...See WHaT HaD HaPPeNeD WAS!!!
Feb 5, 2024 23:28:44 GMT -6
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Post by lajohnnystylez419 on Feb 5, 2024 23:28:44 GMT -6
Scene opens in a garage. We see a large worn out looking bench press and a man lying on it pumping some serious iron. We hear the song “SuPeR FReaK” by Rick James in the background, as we hear the sound of a phone ringing. Like imagine the worst ringtone you’ve ever heard in your life, and now imagine that it won’t stop. It’s not long until we hear a female voice scream from another room…
Female Voice: CHRISTOPHER Ulyessus STYLES!!!
The screaming is so loud it pierces the forcefield his earbuds placed around him being able to hear aynything. It actually kinda startled him, as he places the bench back on the press and sits up. He grabs a towel as he rolls his eyes visibly aggravated, as he shakes his head while calling out…while the phone is still ringing…Well it stops, but then it starts again.
Chris Styles: WHAT?...I TOLD YOU I AM WORKING OUT MOM! AND YOU KNOW HOW I GET WHEN IM IN THE ZONE!
MaMa Styless: ANSWER YOUR DAMN PHONE BOY! It’s been ringing off the damn hook for half an hour!
Chris’s eyes then begin to shoot around the room as he can’t seem to recall where he left his phone. Eventually he spots it on the small table he has next to his beanbag chair, and several bags of Cheetohs…Puffs and crunchy cause life is all about options! He walks over grabbing it, taking a moment to glance at it he rolls his eyes when he sees the name above the face of the man calling…And you would too probably when you found yourself glaring at the arrogant smirk of THe New Edge Wrestling HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION, LA Johnny Stylez. You can see Chris debating whether or not to answer, but this is the third time he has called in a row, so despite every voice in his head begging him not to do it…He does it anyway?
Chris Styles: NO JOHNNY! I LIKE WRESTLING IN JEAN SHORTS, IT’S COMFORTABLE, CASUAL, AND CHiCKS DIG IT! You might think they don’t…BUT BELIEVE ME BUDDY THEYYYYY DO!...SO stop fucking bugging me about it, or for real I’ll tell MoM…and you have to ask yourself if her good graces are something you want to be out of! Which we both know you don’t!
LA Johnny Stylez: CHRIS…CHRIS LISTEN TO ME MAN, I’M NOT TRYING TO BE A DICK HERE, BUT RIGHT NOW I REALLY NEED YOU TO SHUT THE PHUCK UP, cause uhh well…WHen is like, ya know the last time you uhhhh
?HeaRD FRoM YoUR BRuDDaH?
…AsKiNG FOR a FRiEND!?!
So come on SHoRT STaCK…out with it already! We’Re BuRNiN PHuCkIN DayLyGHT OvA HeReEeE!!!!
Chris Styles: Wait what?...What the hell happened to my brother? Johnny I swear to GOD if something happen to my brother on your watch you might as well find a nice cold place to commit suicide because Mom and eveyrone else she is related to will murder you, and probably do it slow!
LA Johnny Stylez: Chris I need you to listen to me…First of all, nothing happened to Jesse…As far as I know…We just kinda ya know…Can’t find him?!? So if you’ve talked to him quit being a dinkus and phucking tell me, and I swear if you tell your Mother about any of this Ill do to every pair of your jean shorts you buy for the rest of your life what I did to Adrien Specter’s mask!
Chris Styles: DUDE NOT COOL YOU DON’T THREATEN TO PEE SOMEONE ELSE’S PANTS!
LA Johnny Stylez: You ever known me to make an IDLE THREAT?
Chris Styles: OK FINE! BUT HE BETTER BE OK! Cause lord knows you can’t run NEW, HA…That would be a total disaster…
LA Johnny Stylez: CHRIS FOR PHUCKS SAKE…YOUR BROTHER…HAVE YOU SPOKEN TO HIM?
Chris Styles: Well that’s kind of a tricky question see, cause he texted me a bunch of shit eariler…SOme of it made sense, some of it wasn’t even English I figured you took his phone and started being an asshole…
LA Johnny Stylez: And how long ago was this?
