the way. Look I could be mad about Nomad, but hey, he’s just here for the fight, here to make a point and prove himself, and well, I can get on board with that. Make no mistake though, we go rounds again, different story, different outcome. And even now, I get a chance to show him just how unlucky he really is when we both get into this clusterfuck of nonsense that the NEW thinks is a brilliant ass idea.
Look, someone had a thought, should have let it go, but then forced it into reality. That’s all that can possibly be said about the decision to have a BATTLE ROYALE, wait I mean RUMBLE, because really there is a big fucking difference. That was sarcasm, got it? Good, so check it out, we all enter one by one, I’m sure there is some timetable between when people enter, but I don’t know, shit wasn’t told to me, so guess we just gonna WING IT! Because why not?
SOOOOOOO here we go, let’s get started by saying finishing in the top three gets you a future title shot, great so some fucking retard like Matt Haven could fall ass backwards into a shot he doesn’t deserve. Yep that whiney piece of shit complaining about not getting a push, how people don’t help him do anything to get more exposure could fall ass backwards and stumbel right into being moderately relevant. Not that it matters, all it would do is give a champion an easy fucking win and title defense. DON’T LET THE DOOR HIT YOU WHERE THE GOOD LORD SPLIT YOU FUCKWAD. Get the fuck outta my way!
But don’t worry, some huge ass stars gonna be in the match, I mean we got Kevin Drake...Yeah I said who? Don’t worry you ain’t alone in that feeling, just another clown trying to make a name for himself as he rides the curtain. He’s like number 4 or some shit into the match, NO CHANCE! Hell this could be a fucking competition for being on your back and having your ass handed too you, and he would still manage to fuck it up and lose. OH well though, shit be shit, SOMEONE WIPE THAT TURD OFF THE NEW’S ASS PLEASE!
I’d be the one to wipe that turd off NEW’s ass, but alas I am going to be busy with...Tommy Kain? Nope that dude can’t even get his own stable mates over. Shit he had one job, make sure Johnny didn’t lose to Jesse, and well, guess who won that match? Yep so here we go, one job this week, Help Johnny win the match, we know what’s gonna happen right? That’s right, Tommy will be out long before he even has a shot to help Johnny, even if Johnny were entering right after him. FLUSH THIS TURD, IT’S BEGINNING TO SMELL!
Speaking of turds, don’t even get me started on the mess that is Dane and Allison. EWwwww I love him, he’s an asshole. Get me a beer. The fuck is this? Bro ya got a big titty blonde to love on and you want to drive around like a fucking High School Emo girl and get drunk washing away your woes? How about this, grow a fucking sack and put some balls in it. Or do you like having your wife carry the biggest set of balls in the family? MAN UP OR GET THE FUCK OUT!
Allison, stop crying, you have to fight you girlfriend and her boyfriend, and your husband and your ex who took your flower. I got nothing, seriously, I mean are you a wrestler or a fucking bad lifetime movie? I love him but he’s a dick, and love was here all the time, She’s mine, but he’s fucking her, but I love him, and he’s the man that showed me what Love is. How about we call Felicity Huffman, dye her hair and have her climb into the ring, lord knows she has more of a chance of winning this thing than you do. SPREAD EM! YOUR FAVORITE WORDS THAT ANYONE CAN SAY TO YOU!
Don’t worry though, Hudson McKnight is here to save us. Yep that guy, I’m just gonna call him HM, because when someone tells me how good he is, or talks positively about him that is the first sound that comes to mind, hm. I want to tell you he’s going places, and in a way he is, to the outside of the ring and then to the back so he can watch real talent do something special in the ring. NA NA NA NA HEY HEY HEY GOODBYE!!!!!
Bring on the emotional rollercoaster ride known as James my wife’s dying have pity and sympathy for me Dathan. Fuck out here clown, only thing you are getting is a one way ride over the top to the outside. Maybe next time you won’t take advantage of a fan and then ruin their life by giving them some form of incurable cancer or some shit. Look I don’t even know what she has, just that you fucking gave it too her. DANCE CLOWN, CUZ IT’S THE ONLY SHOW YOU CAN PUT ON!!!!
