Post by lajohnnystylez419 on Dec 14, 2023 15:20:00 GMT -6
…Come on yall, yall know how th song goes!!!!
Eh
Sunflower by Post Malone plays in the back ground as we find ourselves with a view over behind the shoulder of the majority owner and operator of New Edge Wrestling. Ignite has come and gone and Jesse is walking around taking care of the last minute details that he is required to see to at the end of every show. BUt as he walks up to the merch people to pay them he asks them
They shake their heads no and he continues on with his stack of pay checks. We watch him hand out every single one. The ring crew, the announcers, some of the wrestlers that hung out till the end, the production guys, the camera dudes…EVERYONE! After JEsse hands the last check to Vince Walters he asks them the same question he asked everyone else
“...YOU SEEN JOHNNY?”
Vince shakes his head no, so Jesse removes his phone and texts him
“WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU AT?”
He waits a few moments he figured this time was gunna be like all the other times where if he even got a txt back at all it would be so far after the fact Jesse probably forgot the question…But much to his surprise he got an ALMOST an immediate response(which for those of you that know is something of a VERY VERY EARLY CHRISTMAS MIRACLE) Even so Jesse had to hold the phone up closer to his face to make sure he wasn’t trippin…But he realizes its the genuine article as the brief response let’s Jesse know exactly where he is as he holds his phone down and we see the words…
Jesse shakes his head laughing as he almost forgot about the WAR ROOM.
Scene then switches to Jesse walking down the halls of a now empty Edge Arena. He walks up to a wall and presses on the it lightly and suddenly we see a light turn on and the wall becomes a fucking DOOR! Jesse enters it and we hear Sunflower by Post Malone play even louder than it has been this entire time. Jesse makes his way into what some people have in their homes that are now commonly referred to as “MAN CAVES” but the COUSINS STYLEZ(S) are more than men…SO this isn’t a man cave people this is a
There are three flat screen TV’s hanging on the wide side of the wall directly underneath the other. There are arcade games, air hockey, foosball. A full bar that has an enormous ice chest sitting on top of it. Four large black lazy boy chairs a long black leather couch and some bean bag chairs as well. The room is full of smoke and reeks of the POI…We mean seriously there is so much smoke Jesse thinks there may be a fire…SO he calls out to his cousin who is playing darts. Along the wall closest to the door there are four dart boards. Only the boards themselves have faces of several NEW stars. Nocturnal, Roger Wright, Valora Salinas and that’s right…YOU GUESSED IT BLAIR BUCHANNAN, and as Johnny hears his cousins call he lets a dart fly that winds up sticking right in the center of Blair’s forehead!
Jesse Styles: Johnny?? Are you in here asswipe?
LA Johnny Stylez: You couldn’t tell by the smell?
Jesse Styles:Well in my defense I have been around your stupid ass all night so I think it is safe to say that I’m used to it, so to answer your question asshole NO! The ENTIRE EDGE ARENA SMELLS LIKE THAT, and it pains me to say that I can only see it getting worse with you being THE MOTHER FUCKING 7 TIME NEW CHAMPION!!!! UP TOP MAN
Johnny and Jesse smirk at one another as Johnny extends his hand and daps up his oldest friend in the world. Johnny of course was standing with the NEW Championship draped over his shoulder. But after his cousin’s acknowledgement I guess Johnny was struck with a tiny tingle of sentimental and pulled the elaborate perfectly F’N BEAUTIFUL
12 year after all is a sizeable chunk of time. But here we are all over again. Johnny’s EGOORGASAM subsides as thoughts of what holding that TItle meant for him moving forward. A lot was going to be demanded of him thai time. This is a different time entirely, it has been a long ass time since New Edge Wrestling was spoken about like the feature orginization that it was in it’s heyday. But those days are gone now, had a great time, but the memories will always be right where we leave them, which is good because if things keep going Johnny and Jesse’s way there supreme attention will go to creating many, many…OH SO MANY MORE!
All these thoughts swirl around in his head, as he realizers he may have eaten too many edibles, but it was too late to start acting like a BABY BACK BITCH NOW, there was a night of sweet sexy sin and debauchery awaiting to erupt in some fancy neighborhood on the outskirts of the Windy City.
He looked up and saw his cousins mouth was moving, but he hadn’t heard a single word that fell from his lips. Johnny shakes his head and smacks himself across the face a time or two retuning himself to reality, Jesse of course notices this odd behavior but instead of confusion Jesse’s expression is one of
Jesse Styles: JOHNNY! EARTH TO ASSHOLE, IF YOU HAVE LITERALLY ANY SURVIVING BRAIN CELLS BLINK ONCE!!!
LA Johnny Stylez: Phuck YOU QUE BALL, better back up son! That’s the CHAMP you’re talkin to like that!
Jesse Styles: Johnny stop you know good and got damn well CHAMP or not if I got something to say that you DEFINITELY NEED TO HEAR, I’ll say it and then we let the chips all where they may!
LA Johnny Stylez: Yeah, yeah BELIEVE ME I KNOW, you are one of the only people that I know that can claim to have as fine an understanding, respect, and deep appreciation for the art of ASSHOLERY! So, now that we are all caught up on current events, what in the phuck were you tryin to say a moment ago when my brain decided to take a joy ride through LA LA LAND?
Jesse Styles: Johnny really, it’s been years and people are still saying the same shit…MAybe it’s time to at least open yourself up to the possibility, that SOME…NOT ALL OF IT, I’m not sayin that don’t act or look at me like a bitch YOU KNOW WHAT THE FUCK I’M TALKIN ABOUT!
LA Johnny Stylez: Uhhh no JESSE I ACTUALLY HAVN’T A GOT DAMN CLUE WHAT YOU ARE BABBLING ABOUT! SO HOW ABOUT YOU SAVE US BOTH SOME TIME AND AGGRAVATION AND WE JUST SKIP TO THE IMPORTANT PARTS???
Jesse Styles: …These terms are agreeable…Still FUCK YOU…OK now you have your truce! SO what I was trying to say is man the first night is officially in the books and well the crowd was hot, not an empty seat in there. Kinda puts it all in perspective sitting here knowing the direction we need to go in from here, and Johnny got damn it I know it’s a promise we make ourselves every fucking time, but we cannot imploed or be derailed by the same mistakes we both have made a hundred times over in the past!...WE CANNOT YOU HEAR ME??
LA Johnny Stylez: Yeah bitch I’m like four steps away from you and you are pretty much yelling! I mean I told you I had a feelin. It still may be a little too early to call it, but I’m with you man I like what I see so far…For the most part anyway. There is more than enough potential in this lot then there have been in previous goes at this, which does nothing confirm the fact that eventually lead to our reconciliation and successful reunion, that with you and I at the helm guiding this company on a path we charted has seen this company in it’s greatest moments. And basically rasslin needs savin, and who phuckin knows maybe after some serious time of whippin these lil
But for now for the moment all they know is what they need to know…NEW EDGE WRESTLING IS
SO yeah that is where my head is at! I mean you and I as carefully as we planned and executed this thing on Roger here tonight we still have no got damn clue what awaits us on the road ahead. I mean where in the phuck did Roger even vanish off to? I mean the match ended I looked up and he was gone before I could catch one of his tears in a vile I brought for that very reason…Boy if I wasn’t just informed my 12 year streak had just ended I woulda been kinda
…Ya know?
Jesse Styles: As funny as you think that was and you are Johnny you and I have come too far down this road to let something or someone like Roger Wright to be easily dismissed only to lurk up again most likely at the worst possible time and winds up raiing shit down on us…
LA Johnny Stylez: K, so what? You wanna kill him? TOLD YA THIS DAY WOULD COME!! OK, well cool I know a guy…Actually I know like a hundred guys…K so how shoul…
Jesse Styles: YEAH NO…JOHNNY! JOHNNY STOP! NO WE ARE NOT GOING TO HAVE ROGER WRIGHT KILLED! There is something WRONG WITH YOUR BRAIN BRO! NO, it’s just we won…Yes and a decisive victory it was at that, but still watch our back because like you said we will most likely have our hands full with the problems we aren’t even aware of yet. But this is the cost of achieving what you and I agreed to achieve this go round yes?
LA Johnny Stylez: STILL MEAN EVERY FuCKiN WORD!!! No worries QUE BALL it’ll be months of BLUNTS AND BABY RUTHS…JUST YOU WAIT! But by the by…Are you going to tell me whatever it is you haven’t wanted to tell me since you walked into the room? And before you say anything just remember I know you bitch….So best we get on with it huh?
Jesse Styles: Well first why don’t you tell me what the hell you are in here watching?...You’re not jerkin off to your old matches are you? Cause uh…that is not what I had this room built for sir!
LA Johnny Stylesz: You must have me confused with Hunter, which at this point I don’t even know how that is possible, but I am not going to waste any more than the breath I already have on the subject of that DELUSiONaL BLOCKHEAD PROFESSIONAL CHOKE ARTISTS…and not the kind that pay me a monthly fee so they can choke whatever they got to one of my LaDIEZ Besides nevermind what I’m watching it’s old shit…
Jesse Styles: Wait hold up…Is that BLAIR? When the hell is this even from?
LA Johnny Stylez: It was actually believe it or not the last time I saw her before she arrived to the arena for the show earlier today. It has been years now, and honestly I thought I’d be like ok with seeing her. BEcause believe me when I tell you let’s take a moment and pretend that the last time I walked away from this business I sunk my money into an occupation that keeps me literally up to my elbows in
I gotta say given the way her last run ended…Which is what I’m watching here presently. Would you judge me if I told you I still to do this day really have no phucking clue if I enjoyed doing this or not?...I mean as always she left me NO OTHER CHoICE, I just know our paths will cross sooner or later, honestly I thought she would have a better showing in the rumble, but we do need to not be so harsh after all she aint as limber, as spry, or
She made her choice in OPW, and she forced my hand. Everything I owned in the world was sunk into Outlaw Pro Wrestling, and really one or six bottles of SIROC or whatever dumb ass she she drinks that turns her into a literal RAVING LUNATIC who wants to torch anything and everything in sight down to the
So I mean I gotta face her sooner or later right…? I just really hope it aint any…
Jesse Styles: Yeahhhh about that, Johnny uhhh…
LA Johnny Stylez: Please tell me that by UHHHH you don’t mean booked me against Blair on the first got damn show after this one here?...Pretty please!
Jesse Styles: Well see what had happened was…
LA Johnny Stylez: Really bruh, we been up and down these streets…literally around the world together…And you are still tryina hit me with the…
…OK, run it to me again, I guess take it from the top?
Jesse Styles: Right…so uh….see what uh had happened was, you gotta look at this shit from a promoters perspective. I hate to say it out loud but booking shows was easier week to week almost because for now until the TV deal goes through we are limited to one show a month…
SO each has to matter. We reminded why they tuned in once upon a time…Now it’s time we remind them of who the best is. And the best way for us to accomplish this is to give them main events that don’t need too much build based on ya know extenuating circumstances.
LA Johnny Stylez: Wait see can I get you to hold up there CuZ, to make sure we are on the same page is that you basically were left no choice…
Jesse Styles: Yup!...YEAH THAT! Yeah NO CHOICE!!! THey SURE DIDN’T!!!
LA Johnny STylez: SO you’re sayin since Blair’s and my last split and actually very quiet and private divorce are one of those…WHat were the words you so eloquently used…
SO what you are trying to tell me in a very classy way(don’t mind the SMELL that’s just SARCASM) that the possibility of our real life issues with each other spilling out onto the stage like they have so many times before, giving IGNITE a damn good match they should be charged to see, but for the sake of the brand I really agree we should def use this as much to our advantage as possible…The people want a show, Jesse that is EXACTLY WHAT THE PHUCK WE FINNA
Ohhh and I like totally keep forgetting to mention that I not only agree with your reasons for booking this match, and as THE ONCE AGAIN GUIDING LIGHT oF New EdFe WRESTLING, this feels like it honestly needed to happen so much the Universe manufactured the venue and now a date is set, and thanks to some HEADS UP, from some of the nerds who work for you I had a feeling you might lean towards this one. And really couldn’t happen at a better time, because every…and I do mean
EVeRy F’N TiME I FaCE THIS F’N CUNT…THe OnLy ThING PaiNFULLy OBVIoUS ABoUT ALL oF THiS iS THaT UNdERNeaTH THe MaKe UP of this new let’s be nice and call it a PeRSoNa.?..ALTER EGO?…MonIKeR?…WHATEVER!!!! Point is once again the universe has brought us to face each other after all that has happened between us, because I’ll admit it to you like I admitted it to her and everyone with ears and eyes at the time, the closest thing I believe I have ever come to experience that INFAMOUS HUMAN EXPERIENCE called being in LOVE it was indeed with Blair Buchanan…Only the operative word in all of that boys and girls is of course
Because after hearing her talk, after seeing her out in the ring with Hunter…And then well exactly ten minutes after your people called me and informed me the booking was official I actually came here to watch this to see something for myself. Cause yeah when I saw her for the first time it kinda freaked me out..But the more she talked…as always
SHe is still as delusional as she always has been, which is all the proof I or anyone else with a single strand of common sense needs to know that the only thing that has changed for Blair between then and now is her
…ANd you know me Jess I’ve never had a problem putting mother phuckers in their places, just because I foolishly thought I loved her once isn’t and never was enough to change that so the only thing we can do at this juncture is go out have our match and then hopefully all the blood of hers I spill opens up enough room so that the information doesn’t get lost this time.
Jesse Styles: Wait hold the fuck on there BUSTER…DId you just say you knew I booked you against Blair?
LA Johnny Stylez: Uhhh, yes I guess I did say that outloud…MY B!
Jesse Styles: HOW the HELL DID YOU KNOW>..and MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU GIVING ME SHIT FOR IT?
LA Johnny Stylez: Jesse…CALM DOWN! Look go over to the corner over there I refilled it for you about an hour ago…No baby ruths but there is a shit ton of BUDWEISER!
Jesse Styles: FUCK YOU I DON’T EAT BABY RUTHS!
LA Johnny Stylez: Since when?
Jesse Styles: FUCK YOU!...ANd here I’m not drinking alone!
LA Johnny Stylez: UHHH YES YOU PHUCKING ARE!!!
Jesse Styles: NO I’M NOT DICKBRAIN! You just won your seventh NEW title now quit being a little bitch, change your dress, and leave this little tea party you are at and come have a man’s drink!
LA Johnny Stylez: Aw hell might as well…Especially considering the night ahead of us!
Jesse Styles: Ill drop by for a few…but we can talk about all that later. I guess I need to watch this OPW shit with you so I can at least get an idea of just how badly Blair wants to fuck you up!
LA Johnny Stylez: OK…but..Yeah well you know me so…Here just watch it for yourself!
Johnny presses the play button and we some of us join the two cousins watching this again while some fans are seeing it for the very first time…Now we are going to stop here and warn you…This is kinda tough to watch…So good luck….you’ve been warned!
[ Vhodka then looks up at Johnny like he has lost his mind after that fast three count. Vhodka stands up and waves her hands in front of Johnny's eyes as we hear her ask..."DUDE HOW BLAZED ARE YOU?...You KNOW WHICH ONE OF US IS WHICH RIGHT?" Johnny rolls his eyes and is aggravated enough that he doesn't bother warning Vhodka about Blair making it back to her feet. Blair quickly runs up wraps her arms around Vhodka Marie's waist lifts and hits a beautiful stalling German suplex that dumps Vhodka onto her neck and shoulders. Blair points to the entire audience and then motions for them all to kiss her ass as she grabs Johnny's face and plants a huge kiss on him as the crowd only BOO's louder and louder...Johnny then motions to Blair that Vhodka is getting up to her feet when she grabs his ass and presses her index finger to his lips and says...I'LL be RIGHT BACK LOVER!" And Blair runs over and just as Vhodka makes it to her feet Blair runs right past her hits a jumping handspring into the ropes where she has her feet bounce her off the top rope to where she comes back around jumps up and drops Vhodka with a cutter her version of the LETHAL INJECTION she calls the ]
[ Mason Moore ]: AND BLAIR BUCHANNAN-STYLEZ with a BEAUTIFUL PHOTO OP to Vhodka Marie damn near in the center of the ring! And did you see all of those cameras flashing?
