A journey back to where it began
Nov 25, 2023 5:55:48 GMT -6
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Post by Deleted on Nov 25, 2023 5:55:48 GMT -6
If anyone has been following me over the past year or so, you would know that I have constantly talked about getting back to where I began in order to find myself. Whether that has been in a literal sense in terms of doing a lot more of my training inside of the DVCW dojo. Facilities that I used when I first cut my teeth into this world to remind myself of where I came from and what I had set out to do when I first walked into this world all those years ago. Or in a more metaphorical sense, using it as a device to simply recalibrate my mind and refresh. Realise that sometimes, it is not simply about the end game itself, but the process to getting there and watching everything fall into place.
Assessing everything as its own singular battle rather than being a part of the grand picture. Something that I can admit I have ignored over the years, oftentimes to my own detriment. It is why more and more, I have sat back and let everything flow around me rather than attempting to force square pegs into round holes. It is why I have spent more time back home, considering my next move while taking into account everything that is swirling around me. Making sure that this move is the absolute best move for me at this point in my career. One that lets me continue bringing about the cause whilst reminding me of exactly who I am.
Of why I am still here.
I can admit, I have been on the verge of riding off into the sunset and saying farewell to the sport over the last few months or even years. I seriously considered using the SWF's closure as my means to just walk away without any fanfare. Without any pomp and circumstance. Just the way I like it, and how I have declared I would leave in the past. Yet for some reason, every time I think I am out. Every time I tell myself that this is it. That it's time to sit back and let the next generation take the wheel so to speak, there is always that little voice inside of me, telling me that there is more that I can still give. That there are tasks that I still have to complete before being able to finally walk away. It is that voice that keeps me here. That voice which is the reason I can never truly rest, for there will always be a reason for me to remain in the fold. Another reason to fight.
It's like the old adage goes - you can never truly leave the industry. Such is the nature of the sport itself and the lust for competition. The lust for going out there and proving why you are the one who stands above. Why you are the cream of the crop as some might put it. A thrill that I cannot deny I have had over the years, even if I am not one to buy into the notion of claiming I am the best. Even if the glitz and glamour isn't something I have ever truly bought into, I cannot sit here and claim that I have never had the wave of excitment flow through me between the ropes.
For I have.
It is been like a second home to me over the years. A place where I can go out there, night after night and prove just why when people look at me. Why when they write down their little stories and speak on me, they will tell you that I put on a masterclass. A clinic between the ropes. That I am the standard that stands unmatched. That is something that will never change.
---
I sit atop my black leather couch inside of my apartment in Eltham, watching Home and Away with Bianca. It's not what I personally would have on, but Bianca has always been a fan of the show. Plus, Hayley is making an appearance on tonight's episode so it is a way to support her as well.
Lucina is sitting on the seat next to Bianca, almost as invested in the show as her mother is, a coloruing book upturned on her lap. Glancing across at them, I turn my attention to the TV, thoughts of what the next destination will be in terms of my wrestling career.
A question that I have been asked repeatedly over the course of the last month. Ever since the SWF shuttered down. Most of the time, I have simply given them a non-committal answer of 'we'll have to see', in the hopes that it will at the very least buy myself some time to consider all the available options. Scour the market and see if anything calls to me. It's been my modius operandi for the entirity of my career, so why change it? Why hurry into making a choice that I could potentially regret? After all, I have always preached about doing things the right way. I have always stated that one should make the best decision for themselves, so I would be a little bit of a hypocrite if I wasn't to follow my own advice. Lead by example.
In the interim, I have been working with Melbourne City Wrestling as a means of paying them back for being the place where I was able to get my start. Mainly on their house show circuit, but also on the Televised shows they have hosted (Shockwave primarily) whenever they have needed somebody to fill in for a match. An agreement best referred to as a pay by appearance. It is what has kept me in ring shape. A way for me to ensure that my body can still handle the rigours of being in the ring, night in and night out --- something that is all the more important as the mileage continues to add up on my body and the clock continues to tick away.
Bianca: Hey babe, Sheridan just texted me.
Snapping out of the daze I had been in, I turn my head to look at her.
"Ah, alright. What did she say?"
Bianca looks at me, a small smile appearing across her face.
Bianca: The Christmas run is a go. She just got confirmation we'll be able to use the Tan and set up everything.
I smile. The annual Christmas run is one of our biggest events, and enables us to ensure we can continue funding the charitable efforts we do. Both under the Adams Enterprises banner and in our own personal lives.
"Great. Tell her to start posting the details online and set up registration. Wanna make sure it's done so that we don't need to rush and do it all last minute."
Bianca: Okay. You want me to see if she can get a few booths? Or are you gonna handle that?