Chris Styles: Um around three a.m. this morning!
LA Johnny Stylez: PHUCK!...Well I mean that kinda helps…But really doesn’t tell me shit so PHUCK!!!
Chris Styles: JOHNNY HOW ABOUT YOU TELL ME HOW IN THE HELL YOU LOSE ONE OF THE MOST POWERFUL MEN IN THE WRESTLING BUSINESS LIKE HE WAS ONE OF YOUR BAGS OF CHEEBA?
LA Johnny Stylez: I don’t lose them I misplace them, ya phuckin TaLLyWHaCKeR! Atlantis is LOST…Hunter Valentyne’s memory, dignity, and appeal are LOST! Do you see the difference?
Chris Styles: My question still stands!
LA Johnny Stylez:...K well
!!!!!See WHaT HAD HaPPeNeD WaS!!!!
…AW PHUCK, HOLD ON CHRIS, WELL THIS ISN’T PHUCKING GOOD..HEY ISER THE GOT DAMN COPS ARE HERE!!!
Chris Styles: THE COPS?...JOHNNY WHAT THE FUCK MAN?...WHAT’S GOING ON?...JOHNNY JOHNNY FUCKING TALK TO ME!!!
Chris then shuts up to see if maybe Johnny was talking and he was just freaking out too loud to hear it. But the he doesn’t hear his cousins’s soothing and intoxicating voice…INstead all he hears on the other end is…
Voice: JOHNNY STYLEZ AND SETH ISER YOU ARE BOTH UNDER ARREST!!!
!!!!HoLD Up!!!!
…We GoTTa BACK THiS SHiT WAYYYYYY UP!!!
Cause see…WHAT HAD HaPPeNeD WAS!!!
…A FeW WeeX AGo…
Scene then opens a few days after the second episode of IGNITE aired. Jesse going through some personal issues opted to take a quick trip to the beach to clear his head…ANd for some odd reason he decided to invite his cousin along, as well as several other various family members. Jesse is standing on the balcony of the luxury condo he rented out for the week and is grilling up some steaks. Suddenly the patio door slides open and out stumbles the New Edge Wrestling Heavyweight Champion of the World. He is visibly inebriated, as he removes a joint from behind his ear, and walks over to see how things are going on the grill. Jesse looks over his shoulder and sees who it is and rolls his eyes almost chuckling to himself at the absurdity that is LA Johnny Stylez. Johnny grabs his white rimmed sunglasses and puts them back on while running his hands through his blue hair letting it hang in his face. Johnny walks over to two large white ice chests against the wall of the balcony. Johnny opens the one on the left up and as we can now see for ourselves is filled to the tippy F’N top with nothing but BUDWEISER! Johnny pulls one out and pops the top literally three seconds before Jesse has a chance to say…
Jesse Styles: Hey Johnny grab me a….Ohhh cool THANKS MAN! Make sure you stay away from Chris with all of your nonsense he is finally doing good man, like really good and if you fuck that up, I’ll have to fuck you up…Or at the very least send you to get him out of the next MOTEL the CHeetah decides to take up as territory…And you do recall how the last three times went yes?
LA Johnny Stylez: OK, OK! I mean I wasn’t…But please don’t ever make me do that again please!
Jesse Styles: Just wanna make sure we are on the same page!...Ohhh I keep forgetting to tell you asshole, got some good news!
LA Johnny Stylez: Hunter finally learned that people who lose ALL THE TIME aren’t really remembered for anything other than being a
???F’N L.O.S.E.R.!!!!!
…Cause WOW!
Jesse Styles: Johnny STOP I said I had good news not a FUCKING MIRACLE!!!
LA Johnny Stylez: BuMMeR! K so quickly tell me the good news so I don’t have to spend my vacation thinking about that worthless shitkicker!
Jesse Styles: Well, I thought you would like to know that the next IGNITE will be at home! We’re headed to New Orleans for the next IGNITE!!!