[ Taj Escobar ]: I don't know why anyone would want to capture this bullshit moment in time because watching these two cheat their way to victory on top of victory is just making me sick to my got damn stomach!
[ VooDoo ]: Ohhh don't you worry Taj...I think you'll find it gets infinitely interesting from here!
[ Taj Escobar ]: GOT DAMNIT WILL YOU JUST SPIT OUT WHAT YOU KNOW?
[ VooDoo ]: I know this match is going to be an amazing match,...I mean come on....Blair Buchannan-Stylez and Vhodka Marie...If that doesn't say epic HO down...I don;'t know what does...And how quaint it's all for the Southern Championship!
[ Mason Moore ]: Voo...Did you get into Johnny's stash or somethin!
[ VooDoo ]: I'll take OR SOMETHING for 500 ALEX!
[ Blair rolls Vhodka over with her boot and doesn't even bother to drop down and cover her instead she just holds her boot on Vhodka's chest as she raises her hand in the air...But a moment goes by...and then another and then another...and she realizes by now she should have heard a bell ringing and the audience booing and that fat bastard with the mic over there informing everyone that she was still the OPW Southern Heavyweight Champion but all she heard was the sound of stupid Las Vegas wrestling fans stuffing their faces yelling at the people preforming in the ring like they had any right to yell at anyone about anything. Blair's eyes look around for her husband who is in the corner tying his show and playing on his phone. Blair shrieks so loud even the people in the locker room could hear her.... ]
?JOHNNY WHAT IN THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?
...CHECKING MY FANTASY TEAMS???
[ Apparently that wasn't an acceptable answer as Blair storms over grabs the phone and throws it into the 7th row. Johnny is laughing his ass off as Blair doesn't seem to quite grasp the humor so she asks...WHAT'S SO FUNNY? Johnny grabs the turnbuckle as he was trying so hard to catch his breath as he says....THAT WAS YOUR PHONE!!!! Blair doesn't know what he was on but she had seen and heard enough. She rares back her hand and ]
!!!!!!!BAM!!!!!!!
SHE SLAPS HER HUSBAND CLEAN ACROSS THE FACE!!!
[ Johnny lets his head hang for the briefest of moments as he is almost in disbelief over what has just happened. He laughs to himself as Blair stands over him and yells...NOW DO YOUR FUCKING JOB ASSHOLE! I WANNA GET THE HELL OUT OF THIS SANDBOX....IT ALWAYS SMELLS LIKE PEE HERE! The fans boo...but then suddenly cheer very loudly as Johnny takes his foot and throws it in front of Blair's back foot causing her to stumble...And just as Blair catches her footing she looks up and sees Vhodka Marie flying towards her and damn near takes her head off with a discus ROARING ELBOW. Blair smacks the mat as Vhodka walks over and shoves Johnny and says,...STAY THE FUCK OUT OF THIS DOUCHE BAG! Vhodka turns around in just enough time to eat a HELLUVA KICK from Blair Buchannan-Stylez! Vhodka spins around as Blair wraps her arms around Vhodka's waist and runs her into the corner turnbuckles. Vhodka's boobs smash against the padded steel as Blair tries to roll them backwards, but before Blair's momentum can complete the final part of the turn Vhodka Marie stops, grabs both of Blair's legs turns around and locks her in her version of the SCORPION DEATHLOCK she calls the... ]
[ Mason Moore ]: AND VHODKA MARIE HAS BLAIR BUCHANNAN-STYLEZ LOCKED IN THE SCREWDRIVER!!!
[ Taj Escobar ]: Why in the hell does she call it that?
[ VooDoo ]: I could hazard a guess or two!
[ Taj Escobar ]: Would either of them be accurate?
[ VooDoo ]: Depends on who you ask!
[ Mason Moore ]: AND LOOK BLAIR WAS FINALLY ABLE TO REACH OUT AND GRAB THE BOTTOM ROPE THAT KNEE OF HERS HAS TO BE KILLING HER! Uhhh Johnny?....What the...
[ VooDoo ]: WAIT FOR IT...
[ Taj Escobar ]: HOLY.....FUCKING.....SHIT......WHAT IN THE HOLY HELL IS GOING ON HERE!!!
[ Johnny walks over to where his wife's hand is gripping the bottom rope. He looks at her face squinched in pain as he can see the pain in her knee coursing through her entire body driving her mad. She is waiting for him to call for a rope break, but instead he looks at his wife balls his hands into fists and holds them right underneath his eye lids and makes a CRYING motion with his hands as he then takes one step and kicks Blair's hand off of the rope as the entire arena is stunned silent. Once Vhodka no longer feels the tension she assunmes Blair let go and pulls her toward the center of the ring and really sits down on it. Blair fights it as long as she can until she can stands it no more and then furiously slaps her hand against the canvas tapping out as the DoN oF Di$Re$PeCT calls for the bell asthe fans are almost too shocked to roar in approval! But the moment Royal Powerhouse does this.... ]
[ Royal Powerhouse ]: HERE IS YOUR WINNER AND THE NEWWWWWWWWWWW OUTLAW PRO WRESTLING SOUTHERN HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION VHHHHOOOODDDDDKKKAAAA MAAAARRRRRIIIIEEEEEEE!!!!! BBBBRRRRROOOOOTTTTHHHHEEEERRRRRRRRR
Scene then quickly cuts back to Jesse and Johnny drinking their beers watching the bitter end to Blair’s run in OPW. Jesse’s eyes are wide as he looks over at his cousin who has his face buried in his hands and he is already shaking his head before Jesse can even get the words out of his mouth.
Jesse Styles: WOW…just wow!
LA Johnny Stylez: I KNOW BRO!...But like I said she left me no choice!
Jesse Styles: Well at least she seems to have recovered since all this, but still damn GOT DAMN, what is wrong with you?
LA Johnny Stylez: Honestly I have no phucking clue the jury is still out. But yeah I haven’t watched this in a while, I kinda forgot how uh…hmm whats the word…?
Jesse Styles: Brutal? Savage? Cold Blooded?
LA Johnny Stylez: Well actually I was thinking genius but yeah those work too I guess!
Jesse Styles: Well since you are in here preparing when there is literally a party in your honor anxiously awaiting your arrival I am going to go ahead and assume you have a plan on how to deal with this?
LA Johnny Stylez: You know me so well!
Jesse Styles: You know what I know whatever it is is probably going to be the source of at least five of my headaches leading up to the next show…So I’ll only ask how worried should I be?
LA Johnny Stylez: What you? Ohh you don’t need to worry at all…Blair on the other hand, well let’s just say she’ll get all the closure she can CHOKE down…You can call that a promise if you’d like!
Jesse Styles: What did you do?
LA Johnny Stylez: Thought you didn’t wanna know?
Jesse Styles: Well fuck now Im curious!
LA Johnny Stylez: Let’s just say by the time it’s all said and done with Blair will look back on what we just watched and realized that was when she had it good! But don’t you worry there Mr. Styles everything should be much clearer by tomorrow afternoon sometime.
…Maybe 5 o’clock? Maybe sooner? Guess we will leave that shit up to FATE. But I believe the time has come to get to that party so people can help me celebrate…ME! It’s gunna be a good night and probably morning as well…
Jesse Styles: Johnny…
LA Johnny Stylez: Yeah bud?
Jesse Styles: You really are the worst!
LA Johnny Stylez: That just might be the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me!..You comin or what CUE BALL we are burning Moonlight!
Jesse Styles: Man my wife is gunna fuckin kill me!
LA Johnny Stylez: Well I guess the good news is, she will probably kill me as well, man I really hope she gets to you first!
Jesse Styles: Yeah actually before we leave you may wanna stop and actually pray that happens! But shut up and let’s go before my senses return and remind me of what happens every time I follow you into a “GOOD TIME”
LA Johnny Stylez: Very well sir, let us be on our way!
ANd with that the two cousins go to leave but before they walk out the door Jesse stops Johnny as Johnny turns around and sees his cousin walk back over to the huge ice chest filled to the brim with BUDWEISERS! Jesse grabs, 2, no 3…no 4…UNtil Johnny calls out to him…
LA Johnny Stylez: Just bring the whole bitch…It’s GuNNa Be
…You can’t come obviously, but you can stream it live which is all most of you TIKTOK obsessed dildos needs for a good time these days! EW…Seriously EW!!! But anyway…See yall in the MoRnInG…
Jesse walks up carrying the large ice chest and he sets it down right where Johnny is standing and with a confused look on his face he asks..
Jesse Styles: Bro who in the fuck are you talking to?
Johnny doesn’t say anything he just nods towards the camera and Jesse turns and looks into and then right back at Johnny rolling his eyes he rebuttals…
Jesse Styles: You’re doing this now?
LA Johnny Stylez: Uhhh, yeah you do know where we are headed don’t you?
Jesse Styles: K…good call, I’ll see you out there, but don’t take all night!
LA Johnny Stylez: Who me? I don’t know what you mean by that and Im also inclined to take offense!
Jesse Styles: Whatever you’re dumb BYE!!!!
Johnny smirks at his cousin as he stops and once again holds his NEW Championship belt in front of him and he just glares at it. It’s almost as if for the first time in a very long time things just make more sense now. We see the million thoughts shoot through his mind as he reaches in his pocket and removes a pack of LUCKY’s.
He opens the pack and pulls one of the cigarette butts up as he puts his lip on it removing it from the pack. He cups his hands and we see that trademark 4:19 ZIppo as he flicks the top off and shoots the flame up like a pro. He lets the flame gently rake across the edge of the tightly rolled and filtered tobacco.
He takes a drag and exhales the smoke through his nostrils and then briefly turing to the camera, he takes another quick drag before blowing the smoke out intot he camera lens as he then begins to do what he does way better than anyone you KNOW…
LA Johnny Stylez:...Yall walk with me people!!!
Johnny then nods and turns and takes one last look of the final moments of Blair’s OPW career he was watching on YOUTUBE a few moments ago, and he glares at it for one more moment before grabbing the remote and turning the TV off. He tosses the remote on the couch and then leads us out of the NEW GEntlemen’s room.
Johnny has HIS…WE SAID HIS NEW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP title slung over his shoulder. He has his cigarette hanging from his lips as he stops right when we reach the double doors leading outside. He goes to open the door, but stops and then turns to the camera once again and here we go again.
LA johnny STylez: Blair “MoTHeR PHuCKiN” BuCHaNNaN…
You have once again pulled yourself up by your bootstraps and hair extensions and have once again found a way to wonderfully and
Which yay hooray for you, it’s not like you left yourself much of a choice now did ya PuMPKiN??? And well after doing this I dunno probably at the very least five times before I don’t see that there is anyway HUMANLY PHUCKING PoSSiBLE you can still be bad at it. Cause I’m afraid the topic of conversation is going to be what is always winds up being between you and I.
Knowing you as well as I do, I can say with nothing even resembling doubt that this may very well be your least favorite topic of all time, well aside from fat people of course, but that was supposed to be implied. SO with fat people apparently taken out of play that only leaves one glaring and also painfully obvious choice. SO what’s this topic MiSSeS BuCHaNNaN despises oh so very much?...Yall may have heard of it before it’s a little teeny tiny thing called
But I find myself in a very unfortunate circumstance you see?...Of all the things I may be, and believe me I’ve probably been called them all. But one thing I really don’t even like about myself is I just so happen to be a
ANd ya know what ya silly little bitch you aere LIKE SO PHUCKING LUCKY you done phucked around and caught me in a sentimental mood! Because even though there is a voice screamin in the back of my head right this very moment telling me to no waste the time or the effort.
But like I said I am a slave to the truth. If you would like more proof ontop of the multiple ass whoopings and other various humiliations you have suffered at my hands, then find I’ll show you right now. You want the truth Blair? I know I shouldn’t but I am going to do you a solid and tell you where you have gone wrong so many times before. Why you always manage to always just miss the mark. You either arrive too phucking late or
ANd why would I do that so close before a match to where you could possibly learn from what I tell you and apply it…But uh, is there a polite way of saying…
But all of that aside, there was once upon a time I believed you and I really were gunna make it to happily ever after. If you would have asked me then I probably would have said yes I absolutely was in love with you. The first time it ever happened it was you too! But you have time and time again just as you have every phucking time in your life professionally or personally.
It’s almost you like tripping over your own feet and literally doing a gpot damn face plant right on the perfect little world you worked tirelessly trying to phucking build! In most circles CRaZy LaDy…THE MEDICAL ONES more specifically those who continue to do the same shit and expect different results…Well according to that one book, I know you haven’t read it but I know you’ve heard of it it’s called
ANd look I don’t care where you went to get your “FRESH PERSONA” make over, and wait hold on let me guess. DO I even dare think it possible that Blair Buchannan be
He isn’t in your usual circle of beaus no…IF you are going for the repackage routine you need something new, but still of stature. I’m gunna go out on a limb and guess whatever phuckin putz you have carrying your purse these days is probably you’re phuckin agent or something. Because you know YEAH, TMZ reports constantly just how well that one has worked. I don’t give a phuck if you walked up in this bitch and you were dating
IN other words MAMA my hot dogg really
A few moments ago I said I USED To LOVE YOU…The operative words being “USED TO” you will do well to recgonize that places our love very much so in the past tense! I really wish I could say it’s not you it’s me, but please GET SERIOUS LADY!!! But at the end of the day your insane desire to torch your world to the ground every eight to twelve months is exhausting, expensive, and not to mention absolutely
…Real quick though do you prefer to be the pot or the kettle in this scenario? NeVeRMiND IT’s not important! What’s important is the lesson I am about to try and teach you the easy way ONE MORE PHUCKING TIME, before I literally have to pound it and the rest of your head into the NEW ring canvas at the end of this here yellowbrick road! The mistake you ALWAYS…That means without FAIL…
…And as you have found out time and time again, and as you will oh so every soon my sweet little peach is that little narrative of yours is no more real then ALICE’s
Let us take for instance your perspective of our marriage. I mean of course there are the others to consider, but even that is low hanging fruit even for me at this point. I only mention it because of your marriages as much as you might deny deny deny…Blair that is the MOMENT right there.
Because when else have you ever had it so good? The doors that perhaps should have been open to you from jump were all already wide open. You lived the life you truly had the life you have so desperately tried to build your entire life. You got what you wanted, you never saw a got damn price tag. You were promoted, put out front, allowed to show your vastly improved ring skills, and most importantly you were protected. Your enemies were
Because it has happened to you before, and I am promising you it is going to happen again IN THE NEAR AND CLEAR…DEAR! Because that is the thing you never could understand. You have probably joined the side of the legion of JOHNNY STYLEZ HATERS that say I’m “childish”, RUDE, “ObNiXiOuS”, IMMaTuRe” yadda yadda so on and so fourth. Well it’s funny because you assholes have been saying that shit for years yet here I stand once again with MY PRIZE…
WITH MY TANGIBLE PROOF THAT FORCES EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR STUPID ASSES WHETHER YOU WANT TO OR NOT TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE FACT THAT I AM THE NEW EDGE WRESTLING
And well I’d point out that this aint the first time either, but I believe I have adequately done so! So say what you will but my way has bared fruit that most of if not every single one of you would literally slit each others throat for the teeniest tiniest TASTE! It’s way my paychecks are bigger than yours BeeBz…It’s why my name is the fixture in the main event even after YEARS of hiatuses and breaks, or to put a finer point on it, you dear are in the MAIN EVENT at IGNITE because you are facing me
I’m the star and I always have been, it’s not my fault I’m more charismatic, entertaining, and violent than you are. But I made a decision long before I ever whiffed your seafood smelling Va-JaGE, that I was going to rise up and become a star and make sure this world doesn’t forget me even if it wanted to…
And my goal was to make them want to, because in my travels I have found that it does actually make it more gratifying if they wish they could ignore you but can’t! That Blair Buchannan is what you don’t grasp! It’s why you are stuck on the bottom rung and can’t pass go to collect your two hundred dollars! Because Blair Buchannan you don’t know what
I do because if risen to it on several occasions. Those are the matches that you typically go out of your way to completely and utterly phuck up beyond any possible means of recognition! Call me and think of me what you want Blair, some of this is shit you have to say.