"If she can. Otherwise, I have a few people I know will be down, so tell her not to worry if she can't."
Bianca: Alright.
She begins to type out the message, as my thoughts return back to the course of action I should take in my career. Honestly, I am not hurting for options in terms of places who has expressed interest in having me on their roster. Companies who see me as holding value due to my status as an 'icon' of the sport. A name that instantly elevates anywhere I may roam. It's a prestige that not many people within this sport holds, albeit one that honestly, is subjective. Yet at the same time, it is the very point of the sport itself.
You want to make people care about you.
Whether they hate you or love you, you want their eyes to be on you. You want to be the reason that they are walking through the doors and giving themselves stories to tell their friends and family. I may not necessarily care about how they percieve me, but I do wish for them to see the cause. To understand just what it is that has brought me to the realm. What it is that is my endgame, even if they choose to remain ignorant to its truth. Even if they wish to deny the light that the temple shines upon the world in its purest form.
Just as long as they understand why it is there. As long as they see that the very fabric of the sport is built upon what happems inside of the ring, and doesn't depend on pagentry and gimmickry --- no matter what others might attempt to convince you, then I have done my job. I have filled my piece of the puzzle. My role within the grander picture. Just as each and every single person who steps into the ring does, even if unlike me, their exact roles are undefined. Only to be made clear when the moment calls for it to and no sooner. Just as it had when it came calling for me.
When it wished for me to be the physical arbiter of its desires.
It is that role that I have taken on and crafted into my own after the years. Becoming a 'gatekeeper' as it might be known as in order to discover just who is truly pure of heart and who must be purged so that they can be reborn into the light. The final frontier before one crosses into the temple and drinks from the fountain, as I had once upon a time.
"To bathe in the light, one must identify what it is they seek from it. Why it is that they have chosen the course they have --- why they wander further into the realm, hoping that their calling shall illuminate their match and give them the clarity they seek."
"Otherwise, they hold nothing. They are but a speck of dirt within the greater world. A position that nobody wishes to find themselves in."
My voice slightly above a whisper, I watch as the final scene of Home and Away plays out and the end credits begin to roll, going to grab the remote and turn it to Channel 9, only to be given a death stare from Bianca.
Big Brother is on next, and she wishes to watch it.
Conceding, I put the remote back down and instead turn my focus to Lucina, preparing to help her with the colouring book and any homework that she may have, allowing Bianca to focus on the show.
---
It is what I have prided myself on throughout the course of my career. Going out there and flying the flag for wrestling itself, in a world that is seen as being Hollywood lite. A world where presentation is seen as holding as much, if not more value, than talent. Whilst there are people who are drawn to that component of wrestling. People who see themselves as entertainers within the medium rather than the standard wrestler, it is a double edged sword.
For it is that which has dilluted the aspect of wrestling that should matter the most, instead turning it into a psuedo popularity contest. A place where you can skate by on how you look rather than how you fight. Where the ring is merely a stage. A platform rather than the battlefield that it has one been. The battlefield that the temple wishes for it to be once again. I grew up and cut my teeth within the battlefield, going to war with some of the greatest gladiators that this sport has had to offer over the near 20 years I have been in this sport, and I came out the other side.
Still breathing.
Still standing.
Even when I wasn't supposed to. Even when most people would have stayed down, I refused to. I simply couldn't for it would have meant that they would have won. It would have spelt the end of not just me, but the entire temple of wrestling itself. Replaced by a world where people prance around, acting as if they are in a feature film rather than combat. Assuming the roles much like an actor rather than a fighter --- a world that deep down, I know people wouldn't want.
They can say they would all they want, yet they know in their heart of hearts, it is merely their way of attempting to convince themselves. Their way of denying the truth that stands before their very eyes. A truth that those of us who hold the key have confessed to and sworn to uphold.
A truth I plan on upholding, no matter where my future takes place.
---
Walking through the streets, I feel the gentle spring breeze swirling around me. It's a warm night as per usual in November, but I have come out there to clear my mind. Allow my thoughts to flow freely and ponder everything. Whether it pertains to my personal life, Adams Enterprises or wrestling, it is all laying itself bare and opening itself up to the world.
In terms of the final of those 3 points, there is slowly but surely becoming some clarity. You see, yesterday - I recieved a call from a representative of one of the first wrestling promotions I joined when I moved to America. A place which has always held a place inside of my heart and served as the introduction to me for the vast majority of people. Whilst back then, I was merely another face in the crowd. Another name on a piece of paper, it was there that I began to refine myself. Where I began to step out of the shadows of just being a tag team specialist and 'Devin Stone's partner' and into my own person. Into a competitor who could stand on my own two feet.