Hey look Tristan Ambrose is gonna be in this match, 8 seconds, that’s how long he will be in the match. Congrats you haven’t even gotten into the ring for it and you are already eliminated Ambrose, takes real talent to be that fucking bad. Maybe you can cry on someone’s shoulder about it, tell them you tried really hard and you were good enough but some mystical force kept you back, even though you were better. TRAIN BITCH IT'S HOW YOU GET GOOD!!!!
Oh damn, Nomad’s in the match, about the only man that any of us have to worry about. He’s gonna come to fight, and I know just how well he can fight. Look dudes got some talent, we all saw him go one on one with the Champ and they tore the shit down. I ain’t going to say too much about this guy, just be careful he’s the only one who might be walking away with the win other than me!
Speaking of walking away with the win, we have the triplets in this match, Johnny I ramble and yell like a fucking dyslexic retard with turrets, Ryan my time has long since past Pugh, and Roger what the fuck is this dude still doing here Wright. Yep, these fucking retards are still in the NEW stealing the lime light from all the up and coming talen in the NEW. Why don't they just come together and form the god damn NWO of NEW, they can run around painting shit on people and putting themselves over nonstop!!! YALL WERE RELEVANT, 8 FUCKING YEARS AGO!!!!
Don’t worry though, the Cheetah is here. I got nothing, this clown gonna do what he does. But we do have James Wolf!!!! Yeah I sighed hard when I read that too, I want to tell you there was a time when he was relevant, but that time, well um, it doesn’t fucking exist. Look history books are going to tell us all one thing, and that’s nothing about James Wolf. BETTER WRITE A MEMOIR JAMES, AINT NOBODY GONNA REMEMBER YOU!!!!!!
Someone is going to die before the show, that’s because Nocturnal is here, and well he’s a goddamn serial killer, and no one can seem to catch this asshole. I mean every week he be murdering someone, EVERY WEEK!!!! The fuck outtta here with that bullshit. We all know he ain’t killing no one other than his own damn career. Let’s all lower our heads and say a prayer for the career of Nocturnal! FUCK THAT YOU AIN’T WORTH THE TIME BITCH!!!!!
Bring on Blair’s next husband, Kyle Manson! This fucking retarded Hunter Valentyne want to be has half the talent, wich is less than none, half the charisma, which is none, and half the intelligence, which is none. Suck that you want to be a younger version of a clown that couldn’t beat his way out of a wet paper bag. But don’t worry, you can probably slip your micropenis inside of Blair, she won’t even know it’s there! GROW UP SON, EASY TO BEAT A BUNCH OF NOBODIES AND THINK YOU ARE GOOD!!!!!
But I saved the best for last, SHANE SPARX. We are all going to enjoy watching Jarek eat nachos as Shane gets thrown out of the ring like the sack of garbage he is. Yep, been practicing that move, throwing trash into the can, it’s gonna all feel the same in the end. How this dude is still X-Core champ after Brandon Moore beat his ass all over the ring is beyond me, but then those clowns in Defiant or Defiance, or who cares about their lame ass name can’t take a sucker from a kid! FLYING GARBAGE WARNING, WATCH OUT BITCHES!!!!!
Sadly I look at the roster of NEW, and the reality is it’s a bunch of fucking clowns, not a one even deserving the opportunity that I am going to take. Quite the sad state of affairs that the NEW has become. We have a dinosaur as champ, a bag of garbage claiming X-Core, and absentee TA champion, and a roster that inspires the youth of the world to stick their head in a grinder over watching this garbage. Thankfully they have me, COLT to save them all.
The man closed the book, and let out a chuckle, as the foot rushed down the shoot. He scrambled over, and took hold of his meal. Happy that it was a sandwich, chips and some kind of a can of juice. Into The corner he crawled to enjoy his feast.
