Post by Hunter "By God" Valentyne on Dec 4, 2023 18:34:29 GMT -6
Testing the intelligence of the ignorant is a very fun game. It is especially entertaining when those ignorant fucks think they have some sort of mental acumen, Jesus Hunter Christ, Jesse actually thinks he is not a fucking moron. Others think they think on this next level when they are always about seven fucking steps behind. That might give these mental midgets too much God Damned credit. But I try to do nice things for those less fortunate who do not have the Goddamned ability to pull their heads out of their asses.
Anybody who understands me understands that fucking with people is like my special ability. Fucking with Jesse Styes has become a bit of a hobby of mine for the last fifteen years. The fact that Valora likes to think things that are simply not true is a side benefit. Let us delve into the truth about this company and what all of these things mean. Don’t worry Valora, I will speak slowly and use small words so your stupid ass can get the damned point.
Valora Salinas is a stupid bitch. She always has been and always will be. She says all kinds of stupid shit on the daily. This is why literally nobody gave a fuck when she came back to NEW. Nobody gave a fuck about her stupid stable that is a footnote in the history of this fucking company that I God Damned built before she slut walked into it. She needs to realize she means nothing. She is not a nostalgia act because nostalgia acts are something that people at one time gave a fuck about. She needs to understand that nobody gives a shit.
It is probably a good time to talk about the whole prison thing. Yes it was a test for you stupid mother fuckers. Mostly it was a test for Jesse Styles. He told me constantly before this stupid contract was signed, that he had changed. That people grow. Things in the past remained in the past. He told me a lot of shit. Being the untrusting prick that I am, I tested it. Sometimes you have to give a lying prick enough rope to hang himself.
When prisons go out of rotation in the system they are put up for auction at a bargain price. You can get an out of rotation prison for a steal. Prisons go out of rotation for several reasons. Sometimes the condition of the facility means that prisoners cannot be housed there safely. Sometimes a brand new prison is built so the old one becomes useless. Whatever the fucking reason I bought the mother fucker. Things can be bought that come in handy later.
Now to the other stupidity. People saying there is no way the state of Illinois would ever let that happen are the dumbest type of people, you know, females. The State of Illinois is one of the most corrupt states in the Union. Four of the last 10 Governors went to prison for corruption. Jesus Christ, George Ryan was put in prison for bribery. Otto Kerner was indicted for taking a fucking bribe. Oh but that could never happen? How fucking stupid are you people? A state with a history of taking bribes would never take a bribe?
I will get to that stupid bitch in a minute. Jesse Styles did exactly what he has always done. He has always tried to embarrass me in front of the world.. Even with his so called changes he did that same fucking thing. I allowed myself to be put in that situation with that prison smokescreen. He showed who the fuck he was one night in. He decided to feed lines to his idiotic commentating team to try to embarrass me. He only embarrassed himself with his stupidity and ignorance about the state the he fucking lives in. He also decided to get inside of the head of a dude who has no idea who he is fucking with. The blood is on his fucking hands not mine. Jeremiah Vastrix has no idea who the fuck he has messed with and what the fuck that person is capable of. This cyclops looking mother fucker does not realize I will pull the good eye out of his fucking head. Then his head will be stomped the fuck out until the fake eye drops from his brainless skull. A fucking laser? Maybe that's like a rumor or something. Jesus Christ, they say I don’t deal in reality.
The day is a bit warmer than expected in December. Chicago weather has become a bit tamer in the winter than in years past. The four guys that work for me are even dumber than Valora. Do you have any idea how fucking hard it is to find four people who are dumber than Valora Salinas? It’s not easy.
“Why are we here? Those people know what we did!”
“Those fucking morons know what we did so we could be here today. You never show all the cards in your hand. These clown ass mother fuckers think they have a clue. They figured out what I wanted them to figure out. I have no idea how I could have made it more fucking obvious.”
“What the hell do you mean?”