In a funny way, you could say it is where I began my metamorphasis from being a tiny little caterpillar within the sport into a fully fledged butterfly. It may not be the place I truly made my name, but it was vital to my development nonetheless.
That place being New Edge Wrestling.
Upon hearing that news, a small smile crossed my face. I may not have been there for a while, to the point where it was feasible that people have forgotten about my time there, but this was the perfect opportunity for me to get back to basics. Remind myself of what I had once been, and have everything go full circle in a sense. After all, I have spoken repeatedly about finding myself. About reminding myself of what it was that had gotten me to where I stood in the first place. This was the opportunity to do just that. Yet there's a niggling voice inside of me, asking whether this is truly the right course of action. Whether it is truly worth making this move, or if I am simply convincing myself it is what I should do. After all, the past is the past for a reason and as important as it was to me once upon a time, returning there may not have the impact I desire.
It could just be a failure just as much as it could be a success. What if the same issues that plagued me back then return now? I may be a more mature person than I was back then, but that doesn't mean it is impossible for me to be frustrated. To feel as if I am treading water or aimlessly spinning my wheels, much as I had in the past. Yet one thing I have learned over my years in the ring is that you cannot allow yourself to focus on the external factors. The things that are simply out of your control, and should instead focus on the things that can be controlled. The factors that pertain to you and the actions you take.
For it is not always about where one stands in the hierachy, but rather what one is doing to ensure that they are always advancing their end game. Whether or not that end game includes championships and glory. The younger version of myself would be obsessed with the status of being champion. Of seeing it as the only way things could truly move forward, yet as I have grown older. As I have acquired more experience and found the cause. Found the path I wish to wander down, I realize that is no longer the case.
"Sometimes, it isn't about winning. It isn't about holding the championship --- it is about defining the very fabric. Making sure that no matter what, it is your name that is etched into the stone."
The quote floating into the air, I continue to walk down the street. The streetlights lining my path as the sound of hooting swirls around me.
"That is why I have no other choice but to do this. Going back to one of the places where it all began for me and this time --- proving just why it is no longer about needing to be the best. About needing to hold the glory within my hands but instead about ensuring that it all comes to pass."
"Ensuring that the light is what encapsulates the industry once it all plays out. No matter what it takes in order to do so."
I lower my voice into little more than a whisper, reaching the corner to our street.
"That is what I shall do."
Turning, I walk until I reach our fence, noticing the shadowy figure of Bianca sitting on the porch atop the green lawn chair. As if she has been waiting for me to return. Yet she doesn't know about my decision to join the NEW - or rather, return there after many years away. We weren't even together officially the last time I was there, for Joely was still alive. I know she is looking down and smiling at me for making this choice, and I know she will be with me every step of the way.
She always is.
---
Whether it be with the NEW full time, or if this story ends the same as my previous two - it will not matter, for it has its own part to play in the scheme. It has its own pieces to put into play and slot into the puzzle where they belong, as I venture into both the known and the unknown at the very same time. Just the way that it has to be, if I am to truly get back to the man I once was. The man who wanted to go out there and stand against the best, then silence them when they realized that I wasn't some myth. I wasn't some fool but that I stood for everything that I had claimed.
A road that commences with this 15 person battle royal in Chicago. A place that holds a special place in my heart, for it is the home of Adams Enterprises International. It is the place that embraced me, and where I was able to truly dip my toes into the American wrestling scene. First with New Edge, and then beyond with the places more people would identify me with. The NWA and EAW. It is one of the primary reasons why I know deep down that this isn't just the right choice for me to have made, it is the only choice I could make.
The only place where I could truly be at home.
As for the battle royal itself, there are some familiar faces. People who I have crossed paths with in the past and some people who are completely new to me. People who I have never stepped into the ring against, yet to me, that is part of the fun. After all, wrestling imitates life itself in being a learning experience. A means for us to gauge just what it is people are about, and for them to learn what I am about. This match is the perfect medium in which to do so, for each and every one of them will have no choice but to show their hand. Reveal their cards into the open. Which is exactly what I wish for.
For whilst everyone else might wish to angle themselves to win, seeing it as a means for them to make a statement. Cement themselves within the infrastructure of the reborn NEW, I see it as just another step. Another cog in the machine --- one that I do not need to win in order to get what I desire from it. That does not mean I intend on settling for 2nd or 3rd place.
Oh no.
It simply means that winning isn't my end game, nor is it what will define me. For you cannot define somebody who has already been defined. You cannot remove what has already been set into stone and written into the tablet, which is something the other 14 are going to learn when they step into the ring and have no choice but to confront the waves that are about to crash down onto them. Wishing to send them plummeting into the mire from whence they came, with only themselves to blame should that be the outcome that plays out.