Even if you were madly in love with me still I would probably die of shock if you came out and said that shit in front of God JESUS and EVERYONE ELSE INBETWEEN! But even if ya did my dear, as I was telling you a few moments ago that ship has sailed and went to the BAHAMAS where every single day not only am I literally up to my elbows in pussy, but now once again I am the NEW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!!! SO suffice to say
Because Blair I want you to know that I too have changed personally and professionally and that is why I believe my best work is still very much in front of me. I know what I’m fighting for now, and I know how to protect, grow, and guide it into a very prosperous future! SO you know what that means don’t you? Well if not I’ll tell you! See the main reason my former HONEY BRITCHES, is that the main reason it ultimatley won’t work between us anymore is because there is truly
You see the moment Tom Davis proclaimed the good news that was kinda bad news for everyone else on the NEW roster, but still good news because New Edge Wrestling has returned and is in VERY GOOD HANDS, but that was the moment I realized I could never say I love you and actually mean it. ANd well since we are all here I’d like to introduce you to my ONLY REAL TRUE
Johnny then slides the NEW title belt off of his shoulder and into his right hand that he holds up for Blair and everyone else to see. After a moment to where Johnny was confident Blair got a good enough look, he then fastens the belt around it’s waist and almost acts as if he was just warmly embraced feeling the soothing gentle touch that only comes from a LoVeR! He looks down and looks back up at the camera with the biggest shit eating grin you ever seen this dude make (which is truly saying something all things considered)
LA Johnny Stylez: I love this belt like a mother loves her children, and as any binge worthy TV show has taught us I like them are willing to go to whatever lengths to protect what I love. I’m talkin Cersi Lannister blowing up the sept of Balor and everyone in it! If you don’t get that reference stop being an idiot and looking up, it’s outstanding television! But Blair you know better than practically EVERYONE else what being the CHAMPION means to me.
But see one thing that I understand now that I didn’t then was that holding this…Being the NEW CHAMPION is bigger than just me. This is the pride of the wrestling empire we once again proudly reside, the top prize, the CROWN PHUCKIN JEWEL FOR PHUCKS SAKE, and in order for me to restore it’s meaning in all of it’s glory…and THEN SOME I am going to have to once again set the standard of what it means.
It means I have to climb in the ring against the best and walk back out the same way I went in…THE ACTUAL BEST! It also very much so unfortunately for you that I cannot come out on IGNITE and loose to phuckin
Which if this isn’t the moment then we are getting close to that point in these where I say three words of advice that more times often than not I have force fed a great number of people…But I can’t say them just yet because again UnFuGGINFoRTUnATLeY FOR YOU this tongue lashing isn’t the worst of it!
I have to win this match Blair, you are not nor have you ever been my superior it’s not even close all stats aside. The only thing you have truly proved over the course of your in ring career is that you are not fit to wear this title. To even try and sit here and fathom the dim and grim reality that would set upon NEW if you phucked around and wound up beating me for this belt…I am well aware our match at IGNITE is not for my prize, but that doesn’t mean I still don’t see it that way. I didn’t come all this way to drop the ball now to a bad reality TV star like
But it works out for you, because if you for once decide to be smart this may be the most important LOSS and MOMENT OF YOUR ENTIRE LIFE BEEE! We did share something special once, and so I want you to truly know I am happy for you if you have decided to try and reinvent yourself, you did show a lot of promise in the ring in OPW! And really my dear were we in any other particular set of circumstances I would tell you that if you are truly happy then I am proud of and very happy for you! But once again
I am going to not only go out of my way to make sure you learn this final lesson I am forced to teach you. SO if you are looking, hoping, and praying for a silver lining there it is my lady! And please I want you to know I truly didn’t want to do what I did to you, but really there was no other way! This has to be done, because you and everyone else needs to be reminded of what happens when you CROSS the
Every single week I am going to climb inside of MY RING, and I am going to conduct my business the same way I always have. I will go to war for this company for the right to wear this belt around my waist, and you are very familiar with my tactics during WAR. The one thing I tried to teach you that you also failed to learn is that the best kind of victory, or as far as I’m concerned the PHUCKING ONLY kind of victory is
If you survive this, which I’m sure some small part of me actually hopes you do I hope you learn that the next time you step to me you had better be ready, more so than you may believe yourself to be now! Please know that this time specifically since you have proven just the asswhoopin itself isn’t strong enough to pound this info into your brain.
No this will require something else. SOme of my “OBniXiOuS CHILDiSh ANTICS.” BUt Blair I can confidently say that this time more so than ever you will find that perhaps what I did may fall under those categories the one thing my tactics and antics have proven to be more so than any of those words is
But… Ya know it’s been three years B, can you believe it? THree years since OPW came and went! Of course there were days where curiosity got the better of me, and I would try social media stalking as per the norm these days. And when I couldn’t find the information I was looking for, I found someone who did!
SO suffice to say Blair I did find that little LIFE REHAB you went to, and honestly from the little evidence at my disposal it was a fairly decent perhaps even good place! I hear you got a great deal out of it, as I stand here now preparing to wipe the thought of you standing across from me as a challenger from existence…
I can only hope it brings me the same fortune it brought you! But I guess we will see in the morning! SO if you can’t forgive me for whats coming, I understand and it is regrettable, but please know and understand this is WHAT I HAD TO DO. For not just me and my ego, ot even for just NEW, I did this for all of pro wrestling! ANd when its all said and done and you can’t bring yourself to understand or even respect that, then know you are every bit the fool I have been standing here making you out to be this entire time!
Now this is of course the instance I was referring to, but I still won’t say it yet…You will know when it’s time! Well alright kids, guess that wraps this shit up. I have the rest of an evening and the better part of a morning to enjoy! Guess I’ll catch you phuckin NERDZ on the FLIP SIDE!!!
Johnny then pushes open the door, but as he does suddenly his phone begins to ring. He stops and removes his phone from his pocket. He sees the name of the caller and his lights light up with excitement. He checks over his shoulder to make sure yall aren’t trying to be nosey as he answers the call…
LA Johnny Stylez: MY BOY! How the phuck are you?...Are you ready? Tomorrow is the big day?...GOOD! That’s great to hear! And don’t worry just like we talked about I GOT YOU! Yeah, I mean again they are in all likelihood going to arrest you, but I’ll have you out before the got damn sunsets! Now if you want to cash in on that very GeNeRoUS OFFER I made you then you have to do exactly what we already discussed and you agreed to down to the letter! You do that and all of your present problems will evaporate…
And this is me we are talking about here I’m not a LANNISTER but I always pay my phuckin debts! So we are good?...You sure you are ready to do this, because one thing I do not tolerate is failure especially as far as these things concerned, so let me one more time remind you that PHUCKING UP is the most hazardous thing to your health PRESENTLY…I find that it’s good to keep shit like that in mind…Well alright then man! Thank you again this is going to be…SPECTACULAR! Talk to you tomorrow, bye!
Johnny then hangs up the phone and looks into the camera and says absolutely NOTHING! He just peers into the camera with an arrogant smirk that suddenly has your stomach twisting in knots because you don’t know what’s coming, but given who we are dealing with, you can pretty much bet your money on it not being good…But we can burn that bridge when we get there!!
There is only one way the once again NEW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION was going to be spending this particular morning. It’s been 12 years and some change…Some change, funny we said that, because despite the opinions of has beens and never was complaining ab not getting spots they don’t deserve, that is precisley where we are heading. Which we will get into that more here in a bit. Right now you have to kick offf a beautiful morning such as this one we are glaring at this very moment.
We see a nightstand that has an ash trey, a pack of cigarettes, some random dollar bills and a small pile of powder on a glass mirror. Right next to that shit is a pair of wireless headphones that a hand reaches out and grabs momentarily. He sits up and despite our view being from behind we can see for ourselves it is The PaRaGoNa oF AMeRIKaNa HIMSELF. He sits up wearing a pair of black flannel pajama pants and no shirt. We see his brand new tattoo he got to commemorate his historic victory the night before. On his left shoulder is the word BAD and on the right GUY.
He opens the wireless headphone case removes the buds and pops one in each ear. He grabs his phone and pulls up his spotify, he pauses for a moment silently pondering what song should ring in the new era for him and pro wrestling as a whole. A arrogant smirk beams across his face as he shakes his head and allows his thumbs to scroll right on down to one of this planet’s finest musical compositions…It’s called
…K see yall in just a bit!
It’s early…like real phucking early! It’s that absolutely beautiful time of day when the last remaining spots of darkness finally give way to the baby blue sky of the morning, as sun beams begin to peak over the horizon, everything feels calm. As we open with an overview shot of a very large one story house right on the corner of what appears to be a very nice neighboorhood in Chicago.
There is a FOR SALE sign in the front yard that has the large red label on it letting you and everyone else know it had been sold. There are more cars then there is space in the driveway, as there are empty vehicles parked on the side walk and all the way half down the street.
The house looks modern with the elaborate architecture seen on all those stupid shows on HGTV. Which we only bring it up to point out that it really is a shame. This house was built to be the home of a nice white collar family. Where they could grow old and miserable together. Like this is the kinda house that hosts Thanksgiving every year. But all of that shit is completely out the window, because if you couldn’t tell by all the trash and shit scattered across the yard, and the dude who is passed the fuck out in the driveway face down butt ass naked with the signature of everyone who attended this little PAR-TAY written on him in permanent marker.
Which if you still don’t have enough pieces to put the puzzle together yourself, we will just go ahead and enlighten you…This house was purchased the Friday before IGNITE by the once again seven time NEW World Heavyweight Champion LA Johnny Stylez. His home is very much still right at the heart of the French QUater in New Orleans Louisiana, but with NEW being back open the Champ will more than likely be spending a fair amount of time here.
The house exists only for what you see the remains of on this beautiful Monday Morning. The scene then switches to the inside of the house where there are passed out barley clothed bodies all passed out literally all over the house. Some on the couch, some in the guest bed, and most on the floor. THere is party paraphernalia all over the pace. Empty or spilled red solo cups, at least three large mounds of beautiful sweet stinky Cali WEED!
As we view the home from room to room it goes without saying at this point that the party thrown here the night before was truly
…If you do then you obviously have never partied with him before, and you are a fuggin IDIOT at that! But as we go from room to room there is one room we haven’t been to,coincidentally belongs to the one face we haven’t seen scattered among the graveyard of the night before at the all night sex drugs and rock n roll CHAMPIONSHIP celebration.
The camera panda slowly down the hall way stepping over more garbage a few passed out dudes who have crazy shit drawn all over their faces , one guy has I LOVE COCK written on his right cheek, while the other has black round glasses painted around his eyes and on his right cheek is the word HARRY and on the left cheek…
Yup it says POTTER…THe door is almost within reach, but the final obstacle is one that we can’t help but stop and watch as one dainty blonde girl going down on another girl with dark black hair blue blue eyes and perfectly handcrafted round breasts. The blonde turns and looks at the camera and shatters the 4th wall asking a very appropriate question…
Blonde Rug Muncher: Uhhh DO YOU MIND???
I mean nevermind the fact that they are at the end of the hall way the only way to get into or from the room you have tpo step over them…But yeah it’s our fault! Whatever LADY we didn’t come here for this. We finally make it to the door and we see the knob twist and the door slowly creeps open. We see a huge 68’ flatscreen TV hanging on the wall to the side playing that’s right you guessed it…PORN!!!
It looks like a threesome, on the TV and in the bed as we see three female nude HINEYS neatly laying aside the other. We also notice that in this huge phuckin bed there is a pillow where someone else used to be. We look around the room but we don’t see him. We see lots of porn, and we see drugs, booze, and all other kinds of things that put the
The camera slowly makes it’s way around the room, until we get to a door that is slightly cracked open. The camera pushes its way inside and we see The PaRaGoNa oF AMeRiKaNa finishing getting dressed for the day. GIven what stopped transpiring here not two and a half hours ago it is a phucking miracle that Johnny is even able to stand let alone adequate execute the THREE S’s(ShIT SHoWeR, SHaVe for those of you keeping score at home)...
But he has clearly risen to the challenge and he looks like a Million BUCKS. He has a black perfectly fit tailor made Armani suit. He has a striking blue tie that brings out the cool blue of his own eyes, which he is quick to cover with his black thickrimmed RAYBANS. Johnny is texting someone, as we see on the TV in the bathroom the headline from what’s presently playing on FOXNEWS. The headline reads…
…YuP AnDDDDDD HeRE WE GO!!!!
Johnny turns around and faces the camera again. He quickly pulls his glasses down to the bridge of his nose so we can see his eyes. He puts the tightly rolled blunt he was smoking down and exhales a huge cloud of smoke as he looks up at the story unfolding live on a national news network! He then makes a loud hocking noise and then swiftly and sternly he spits into the sink and hits the blunt one more time. He puts the TV on mute for a moment and turns to the camera.
LA Johnny Stylez: This is the last thing I need you to understand LoVe, in order to make sure you and every other pair of eyes watching IGNITE understood that this isn’t the same LA Johnny Stylez just like it aint the same NEW. We’ve both gotten sharper, harder, and stronger in almost every single aspect. I had to prove to you that one of the main things that has changed about me is once upon a time you had me trumped on matters concerning being an actual celebrity.
Navigating that part of the country you are from where everyones sense of reality is so different from everyone elses on the planet it might as well be from a different one! But after years of being ontop of pro wrestling and New Edge Wrestling, then walking away becoming one of the most infamous smut peddlers in the history of smut and peddling, and then running, owning, and operating my own wresting promotion taught me a
So that is why the decision of what move to make was very clear. The message I send to you personally is the same one I send to the rest of them, Valora and anyone else who is foolish enough to staind in the PUBLIC ASSWHOOPIN LINE. And that message is very simple, coming for my gold comes at a cost…Because that is one thing WARS always do…COST, and I have had a very long and decorated military career, so much though I am presently in the middle of waging a WAR with you Blair on a different front…
On turf that will seem very familiar because it is what used to be your turf! You can’t beat me in my word, but now I have everything I need to destroy you in the one you retret to when things implode and explode for you here! ANd I wouldn’t have most of my tools and resources I am going to use to wage this war, if it wasn’t for you B!
ANd that my dear is how you learn from your mistakes and your successes. I am sorry about your little life rehab, I do understand that it really did help you and a great deal of others who went through there, and I didn’t take a lot of joy in seeing it destroyed but the only way the message can be sent and considered delivered is if you and everyone else acknowledges the gravity of the situation…
It perhaps really did help turn you into a better person who wants to be a better person, but in the name of New Edge Wrestling and the Title I carry I won’t bat a phucking eye lash to see it wiped from this world, as if it was never even there
SO like, if you are thinking now is the moment for me to say my favorite catch phrase I regret to inform you that while we are almost there it still isn’t the right time! The only thing you or anyone else needs to understand about what you are fixing to watch is that is exactly what happens to mother phuckers who PHUCK WITH THE BoURBoN STReeT BaD Guy!!! So instead of coming up with another clever way to bring it all home I’ll just tell ya like my MAN POSTY dun already told ya
…Now I return you to your previously scheduled SHIT SHOW!!!
Johnny grabs the remote and presses the unmute button. The news is on commercial as we hear his phone vibrating against the marble countertop in Johnny’s bathroom, he looks down and sees the name of the person calling and an evil smile creeps across his face as he goes to answer it, but pauses looks into the camera…DIRECTLY AT YOU and almost laughing he says…
LA Johnny Stylez: Answer the call ALEXA…
Then we see Johnny take a bluetooth device and he sticks it in his ear. THe moment Johnny answers the phone he holds up one finger towards the camera as if telling them to hold on for a moment, as he turns around and continues his conversation.