“If they are focused on the prison and the bullshit I fed them last week, they are not on alert to the real plan. These mother fuckers actually think Hunter By God Valentyne would ever let some flat foot in a blue shirt making 30 grand a year put me in prison? They would be in a fucking body bag. And if by some fluke of God that would ever happen, they think I would be happy about it? Making friends with the fucking warden? I would be beating the shit out of people and finding a way out. The one thing Johnny and I have ever agreed on is that we hate cops.”
“So what exactly are we doing here?”
“Paying our respects of course.”
The New Edge Wrestling headquarters is seen in the background and under my feet. Jesus this has been a long time coming. I knew the plan all along but a little distraction was necessary. These fucking people have no idea what is coming so a little slight of hand was necessary. Think of it like a double reverse in football. You get the defense going one way and you hit them the other with a big play. This, my bitches, is my big play. Well the first of many, anyways.
“What the fuck?”
“Exactly what the fuck you think it is. These dipshits need to be remembered since their lack of ability could not do that for them. I think I should say a few words.”
“Asshole!”
“And don't you fucking forget it. It is unfortunate Johnny is not here. He would enjoy this shit.”
“Dearly Beloved,
Fuck nobody here is beloved. Forget I fucking said that. Overrated hacks and me is more appropriate I guess. Oh well.
“We are gathered here with you two fucks having your flesh eaten my maggots who are choking on your irrelevance, we are here to celebrate your fucking mediocrity. Neither fucking one of you did anything in life to gain the attention you have gained when you thankfully left this mortal coil. You crossed the threshold with zero fucking talent and left the same. Enjoy your temporary celebrity while it lasts and enjoy an eternity of your loved ones being thankful you are gone. They do not have to listen to the stupid fucking shit that comes from your mouths. LA Kief and Frank Fineli this is your moment. The New Edge Memorial you do not deserve to be on. Words said about you that nobody fucking means. I am the one person who means every Goddamned word of disrespect I can utter. May your soul rot in the everlasting torment your stupidity put us through when you stupid bitches were alive.”
“Now a few words for the stupid bitch I Must lower myself to face in a New Edge ring in St. fucking Louis. I dedicate this match to you dipshits. Let’s face facts, Frank Fucking Fineli and LA Queef were not known for success, either in life or career. This memorial stands here to respect your mediocrity and that is an affront to the people who are actually good. So I dedicate my performance to you bitches in victory so you can smile for ten seconds before Satan starts torturing you morons all over again. He will probably make you watch a Valara Salinas promo. There is not worse torture than that.”
“Everyone seems to be focused on the past. Miss Salinas seems to be focused o a past of regret. She brings up La Dolce Vita because she is the only fucking person that footnote in NEW means a fucking thing to. Even the people who were in it do not remember being in it. It was another failure for this dumb cunt. Ask anybody if they even know who was in that fucking abortion? Nobody gives a shit just like nobody gives a shit that you are here. You mean more to you than you ever did to anyone else. Nobody gives a fuck you beat Slater five years ago. You have a problem with the present. You have a problem with the fact i was beating the fucking shit out of your slutty ass until some dipshit got involved. Brag about your stupid tainted win all you want. Now you have to stand in front of me all by yourself. You have to get the fucking job done without anyone to save your bitch ass. You are very soon to be the third person on the NEW Memorial because I am going to kill your bitch ass.”
“Sir, shouldn't you do some sort of flashback or tell people what you did ten minutes ago? Isn’t that the way things are done?”
“Not by people who know that the fuck they are doing. But that cunt never could focus on the present. Nobody gives a shit what you did five years ago, five seconds ago, or ten minutes from now. You are very much Like Kief over here and Finelli. The only way people will ever give a shit about you is when you fucking die. I will be glad to help your slutty ass on that fucking journey.
“You the bitch that tried to define success and failed at it. You think those little accomplishments are impressive? If my only claim to fame was two TA Titles and one world title I would fucking kill myself. Yet you call a man a failure who has accomplished far more than you ever have and ever will. Would that not make you the fucking failure? It is okay, though. I expect a stupid bitch like you to not know any better. Bring those meager accomplishments to Johnny and he will laugh in your fucking face. Now it is time to christen this exhibit.”