For they were given every chance to heed the song that is being sung. To comprehend the message that is being laid out before their very eyes. One that should they choose to ignore it, shall spell out their demise. Their final moments as it all becomes too much to overcome. Too much to resist.
I hope that isn't the story that greets you all at Ignite, for it won't be fun to pick you piece by piece if it does.
---
Tiarne: Hey, Scott. Did you need me to help with anything?
Tiarne asks me this from the kitchen, as I enter. She had come over to babysit Lucina while Bianca and I headed out for dinner, partially because tomorrow, I head to Chicago for Ignite, partially as a celebration for it being 20 years since we first became friends. Yes, we're weird like that. She had decided to stay longer after we returned, in case we needed anything done around the house. Whether that be cleaning or otherwise.
Plus, it allows her to spend some time with us, which has been scarce lately due to our conflicting schedules.
"Nah, though could you tell Bianca I'm in the studio if she needs me?"
Tiarne nods.
Tiarne: Sure. Guessing you found a promotion then? I remember you saying you were looking for one.
I nod, glancing at her. I don't recall if she remembers the NEW, as it was around that time she had been establishing her own name in the sport. With both the VWL and RIW.
"Yeah."
Tiarne: Which one?
I exhale.
"New Edge Wrestling. They're returning, and I owe it to them, seeing as they were a vital piece of my own development in the sport."
Tiarne looks at me, slightly confused. She hadn't heard about their return --- though neither had I before I managed to stumble across an email one of their staffers had left me. Though it appears that she does recall them, or at least recalls my previous stint there.
Tiarne: Oh, nice.
"Yeah."
I make my way out of the kitchen and towards the studio. Might as well address the 14 others in the battle royal, seeing as some of them have decided to play ignorant and pretend they don't know who I am. I shouldn't be surprised though, it's only human nature to play pretend as what you don't know cannot hurt you.
Closing the back door behind me, I let out a breath before wandering over to the door of the studio, opening it then stepping inside. Whilst there are a mixture of names I know and don't know within the match, it is actually somebody who would technically fit into the latter category who I am most interested in. A woman who goes by the moniker Bla.
For whilst our paths may not have crossed formally, I am very familiar with her. I have kept one eye on her over in Perth, as she has the potential to become one of the biggest names in Australian Women's wrestling, just like Alyce Jennings, Madeliene Satterfield and Saari Nicholls before her. She has the very same it factor about her that those 3 did --- something I witnessed first hand with them.
"I see some people choose to keep the wool placed over their eyes."
I chuckle, hoping those I am referring to know exactly who they are.
"Hoping that by ignoring what awaits them, they can avoid the maelstrom. Hiding safely until it passes, then striking --- failing to realize that they shall be swept up and left within the wreckage no matter how loud they scream. No matter how much they choose to pretend that it is not swirling around them."
"For it is omnipresent. It is ever lasting and shall only truly subside once they are left as nothing more than husks. Just like everyone else that stands in its path."
I flash my famed half-smirk, knowing that those words are going to be embedded into the 14 people's minds as they futilly attempt to stand in front of it. Failing to understand that I need not be the last one standing in order for it to have done its job and leave them battered, broken and lost within themselves.
All that is needed, is for them to have even just one second of panic.
"And it is what shall become your fate if you attempt to tempt the light. If you choose to believe that your arrogance. Your so called prestige will be enough between those ropes, because all it will do is leave egg on your face, wondering why you weren't able to get the job done. Why you weren't able to follow through on the words you spoke."
"A feeling that I'm sure none of you wish to hold. After all, it would be oh so sad to see your precious confidence go up in smoke."
I laugh, the sarcasm laid on thick with that remark.
"Yet there is one person who I want to specifically talk about. Somebody who holds the future of Australian wrestling in her hands, much like I did once upon a time. Somebody who could very well be the one to take the torch from me when I finally ride into the sunset for good, leaving this sport behind."
I pause, exhaling.
"That being Bla. There is something about you. Something that shows me you are special. That you hold a flame inside of you that you haven't been able to channel yet. One that sits there, calling upon you to manifest it --- to find it within yourself and use it to become the woman you are designed to be."
"That is not something I say lightly. It is something I have only truly seen within 3 people. Alyce Jennings, Madeline Satterfield and Saari Nicholls. 3 women I'm sure you idolized while sitting at your home in Freo, watching the TV. Seeing them on your screen night after night, blazing a trail for you to follow."
"And I know they are happy to see somebody like you stepping into the light. Stepping onto a global stage to show just what we Aussies are capable of. It is why it is unfortunate that we are gonna be on opposite sides at Ignite. Why it is sad that you are one of those who must fall for the next portrait to be painted, because I want to see you thrive. I want you to succeed and take the reins. Lead the new era and uphold the standard set by them."