Johnny doesn’t say anything he doesn’t have to…A goofy grin shoots from one side of his cheek to the other until it is a full blown GooFy ASS smile. You know the look kids make when someone informs them SaNTa CLaU$e comes tonight, and that’s the look on this muddah phuckerz face presently. Jesse sees this and immediately recognizes trouble, as Johnny stands up, and Jesse notices he is wearing his NEW CHampionship belt…Like he has literally the entire time they have been here! Jesse looks his cousin up and down and takes a swig of his beer, before looking directly at Johnny who was now standing and dancing in place shaking his head yes as Jesse tells him..
Jesse Styles: I don’t know what kind of scheme your brain is hatching, but the answer is NO! NO NO NO! WHatever it is your brain is devising right now I’m telling you right now I want NO PART OF IT! NO…FINAL ANSWER!!!
…GuESS HoW WeLL THaT SHiT WORKED OUT???
…CaUsE See…WHaT HaD HaPPeNeD Wa$!!!!
Well don’t worry it was never the plan to leave that one to the imagination! You can see for yourselves how it turned out…Yall watch this shit! Brace yourselves mi amigos…Cause it’s finna be
~$~ ONe oF THo$e KiNDa NiGHTZ ~$~
CaU$e ToNiGHTTTTT BoURBoN STREET GeTZ THe Bu$iNESS!!!!
And believe us when we phuckin tell ya…Bu$iNe$$ boyz and girlz is
!!!!! F’n GooD!!!!!
…ANd NOT Ju$T CaUse THiS Go RoUND THeRe IS A WHoLE LoT LeSS HuNTer VaLenTyNe!!!
But to be fair what situation isn’t phucking improved by removing his stupid ass from it? But anyway let’s get back to the shit that matters! Cause as we were trying to tell you, business has been, is, and in all likelyhood will continue to be very good for the Styles Mafia, the NEW World Champion even more so, on account of this being the first time he has come back home to New Orleans since reclaiming the NEW World Championship. And well for those of you that don’t already know…New Orleans is one of if not the only place geographically known on the entire planet where LA Johnny Stylez entrance theme isn’t met with thunderous, deafening BOOS! NoPe here at the BoTToM oF the map they for reasons unknown to anyone modern psychology would deem sane, they absolutely
!!!!!F’N LoVe HiM!!!!!!
…ALMoST aS MuCH iF NoT MoRe THaN He LoVeZ THEM!!!
WHich explains the more than warm embrace he received once he stepped foot off of Jesse’s private jet and back onto Big Easy soil…errr concrete!
Scene then suddenly switches to Jesse’s learjet docked at its terminal, and we see a very large crowd holding up signs, wearing their SOAK SOME UP shirts, there is even a group of teenagers that dyed their hair blue. Jesse is the first to emerge, and he himself receives a rather warm reaction. He takes a few steps down the stairs leading towards the ground before acting like he forgot something, as he steps back up and calls for his cousin to join him. After a few brief moments a cloud of smoke pours out of the plane like it was on fire, which was enough to send this crowd into a tizzy! Then YoURZ F’N TRuLy emerges into clear plain view of everyone present, and the crowd comes unglued.
THe PaRaGoNa oF AMeRiKaNa steps out wearing a pair of black cargo shorts, with a shiney silver chain running from his back pocket to his front belt loop. He is wearing a brand new New Edge t-shirt that has the simple phrase
???VaLoRa WHO???
Which WiLL Mo$T LiKeLy OUTSELL THOSE BIA NOBODY SHIRTS BY A WIDE MARGIN!!!
Johnny’s blue hair hangs over the thick rims of his white Rayban sunglasses, and as always plastered across his face is the most arrogant smirk you’ve ever seen in your life. Only somethings missing…His enemble is just like all his others, but there is something not right about this. Johnny goes to join Jesse in making his way off of the plane, but then stops and snaps his fingers and looks out at the crowd with a mischevious grin as he shrugs his shoulders and even lightly slaps himself on the forehead as he looks out at the crowd and says…
!!!!“I ALMo$T F’N FoRGoT”!!!!
…EVeNTHoUGH WE ALL KNOW THaT SHiT AInT TRUE!!!