The big man standing beside me hands me a sledgehammer. It is a little better than a cross, don’t you think? The man steps back as the two men in uniforms are laid the fuck out. Yeah that is exactly what would happen if someone ever tried to put me in prison. Stupid fucks.
A mighty swing takes down the top part of it as the concrete comes flying off of it. The men are ducking the debris coming off of it as a smile comes across my face for the first time in a long time. I love pissing these dipshits off. Another dude is filming the ceremony from his damned phone.
Another nice swing takes down the middle section of the monument that Jesse looks like he made inexpensively like the cheap ass cunt that he is. It turns to powder and chunks of concrete fairly quickly. This is pretty much what it's going to look like in St. Louis after I am done with that ugly bitch. The exhibition is left in shambles as the phone is rapidly handed to me. The shock on that bald bitch’s face would be nice to see.
“Hey, mother fucker!”
“Me?”
“Yes you, you fat fuck. Hand me the fucking phone.”
The phone is in my hand as I find the right contact information. I just could not resist sending this shit to him. Granted, our relationship is complicated but if anyone could appreciate what was done it's him. If there is just as big of a prick in the world it is Johnny Fucking Stylez. Don't get your hopes up, not happening.
The video has been sent to him as the security guards rush up to me with their hands on their radios. These hacks cannot possibly be this stupid. Of course I didn’t expect Valora would say the stupid shit she had to say and make my job easier but I was wrong.
“You losers get 15 bucks an hour. Not worth doing something stupid.’
“God I wish we got 15.”
"That cheap bastard! He can't even pay a living wage. Call that bald bitch and tell him this is the price of fucking with me. This is the price of telling his shitty commentators to say the shit they said. Tell him he is lucky I didn't beat the shit out of them like I have done to other commentators who got out of pocket. This is the price for sending Cyclops after me. This fucking shit is on his head. And if he wishes to continue his ass is next. Tell him that and you can live."
“Yessir.”
Pissing off the Myth Killer has consequences. Consequences that Valora Salinas is about to feel in a very violent way. She is next to have a damned memorial show. She fits right in. People nobody ever gave a shit about that had zero talent that Johnny and I took turns beating the fuck out of. Bitch you ain't the first we took turns with. Ask Molly Mayhem.
Anybody who understands me understands that fucking with people is like my special ability. Fucking with Jesse Styes has become a bit of a hobby of mine for the last fifteen years. The fact that Valora likes to think things that are simply not true is a side benefit. Let us delve into the truth about this company and what all of these things mean. Don’t worry Valora, I will speak slowly and use small words so your stupid ass can get the damned point.
Valora Salinas is a stupid bitch. She always has been and always will be. She says all kinds of stupid shit on the daily. This is why literally nobody gave a fuck when she came back to NEW. Nobody gave a fuck about her stupid stable that is a footnote in the history of this fucking company that I God Damned built before she slut walked into it. She needs to realize she means nothing. She is not a nostalgia act because nostalgia acts are something that people at one time gave a fuck about. She needs to understand that nobody gives a shit.
It is probably a good time to talk about the whole prison thing. Yes it was a test for you stupid mother fuckers. Mostly it was a test for Jesse Styles. He told me constantly before this stupid contract was signed, that he had changed. That people grow. Things in the past remained in the past. He told me a lot of shit. Being the untrusting prick that I am, I tested it. Sometimes you have to give a lying prick enough rope to hang himself.
When prisons go out of rotation in the system they are put up for auction at a bargain price. You can get an out of rotation prison for a steal. Prisons go out of rotation for several reasons. Sometimes the condition of the facility means that prisoners cannot be housed there safely. Sometimes a brand new prison is built so the old one becomes useless. Whatever the fucking reason I bought the mother fucker. Things can be bought that come in handy later.
Now to the other stupidity. People saying there is no way the state of Illinois would ever let that happen are the dumbest type of people, you know, females. The State of Illinois is one of the most corrupt states in the Union. Four of the last 10 Governors went to prison for corruption. Jesus Christ, George Ryan was put in prison for bribery. Otto Kerner was indicted for taking a fucking bribe. Oh but that could never happen? How fucking stupid are you people? A state with a history of taking bribes would never take a bribe?