I bow my head.
"Alas, it won't be enough to save you from the riptide. For come ignite, you are just like the other 13. People whose song will sing and chime will sound as you fall. One by one. At my hands."
My eyes narrow, as I rise.
"I will see you all there."
END.
Assessing everything as its own singular battle rather than being a part of the grand picture. Something that I can admit I have ignored over the years, oftentimes to my own detriment. It is why more and more, I have sat back and let everything flow around me rather than attempting to force square pegs into round holes. It is why I have spent more time back home, considering my next move while taking into account everything that is swirling around me. Making sure that this move is the absolute best move for me at this point in my career. One that lets me continue bringing about the cause whilst reminding me of exactly who I am.
Of why I am still here.
I can admit, I have been on the verge of riding off into the sunset and saying farewell to the sport over the last few months or even years. I seriously considered using the SWF's closure as my means to just walk away without any fanfare. Without any pomp and circumstance. Just the way I like it, and how I have declared I would leave in the past. Yet for some reason, every time I think I am out. Every time I tell myself that this is it. That it's time to sit back and let the next generation take the wheel so to speak, there is always that little voice inside of me, telling me that there is more that I can still give. That there are tasks that I still have to complete before being able to finally walk away. It is that voice that keeps me here. That voice which is the reason I can never truly rest, for there will always be a reason for me to remain in the fold. Another reason to fight.
It's like the old adage goes - you can never truly leave the industry. Such is the nature of the sport itself and the lust for competition. The lust for going out there and proving why you are the one who stands above. Why you are the cream of the crop as some might put it. A thrill that I cannot deny I have had over the years, even if I am not one to buy into the notion of claiming I am the best. Even if the glitz and glamour isn't something I have ever truly bought into, I cannot sit here and claim that I have never had the wave of excitment flow through me between the ropes.
For I have.
It is been like a second home to me over the years. A place where I can go out there, night after night and prove just why when people look at me. Why when they write down their little stories and speak on me, they will tell you that I put on a masterclass. A clinic between the ropes. That I am the standard that stands unmatched. That is something that will never change.
---
I sit atop my black leather couch inside of my apartment in Eltham, watching Home and Away with Bianca. It's not what I personally would have on, but Bianca has always been a fan of the show. Plus, Hayley is making an appearance on tonight's episode so it is a way to support her as well.
Lucina is sitting on the seat next to Bianca, almost as invested in the show as her mother is, a coloruing book upturned on her lap. Glancing across at them, I turn my attention to the TV, thoughts of what the next destination will be in terms of my wrestling career.
A question that I have been asked repeatedly over the course of the last month. Ever since the SWF shuttered down. Most of the time, I have simply given them a non-committal answer of 'we'll have to see', in the hopes that it will at the very least buy myself some time to consider all the available options. Scour the market and see if anything calls to me. It's been my modius operandi for the entirity of my career, so why change it? Why hurry into making a choice that I could potentially regret? After all, I have always preached about doing things the right way. I have always stated that one should make the best decision for themselves, so I would be a little bit of a hypocrite if I wasn't to follow my own advice. Lead by example.
In the interim, I have been working with Melbourne City Wrestling as a means of paying them back for being the place where I was able to get my start. Mainly on their house show circuit, but also on the Televised shows they have hosted (Shockwave primarily) whenever they have needed somebody to fill in for a match. An agreement best referred to as a pay by appearance. It is what has kept me in ring shape. A way for me to ensure that my body can still handle the rigours of being in the ring, night in and night out --- something that is all the more important as the mileage continues to add up on my body and the clock continues to tick away.
Bianca: Hey babe, Sheridan just texted me.
Snapping out of the daze I had been in, I turn my head to look at her.
"Ah, alright. What did she say?"
Bianca looks at me, a small smile appearing across her face.
Bianca: The Christmas run is a go. She just got confirmation we'll be able to use the Tan and set up everything.
I smile. The annual Christmas run is one of our biggest events, and enables us to ensure we can continue funding the charitable efforts we do. Both under the Adams Enterprises banner and in our own personal lives.
"Great. Tell her to start posting the details online and set up registration. Wanna make sure it's done so that we don't need to rush and do it all last minute."
Bianca: Okay. You want me to see if she can get a few booths? Or are you gonna handle that?
"If she can. Otherwise, I have a few people I know will be down, so tell her not to worry if she can't."
Bianca: Alright.
She begins to type out the message, as my thoughts return back to the course of action I should take in my career. Honestly, I am not hurting for options in terms of places who has expressed interest in having me on their roster. Companies who see me as holding value due to my status as an 'icon' of the sport. A name that instantly elevates anywhere I may roam. It's a prestige that not many people within this sport holds, albeit one that honestly, is subjective. Yet at the same time, it is the very point of the sport itself.