PRESENT DAY
The motorcycle tore around a corner, and came to a stop outside of a small building. From inside the building stepped a man in uniform. “Welcome to Canada eh, passport?”
COLT handed it over.
“What brings ya to Canada eh?” The man asked.
“Wrestling, gonna take some garbage out!” COLT replied as the mans stamped his passport.
“Well have a fun stay eh.” The man smiled and handed COLT his passport back.
“I plan too.” COLT took the passport, and sped off across the border.
Miles of driving and he came to his first stop, a small little bar in a small little town. With as mile he parked and went inside. He ordered a beer, and took a seat at the bar. Only a few days away and he would be in the ring with the useless whole of the NEW.
“I got what you aksed for.” Came a voice as Shane sat down next to COLT.
“Roger know you are here?” COLT asked.
“Not a clue.” Shane replied.
“Good, doubt he would approve of you being here with me right now. Shouldn’t you be back running his business?” COLT took a sip of his beer.
“Yeah, but look don’t tell me how to do my job ok, you just do yours.” Shane took a sip of his own beer and slid the envelope over to him.
“Next time you want to hire someone to do your dirty work Shane, go outside of network, just a piece of advice, otherwise you are going to end up right back here.” COLT slapped the man on the back and took the envelope.
Outside, COLT climbed onto his bike, and looked through the envelope, all the documents he needed regarding Dathan. The man didn’t even know what was coming. All he knew was that he had been marked, and he didn’t even know what that meant. First the rumble, and then the destruction of James Dathan, the month of September started slow for COLT but was about to go out with a bang!
From the corner of the concrete room, the disheveled and barely nourished man stirred. Half crawling he made his way to the table, the book was back, and he knew exactly what that meant. It was time to read, and maybe, just maybe time to eat. Into the chair he sat, then opened the book and began to read.
CHAPTER 2: KEEP RUMBLING RUMBLING RUMBLING
You probably want to know why I am doing this to you, why would I torment someone so much, just to make them read my stories? Truth is because I enjoy it, yeah if you haven’t worked it out yet, I am a bit of an asshole, people don’t like me, and well I don’t like people. See that is how life works, you either spend it trying to make everyone happy, or you just say fuck it and let people either like you for who you are or hate you for who you are. So I don’t any longer try and be something I am not, instead I am who I am and that’s in most opinions a giant asshole.
See my big return didn’t go to plan, and that’s ok, Dathan knows what is coming. but Nomad got in the way. Look I could be mad about Nomad, but hey, he’s just here for the fight, here to make a point and prove himself, and well, I can get on board with that. Make no mistake though, we go rounds again, different story, different outcome. And even now, I get a chance to show him just how unlucky he really is when we both get into this clusterfuck of nonsense that the NEW thinks is a brilliant ass idea.
Look, someone had a thought, should have let it go, but then forced it into reality. That’s all that can possibly be said about the decision to have a BATTLE ROYALE, wait I mean RUMBLE, because really there is a big fucking difference. That was sarcasm, got it? Good, so check it out, we all enter one by one, I’m sure there is some timetable between when people enter, but I don’t know, shit wasn’t told to me, so guess we just gonna WING IT! Because why not?
SOOOOOOO here we go, let’s get started by saying finishing in the top three gets you a future title shot, great so some fucking retard like Matt Haven could fall ass backwards into a shot he doesn’t deserve. Yep that whiney piece of shit complaining about not getting a push, how people don’t help him do anything to get more exposure could fall ass backwards and stumbel right into being moderately relevant. Not that it matters, all it would do is give a champion an easy fucking win and title defense. DON’T LET THE DOOR HIT YOU WHERE THE GOOD LORD SPLIT YOU FUCKWAD. Get the fuck outta my way!
But don’t worry, some huge ass stars gonna be in the match, I mean we got Kevin Drake...Yeah I said who? Don’t worry you ain’t alone in that feeling, just another clown trying to make a name for himself as he rides the curtain. He’s like number 4 or some shit into the match, NO CHANCE! Hell this could be a fucking competition for being on your back and having your ass handed too you, and he would still manage to fuck it up and lose. OH well though, shit be shit, SOMEONE WIPE THAT TURD OFF THE NEW’S ASS PLEASE!