I will get to that stupid bitch in a minute. Jesse Styles did exactly what he has always done. He has always tried to embarrass me in front of the world.. Even with his so called changes he did that same fucking thing. I allowed myself to be put in that situation with that prison smokescreen. He showed who the fuck he was one night in. He decided to feed lines to his idiotic commentating team to try to embarrass me. He only embarrassed himself with his stupidity and ignorance about the state the he fucking lives in. He also decided to get inside of the head of a dude who has no idea who he is fucking with. The blood is on his fucking hands not mine. Jeremiah Vastrix has no idea who the fuck he has messed with and what the fuck that person is capable of. This cyclops looking mother fucker does not realize I will pull the good eye out of his fucking head. Then his head will be stomped the fuck out until the fake eye drops from his brainless skull. A fucking laser? Maybe that's like a rumor or something. Jesus Christ, they say I don’t deal in reality.
The day is a bit warmer than expected in December. Chicago weather has become a bit tamer in the winter than in years past. The four guys that work for me are even dumber than Valora. Do you have any idea how fucking hard it is to find four people who are dumber than Valora Salinas? It’s not easy.
“Why are we here? Those people know what we did!”
“Those fucking morons know what we did so we could be here today. You never show all the cards in your hand. These clown ass mother fuckers think they have a clue. They figured out what I wanted them to figure out. I have no idea how I could have made it more fucking obvious.”
“What the hell do you mean?”
“If they are focused on the prison and the bullshit I fed them last week, they are not on alert to the real plan. These mother fuckers actually think Hunter By God Valentyne would ever let some flat foot in a blue shirt making 30 grand a year put me in prison? They would be in a fucking body bag. And if by some fluke of God that would ever happen, they think I would be happy about it? Making friends with the fucking warden? I would be beating the shit out of people and finding a way out. The one thing Johnny and I have ever agreed on is that we hate cops.”
“So what exactly are we doing here?”
“Paying our respects of course.”
The New Edge Wrestling headquarters is seen in the background and under my feet. Jesus this has been a long time coming. I knew the plan all along but a little distraction was necessary. These fucking people have no idea what is coming so a little slight of hand was necessary. Think of it like a double reverse in football. You get the defense going one way and you hit them the other with a big play. This, my bitches, is my big play. Well the first of many, anyways.
“What the fuck?”
“Exactly what the fuck you think it is. These dipshits need to be remembered since their lack of ability could not do that for them. I think I should say a few words.”
“Asshole!”
“And don't you fucking forget it. It is unfortunate Johnny is not here. He would enjoy this shit.”
“Dearly Beloved,
Fuck nobody here is beloved. Forget I fucking said that. Overrated hacks and me is more appropriate I guess. Oh well.
“We are gathered here with you two fucks having your flesh eaten my maggots who are choking on your irrelevance, we are here to celebrate your fucking mediocrity. Neither fucking one of you did anything in life to gain the attention you have gained when you thankfully left this mortal coil. You crossed the threshold with zero fucking talent and left the same. Enjoy your temporary celebrity while it lasts and enjoy an eternity of your loved ones being thankful you are gone. They do not have to listen to the stupid fucking shit that comes from your mouths. LA Kief and Frank Fineli this is your moment. The New Edge Memorial you do not deserve to be on. Words said about you that nobody fucking means. I am the one person who means every Goddamned word of disrespect I can utter. May your soul rot in the everlasting torment your stupidity put us through when you stupid bitches were alive.”
“Now a few words for the stupid bitch I Must lower myself to face in a New Edge ring in St. fucking Louis. I dedicate this match to you dipshits. Let’s face facts, Frank Fucking Fineli and LA Queef were not known for success, either in life or career. This memorial stands here to respect your mediocrity and that is an affront to the people who are actually good. So I dedicate my performance to you bitches in victory so you can smile for ten seconds before Satan starts torturing you morons all over again. He will probably make you watch a Valara Salinas promo. There is not worse torture than that.”