You want to make people care about you.
Whether they hate you or love you, you want their eyes to be on you. You want to be the reason that they are walking through the doors and giving themselves stories to tell their friends and family. I may not necessarily care about how they percieve me, but I do wish for them to see the cause. To understand just what it is that has brought me to the realm. What it is that is my endgame, even if they choose to remain ignorant to its truth. Even if they wish to deny the light that the temple shines upon the world in its purest form.
Just as long as they understand why it is there. As long as they see that the very fabric of the sport is built upon what happems inside of the ring, and doesn't depend on pagentry and gimmickry --- no matter what others might attempt to convince you, then I have done my job. I have filled my piece of the puzzle. My role within the grander picture. Just as each and every single person who steps into the ring does, even if unlike me, their exact roles are undefined. Only to be made clear when the moment calls for it to and no sooner. Just as it had when it came calling for me.
When it wished for me to be the physical arbiter of its desires.
It is that role that I have taken on and crafted into my own after the years. Becoming a 'gatekeeper' as it might be known as in order to discover just who is truly pure of heart and who must be purged so that they can be reborn into the light. The final frontier before one crosses into the temple and drinks from the fountain, as I had once upon a time.
"To bathe in the light, one must identify what it is they seek from it. Why it is that they have chosen the course they have --- why they wander further into the realm, hoping that their calling shall illuminate their match and give them the clarity they seek."
"Otherwise, they hold nothing. They are but a speck of dirt within the greater world. A position that nobody wishes to find themselves in."
My voice slightly above a whisper, I watch as the final scene of Home and Away plays out and the end credits begin to roll, going to grab the remote and turn it to Channel 9, only to be given a death stare from Bianca.
Big Brother is on next, and she wishes to watch it.
Conceding, I put the remote back down and instead turn my focus to Lucina, preparing to help her with the colouring book and any homework that she may have, allowing Bianca to focus on the show.
---
It is what I have prided myself on throughout the course of my career. Going out there and flying the flag for wrestling itself, in a world that is seen as being Hollywood lite. A world where presentation is seen as holding as much, if not more value, than talent. Whilst there are people who are drawn to that component of wrestling. People who see themselves as entertainers within the medium rather than the standard wrestler, it is a double edged sword.
For it is that which has dilluted the aspect of wrestling that should matter the most, instead turning it into a psuedo popularity contest. A place where you can skate by on how you look rather than how you fight. Where the ring is merely a stage. A platform rather than the battlefield that it has one been. The battlefield that the temple wishes for it to be once again. I grew up and cut my teeth within the battlefield, going to war with some of the greatest gladiators that this sport has had to offer over the near 20 years I have been in this sport, and I came out the other side.
Still breathing.
Still standing.
Even when I wasn't supposed to. Even when most people would have stayed down, I refused to. I simply couldn't for it would have meant that they would have won. It would have spelt the end of not just me, but the entire temple of wrestling itself. Replaced by a world where people prance around, acting as if they are in a feature film rather than combat. Assuming the roles much like an actor rather than a fighter --- a world that deep down, I know people wouldn't want.
They can say they would all they want, yet they know in their heart of hearts, it is merely their way of attempting to convince themselves. Their way of denying the truth that stands before their very eyes. A truth that those of us who hold the key have confessed to and sworn to uphold.
A truth I plan on upholding, no matter where my future takes place.
---
Walking through the streets, I feel the gentle spring breeze swirling around me. It's a warm night as per usual in November, but I have come out there to clear my mind. Allow my thoughts to flow freely and ponder everything. Whether it pertains to my personal life, Adams Enterprises or wrestling, it is all laying itself bare and opening itself up to the world.
In terms of the final of those 3 points, there is slowly but surely becoming some clarity. You see, yesterday - I recieved a call from a representative of one of the first wrestling promotions I joined when I moved to America. A place which has always held a place inside of my heart and served as the introduction to me for the vast majority of people. Whilst back then, I was merely another face in the crowd. Another name on a piece of paper, it was there that I began to refine myself. Where I began to step out of the shadows of just being a tag team specialist and 'Devin Stone's partner' and into my own person. Into a competitor who could stand on my own two feet.
In a funny way, you could say it is where I began my metamorphasis from being a tiny little caterpillar within the sport into a fully fledged butterfly. It may not be the place I truly made my name, but it was vital to my development nonetheless.
That place being New Edge Wrestling.