LA Johnny Stylez: Well if it aint Terry Dudley my 5th favorite keeper of the law! Do yourself a favor and tell me some good news!
Terry Dudley: Well actually you are going to be quite pleased. Every task you sent for our office to have completed, notarized, and properly scared away has been completed. Some of the papers still need your signatures but we can get those when we see each other later today!
LA Johnny Stylez: Even the last one?...Because none of this works if that dumb ass kid is still locked up!
Terry Dudley: He is in the process of bonding out now!
LA Johnny Stylez: PERFECT! So it is also safe to assume he made the video he was firmly suggested to make and it’s posted on every snapchat, twitter, twitch, instagram..All that? I’m at my place in Chicago I’m finna hop on a plane, so I’ll see yall out there in about three and a half to four hours…Make sure three are as many cameras as you can there…This is turning out to be quite the scandal, and since he did everything required of him and more I will just assume the money cleared his balance! GOOD!
Let’s wrap this shit up! Thank you and your firm Terry yall came in PHUCKKKINNNN CLUTCH! And don’t you worry I’ll see to it that you get your reward as well…So hold the fort down I am on the way, and for the love of God don’t do or say anything to phuck this up! Thank you again and Terry while you’re at it…
Terry Dudley: Yes sir Mr. Stylez we also were able to get in touch with our people over at TMZ they will be airing it for at least the next three episodes, ut I’m sorry I think my phone cut out or something what was that last thing you said? While I’m at what?...WHat did you say you wanted?
LA Johnny Stylez: NAh nevermind still too early…GooD WoRK Terry turns out you’re not as useless Josh Cole on a rap beat…or any beat for that matter! K well, I gotta get goin, just when the kid gets out YOU GRAB HIM and DON’T LET ANY OF THE PRESS GET TO HIM BEFORE I GET THERE, is that CLEAR?
Terry Dudley: It is indeed, Im heading that way now, see you soon Mr. Stylez thank you!
LA Johnny Stylez: Yeah yeah whatever, Ill call you when I land!
Johnny presses his power button on his bluetooth device and then once again unmutes the TV where we see two of FOX NEWS’s experts breaking down the information regarding this sudden disturbing situation as more and more pieces of the story seemingly roll in a few pieces at a time. Johnny removes his sports coat and rolls up the black sleeves on his shirt, he then grabs the jacket and slings it over his shoulder after fastening the NEW Championship around his waist.
Johnny surveys the wasteland that has engulfed the entire property and a few of his neighbors property as well, and he recalls what he can from the night before. He then puts his ear buds in and presses play on his phoe as Candy Paint by POST MALONE plays to where we can hear it. Johnny then makes his way towards the exit, and the further away he gets the more the volume os Post Malone’s song continues to dwindle until you can’t hear it at all. But Johnny was nice enough to leave the TV on so you all can hear the details about this scandal.
We look up at a screen cut in half, one of them is a reporter the other is a guy that used to work for Blair in OPW that she fired one day on a whim, and they are going over the details they have surrounding the events that took place earlier that morning.
Fox Reporter: And OK so now we are being told that the former child actor, named Jeffrey Blackpool, who most may remember from his brief stint that he worked in the wrestling promotion known as New Edge Wrestling. So anyway young Jeffrey who is twenty two now, and originally he was hired to play the son of Blair Buchannan then ex boyfriend who is now also her ex husband LA Johnny Stylez…I’m sorry Daniel I see you squirming around over there is there something you’d like to add.
Before the dude speaks the moment the camera cuts to this more than middle-aged bald guy with thick rimmed glasses and a Megadeath t-shirt on, whose name flashes up on the screen Which is Daniel Forrester, and directly underneath it reads FORMER OPW BACKSTAGE WORKER AND PERSONAL ASSISTANT TO BLAIR BUCHANNAN.
Daniel Forester: Yes I really don’t mean to interrupt but if your information says that young Jeffrey was brought into to play the role he did…Jeffrey was never officially under contract with New Edge Wrestling.
In pro wrestling naturally people always are drawn in by real life drama and so Blair trying to get ahead hired this kid without letting anyone know, and she stormed into the arena where NEW was that evening and Blair Buchannan then introduced Johnny Stylez, who was being played by Jeffrey Backpoolm Blair was intentionally attempting to make Johnny Stylez think thet he fathered a child he didn’t know about. And in complete retrospect it really didn’t last all that long, as Johnny Stylez brought young Jeffrey onto the Maurey Povich show and ran a DNA test that came back saying Stylez was indeed fact not the father,
Justin Bynes (FOX): Wait are you saying? Are you stating that Blair Buchannan in an attempt to win a wresting match tried to fool her ex into believing he had a kid he never knew about?
Daniel Forester: Yes sir that is exactly what I am I’m saying. I too had the unfortunate experience to work directly under Blair Buchannan, and from the stories I heard from my friends who worked backstage roles within New Edge that Blair always has been a nightmare to work for, it almost makes some of us wish we were working for Ellen Degeneresss again!!
Justin Byrnes: : Well one of the pieces of this very bizarre puzzle came in not to long ago, apparently after Mr. Blackpool took a torch to the Serenity Ranch, he then cut what many have described as a “wrestling promo” on his former employer for breaking their contract, not paying money he was owed by her, and then blacklisted from almost every major production company in Hollywood, preventing him from doing the very thing she hired huim for!!
Daniel Forester: When OPW first opened there was also the controversy where Blair told her own daughter live on TV that she no longer cared to be her mother, and so she signed the legal papers releasing her from any more parental obligations, and her poor daughter was sent to live in a home that was just as if not more difficult than. The girls father also being an NEW competitor who goes by the name Roger Wright. Custody reverted back to Roger who was dating the woman known as Candice Page now, while Candice was going through an ugly divorce with her husband Vincent Black.
Justin Byrnes: Yes for those of you who have yet to see the video posted by Jeffrey Blackpool formerly known as Jimmy Stylez, then we suggest you do so, now we must warn you it is a little graphic in nature, if it wasn’t mostly curse words we could play it for you here and now, but I’m afraid the standards and practices of this station will not play it due to it’s graphic content.
But really folks get on any major news carrying sight and look this up for yourselves. This young man is in tears claiming that this woman stole his youth and ruined his career for doing only as she asked. He discusses how poorly she would treat him when they weren’t in front of the camera, and most importantly after the appearance on Maurey, Blair was said to be so angry she took it out on the only person she could…
Which at the time was a seven year old boy she hired! He recalls a specific evening where she left him at the arena without warning or notice after it was agreed upon in their contract that Blair was responsible for all the child's travel arrangements! Publicly chastizing the poor boy for getting more than one helping while eating in catering, calling him fat and that no one hires fat people! Man what does this lady have against overweight people?
Daniel Forrester: I can’t really say I know to the answer to that question, but I am very much aware of her prejudice against over weight people she is completely repulsed by them or at least thats what she told my cousin whos spot I took after she had had enough of Blair and all of her drama. I’ll tell you this Justin I have been workiong in this industry all my life and Blair Buchannan is one of those celebrities that does not treat most of us regular people with anything even resembling reespect.
The woman is a monster, and I feel bad for both her children, the faux one as well as her own flesh and blood who if my sources are to be believed which I can assure you they are have it on good authority that her young daughter who’s name is Mia refuses to even acknowledge the woman is her mother anymore! These kinda of people spoil the spectacles that fans come and pay their hard earned money to be entertained, it really is a shame! I only hope that Mr. Blackpool didn’t hurt anyone in his public outburst!
Justin Byrnes: Well if there is a silver lining in this at all, apparently just twenty four hours before Mr. Blackpool’s arson the property was purchased by an anonymous group of investors and they closed everything down to remodel as well as begin construction on brand new facilitie. So no, no one was hurt, but Mr. Blackpool is still at this very moment incarcerated and what the future holds for him is anyone’s guess…?
The scene then quickly glitches..once then again…and then again. Then the channel we were watching the news report on completely changes to CBS.
We find ourselves on the set of the popular day time talk show…The Talk, and they spent the first few minutes of the show as they do everyday discussing the hot news topics and pop culture trends of that particular day, and since Blair has been a guest on this show at least twice, the ladies and O’Connel had more than their fair share to say about the former NEW World and Trans Atlantic Champion. The only one that spoke out in Blair’s defense was Jeremy O’Connell, but that dude bounced around Hollywood appearing in all kinda crap but never able to make it as a movie star so instead he co-hosts a day tme talk show geared towards the female demographic…Plus
The main host and longest standing member of the show CHeryl UNderwood broke the news that Jeffrey Blackpool was indeed out on bond, and was going to appear with them later in the show to discuss the horrors that pushed him over the edge and caused him to commit one of the biggest acts of vandalism in recent memory.
We see Jeffrey Blacklock sitting on one of the couches drinking coffee and telling his story in as great a detail as possible. We’ve already heard what his gripes were as well as some of the horror stories that took place for the brief period of time Jeffrey Blacklock was employed by Blair Buchannan.
The hosts and practically ever single member of the live studio audience sat there completely and utterly APPLAUD!!! As they should be, if yall got kids yall…YO NEVER LEAVE THEM BITCHES AROUND BLAIR BUCHANNAN…She is only mature enough to care about one life at a time, and if you look at most her actions it seems she doesn’t even care about that one, so save your two cents you might need it to pay attention to something more important shortly down the road.
Now Jeffrey’s timeslot was just about up so Cheryl Underwood began wrapping things up and informing Jeffrey they had a surprise for him. First of which was $15,000 collected so far on a GOFUNDME page that more and more people are visiting quite often. SHe then also inform Jeffrey as well as everyone else in the audience that they have another special guest today…NONE OTHER THAN 7x NE WChampion, LA Johnny Stylez.
SOMEONE, ANYONE by Anberling blares in the back ground as Johnny walks out in his suit and has the NEW World TItle glimmering under the bright studio lights. Johnny is very well dressed in his tailormade suit, as he walks in with a huge shit eating grin on his face. He looks into the camera and winks at a very special someone…(IT WAS YOU B!!! He walks out shakes hands and hugs with all the guests…Johnny even had the audacity to reach over and pinch Cherryl’s butt before she sat down. Cherryl tried to hit Johnny on his butt but she missed and then Johnny then backs up close to her so she can get a better shot.
After everyone calms down and sits down, CHeryl Underwood welcomes Johnny to the show, and asked him if he’s like to let Jeffrey in on their little secret. Johnny eagerly nods as Cheryl calls for the crowd to be silent.
LA Johnny Stylez well boys and girls thanks for having me, it truly is regrettable that we have to meet each other for the first time under these terrible circumstances. But all we can do is move forward and try to do better in the future!
Amanda Kloots: Hold on Mr. Stylez my son is a huge wrestling fan, so as a parent naturally it sort of indirectly makes us wrestling fans, we have had several wrestlers on this show before, Blair Buchannan included, so I know who you are, and you aren’t exactly known for your good side, your disdain for fans is very well documented!
LA Johnny Stylez: That is fair Amanda, but you see not even I can ignore when the universe is telling you to do something. You see I play a character on TV and I guess I’m really good at it, people boo me when I walk into a got damn SUBWAY! But like this kid Jeffrey Stylez
Crowd laughs
LA Johnny Stylez: He one hundred percent is not my son, but I know what it is like to be on the wrong end of a Blair Buchannan
Too put it mildly of course!
Sheryl Underwood: Come on yall we heard stories! ANd not just the ones we all heard today OKAAYYYYY?
The crowd gives a round of applause for the direct approach Cherryl Underwood has become quite famous for….So Johnny why don’t you go ahead and let us know why you are really here today!
LA Johnny Stylez: OK…Well I am not only the one who bailed this little joker out…But I also decided not to press charges!
Jeremy O’Connell” Press charges what do you mean?
LA Johnny Stylez: Well when people destroy your property it is still up to them if you want to press charges right?
Amanda Kloots:: But why would you purchase that property?
LA Johnny Stylez: Well Amanda don’t think I haven’t been asking myself that question a lot over the last 24 hours…I mean the one time I decide to give philanthropy a try I got this kid making me think its not such a good idea. BUt where else can these sad starlets go to escape the dregs of being famous?
...We are going to rebuild…And I am also going to be paying young Jeffrey here all the money he is owed from his expired contract with Blair as well as the money she agreed to pay him after turning 18 as per their agreement…ANd well she may have ruined his name around this neck of the woods…And sure he now has a record, but I don’t see what he did as any different from a protester getting arrested for throwing paint on some lady’s fur coat!
Sherryl Underwood: OHHH NU-UH Mr. Stylez them people need to be taken out back and…
LA Johnny Stylez: No mam watch it Cheryl! Don’t start using that dirty mouth or I’ll mess around and make you come work for me?
Cherryl Underwood: Brazzers or in NEW?
LA Johnny Stylez: YES!
The crowd laughs and claps as Johnny looks around at the table and theninto the camera where he winks and he doesn’t say it outloud…But you can clearly see him mouth the words…
As the crowd claps Johnny also nudges Jeffrey Blackpool and motions for him to look off to his left. He sees BRAZZER girls Olivia Austen and Brooklyn Chase smiling and waving at him. Johnny looks at Jeffrey and winks. He picks up the NEW Championship belt THAT YALL KNOW he brought on this show, and he slings it over his shoulder as the scene fades leaving you with the same notion we always duz…Because this time just like all them uddah times
….HaS BeeN YoUR PLea$uRe!!!
Eh
EH
HEY
Oooohhhh
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
OooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhNeeDLeSS to SAY I KeeP a CHECK..
“You Seen Johnny?”
“...YOU SEEN JOHNNY?”
Vince shakes his head no, so Jesse removes his phone and texts him
“WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU AT?”
He waits a few moments he figured this time was gunna be like all the other times where if he even got a txt back at all it would be so far after the fact Jesse probably forgot the question…But much to his surprise he got an ALMOST an immediate response(which for those of you that know is something of a VERY VERY EARLY CHRISTMAS MIRACLE) Even so Jesse had to hold the phone up closer to his face to make sure he wasn’t trippin…But he realizes its the genuine article as the brief response let’s Jesse know exactly where he is as he holds his phone down and we see the words…
WAR ROOM….Got BEER BRING YOUR ASS!
Scene then switches to Jesse walking down the halls of a now empty Edge Arena. He walks up to a wall and presses on the it lightly and suddenly we see a light turn on and the wall becomes a fucking DOOR! Jesse enters it and we hear Sunflower by Post Malone play even louder than it has been this entire time. Jesse makes his way into what some people have in their homes that are now commonly referred to as “MAN CAVES” but the COUSINS STYLEZ(S) are more than men…SO this isn’t a man cave people this is a
!!!!!F’N KiNG CAVE!!!!
Jesse Styles: Johnny?? Are you in here asswipe?
LA Johnny Stylez: You couldn’t tell by the smell?
Jesse Styles:Well in my defense I have been around your stupid ass all night so I think it is safe to say that I’m used to it, so to answer your question asshole NO! The ENTIRE EDGE ARENA SMELLS LIKE THAT, and it pains me to say that I can only see it getting worse with you being THE MOTHER FUCKING 7 TIME NEW CHAMPION!!!! UP TOP MAN
Johnny and Jesse smirk at one another as Johnny extends his hand and daps up his oldest friend in the world. Johnny of course was standing with the NEW Championship draped over his shoulder. But after his cousin’s acknowledgement I guess Johnny was struck with a tiny tingle of sentimental and pulled the elaborate perfectly F’N BEAUTIFUL
!!!!!NEW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!!!!!
…AND HELD IT OUT IN FRONT OF IT GAZING AT IT WITH PRIDE AND LoVE…AnD F’N LOTS OF BOTH!!!