Johnny then turns around and reaches back into the jet and when he turns back around it’s suddenly much brighter as he holds his NEW World Heavyweight Championship belt proudly above his head as the fans erupt into a frenzy. THe center plate glimmers and gleams in the sunlight of this utterly FLAWLESS New Orleans afternoon! Jesse has reached the bottom and is looking up at his cousin and he rolls his eyes and laughs to himself as Johnny eventually joins him at the bottom. THey go to leave but Johnny motions for his cousin to stop, as he turns around and heads straight for the crowd. It doesn’t take him long until he finds himself directly in the center of this large unruly mob, as he for once takes some of his own advice and SOAKS it all UP! THe sheer significance of the moment may never be lost on the man who presently proudly lays claim to the top prize
!!!!IN THE ENTIRE F’N GAME!!!!
AND SiDEZ HE LITERALLY NEVER GETS CHEERED, SO PHUCK YOU…LeT HiM HaVe THIS!
ANd after a few moments of Johnny enjoying some well earned adulation, he makes his way from out of the crowd and joins his cousin in the limo that is going to take them to their destination because now with this shit out of the way it was time to get back to it because there was absolutely BUSINESS that needed tending to and all kinds of phuckin trouble to get into, but don’t worry you’ll see!
….A FeW DaZe LaTeR!!!
Scene opens up inside the recently rebuilt and remodeled gentlemen’s club at the very front of Bourbon Street known as OUTLAWZ, which up until yesterday was the one and only strip club on the most sinful street in these here UNITED STATES that regularly featured the biggest stars ADULT ENTERTAINMENT HAS to offer, but more on that shit in a bit.
We start at the open entrance as we see brand new bar tops. Three elaborate stages, one is your traditional strip club stage with a pole and everything. The stage to its left has a large black mechanical bull that Johnny Stylez went to great expense to ensure everyone that lays eyes on it knows that this here mechanical bull is unlike any other on the planet…SO much so he even gave it a name, and as you can clearly see for yourselves by the sign above that reads
“THe VeRGe oF GReaTNe$$”
APTLY NaMeD AFTeR A CoUPLE oF Johnny’z PALZ…MaYBe YaLL HeaRD oF EM!!!
And the stage on the right has two large black leather recliner chairs, this stage is more so for bachelor parties and special occasions and shit. The camera conitnues to pan around the lavish and elaborate modern building. We see BRAZZERS movie posters, we see framed still photos of Johnny Stylez at various points throughout his career. THen we make it to the main bar that stretches from one side of the building to the other and has any and every kind of alcohol you could possibly desire…Let us put it to yall this way…If they aint got it
!!!!YOU DON’T F’N WANT IT!!!!
…TRuST US, WE WOULDNT LiE TO YaLL BoUT THiS SHiT, PROMISE!!!!
Above the bar is a large plexiglass black and white Jolly Roger pirate flag with the phrase
“HoNoR AMoNG$T THiEVeZ”
Written in a slight you shape underneath the jaw of the skull. Which then brings us to the staircase that brings us up to the VIP area and Johnny’s office. There are three rooms at the top of the stairs. One is the VIP or “CHAMPAGANE ROOM” that actually has a LOT of sex in it despite Chris Rock’s opinion on the matter. The second room is an elaborate meeting room where Johnny can host his business meetings and mix business with pleasure better than anyone else on the planet!
The third room which is where we presently find ourselves is Johnny’s own personal office. We see a large black marble desk that has a platinum hemp leaf installed at the center of it. It has two built in glass ash treys to his right and his left of his large black recliner. Behind is his personal trophy case which includes all the proof any of you ever need to answer the question of who the greatest star in the history of NEW EDGE WRESTLING IS, WAS, and ALWAYZ F’N WILL BE…As in this particular trophy case is every single major NEW CHAMPIONSHIP ever, as he is the only person in the company’s history to HOLD EVERY PHUCKING ONE OF THEM, and of course they are all polished and pretty. We see Johnny Stylez standing looking down at the floor of his club through his large one sided windows. For now the floor is empty but all of that will change here shortly.
Cause see this homecoming was special to the NEW CHAMPION for more than one reason. Not only is it the first time he’s been home since winning back HIS CHAMPIONSHIP belt that cements his status as the one to be officially recgonized as
~$~ BeTTeRTHaNu ~$~
…And Yes WE ARE TALKING ABOUT YOU!