Upon hearing that news, a small smile crossed my face. I may not have been there for a while, to the point where it was feasible that people have forgotten about my time there, but this was the perfect opportunity for me to get back to basics. Remind myself of what I had once been, and have everything go full circle in a sense. After all, I have spoken repeatedly about finding myself. About reminding myself of what it was that had gotten me to where I stood in the first place. This was the opportunity to do just that. Yet there's a niggling voice inside of me, asking whether this is truly the right course of action. Whether it is truly worth making this move, or if I am simply convincing myself it is what I should do. After all, the past is the past for a reason and as important as it was to me once upon a time, returning there may not have the impact I desire.
It could just be a failure just as much as it could be a success. What if the same issues that plagued me back then return now? I may be a more mature person than I was back then, but that doesn't mean it is impossible for me to be frustrated. To feel as if I am treading water or aimlessly spinning my wheels, much as I had in the past. Yet one thing I have learned over my years in the ring is that you cannot allow yourself to focus on the external factors. The things that are simply out of your control, and should instead focus on the things that can be controlled. The factors that pertain to you and the actions you take.
For it is not always about where one stands in the hierachy, but rather what one is doing to ensure that they are always advancing their end game. Whether or not that end game includes championships and glory. The younger version of myself would be obsessed with the status of being champion. Of seeing it as the only way things could truly move forward, yet as I have grown older. As I have acquired more experience and found the cause. Found the path I wish to wander down, I realize that is no longer the case.
"Sometimes, it isn't about winning. It isn't about holding the championship --- it is about defining the very fabric. Making sure that no matter what, it is your name that is etched into the stone."
The quote floating into the air, I continue to walk down the street. The streetlights lining my path as the sound of hooting swirls around me.
"That is why I have no other choice but to do this. Going back to one of the places where it all began for me and this time --- proving just why it is no longer about needing to be the best. About needing to hold the glory within my hands but instead about ensuring that it all comes to pass."
"Ensuring that the light is what encapsulates the industry once it all plays out. No matter what it takes in order to do so."
I lower my voice into little more than a whisper, reaching the corner to our street.
"That is what I shall do."
Turning, I walk until I reach our fence, noticing the shadowy figure of Bianca sitting on the porch atop the green lawn chair. As if she has been waiting for me to return. Yet she doesn't know about my decision to join the NEW - or rather, return there after many years away. We weren't even together officially the last time I was there, for Joely was still alive. I know she is looking down and smiling at me for making this choice, and I know she will be with me every step of the way.
She always is.
---
Whether it be with the NEW full time, or if this story ends the same as my previous two - it will not matter, for it has its own part to play in the scheme. It has its own pieces to put into play and slot into the puzzle where they belong, as I venture into both the known and the unknown at the very same time. Just the way that it has to be, if I am to truly get back to the man I once was. The man who wanted to go out there and stand against the best, then silence them when they realized that I wasn't some myth. I wasn't some fool but that I stood for everything that I had claimed.
A road that commences with this 15 person battle royal in Chicago. A place that holds a special place in my heart, for it is the home of Adams Enterprises International. It is the place that embraced me, and where I was able to truly dip my toes into the American wrestling scene. First with New Edge, and then beyond with the places more people would identify me with. The NWA and EAW. It is one of the primary reasons why I know deep down that this isn't just the right choice for me to have made, it is the only choice I could make.
The only place where I could truly be at home.
As for the battle royal itself, there are some familiar faces. People who I have crossed paths with in the past and some people who are completely new to me. People who I have never stepped into the ring against, yet to me, that is part of the fun. After all, wrestling imitates life itself in being a learning experience. A means for us to gauge just what it is people are about, and for them to learn what I am about. This match is the perfect medium in which to do so, for each and every one of them will have no choice but to show their hand. Reveal their cards into the open. Which is exactly what I wish for.
For whilst everyone else might wish to angle themselves to win, seeing it as a means for them to make a statement. Cement themselves within the infrastructure of the reborn NEW, I see it as just another step. Another cog in the machine --- one that I do not need to win in order to get what I desire from it. That does not mean I intend on settling for 2nd or 3rd place.
Oh no.
It simply means that winning isn't my end game, nor is it what will define me. For you cannot define somebody who has already been defined. You cannot remove what has already been set into stone and written into the tablet, which is something the other 14 are going to learn when they step into the ring and have no choice but to confront the waves that are about to crash down onto them. Wishing to send them plummeting into the mire from whence they came, with only themselves to blame should that be the outcome that plays out.
For they were given every chance to heed the song that is being sung. To comprehend the message that is being laid out before their very eyes. One that should they choose to ignore it, shall spell out their demise. Their final moments as it all becomes too much to overcome. Too much to resist.
I hope that isn't the story that greets you all at Ignite, for it won't be fun to pick you piece by piece if it does.