12 year after all is a sizeable chunk of time. But here we are all over again. Johnny’s EGOORGASAM subsides as thoughts of what holding that TItle meant for him moving forward. A lot was going to be demanded of him thai time. This is a different time entirely, it has been a long ass time since New Edge Wrestling was spoken about like the feature orginization that it was in it’s heyday. But those days are gone now, had a great time, but the memories will always be right where we leave them, which is good because if things keep going Johnny and Jesse’s way there supreme attention will go to creating many, many…OH SO MANY MORE!
All these thoughts swirl around in his head, as he realizers he may have eaten too many edibles, but it was too late to start acting like a BABY BACK BITCH NOW, there was a night of sweet sexy sin and debauchery awaiting to erupt in some fancy neighborhood on the outskirts of the Windy City.
He looked up and saw his cousins mouth was moving, but he hadn’t heard a single word that fell from his lips. Johnny shakes his head and smacks himself across the face a time or two retuning himself to reality, Jesse of course notices this odd behavior but instead of confusion Jesse’s expression is one of
!!!!!BeWiLDeRMeNT!!!!!
…ANd NoW…Well NoW HE JUST LOOKS PISSED! F-M-L!!!
LA Johnny Stylez: Phuck YOU QUE BALL, better back up son! That’s the CHAMP you’re talkin to like that!
Jesse Styles: Johnny stop you know good and got damn well CHAMP or not if I got something to say that you DEFINITELY NEED TO HEAR, I’ll say it and then we let the chips all where they may!
LA Johnny Stylez: Yeah, yeah BELIEVE ME I KNOW, you are one of the only people that I know that can claim to have as fine an understanding, respect, and deep appreciation for the art of ASSHOLERY! So, now that we are all caught up on current events, what in the phuck were you tryin to say a moment ago when my brain decided to take a joy ride through LA LA LAND?
Jesse Styles: Johnny really, it’s been years and people are still saying the same shit…MAybe it’s time to at least open yourself up to the possibility, that SOME…NOT ALL OF IT, I’m not sayin that don’t act or look at me like a bitch YOU KNOW WHAT THE FUCK I’M TALKIN ABOUT!
LA Johnny Stylez: Uhhh no JESSE I ACTUALLY HAVN’T A GOT DAMN CLUE WHAT YOU ARE BABBLING ABOUT! SO HOW ABOUT YOU SAVE US BOTH SOME TIME AND AGGRAVATION AND WE JUST SKIP TO THE IMPORTANT PARTS???
Jesse Styles: …These terms are agreeable…Still FUCK YOU…OK now you have your truce! SO what I was trying to say is man the first night is officially in the books and well the crowd was hot, not an empty seat in there. Kinda puts it all in perspective sitting here knowing the direction we need to go in from here, and Johnny got damn it I know it’s a promise we make ourselves every fucking time, but we cannot imploed or be derailed by the same mistakes we both have made a hundred times over in the past!...WE CANNOT YOU HEAR ME??
LA Johnny Stylez: Yeah bitch I’m like four steps away from you and you are pretty much yelling! I mean I told you I had a feelin. It still may be a little too early to call it, but I’m with you man I like what I see so far…For the most part anyway. There is more than enough potential in this lot then there have been in previous goes at this, which does nothing confirm the fact that eventually lead to our reconciliation and successful reunion, that with you and I at the helm guiding this company on a path we charted has seen this company in it’s greatest moments. And basically rasslin needs savin, and who phuckin knows maybe after some serious time of whippin these lil
!!!!!F’N WHiPPeRSNaPPeRZ IN2 SHaPe!!!!!
WE JUST MAY BE ABLE TO PULL IT OFF!!!
But for now for the moment all they know is what they need to know…NEW EDGE WRESTLING IS
!!!!!F’N BaCK iN Bu$iNe$$!!!!
AND BuSiNESS BITCHEZ, IS FINNA BE THE REALLY GOOD KINDA GOOD!!!
SO yeah that is where my head is at! I mean you and I as carefully as we planned and executed this thing on Roger here tonight we still have no got damn clue what awaits us on the road ahead. I mean where in the phuck did Roger even vanish off to? I mean the match ended I looked up and he was gone before I could catch one of his tears in a vile I brought for that very reason…Boy if I wasn’t just informed my 12 year streak had just ended I woulda been kinda
!!!!!ALL in MY FeeLyZ!!!!!
But Then I Remembered ALL OF OUR MATCHES ARE RECORDED IF I WANT TO WATCH HIM CRY I CAN ANY F’N TIME!!!
…Ya know?
Jesse Styles: As funny as you think that was and you are Johnny you and I have come too far down this road to let something or someone like Roger Wright to be easily dismissed only to lurk up again most likely at the worst possible time and winds up raiing shit down on us…
LA Johnny Stylez: K, so what? You wanna kill him? TOLD YA THIS DAY WOULD COME!! OK, well cool I know a guy…Actually I know like a hundred guys…K so how shoul…
Jesse Styles: YEAH NO…JOHNNY! JOHNNY STOP! NO WE ARE NOT GOING TO HAVE ROGER WRIGHT KILLED! There is something WRONG WITH YOUR BRAIN BRO! NO, it’s just we won…Yes and a decisive victory it was at that, but still watch our back because like you said we will most likely have our hands full with the problems we aren’t even aware of yet. But this is the cost of achieving what you and I agreed to achieve this go round yes?
LA Johnny Stylez: STILL MEAN EVERY FuCKiN WORD!!! No worries QUE BALL it’ll be months of BLUNTS AND BABY RUTHS…JUST YOU WAIT! But by the by…Are you going to tell me whatever it is you haven’t wanted to tell me since you walked into the room? And before you say anything just remember I know you bitch….So best we get on with it huh?
Jesse Styles: Well first why don’t you tell me what the hell you are in here watching?...You’re not jerkin off to your old matches are you? Cause uh…that is not what I had this room built for sir!
LA Johnny Stylesz: You must have me confused with Hunter, which at this point I don’t even know how that is possible, but I am not going to waste any more than the breath I already have on the subject of that DELUSiONaL BLOCKHEAD PROFESSIONAL CHOKE ARTISTS…and not the kind that pay me a monthly fee so they can choke whatever they got to one of my LaDIEZ Besides nevermind what I’m watching it’s old shit…
Jesse Styles: Wait hold up…Is that BLAIR? When the hell is this even from?
LA Johnny Stylez: It was actually believe it or not the last time I saw her before she arrived to the arena for the show earlier today. It has been years now, and honestly I thought I’d be like ok with seeing her. BEcause believe me when I tell you let’s take a moment and pretend that the last time I walked away from this business I sunk my money into an occupation that keeps me literally up to my elbows in
~$~P.U.S.S.Y.~$~
RiGHT??? BuT I’LL Be DaMNeD iF MY SHiT CaN STiLL SeNSe THe E.V.I.L. In THE AIR, and GiVe oR TaKe A DAy oR TwO GuESS WHo ALWayZ SHoWZ Up…w/o FAIL???
I gotta say given the way her last run ended…Which is what I’m watching here presently. Would you judge me if I told you I still to do this day really have no phucking clue if I enjoyed doing this or not?...I mean as always she left me NO OTHER CHoICE, I just know our paths will cross sooner or later, honestly I thought she would have a better showing in the rumble, but we do need to not be so harsh after all she aint as limber, as spry, or
~!!$!!~ Y.O.U.N.G. ~!!$!!~
…Yeah, I Mean It May Be LoW HaNGiN FRuIT aS FaR As THe OBVioUS GOeZ, BuT THaT DoNT MaKe IT Any LeSS TRuE EiTHeR!!!
She made her choice in OPW, and she forced my hand. Everything I owned in the world was sunk into Outlaw Pro Wrestling, and really one or six bottles of SIROC or whatever dumb ass she she drinks that turns her into a literal RAVING LUNATIC who wants to torch anything and everything in sight down to the
!!!!!MoTHeR PHuCKiNG GROUND!!!!
…IVE SEEN MoViES AB FuGGiN EXCoRCiSMS THaT HAD WAY MoRe LUCK THaN I DiD DeaLiNG With Her DEMON GOD OF UNHOLY DUMBASS
Jesse Styles: Yeahhhh about that, Johnny uhhh…
LA Johnny Stylez: Please tell me that by UHHHH you don’t mean booked me against Blair on the first got damn show after this one here?...Pretty please!
Jesse Styles: Well see what had happened was…
LA Johnny Stylez: Really bruh, we been up and down these streets…literally around the world together…And you are still tryina hit me with the…
?UhH See WHaT HaD HaPPeNeD WAS!!!!
…CoMe ON Jess We GoTTa Be BeTTeR THaN THaT. Ohh and BY WE I SPeCiFiCaLLY MEAN YOU, OK???
…OK, run it to me again, I guess take it from the top?
Jesse Styles: Right…so uh….see what uh had happened was, you gotta look at this shit from a promoters perspective. I hate to say it out loud but booking shows was easier week to week almost because for now until the TV deal goes through we are limited to one show a month…
SO each has to matter. We reminded why they tuned in once upon a time…Now it’s time we remind them of who the best is. And the best way for us to accomplish this is to give them main events that don’t need too much build based on ya know extenuating circumstances.
LA Johnny Stylez: Wait see can I get you to hold up there CuZ, to make sure we are on the same page is that you basically were left no choice…
Jesse Styles: Yup!...YEAH THAT! Yeah NO CHOICE!!! THey SURE DIDN’T!!!
LA Johnny STylez: SO you’re sayin since Blair’s and my last split and actually very quiet and private divorce are one of those…WHat were the words you so eloquently used…
???EXTeNuATiNG CiRCuMSTaNCeS???
…Yes THAT’S IT! THAT’S HOW YOU PUT IT RIGHT???..RIGHT!!!
SO what you are trying to tell me in a very classy way(don’t mind the SMELL that’s just SARCASM) that the possibility of our real life issues with each other spilling out onto the stage like they have so many times before, giving IGNITE a damn good match they should be charged to see, but for the sake of the brand I really agree we should def use this as much to our advantage as possible…The people want a show, Jesse that is EXACTLY WHAT THE PHUCK WE FINNA
!!!!!GIVe EM!!!!!
...AS F'N A-L-W-A-Y-Z
Ohhh and I like totally keep forgetting to mention that I not only agree with your reasons for booking this match, and as THE ONCE AGAIN GUIDING LIGHT oF New EdFe WRESTLING, this feels like it honestly needed to happen so much the Universe manufactured the venue and now a date is set, and thanks to some HEADS UP, from some of the nerds who work for you I had a feeling you might lean towards this one. And really couldn’t happen at a better time, because every…and I do mean
EVeRy F’N TiME I FaCE THIS F’N CUNT…THe OnLy ThING PaiNFULLy OBVIoUS ABoUT ALL oF THiS iS THaT UNdERNeaTH THe MaKe UP of this new let’s be nice and call it a PeRSoNa.?..ALTER EGO?…MonIKeR?…WHATEVER!!!! Point is once again the universe has brought us to face each other after all that has happened between us, because I’ll admit it to you like I admitted it to her and everyone with ears and eyes at the time, the closest thing I believe I have ever come to experience that INFAMOUS HUMAN EXPERIENCE called being in LOVE it was indeed with Blair Buchanan…Only the operative word in all of that boys and girls is of course
!!!! W.A.S. !!!!
…IMPLIES TAKING PLACE IN THE PAST TENSE!!!!
!!!!!THe MoRe PaINFULLY OBVioUS IT WAS!!!!
HeR GRiP oN ReaLiTy WaS STiLL TePiD AT BEST!!!
SHe is still as delusional as she always has been, which is all the proof I or anyone else with a single strand of common sense needs to know that the only thing that has changed for Blair between then and now is her
!!!!!F’N CLoTHeS!!!!!
…ANd WeLL PeoPLe WHo DoN’T LeaRn FRoM THeIR MiTaKES ARe DooMeD TO RePeaT THeM!
…ANd you know me Jess I’ve never had a problem putting mother phuckers in their places, just because I foolishly thought I loved her once isn’t and never was enough to change that so the only thing we can do at this juncture is go out have our match and then hopefully all the blood of hers I spill opens up enough room so that the information doesn’t get lost this time.
Jesse Styles: Wait hold the fuck on there BUSTER…DId you just say you knew I booked you against Blair?
LA Johnny Stylez: Uhhh, yes I guess I did say that outloud…MY B!
Jesse Styles: HOW the HELL DID YOU KNOW>..and MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU GIVING ME SHIT FOR IT?
LA Johnny Stylez: Jesse…CALM DOWN! Look go over to the corner over there I refilled it for you about an hour ago…No baby ruths but there is a shit ton of BUDWEISER!
Jesse Styles: FUCK YOU I DON’T EAT BABY RUTHS!
LA Johnny Stylez: Since when?
Jesse Styles: FUCK YOU!...ANd here I’m not drinking alone!
LA Johnny Stylez: UHHH YES YOU PHUCKING ARE!!!
Jesse Styles: NO I’M NOT DICKBRAIN! You just won your seventh NEW title now quit being a little bitch, change your dress, and leave this little tea party you are at and come have a man’s drink!
LA Johnny Stylez: Aw hell might as well…Especially considering the night ahead of us!
Jesse Styles: Ill drop by for a few…but we can talk about all that later. I guess I need to watch this OPW shit with you so I can at least get an idea of just how badly Blair wants to fuck you up!
LA Johnny Stylez: OK…but..Yeah well you know me so…Here just watch it for yourself!
Johnny presses the play button and we some of us join the two cousins watching this again while some fans are seeing it for the very first time…Now we are going to stop here and warn you…This is kinda tough to watch…So good luck….you’ve been warned!
Outlaw Pro Wrestling
Monday Night SHoWCa$e ep22
10/31/20
OPW Southern Heavyweight Title Match
Blair Buchanan-Stylez(c) vs Vhodka Marie
[ Vhodka then looks up at Johnny like he has lost his mind after that fast three count. Vhodka stands up and waves her hands in front of Johnny's eyes as we hear her ask..."DUDE HOW BLAZED ARE YOU?...You KNOW WHICH ONE OF US IS WHICH RIGHT?" Johnny rolls his eyes and is aggravated enough that he doesn't bother warning Vhodka about Blair making it back to her feet. Blair quickly runs up wraps her arms around Vhodka Marie's waist lifts and hits a beautiful stalling German suplex that dumps Vhodka onto her neck and shoulders. Blair points to the entire audience and then motions for them all to kiss her ass as she grabs Johnny's face and plants a huge kiss on him as the crowd only BOO's louder and louder...Johnny then motions to Blair that Vhodka is getting up to her feet when she grabs his ass and presses her index finger to his lips and says...I'LL be RIGHT BACK LOVER!" And Blair runs over and just as Vhodka makes it to her feet Blair runs right past her hits a jumping handspring into the ropes where she has her feet bounce her off the top rope to where she comes back around jumps up and drops Vhodka with a cutter her version of the LETHAL INJECTION she calls the ]
[ Mason Moore ]: AND BLAIR BUCHANNAN-STYLEZ with a BEAUTIFUL PHOTO OP to Vhodka Marie damn near in the center of the ring! And did you see all of those cameras flashing?
[ Taj Escobar ]: I don't know why anyone would want to capture this bullshit moment in time because watching these two cheat their way to victory on top of victory is just making me sick to my got damn stomach!
[ VooDoo ]: Ohhh don't you worry Taj...I think you'll find it gets infinitely interesting from here!
[ Taj Escobar ]: GOT DAMNIT WILL YOU JUST SPIT OUT WHAT YOU KNOW?
[ VooDoo ]: I know this match is going to be an amazing match,...I mean come on....Blair Buchannan-Stylez and Vhodka Marie...If that doesn't say epic HO down...I don;'t know what does...And how quaint it's all for the Southern Championship!
[ Mason Moore ]: Voo...Did you get into Johnny's stash or somethin!
[ VooDoo ]: I'll take OR SOMETHING for 500 ALEX!