“Everyone seems to be focused on the past. Miss Salinas seems to be focused o a past of regret. She brings up La Dolce Vita because she is the only fucking person that footnote in NEW means a fucking thing to. Even the people who were in it do not remember being in it. It was another failure for this dumb cunt. Ask anybody if they even know who was in that fucking abortion? Nobody gives a shit just like nobody gives a shit that you are here. You mean more to you than you ever did to anyone else. Nobody gives a fuck you beat Slater five years ago. You have a problem with the present. You have a problem with the fact i was beating the fucking shit out of your slutty ass until some dipshit got involved. Brag about your stupid tainted win all you want. Now you have to stand in front of me all by yourself. You have to get the fucking job done without anyone to save your bitch ass. You are very soon to be the third person on the NEW Memorial because I am going to kill your bitch ass.”
“Sir, shouldn't you do some sort of flashback or tell people what you did ten minutes ago? Isn’t that the way things are done?”
“Not by people who know that the fuck they are doing. But that cunt never could focus on the present. Nobody gives a shit what you did five years ago, five seconds ago, or ten minutes from now. You are very much Like Kief over here and Finelli. The only way people will ever give a shit about you is when you fucking die. I will be glad to help your slutty ass on that fucking journey.
“You the bitch that tried to define success and failed at it. You think those little accomplishments are impressive? If my only claim to fame was two TA Titles and one world title I would fucking kill myself. Yet you call a man a failure who has accomplished far more than you ever have and ever will. Would that not make you the fucking failure? It is okay, though. I expect a stupid bitch like you to not know any better. Bring those meager accomplishments to Johnny and he will laugh in your fucking face. Now it is time to christen this exhibit.”
The big man standing beside me hands me a sledgehammer. It is a little better than a cross, don’t you think? The man steps back as the two men in uniforms are laid the fuck out. Yeah that is exactly what would happen if someone ever tried to put me in prison. Stupid fucks.
A mighty swing takes down the top part of it as the concrete comes flying off of it. The men are ducking the debris coming off of it as a smile comes across my face for the first time in a long time. I love pissing these dipshits off. Another dude is filming the ceremony from his damned phone.
Another nice swing takes down the middle section of the monument that Jesse looks like he made inexpensively like the cheap ass cunt that he is. It turns to powder and chunks of concrete fairly quickly. This is pretty much what it's going to look like in St. Louis after I am done with that ugly bitch. The exhibition is left in shambles as the phone is rapidly handed to me. The shock on that bald bitch’s face would be nice to see.
“Hey, mother fucker!”
“Me?”
“Yes you, you fat fuck. Hand me the fucking phone.”
The phone is in my hand as I find the right contact information. I just could not resist sending this shit to him. Granted, our relationship is complicated but if anyone could appreciate what was done it's him. If there is just as big of a prick in the world it is Johnny Fucking Stylez. Don't get your hopes up, not happening.
The video has been sent to him as the security guards rush up to me with their hands on their radios. These hacks cannot possibly be this stupid. Of course I didn’t expect Valora would say the stupid shit she had to say and make my job easier but I was wrong.
“You losers get 15 bucks an hour. Not worth doing something stupid.’
“God I wish we got 15.”
"That cheap bastard! He can't even pay a living wage. Call that bald bitch and tell him this is the price of fucking with me. This is the price of telling his shitty commentators to say the shit they said. Tell him he is lucky I didn't beat the shit out of them like I have done to other commentators who got out of pocket. This is the price for sending Cyclops after me. This fucking shit is on his head. And if he wishes to continue his ass is next. Tell him that and you can live."
“Yessir.”
Pissing off the Myth Killer has consequences. Consequences that Valora Salinas is about to feel in a very violent way. She is next to have a damned memorial show. She fits right in. People nobody ever gave a shit about that had zero talent that Johnny and I took turns beating the fuck out of. Bitch you ain't the first we took turns with. Ask Molly Mayhem.