I’d be the one to wipe that turd off NEW’s ass, but alas I am going to be busy with...Tommy Kain? Nope that dude can’t even get his own stable mates over. Shit he had one job, make sure Johnny didn’t lose to Jesse, and well, guess who won that match? Yep so here we go, one job this week, Help Johnny win the match, we know what’s gonna happen right? That’s right, Tommy will be out long before he even has a shot to help Johnny, even if Johnny were entering right after him. FLUSH THIS TURD, IT’S BEGINNING TO SMELL!
Speaking of turds, don’t even get me started on the mess that is Dane and Allison. EWwwww I love him, he’s an asshole. Get me a beer. The fuck is this? Bro ya got a big titty blonde to love on and you want to drive around like a fucking High School Emo girl and get drunk washing away your woes? How about this, grow a fucking sack and put some balls in it. Or do you like having your wife carry the biggest set of balls in the family? MAN UP OR GET THE FUCK OUT!
Allison, stop crying, you have to fight you girlfriend and her boyfriend, and your husband and your ex who took your flower. I got nothing, seriously, I mean are you a wrestler or a fucking bad lifetime movie? I love him but he’s a dick, and love was here all the time, She’s mine, but he’s fucking her, but I love him, and he’s the man that showed me what Love is. How about we call Felicity Huffman, dye her hair and have her climb into the ring, lord knows she has more of a chance of winning this thing than you do. SPREAD EM! YOUR FAVORITE WORDS THAT ANYONE CAN SAY TO YOU!
Don’t worry though, Hudson McKnight is here to save us. Yep that guy, I’m just gonna call him HM, because when someone tells me how good he is, or talks positively about him that is the first sound that comes to mind, hm. I want to tell you he’s going places, and in a way he is, to the outside of the ring and then to the back so he can watch real talent do something special in the ring. NA NA NA NA HEY HEY HEY GOODBYE!!!!!
Bring on the emotional rollercoaster ride known as James my wife’s dying have pity and sympathy for me Dathan. Fuck out here clown, only thing you are getting is a one way ride over the top to the outside. Maybe next time you won’t take advantage of a fan and then ruin their life by giving them some form of incurable cancer or some shit. Look I don’t even know what she has, just that you fucking gave it too her. DANCE CLOWN, CUZ IT’S THE ONLY SHOW YOU CAN PUT ON!!!!
Hey look Tristan Ambrose is gonna be in this match, 8 seconds, that’s how long he will be in the match. Congrats you haven’t even gotten into the ring for it and you are already eliminated Ambrose, takes real talent to be that fucking bad. Maybe you can cry on someone’s shoulder about it, tell them you tried really hard and you were good enough but some mystical force kept you back, even though you were better. TRAIN BITCH IT'S HOW YOU GET GOOD!!!!
Oh damn, Nomad’s in the match, about the only man that any of us have to worry about. He’s gonna come to fight, and I know just how well he can fight. Look dudes got some talent, we all saw him go one on one with the Champ and they tore the shit down. I ain’t going to say too much about this guy, just be careful he’s the only one who might be walking away with the win other than me!
Speaking of walking away with the win, we have the triplets in this match, Johnny I ramble and yell like a fucking dyslexic retard with turrets, Ryan my time has long since past Pugh, and Roger what the fuck is this dude still doing here Wright. Yep, these fucking retards are still in the NEW stealing the lime light from all the up and coming talen in the NEW. Why don't they just come together and form the god damn NWO of NEW, they can run around painting shit on people and putting themselves over nonstop!!! YALL WERE RELEVANT, 8 FUCKING YEARS AGO!!!!