[ Blair rolls Vhodka over with her boot and doesn't even bother to drop down and cover her instead she just holds her boot on Vhodka's chest as she raises her hand in the air...But a moment goes by...and then another and then another...and she realizes by now she should have heard a bell ringing and the audience booing and that fat bastard with the mic over there informing everyone that she was still the OPW Southern Heavyweight Champion but all she heard was the sound of stupid Las Vegas wrestling fans stuffing their faces yelling at the people preforming in the ring like they had any right to yell at anyone about anything. Blair's eyes look around for her husband who is in the corner tying his show and playing on his phone. Blair shrieks so loud even the people in the locker room could hear her.... ]
?JOHNNY WHAT IN THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?
...CHECKING MY FANTASY TEAMS???
[ Apparently that wasn't an acceptable answer as Blair storms over grabs the phone and throws it into the 7th row. Johnny is laughing his ass off as Blair doesn't seem to quite grasp the humor so she asks...WHAT'S SO FUNNY? Johnny grabs the turnbuckle as he was trying so hard to catch his breath as he says....THAT WAS YOUR PHONE!!!! Blair doesn't know what he was on but she had seen and heard enough. She rares back her hand and ]
!!!!!!!BAM!!!!!!!
SHE SLAPS HER HUSBAND CLEAN ACROSS THE FACE!!!
[ Johnny lets his head hang for the briefest of moments as he is almost in disbelief over what has just happened. He laughs to himself as Blair stands over him and yells...NOW DO YOUR FUCKING JOB ASSHOLE! I WANNA GET THE HELL OUT OF THIS SANDBOX....IT ALWAYS SMELLS LIKE PEE HERE! The fans boo...but then suddenly cheer very loudly as Johnny takes his foot and throws it in front of Blair's back foot causing her to stumble...And just as Blair catches her footing she looks up and sees Vhodka Marie flying towards her and damn near takes her head off with a discus ROARING ELBOW. Blair smacks the mat as Vhodka walks over and shoves Johnny and says,...STAY THE FUCK OUT OF THIS DOUCHE BAG! Vhodka turns around in just enough time to eat a HELLUVA KICK from Blair Buchannan-Stylez! Vhodka spins around as Blair wraps her arms around Vhodka's waist and runs her into the corner turnbuckles. Vhodka's boobs smash against the padded steel as Blair tries to roll them backwards, but before Blair's momentum can complete the final part of the turn Vhodka Marie stops, grabs both of Blair's legs turns around and locks her in her version of the SCORPION DEATHLOCK she calls the... ]
[ Mason Moore ]: AND VHODKA MARIE HAS BLAIR BUCHANNAN-STYLEZ LOCKED IN THE SCREWDRIVER!!!
[ Taj Escobar ]: Why in the hell does she call it that?
[ VooDoo ]: I could hazard a guess or two!
[ Taj Escobar ]: Would either of them be accurate?
[ VooDoo ]: Depends on who you ask!
[ Mason Moore ]: AND LOOK BLAIR WAS FINALLY ABLE TO REACH OUT AND GRAB THE BOTTOM ROPE THAT KNEE OF HERS HAS TO BE KILLING HER! Uhhh Johnny?....What the...
[ VooDoo ]: WAIT FOR IT...
[ Taj Escobar ]: HOLY.....FUCKING.....SHIT......WHAT IN THE HOLY HELL IS GOING ON HERE!!!
[ Johnny walks over to where his wife's hand is gripping the bottom rope. He looks at her face squinched in pain as he can see the pain in her knee coursing through her entire body driving her mad. She is waiting for him to call for a rope break, but instead he looks at his wife balls his hands into fists and holds them right underneath his eye lids and makes a CRYING motion with his hands as he then takes one step and kicks Blair's hand off of the rope as the entire arena is stunned silent. Once Vhodka no longer feels the tension she assunmes Blair let go and pulls her toward the center of the ring and really sits down on it. Blair fights it as long as she can until she can stands it no more and then furiously slaps her hand against the canvas tapping out as the DoN oF Di$Re$PeCT calls for the bell asthe fans are almost too shocked to roar in approval! But the moment Royal Powerhouse does this.... ]
[ Royal Powerhouse ]: HERE IS YOUR WINNER AND THE NEWWWWWWWWWWW OUTLAW PRO WRESTLING SOUTHERN HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION VHHHHOOOODDDDDKKKAAAA MAAAARRRRRIIIIEEEEEEE!!!!! BBBBRRRRROOOOOTTTTHHHHEEEERRRRRRRRR
Scene then quickly cuts back to Jesse and Johnny drinking their beers watching the bitter end to Blair’s run in OPW. Jesse’s eyes are wide as he looks over at his cousin who has his face buried in his hands and he is already shaking his head before Jesse can even get the words out of his mouth.
Jesse Styles: WOW…just wow!
LA Johnny Stylez: I KNOW BRO!...But like I said she left me no choice!
Jesse Styles: Well at least she seems to have recovered since all this, but still damn GOT DAMN, what is wrong with you?
LA Johnny Stylez: Honestly I have no phucking clue the jury is still out. But yeah I haven’t watched this in a while, I kinda forgot how uh…hmm whats the word…?
Jesse Styles: Brutal? Savage? Cold Blooded?
LA Johnny Stylez: Well actually I was thinking genius but yeah those work too I guess!
Jesse Styles: Well since you are in here preparing when there is literally a party in your honor anxiously awaiting your arrival I am going to go ahead and assume you have a plan on how to deal with this?
LA Johnny Stylez: You know me so well!
Jesse Styles: You know what I know whatever it is is probably going to be the source of at least five of my headaches leading up to the next show…So I’ll only ask how worried should I be?
LA Johnny Stylez: What you? Ohh you don’t need to worry at all…Blair on the other hand, well let’s just say she’ll get all the closure she can CHOKE down…You can call that a promise if you’d like!
Jesse Styles: What did you do?
LA Johnny Stylez: Thought you didn’t wanna know?
Jesse Styles: Well fuck now Im curious!
LA Johnny Stylez: Let’s just say by the time it’s all said and done with Blair will look back on what we just watched and realized that was when she had it good! But don’t you worry there Mr. Styles everything should be much clearer by tomorrow afternoon sometime.
…Maybe 5 o’clock? Maybe sooner? Guess we will leave that shit up to FATE. But I believe the time has come to get to that party so people can help me celebrate…ME! It’s gunna be a good night and probably morning as well…
Jesse Styles: Johnny…
LA Johnny Stylez: Yeah bud?
Jesse Styles: You really are the worst!
LA Johnny Stylez: That just might be the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me!..You comin or what CUE BALL we are burning Moonlight!
Jesse Styles: Man my wife is gunna fuckin kill me!
LA Johnny Stylez: Well I guess the good news is, she will probably kill me as well, man I really hope she gets to you first!
Jesse Styles: Yeah actually before we leave you may wanna stop and actually pray that happens! But shut up and let’s go before my senses return and remind me of what happens every time I follow you into a “GOOD TIME”
LA Johnny Stylez: Very well sir, let us be on our way!
ANd with that the two cousins go to leave but before they walk out the door Jesse stops Johnny as Johnny turns around and sees his cousin walk back over to the huge ice chest filled to the brim with BUDWEISERS! Jesse grabs, 2, no 3…no 4…UNtil Johnny calls out to him…
LA Johnny Stylez: Just bring the whole bitch…It’s GuNNa Be
!!!!OnE oF THo$E KiNDa NIGHTS!!!!
…YoU KNoW WHeN IT’s GoTTeN SO LaTe SoMe HoW IT WouND uP BeING EARLY!!!
…You can’t come obviously, but you can stream it live which is all most of you TIKTOK obsessed dildos needs for a good time these days! EW…Seriously EW!!! But anyway…See yall in the MoRnInG…
Jesse walks up carrying the large ice chest and he sets it down right where Johnny is standing and with a confused look on his face he asks..
Jesse Styles: Bro who in the fuck are you talking to?
Johnny doesn’t say anything he just nods towards the camera and Jesse turns and looks into and then right back at Johnny rolling his eyes he rebuttals…
Jesse Styles: You’re doing this now?
LA Johnny Stylez: Uhhh, yeah you do know where we are headed don’t you?
Jesse Styles: K…good call, I’ll see you out there, but don’t take all night!
LA Johnny Stylez: Who me? I don’t know what you mean by that and Im also inclined to take offense!
Jesse Styles: Whatever you’re dumb BYE!!!!
Johnny smirks at his cousin as he stops and once again holds his NEW Championship belt in front of him and he just glares at it. It’s almost as if for the first time in a very long time things just make more sense now. We see the million thoughts shoot through his mind as he reaches in his pocket and removes a pack of LUCKY’s.
He opens the pack and pulls one of the cigarette butts up as he puts his lip on it removing it from the pack. He cups his hands and we see that trademark 4:19 ZIppo as he flicks the top off and shoots the flame up like a pro. He lets the flame gently rake across the edge of the tightly rolled and filtered tobacco.
He takes a drag and exhales the smoke through his nostrils and then briefly turing to the camera, he takes another quick drag before blowing the smoke out intot he camera lens as he then begins to do what he does way better than anyone you KNOW…
LA Johnny Stylez:...Yall walk with me people!!!
Johnny then nods and turns and takes one last look of the final moments of Blair’s OPW career he was watching on YOUTUBE a few moments ago, and he glares at it for one more moment before grabbing the remote and turning the TV off. He tosses the remote on the couch and then leads us out of the NEW GEntlemen’s room.
Johnny has HIS…WE SAID HIS NEW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP title slung over his shoulder. He has his cigarette hanging from his lips as he stops right when we reach the double doors leading outside. He goes to open the door, but stops and then turns to the camera once again and here we go again.
LA johnny STylez: Blair “MoTHeR PHuCKiN” BuCHaNNaN…
?WHAT’$ GooD MaMa?
…HoW Ya BeeN?...NO!!! WAIT LeT Me GuE$$...?
You have once again pulled yourself up by your bootstraps and hair extensions and have once again found a way to wonderfully and
~$~ F’N MaGiCaLLY~~
Re-INVeNTeD YoUR$eLF…AGAIN!
Which yay hooray for you, it’s not like you left yourself much of a choice now did ya PuMPKiN??? And well after doing this I dunno probably at the very least five times before I don’t see that there is anyway HUMANLY PHUCKING PoSSiBLE you can still be bad at it. Cause I’m afraid the topic of conversation is going to be what is always winds up being between you and I.
Knowing you as well as I do, I can say with nothing even resembling doubt that this may very well be your least favorite topic of all time, well aside from fat people of course, but that was supposed to be implied. SO with fat people apparently taken out of play that only leaves one glaring and also painfully obvious choice. SO what’s this topic MiSSeS BuCHaNNaN despises oh so very much?...Yall may have heard of it before it’s a little teeny tiny thing called
!!!!! THE TRUTH !!!!!
AND DON’T WORRY IF THE TRUTH WOUND UP PLUGGING ME AS MUCH AS IT HAS YOU I’D PROBABLY HATE THE SHIT TOO!!!!
But I find myself in a very unfortunate circumstance you see?...Of all the things I may be, and believe me I’ve probably been called them all. But one thing I really don’t even like about myself is I just so happen to be a
!!!!!SLAVe To THe TRuTH!!!!!
…WHICH IS WHY IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN ME THAT HAS HAD TO TEACH YOU THOSE TOUGH LESSONS!!!
But like I said I am a slave to the truth. If you would like more proof ontop of the multiple ass whoopings and other various humiliations you have suffered at my hands, then find I’ll show you right now. You want the truth Blair? I know I shouldn’t but I am going to do you a solid and tell you where you have gone wrong so many times before. Why you always manage to always just miss the mark. You either arrive too phucking late or
!!!!!NoT AT ALL!!!!!
…AND FoR THe ReCoRD THiS Is PRoLLy GuNNA Be OnE oF THeM NoT AT ALL IN$TaNCeS Ya DIGG?
ANd why would I do that so close before a match to where you could possibly learn from what I tell you and apply it…But uh, is there a polite way of saying…
?YEAH F’N RiGHT!!!!!
…BITCH YOU KNOW WE CAN ALL SEE YOU JES?
But all of that aside, there was once upon a time I believed you and I really were gunna make it to happily ever after. If you would have asked me then I probably would have said yes I absolutely was in love with you. The first time it ever happened it was you too! But you have time and time again just as you have every phucking time in your life professionally or personally.
It’s almost you like tripping over your own feet and literally doing a gpot damn face plant right on the perfect little world you worked tirelessly trying to phucking build! In most circles CRaZy LaDy…THE MEDICAL ONES more specifically those who continue to do the same shit and expect different results…Well according to that one book, I know you haven’t read it but I know you’ve heard of it it’s called
!!!!THE F’N D.I.C.T.I.O.N.A.R.Y.!!!!
…THAT IS THE ACTUAL DEFINITION OF INSANITY YA PSYCHO HOSE BEAST!!!
ANd look I don’t care where you went to get your “FRESH PERSONA” make over, and wait hold on let me guess. DO I even dare think it possible that Blair Buchannan be
?SiNGLE?
YEAH F’N RiGHT THAT’S JuST aS F’n LiKeLy AS DoNALD TRuMP’s FACE RePLaCiNG OLE BEN FRANK ON THE HuNDReD DoLLa DoLLa BILL YALL!!
He isn’t in your usual circle of beaus no…IF you are going for the repackage routine you need something new, but still of stature. I’m gunna go out on a limb and guess whatever phuckin putz you have carrying your purse these days is probably you’re phuckin agent or something. Because you know YEAH, TMZ reports constantly just how well that one has worked. I don’t give a phuck if you walked up in this bitch and you were dating
!!!!!CHRi$ F’N PRATT!!!!
…IF YoUR LooKIn FoR JeaLoUSy SoRRy THaT’S LiTeRaLLY THE ONLY SHaDe oF GREeN We DoN’T GoT RoUnD THIS WAY!!!
IN other words MAMA my hot dogg really
!!!!DoN’T MiSS YoUR HaLL WaY!!!!
…YA DIGG???
!!!!!F’N S.T.U.P.I.D.!!!!!
…And I’LL EVeN BeT YoU STiLL HaVe THe AuDaCiTy To CALL ME CHILDISH!!!
…Real quick though do you prefer to be the pot or the kettle in this scenario? NeVeRMiND IT’s not important! What’s important is the lesson I am about to try and teach you the easy way ONE MORE PHUCKING TIME, before I literally have to pound it and the rest of your head into the NEW ring canvas at the end of this here yellowbrick road! The mistake you ALWAYS…That means without FAIL…
!!!! EVeRy F.U.C.K.I.N.G. TiME !!!!!
IS YoU TaKe PiECeS oF THe TRuTH AnD THeN UsE THaT To CReaTe YoUR NaRRaTiVe!!!
…And as you have found out time and time again, and as you will oh so every soon my sweet little peach is that little narrative of yours is no more real then ALICE’s
!!!!F’N WoNDeRLAND!!!!
…Only Di$ney WoNT Be MaKinG A MoViE OuT oF YoUR SHIT!!!
Let us take for instance your perspective of our marriage. I mean of course there are the others to consider, but even that is low hanging fruit even for me at this point. I only mention it because of your marriages as much as you might deny deny deny…Blair that is the MOMENT right there.
Because when else have you ever had it so good? The doors that perhaps should have been open to you from jump were all already wide open. You lived the life you truly had the life you have so desperately tried to build your entire life. You got what you wanted, you never saw a got damn price tag. You were promoted, put out front, allowed to show your vastly improved ring skills, and most importantly you were protected. Your enemies were
!!!!MY F’N EnEMiES!!!!
…And Well You KNoW GooD AnD GoT DaMN WeLL HaPPeNS To My EnEMiEZ…EVeN IF YoU SaY YOU DON’T!!!
Because it has happened to you before, and I am promising you it is going to happen again IN THE NEAR AND CLEAR…DEAR! Because that is the thing you never could understand. You have probably joined the side of the legion of JOHNNY STYLEZ HATERS that say I’m “childish”, RUDE, “ObNiXiOuS”, IMMaTuRe” yadda yadda so on and so fourth. Well it’s funny because you assholes have been saying that shit for years yet here I stand once again with MY PRIZE…
WITH MY TANGIBLE PROOF THAT FORCES EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR STUPID ASSES WHETHER YOU WANT TO OR NOT TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE FACT THAT I AM THE NEW EDGE WRESTLING
!!!!!C.H.A.M.P.I.O.N.!!!!!