---
Tiarne: Hey, Scott. Did you need me to help with anything?
Tiarne asks me this from the kitchen, as I enter. She had come over to babysit Lucina while Bianca and I headed out for dinner, partially because tomorrow, I head to Chicago for Ignite, partially as a celebration for it being 20 years since we first became friends. Yes, we're weird like that. She had decided to stay longer after we returned, in case we needed anything done around the house. Whether that be cleaning or otherwise.
Plus, it allows her to spend some time with us, which has been scarce lately due to our conflicting schedules.
"Nah, though could you tell Bianca I'm in the studio if she needs me?"
Tiarne nods.
Tiarne: Sure. Guessing you found a promotion then? I remember you saying you were looking for one.
I nod, glancing at her. I don't recall if she remembers the NEW, as it was around that time she had been establishing her own name in the sport. With both the VWL and RIW.
"Yeah."
Tiarne: Which one?
I exhale.
"New Edge Wrestling. They're returning, and I owe it to them, seeing as they were a vital piece of my own development in the sport."
Tiarne looks at me, slightly confused. She hadn't heard about their return --- though neither had I before I managed to stumble across an email one of their staffers had left me. Though it appears that she does recall them, or at least recalls my previous stint there.
Tiarne: Oh, nice.
"Yeah."
I make my way out of the kitchen and towards the studio. Might as well address the 14 others in the battle royal, seeing as some of them have decided to play ignorant and pretend they don't know who I am. I shouldn't be surprised though, it's only human nature to play pretend as what you don't know cannot hurt you.
Closing the back door behind me, I let out a breath before wandering over to the door of the studio, opening it then stepping inside. Whilst there are a mixture of names I know and don't know within the match, it is actually somebody who would technically fit into the latter category who I am most interested in. A woman who goes by the moniker Bla.
For whilst our paths may not have crossed formally, I am very familiar with her. I have kept one eye on her over in Perth, as she has the potential to become one of the biggest names in Australian Women's wrestling, just like Alyce Jennings, Madeliene Satterfield and Saari Nicholls before her. She has the very same it factor about her that those 3 did --- something I witnessed first hand with them.
"I see some people choose to keep the wool placed over their eyes."
I chuckle, hoping those I am referring to know exactly who they are.
"Hoping that by ignoring what awaits them, they can avoid the maelstrom. Hiding safely until it passes, then striking --- failing to realize that they shall be swept up and left within the wreckage no matter how loud they scream. No matter how much they choose to pretend that it is not swirling around them."
"For it is omnipresent. It is ever lasting and shall only truly subside once they are left as nothing more than husks. Just like everyone else that stands in its path."
I flash my famed half-smirk, knowing that those words are going to be embedded into the 14 people's minds as they futilly attempt to stand in front of it. Failing to understand that I need not be the last one standing in order for it to have done its job and leave them battered, broken and lost within themselves.
All that is needed, is for them to have even just one second of panic.
"And it is what shall become your fate if you attempt to tempt the light. If you choose to believe that your arrogance. Your so called prestige will be enough between those ropes, because all it will do is leave egg on your face, wondering why you weren't able to get the job done. Why you weren't able to follow through on the words you spoke."
"A feeling that I'm sure none of you wish to hold. After all, it would be oh so sad to see your precious confidence go up in smoke."
I laugh, the sarcasm laid on thick with that remark.
"Yet there is one person who I want to specifically talk about. Somebody who holds the future of Australian wrestling in her hands, much like I did once upon a time. Somebody who could very well be the one to take the torch from me when I finally ride into the sunset for good, leaving this sport behind."
I pause, exhaling.
"That being Bla. There is something about you. Something that shows me you are special. That you hold a flame inside of you that you haven't been able to channel yet. One that sits there, calling upon you to manifest it --- to find it within yourself and use it to become the woman you are designed to be."
"That is not something I say lightly. It is something I have only truly seen within 3 people. Alyce Jennings, Madeline Satterfield and Saari Nicholls. 3 women I'm sure you idolized while sitting at your home in Freo, watching the TV. Seeing them on your screen night after night, blazing a trail for you to follow."
"And I know they are happy to see somebody like you stepping into the light. Stepping onto a global stage to show just what we Aussies are capable of. It is why it is unfortunate that we are gonna be on opposite sides at Ignite. Why it is sad that you are one of those who must fall for the next portrait to be painted, because I want to see you thrive. I want you to succeed and take the reins. Lead the new era and uphold the standard set by them."
I bow my head.
"Alas, it won't be enough to save you from the riptide. For come ignite, you are just like the other 13. People whose song will sing and chime will sound as you fall. One by one. At my hands."
My eyes narrow, as I rise.
"I will see you all there."
END.