Don’t worry though, the Cheetah is here. I got nothing, this clown gonna do what he does. But we do have James Wolf!!!! Yeah I sighed hard when I read that too, I want to tell you there was a time when he was relevant, but that time, well um, it doesn’t fucking exist. Look history books are going to tell us all one thing, and that’s nothing about James Wolf. BETTER WRITE A MEMOIR JAMES, AINT NOBODY GONNA REMEMBER YOU!!!!!!
Someone is going to die before the show, that’s because Nocturnal is here, and well he’s a goddamn serial killer, and no one can seem to catch this asshole. I mean every week he be murdering someone, EVERY WEEK!!!! The fuck outtta here with that bullshit. We all know he ain’t killing no one other than his own damn career. Let’s all lower our heads and say a prayer for the career of Nocturnal! FUCK THAT YOU AIN’T WORTH THE TIME BITCH!!!!!
Bring on Blair’s next husband, Kyle Manson! This fucking retarded Hunter Valentyne want to be has half the talent, wich is less than none, half the charisma, which is none, and half the intelligence, which is none. Suck that you want to be a younger version of a clown that couldn’t beat his way out of a wet paper bag. But don’t worry, you can probably slip your micropenis inside of Blair, she won’t even know it’s there! GROW UP SON, EASY TO BEAT A BUNCH OF NOBODIES AND THINK YOU ARE GOOD!!!!!
But I saved the best for last, SHANE SPARX. We are all going to enjoy watching Jarek eat nachos as Shane gets thrown out of the ring like the sack of garbage he is. Yep, been practicing that move, throwing trash into the can, it’s gonna all feel the same in the end. How this dude is still X-Core champ after Brandon Moore beat his ass all over the ring is beyond me, but then those clowns in Defiant or Defiance, or who cares about their lame ass name can’t take a sucker from a kid! FLYING GARBAGE WARNING, WATCH OUT BITCHES!!!!!
Sadly I look at the roster of NEW, and the reality is it’s a bunch of fucking clowns, not a one even deserving the opportunity that I am going to take. Quite the sad state of affairs that the NEW has become. We have a dinosaur as champ, a bag of garbage claiming X-Core, and absentee TA champion, and a roster that inspires the youth of the world to stick their head in a grinder over watching this garbage. Thankfully they have me, COLT to save them all.
The man closed the book, and let out a chuckle, as the foot rushed down the shoot. He scrambled over, and took hold of his meal. Happy that it was a sandwich, chips and some kind of a can of juice. Into The corner he crawled to enjoy his feast.
PRESENT DAY
The motorcycle tore around a corner, and came to a stop outside of a small building. From inside the building stepped a man in uniform. “Welcome to Canada eh, passport?”
COLT handed it over.
“What brings ya to Canada eh?” The man asked.
“Wrestling, gonna take some garbage out!” COLT replied as the mans stamped his passport.
“Well have a fun stay eh.” The man smiled and handed COLT his passport back.
“I plan too.” COLT took the passport, and sped off across the border.
Miles of driving and he came to his first stop, a small little bar in a small little town. With as mile he parked and went inside. He ordered a beer, and took a seat at the bar. Only a few days away and he would be in the ring with the useless whole of the NEW.
“I got what you aksed for.” Came a voice as Shane sat down next to COLT.
“Roger know you are here?” COLT asked.
“Not a clue.” Shane replied.
“Good, doubt he would approve of you being here with me right now. Shouldn’t you be back running his business?” COLT took a sip of his beer.
“Yeah, but look don’t tell me how to do my job ok, you just do yours.” Shane took a sip of his own beer and slid the envelope over to him.
“Next time you want to hire someone to do your dirty work Shane, go outside of network, just a piece of advice, otherwise you are going to end up right back here.” COLT slapped the man on the back and took the envelope.
Outside, COLT climbed onto his bike, and looked through the envelope, all the documents he needed regarding Dathan. The man didn’t even know what was coming. All he knew was that he had been marked, and he didn’t even know what that meant. First the rumble, and then the destruction of James Dathan, the month of September started slow for COLT but was about to go out with a bang!