…AnD NOT ONLy DoES THaT MaKe Me BeTTeR THaN YOU…IT MEANS I’M THE BEST!!!
And well I’d point out that this aint the first time either, but I believe I have adequately done so! So say what you will but my way has bared fruit that most of if not every single one of you would literally slit each others throat for the teeniest tiniest TASTE! It’s way my paychecks are bigger than yours BeeBz…It’s why my name is the fixture in the main event even after YEARS of hiatuses and breaks, or to put a finer point on it, you dear are in the MAIN EVENT at IGNITE because you are facing me
!!!!!NoT THe OTHeR WaY ARoUND!!!!!
…CLEARLY!!!
And my goal was to make them want to, because in my travels I have found that it does actually make it more gratifying if they wish they could ignore you but can’t! That Blair Buchannan is what you don’t grasp! It’s why you are stuck on the bottom rung and can’t pass go to collect your two hundred dollars! Because Blair Buchannan you don’t know what
!!!!!TRuE GReaTNe$$ IS!!!!!
…OuTSiDe oF THe TiMe YoU SPeNT w/ ME oF COuRSE!!!
I do because if risen to it on several occasions. Those are the matches that you typically go out of your way to completely and utterly phuck up beyond any possible means of recognition! Call me and think of me what you want Blair, some of this is shit you have to say.
Even if you were madly in love with me still I would probably die of shock if you came out and said that shit in front of God JESUS and EVERYONE ELSE INBETWEEN! But even if ya did my dear, as I was telling you a few moments ago that ship has sailed and went to the BAHAMAS where every single day not only am I literally up to my elbows in pussy, but now once again I am the NEW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!!! SO suffice to say
!!!!!LiFe iS GooD!!!!!
…ANd IF YoU STiLL HaVeN’T LeaRNeD WHaT I AM PRePaReD TO DO In ORDeR TO KeeP IT THaT WaY THeN You ARe ReaLLy GuNNa WISH YoU WeRE PaYING ATTeNTiON!!!
Because Blair I want you to know that I too have changed personally and professionally and that is why I believe my best work is still very much in front of me. I know what I’m fighting for now, and I know how to protect, grow, and guide it into a very prosperous future! SO you know what that means don’t you? Well if not I’ll tell you! See the main reason my former HONEY BRITCHES, is that the main reason it ultimatley won’t work between us anymore is because there is truly
!!!!!SoMeOnE ELSe!!!!!
…AND I TRuLy DiDn’T ReaLiZe THe Way I FeLT UNTiL VeRy ReCeNTLy!!!!
~!!$!!~ L.O.V.E. ~!!$!!~
…Well SHe HaS A NaMe, BUT MoSTLy I CaLL HER MINE!!!!
Johnny then slides the NEW title belt off of his shoulder and into his right hand that he holds up for Blair and everyone else to see. After a moment to where Johnny was confident Blair got a good enough look, he then fastens the belt around it’s waist and almost acts as if he was just warmly embraced feeling the soothing gentle touch that only comes from a LoVeR! He looks down and looks back up at the camera with the biggest shit eating grin you ever seen this dude make (which is truly saying something all things considered)
LA Johnny Stylez: I love this belt like a mother loves her children, and as any binge worthy TV show has taught us I like them are willing to go to whatever lengths to protect what I love. I’m talkin Cersi Lannister blowing up the sept of Balor and everyone in it! If you don’t get that reference stop being an idiot and looking up, it’s outstanding television! But Blair you know better than practically EVERYONE else what being the CHAMPION means to me.
But see one thing that I understand now that I didn’t then was that holding this…Being the NEW CHAMPION is bigger than just me. This is the pride of the wrestling empire we once again proudly reside, the top prize, the CROWN PHUCKIN JEWEL FOR PHUCKS SAKE, and in order for me to restore it’s meaning in all of it’s glory…and THEN SOME I am going to have to once again set the standard of what it means.
It means I have to climb in the ring against the best and walk back out the same way I went in…THE ACTUAL BEST! It also very much so unfortunately for you that I cannot come out on IGNITE and loose to phuckin
!!!!YOU oF ALL PeOPLe!!!!
AnD AGAIN YoU KNoW My PeRSPeCTiVE oN HoW To ACCoMPLiSH SUCH A FEAT???
Which if this isn’t the moment then we are getting close to that point in these where I say three words of advice that more times often than not I have force fed a great number of people…But I can’t say them just yet because again UnFuGGINFoRTUnATLeY FOR YOU this tongue lashing isn’t the worst of it!
I have to win this match Blair, you are not nor have you ever been my superior it’s not even close all stats aside. The only thing you have truly proved over the course of your in ring career is that you are not fit to wear this title. To even try and sit here and fathom the dim and grim reality that would set upon NEW if you phucked around and wound up beating me for this belt…I am well aware our match at IGNITE is not for my prize, but that doesn’t mean I still don’t see it that way. I didn’t come all this way to drop the ball now to a bad reality TV star like
!!!!!BLaIR F’N BUCHaNNaN!!!!!
…And So Once Again I Am LeFT WiTH NO CHOICE IN THE MATTER!!!
But it works out for you, because if you for once decide to be smart this may be the most important LOSS and MOMENT OF YOUR ENTIRE LIFE BEEE! We did share something special once, and so I want you to truly know I am happy for you if you have decided to try and reinvent yourself, you did show a lot of promise in the ring in OPW! And really my dear were we in any other particular set of circumstances I would tell you that if you are truly happy then I am proud of and very happy for you! But once again
!!!!!UnFoRTuNaTeLy!!!!!
THaT AINT HoW THiS iS GuNNa GO DoWN!!!
I am going to not only go out of my way to make sure you learn this final lesson I am forced to teach you. SO if you are looking, hoping, and praying for a silver lining there it is my lady! And please I want you to know I truly didn’t want to do what I did to you, but really there was no other way! This has to be done, because you and everyone else needs to be reminded of what happens when you CROSS the
!!!!!DoN oF DI$Re$PeCT!!!!
…IT AinT EaSy, IT AiNT PReTTy, AND IT SuRe AS SHiT AINT HEALTHY EITHER!!!
Every single week I am going to climb inside of MY RING, and I am going to conduct my business the same way I always have. I will go to war for this company for the right to wear this belt around my waist, and you are very familiar with my tactics during WAR. The one thing I tried to teach you that you also failed to learn is that the best kind of victory, or as far as I’m concerned the PHUCKING ONLY kind of victory is
!!!!A.B.S.O.L.U.T.E.!!!!
WHiCH MEaNS NoT OnLy ARe YoUR EnEMiES DeFeaTED THeY ARe CriPPLeD, HUMBLED, and THeN FoRGoTTeN!!!
If you survive this, which I’m sure some small part of me actually hopes you do I hope you learn that the next time you step to me you had better be ready, more so than you may believe yourself to be now! Please know that this time specifically since you have proven just the asswhoopin itself isn’t strong enough to pound this info into your brain.
No this will require something else. SOme of my “OBniXiOuS CHILDiSh ANTICS.” BUt Blair I can confidently say that this time more so than ever you will find that perhaps what I did may fall under those categories the one thing my tactics and antics have proven to be more so than any of those words is
!!!!E.F.F.E.C.T.I.V.E.!!!!!
WHiCH If YoU DiDN’T KNoW THaT THeN THeN YoU SuRE AS PHuCK WiLL MoNDay MoRNiNG AFTeR IGNiTE!!!
But… Ya know it’s been three years B, can you believe it? THree years since OPW came and went! Of course there were days where curiosity got the better of me, and I would try social media stalking as per the norm these days. And when I couldn’t find the information I was looking for, I found someone who did!
SO suffice to say Blair I did find that little LIFE REHAB you went to, and honestly from the little evidence at my disposal it was a fairly decent perhaps even good place! I hear you got a great deal out of it, as I stand here now preparing to wipe the thought of you standing across from me as a challenger from existence…
I can only hope it brings me the same fortune it brought you! But I guess we will see in the morning! SO if you can’t forgive me for whats coming, I understand and it is regrettable, but please know and understand this is WHAT I HAD TO DO. For not just me and my ego, ot even for just NEW, I did this for all of pro wrestling! ANd when its all said and done and you can’t bring yourself to understand or even respect that, then know you are every bit the fool I have been standing here making you out to be this entire time!
Now this is of course the instance I was referring to, but I still won’t say it yet…You will know when it’s time! Well alright kids, guess that wraps this shit up. I have the rest of an evening and the better part of a morning to enjoy! Guess I’ll catch you phuckin NERDZ on the FLIP SIDE!!!
Johnny then pushes open the door, but as he does suddenly his phone begins to ring. He stops and removes his phone from his pocket. He sees the name of the caller and his lights light up with excitement. He checks over his shoulder to make sure yall aren’t trying to be nosey as he answers the call…
LA Johnny Stylez: MY BOY! How the phuck are you?...Are you ready? Tomorrow is the big day?...GOOD! That’s great to hear! And don’t worry just like we talked about I GOT YOU! Yeah, I mean again they are in all likelihood going to arrest you, but I’ll have you out before the got damn sunsets! Now if you want to cash in on that very GeNeRoUS OFFER I made you then you have to do exactly what we already discussed and you agreed to down to the letter! You do that and all of your present problems will evaporate…
And this is me we are talking about here I’m not a LANNISTER but I always pay my phuckin debts! So we are good?...You sure you are ready to do this, because one thing I do not tolerate is failure especially as far as these things concerned, so let me one more time remind you that PHUCKING UP is the most hazardous thing to your health PRESENTLY…I find that it’s good to keep shit like that in mind…Well alright then man! Thank you again this is going to be…SPECTACULAR! Talk to you tomorrow, bye!
Johnny then hangs up the phone and looks into the camera and says absolutely NOTHING! He just peers into the camera with an arrogant smirk that suddenly has your stomach twisting in knots because you don’t know what’s coming, but given who we are dealing with, you can pretty much bet your money on it not being good…But we can burn that bridge when we get there!!
Monday Morning November 27th 2023
(The morning after Ignite)
We see a nightstand that has an ash trey, a pack of cigarettes, some random dollar bills and a small pile of powder on a glass mirror. Right next to that shit is a pair of wireless headphones that a hand reaches out and grabs momentarily. He sits up and despite our view being from behind we can see for ourselves it is The PaRaGoNa oF AMeRIKaNa HIMSELF. He sits up wearing a pair of black flannel pajama pants and no shirt. We see his brand new tattoo he got to commemorate his historic victory the night before. On his left shoulder is the word BAD and on the right GUY.
He opens the wireless headphone case removes the buds and pops one in each ear. He grabs his phone and pulls up his spotify, he pauses for a moment silently pondering what song should ring in the new era for him and pro wrestling as a whole. A arrogant smirk beams across his face as he shakes his head and allows his thumbs to scroll right on down to one of this planet’s finest musical compositions…It’s called
!!!!!CaNDy PaINT!!!!!
…BY POST MALONE, NOW THIS IS DEFINITLEY START OFF ONE OF THE GREATEST MORNINGS OF ALL TIME YES INDEED!!!!
…K see yall in just a bit!
It’s early…like real phucking early! It’s that absolutely beautiful time of day when the last remaining spots of darkness finally give way to the baby blue sky of the morning, as sun beams begin to peak over the horizon, everything feels calm. As we open with an overview shot of a very large one story house right on the corner of what appears to be a very nice neighboorhood in Chicago.
There is a FOR SALE sign in the front yard that has the large red label on it letting you and everyone else know it had been sold. There are more cars then there is space in the driveway, as there are empty vehicles parked on the side walk and all the way half down the street.
The house looks modern with the elaborate architecture seen on all those stupid shows on HGTV. Which we only bring it up to point out that it really is a shame. This house was built to be the home of a nice white collar family. Where they could grow old and miserable together. Like this is the kinda house that hosts Thanksgiving every year. But all of that shit is completely out the window, because if you couldn’t tell by all the trash and shit scattered across the yard, and the dude who is passed the fuck out in the driveway face down butt ass naked with the signature of everyone who attended this little PAR-TAY written on him in permanent marker.
Which if you still don’t have enough pieces to put the puzzle together yourself, we will just go ahead and enlighten you…This house was purchased the Friday before IGNITE by the once again seven time NEW World Heavyweight Champion LA Johnny Stylez. His home is very much still right at the heart of the French QUater in New Orleans Louisiana, but with NEW being back open the Champ will more than likely be spending a fair amount of time here.
The house exists only for what you see the remains of on this beautiful Monday Morning. The scene then switches to the inside of the house where there are passed out barley clothed bodies all passed out literally all over the house. Some on the couch, some in the guest bed, and most on the floor. THere is party paraphernalia all over the pace. Empty or spilled red solo cups, at least three large mounds of beautiful sweet stinky Cali WEED!
As we view the home from room to room it goes without saying at this point that the party thrown here the night before was truly
!!!!ONE oF THoSE KiNDa NIGHTS!!!!
…Would YOU EXPeCT ANYTHING LeSS FROM YOUR CHAMPION???
…If you do then you obviously have never partied with him before, and you are a fuggin IDIOT at that! But as we go from room to room there is one room we haven’t been to,coincidentally belongs to the one face we haven’t seen scattered among the graveyard of the night before at the all night sex drugs and rock n roll CHAMPIONSHIP celebration.
The camera panda slowly down the hall way stepping over more garbage a few passed out dudes who have crazy shit drawn all over their faces , one guy has I LOVE COCK written on his right cheek, while the other has black round glasses painted around his eyes and on his right cheek is the word HARRY and on the left cheek…
Yup it says POTTER…THe door is almost within reach, but the final obstacle is one that we can’t help but stop and watch as one dainty blonde girl going down on another girl with dark black hair blue blue eyes and perfectly handcrafted round breasts. The blonde turns and looks at the camera and shatters the 4th wall asking a very appropriate question…
Blonde Rug Muncher: Uhhh DO YOU MIND???
I mean nevermind the fact that they are at the end of the hall way the only way to get into or from the room you have tpo step over them…But yeah it’s our fault! Whatever LADY we didn’t come here for this. We finally make it to the door and we see the knob twist and the door slowly creeps open. We see a huge 68’ flatscreen TV hanging on the wall to the side playing that’s right you guessed it…PORN!!!
It looks like a threesome, on the TV and in the bed as we see three female nude HINEYS neatly laying aside the other. We also notice that in this huge phuckin bed there is a pillow where someone else used to be. We look around the room but we don’t see him. We see lots of porn, and we see drugs, booze, and all other kinds of things that put the
!!!!FuN!!!!
In PHaRaPHiNaLIA!!!
The camera slowly makes it’s way around the room, until we get to a door that is slightly cracked open. The camera pushes its way inside and we see The PaRaGoNa oF AMeRiKaNa finishing getting dressed for the day. GIven what stopped transpiring here not two and a half hours ago it is a phucking miracle that Johnny is even able to stand let alone adequate execute the THREE S’s(ShIT SHoWeR, SHaVe for those of you keeping score at home)...
But he has clearly risen to the challenge and he looks like a Million BUCKS. He has a black perfectly fit tailor made Armani suit. He has a striking blue tie that brings out the cool blue of his own eyes, which he is quick to cover with his black thickrimmed RAYBANS. Johnny is texting someone, as we see on the TV in the bathroom the headline from what’s presently playing on FOXNEWS. The headline reads…
“Former CHILD ACTOR ARRESTED IN CALIFORNIA FOR BURNING DOWN RANCH, BLAMES FORMER EMPLOYER PRO WRESTLER AND FASHION MOGUL BLAIR BUCHANNAN!
WHATTTTTTTTTTTTT?
Johnny turns around and faces the camera again. He quickly pulls his glasses down to the bridge of his nose so we can see his eyes. He puts the tightly rolled blunt he was smoking down and exhales a huge cloud of smoke as he looks up at the story unfolding live on a national news network! He then makes a loud hocking noise and then swiftly and sternly he spits into the sink and hits the blunt one more time. He puts the TV on mute for a moment and turns to the camera.
LA Johnny Stylez: This is the last thing I need you to understand LoVe, in order to make sure you and every other pair of eyes watching IGNITE understood that this isn’t the same LA Johnny Stylez just like it aint the same NEW. We’ve both gotten sharper, harder, and stronger in almost every single aspect. I had to prove to you that one of the main things that has changed about me is once upon a time you had me trumped on matters concerning being an actual celebrity.
Navigating that part of the country you are from where everyones sense of reality is so different from everyone elses on the planet it might as well be from a different one! But after years of being ontop of pro wrestling and New Edge Wrestling, then walking away becoming one of the most infamous smut peddlers in the history of smut and peddling, and then running, owning, and operating my own wresting promotion taught me a
!!!!!F’N THiNG oR TwO!!!!!
ABoUT A MoTHeR FUGGiN THiNG oR TWO, YA FeeL ME?
So that is why the decision of what move to make was very clear. The message I send to you personally is the same one I send to the rest of them, Valora and anyone else who is foolish enough to staind in the PUBLIC ASSWHOOPIN LINE. And that message is very simple, coming for my gold comes at a cost…Because that is one thing WARS always do…COST, and I have had a very long and decorated military career, so much though I am presently in the middle of waging a WAR with you Blair on a different front…
On turf that will seem very familiar because it is what used to be your turf! You can’t beat me in my word, but now I have everything I need to destroy you in the one you retret to when things implode and explode for you here! ANd I wouldn’t have most of my tools and resources I am going to use to wage this war, if it wasn’t for you B!
ANd that my dear is how you learn from your mistakes and your successes. I am sorry about your little life rehab, I do understand that it really did help you and a great deal of others who went through there, and I didn’t take a lot of joy in seeing it destroyed but the only way the message can be sent and considered delivered is if you and everyone else acknowledges the gravity of the situation…
It perhaps really did help turn you into a better person who wants to be a better person, but in the name of New Edge Wrestling and the Title I carry I won’t bat a phucking eye lash to see it wiped from this world, as if it was never even there
!!!!AT F’N ALL!!!!
…BeCaUsE THaT iS HoW FaR Im WiLLiNG TO GO TO SEE THIS SHIT THROUGH!!!
~$~ EVeRyBoDy TRyInG TeLL Me WHaT I STaND FOR~$~
…BuT YoU DoN’T PHuCKiN KNoW Me HoMie YOU DON’T WANT WAR!!!
…Now I return you to your previously scheduled SHIT SHOW!!!
Johnny grabs the remote and presses the unmute button. The news is on commercial as we hear his phone vibrating against the marble countertop in Johnny’s bathroom, he looks down and sees the name of the person calling and an evil smile creeps across his face as he goes to answer it, but pauses looks into the camera…DIRECTLY AT YOU and almost laughing he says…
LA Johnny Stylez: Answer the call ALEXA…
Then we see Johnny take a bluetooth device and he sticks it in his ear. THe moment Johnny answers the phone he holds up one finger towards the camera as if telling them to hold on for a moment, as he turns around and continues his conversation.
LA Johnny Stylez: Well if it aint Terry Dudley my 5th favorite keeper of the law! Do yourself a favor and tell me some good news!
Terry Dudley: Well actually you are going to be quite pleased. Every task you sent for our office to have completed, notarized, and properly scared away has been completed. Some of the papers still need your signatures but we can get those when we see each other later today!
LA Johnny Stylez: Even the last one?...Because none of this works if that dumb ass kid is still locked up!
Terry Dudley: He is in the process of bonding out now!
LA Johnny Stylez: PERFECT! So it is also safe to assume he made the video he was firmly suggested to make and it’s posted on every snapchat, twitter, twitch, instagram..All that? I’m at my place in Chicago I’m finna hop on a plane, so I’ll see yall out there in about three and a half to four hours…Make sure three are as many cameras as you can there…This is turning out to be quite the scandal, and since he did everything required of him and more I will just assume the money cleared his balance! GOOD!
Let’s wrap this shit up! Thank you and your firm Terry yall came in PHUCKKKINNNN CLUTCH! And don’t you worry I’ll see to it that you get your reward as well…So hold the fort down I am on the way, and for the love of God don’t do or say anything to phuck this up! Thank you again and Terry while you’re at it…
Terry Dudley: Yes sir Mr. Stylez we also were able to get in touch with our people over at TMZ they will be airing it for at least the next three episodes, ut I’m sorry I think my phone cut out or something what was that last thing you said? While I’m at what?...WHat did you say you wanted?
LA Johnny Stylez: NAh nevermind still too early…GooD WoRK Terry turns out you’re not as useless Josh Cole on a rap beat…or any beat for that matter! K well, I gotta get goin, just when the kid gets out YOU GRAB HIM and DON’T LET ANY OF THE PRESS GET TO HIM BEFORE I GET THERE, is that CLEAR?
Terry Dudley: It is indeed, Im heading that way now, see you soon Mr. Stylez thank you!
LA Johnny Stylez: Yeah yeah whatever, Ill call you when I land!
Johnny presses his power button on his bluetooth device and then once again unmutes the TV where we see two of FOX NEWS’s experts breaking down the information regarding this sudden disturbing situation as more and more pieces of the story seemingly roll in a few pieces at a time. Johnny removes his sports coat and rolls up the black sleeves on his shirt, he then grabs the jacket and slings it over his shoulder after fastening the NEW Championship around his waist.
Johnny surveys the wasteland that has engulfed the entire property and a few of his neighbors property as well, and he recalls what he can from the night before. He then puts his ear buds in and presses play on his phoe as Candy Paint by POST MALONE plays to where we can hear it. Johnny then makes his way towards the exit, and the further away he gets the more the volume os Post Malone’s song continues to dwindle until you can’t hear it at all. But Johnny was nice enough to leave the TV on so you all can hear the details about this scandal.
We look up at a screen cut in half, one of them is a reporter the other is a guy that used to work for Blair in OPW that she fired one day on a whim, and they are going over the details they have surrounding the events that took place earlier that morning.
Fox Reporter: And OK so now we are being told that the former child actor, named Jeffrey Blackpool, who most may remember from his brief stint that he worked in the wrestling promotion known as New Edge Wrestling. So anyway young Jeffrey who is twenty two now, and originally he was hired to play the son of Blair Buchannan then ex boyfriend who is now also her ex husband LA Johnny Stylez…I’m sorry Daniel I see you squirming around over there is there something you’d like to add.
Before the dude speaks the moment the camera cuts to this more than middle-aged bald guy with thick rimmed glasses and a Megadeath t-shirt on, whose name flashes up on the screen Which is Daniel Forrester, and directly underneath it reads FORMER OPW BACKSTAGE WORKER AND PERSONAL ASSISTANT TO BLAIR BUCHANNAN.
Daniel Forester: Yes I really don’t mean to interrupt but if your information says that young Jeffrey was brought into to play the role he did…Jeffrey was never officially under contract with New Edge Wrestling.
In pro wrestling naturally people always are drawn in by real life drama and so Blair trying to get ahead hired this kid without letting anyone know, and she stormed into the arena where NEW was that evening and Blair Buchannan then introduced Johnny Stylez, who was being played by Jeffrey Backpoolm Blair was intentionally attempting to make Johnny Stylez think thet he fathered a child he didn’t know about. And in complete retrospect it really didn’t last all that long, as Johnny Stylez brought young Jeffrey onto the Maurey Povich show and ran a DNA test that came back saying Stylez was indeed fact not the father,
Justin Bynes (FOX): Wait are you saying? Are you stating that Blair Buchannan in an attempt to win a wresting match tried to fool her ex into believing he had a kid he never knew about?
Daniel Forester: Yes sir that is exactly what I am I’m saying. I too had the unfortunate experience to work directly under Blair Buchannan, and from the stories I heard from my friends who worked backstage roles within New Edge that Blair always has been a nightmare to work for, it almost makes some of us wish we were working for Ellen Degeneresss again!!
Justin Byrnes: : Well one of the pieces of this very bizarre puzzle came in not to long ago, apparently after Mr. Blackpool took a torch to the Serenity Ranch, he then cut what many have described as a “wrestling promo” on his former employer for breaking their contract, not paying money he was owed by her, and then blacklisted from almost every major production company in Hollywood, preventing him from doing the very thing she hired huim for!!
Daniel Forester: When OPW first opened there was also the controversy where Blair told her own daughter live on TV that she no longer cared to be her mother, and so she signed the legal papers releasing her from any more parental obligations, and her poor daughter was sent to live in a home that was just as if not more difficult than. The girls father also being an NEW competitor who goes by the name Roger Wright. Custody reverted back to Roger who was dating the woman known as Candice Page now, while Candice was going through an ugly divorce with her husband Vincent Black.
Justin Byrnes: Yes for those of you who have yet to see the video posted by Jeffrey Blackpool formerly known as Jimmy Stylez, then we suggest you do so, now we must warn you it is a little graphic in nature, if it wasn’t mostly curse words we could play it for you here and now, but I’m afraid the standards and practices of this station will not play it due to it’s graphic content.
But really folks get on any major news carrying sight and look this up for yourselves. This young man is in tears claiming that this woman stole his youth and ruined his career for doing only as she asked. He discusses how poorly she would treat him when they weren’t in front of the camera, and most importantly after the appearance on Maurey, Blair was said to be so angry she took it out on the only person she could…
Which at the time was a seven year old boy she hired! He recalls a specific evening where she left him at the arena without warning or notice after it was agreed upon in their contract that Blair was responsible for all the child's travel arrangements! Publicly chastizing the poor boy for getting more than one helping while eating in catering, calling him fat and that no one hires fat people! Man what does this lady have against overweight people?
Daniel Forrester: I can’t really say I know to the answer to that question, but I am very much aware of her prejudice against over weight people she is completely repulsed by them or at least thats what she told my cousin whos spot I took after she had had enough of Blair and all of her drama. I’ll tell you this Justin I have been workiong in this industry all my life and Blair Buchannan is one of those celebrities that does not treat most of us regular people with anything even resembling reespect.
The woman is a monster, and I feel bad for both her children, the faux one as well as her own flesh and blood who if my sources are to be believed which I can assure you they are have it on good authority that her young daughter who’s name is Mia refuses to even acknowledge the woman is her mother anymore! These kinda of people spoil the spectacles that fans come and pay their hard earned money to be entertained, it really is a shame! I only hope that Mr. Blackpool didn’t hurt anyone in his public outburst!
Justin Byrnes: Well if there is a silver lining in this at all, apparently just twenty four hours before Mr. Blackpool’s arson the property was purchased by an anonymous group of investors and they closed everything down to remodel as well as begin construction on brand new facilitie. So no, no one was hurt, but Mr. Blackpool is still at this very moment incarcerated and what the future holds for him is anyone’s guess…?
The scene then quickly glitches..once then again…and then again. Then the channel we were watching the news report on completely changes to CBS.
…The NeXT DaY!
!!!!!He’s A ToTaL PHUCKSOCK!!!!
…But we DIGReSS…AGAIN
A LiL LaTeR…
The hosts and practically ever single member of the live studio audience sat there completely and utterly APPLAUD!!! As they should be, if yall got kids yall…YO NEVER LEAVE THEM BITCHES AROUND BLAIR BUCHANNAN…She is only mature enough to care about one life at a time, and if you look at most her actions it seems she doesn’t even care about that one, so save your two cents you might need it to pay attention to something more important shortly down the road.
Now Jeffrey’s timeslot was just about up so Cheryl Underwood began wrapping things up and informing Jeffrey they had a surprise for him. First of which was $15,000 collected so far on a GOFUNDME page that more and more people are visiting quite often. SHe then also inform Jeffrey as well as everyone else in the audience that they have another special guest today…NONE OTHER THAN 7x NE WChampion, LA Johnny Stylez.
SOMEONE, ANYONE by Anberling blares in the back ground as Johnny walks out in his suit and has the NEW World TItle glimmering under the bright studio lights. Johnny is very well dressed in his tailormade suit, as he walks in with a huge shit eating grin on his face. He looks into the camera and winks at a very special someone…(IT WAS YOU B!!! He walks out shakes hands and hugs with all the guests…Johnny even had the audacity to reach over and pinch Cherryl’s butt before she sat down. Cherryl tried to hit Johnny on his butt but she missed and then Johnny then backs up close to her so she can get a better shot.
After everyone calms down and sits down, CHeryl Underwood welcomes Johnny to the show, and asked him if he’s like to let Jeffrey in on their little secret. Johnny eagerly nods as Cheryl calls for the crowd to be silent.
LA Johnny Stylez well boys and girls thanks for having me, it truly is regrettable that we have to meet each other for the first time under these terrible circumstances. But all we can do is move forward and try to do better in the future!
Amanda Kloots: Hold on Mr. Stylez my son is a huge wrestling fan, so as a parent naturally it sort of indirectly makes us wrestling fans, we have had several wrestlers on this show before, Blair Buchannan included, so I know who you are, and you aren’t exactly known for your good side, your disdain for fans is very well documented!
LA Johnny Stylez: That is fair Amanda, but you see not even I can ignore when the universe is telling you to do something. You see I play a character on TV and I guess I’m really good at it, people boo me when I walk into a got damn SUBWAY! But like this kid Jeffrey Stylez
Crowd laughs
LA Johnny Stylez: He one hundred percent is not my son, but I know what it is like to be on the wrong end of a Blair Buchannan
!!!!!TeMPeR TaNTRuM!!!!!
…ANd TRUST WHEN I SAY IT AINT EXACTLY PLEASENT!!
Too put it mildly of course!
Sheryl Underwood: Come on yall we heard stories! ANd not just the ones we all heard today OKAAYYYYY?
The crowd gives a round of applause for the direct approach Cherryl Underwood has become quite famous for….So Johnny why don’t you go ahead and let us know why you are really here today!
LA Johnny Stylez: OK…Well I am not only the one who bailed this little joker out…But I also decided not to press charges!
Jeremy O’Connell” Press charges what do you mean?
LA Johnny Stylez: Well when people destroy your property it is still up to them if you want to press charges right?
Amanda Kloots:: But why would you purchase that property?
LA Johnny Stylez: Well Amanda don’t think I haven’t been asking myself that question a lot over the last 24 hours…I mean the one time I decide to give philanthropy a try I got this kid making me think its not such a good idea. BUt where else can these sad starlets go to escape the dregs of being famous?
...We are going to rebuild…And I am also going to be paying young Jeffrey here all the money he is owed from his expired contract with Blair as well as the money she agreed to pay him after turning 18 as per their agreement…ANd well she may have ruined his name around this neck of the woods…And sure he now has a record, but I don’t see what he did as any different from a protester getting arrested for throwing paint on some lady’s fur coat!
Sherryl Underwood: OHHH NU-UH Mr. Stylez them people need to be taken out back and…
LA Johnny Stylez: No mam watch it Cheryl! Don’t start using that dirty mouth or I’ll mess around and make you come work for me?
Cherryl Underwood: Brazzers or in NEW?
LA Johnny Stylez: YES!
The crowd laughs and claps as Johnny looks around at the table and theninto the camera where he winks and he doesn’t say it outloud…But you can clearly see him mouth the words…
!!!!!SoaK!!!!!
!!!!!SoMe!!!!
!!!!!!UP!!!!!!
As the crowd claps Johnny also nudges Jeffrey Blackpool and motions for him to look off to his left. He sees BRAZZER girls Olivia Austen and Brooklyn Chase smiling and waving at him. Johnny looks at Jeffrey and winks. He picks up the NEW Championship belt THAT YALL KNOW he brought on this show, and he slings it over his shoulder as the scene fades leaving you with the same notion we always duz…Because this time just like all them uddah times
….HaS BeeN YoUR PLea$uRe!!!
4:19
GoT
-A-
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