But also as the front page of the New Orleans morning newspaper tells you in black bold letters apparently one of the co-founderz of the BuSiNeSS has been actually quite busy making some business moves of his own, as the camera pans around the desk until the headline can be see clear as day
“BoURBoN STReeT BaD GuY BACK AT IT”
New Orleans FaVoRiTe (BaSTaRD) Son, Corners THE MARKET ON BOURBON STREET!
As of yesterday LA Johnny Stylez entered into a partnership with fellow owners of remaining strip clubs on the most infamous sinful street in these here UNITED STATES, bringing them all underneath the OUTLAWS/BRAZZERS umbrella and now they all feature the biggest names in all of ADULT ENTERTAINMENT…and juuuusssst before Mardi Gras, so yeah like we was try’na TeLL YA
!!!!!BuSiNESS iZ GooD!!!!!
SO AT THiS PoINT iF ThiS SHiT iZ NeWZ 2 Ya, THeN YoU HaD BeTTeR ASK SOMEBODY!!!
As Johnny stands in his office looking at the floor smoking a cigarette, he slightly turns and gazes into one of the mirrors on the far right side of the wall. He then turns and gives himself a once over, making sure he looks as dapper as the chick who sold him these fancy duds said he would and well, the NEW World Heavyweight Champion and hometown hero LA Johnny Stylez could have easily been mistaken for a GQ cover model in dark aubergine cargo pants made of canvas and tucked into large black leather combat boots with the laces slightly undone, a fitted blazer that was the same color of the cargo pants only it was made from satin. The suit jacket was open and instead of a dress shirt—or any shirt for that matter—Johnny opted for a dark green sling harness made from alligator, with a strap going across his upper chest. A small emerald green magnolia made of glass, pinned to the lapel, punctuated the look…But still he noticed it was missing a lil…or BIG somethin, but no worries Ea$y FIX…
He nods to himself and flashes his arrogant smirk as he walks over to his desk and grabs his NEW World Heavyweight Championship belt that was draped over the back of his chair and he walks back in front of his desk and throws it over his shoulder and his grin turns into a smile, as he hears a knock at the door. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a pair of white sunglasses and puts them on as he says…
LA Johnny Stylez: IT’S OPEN!!!
The door swings open and in walks his fellow BuSiNESS associates, newest member former NEW World Champion Seth Iser who is dressed to the 9’s as well, who in a departure from his usual style was the flashiest of the group in a steampunk inspired Merlot tinted crushed velvet sleeveless vest with a tailcoat back, and black slacks that were tucked into maroon colored equestrian style riding boots. The vest was fastened with baroque gold hardware. He finished the look with a top hat adorned with a pair of large round goggles with dark red lenses, an antique analog clock directly above the glasses, and small gold magnolias screwed into the body of the hat on either side of the clock.
Seth walks in and immediately shakes hands with Johnny, as Johnny nods in his general direction as he then walks over to a bar at the far left side of the room and reaches down into the well and removes a bottle of DoM…He sets three champagne glasses up and goes to unwrapping and popping the cork as his cousin enters the room lookin rather dapper himself…
The newly single Captain at the helm of S.S New Edge was channeling his inner fuckboy tonight, letting it all hang out in a tight white ribbed tank that clung to his muscular frame. The tank top was tucked into a pair of cream colored high waisted cotton-satin trousers that were held up by a pair of light brown ostrich leather suspenders that were embossed with the fashion house’s signature magnolia logo. The trousers had a defined crease running down the front, and a classic break which made for a clean drape over his dress shoes: camel colored genuine ostrich leather wing-tipped oxfords. A newsboy cap, in a shade that was the color of desert sand, was shifted slightly off its axis as it sat atop Jesse’s otherwise clean shaven head.
Johnny raises his eyebrows very impressed with the selections as he went out of his way to ensure this evening was for a lack of a better term
~!$!~ P.E.R.F.E.C.T> ~!$!~
…Or AT LeaST A LoT CLaSSiER THaN Any PaRTy CeLeBraTiNG ADULT ENTERTAINEMENT HAS ANY RIGHT TO BE!!!
But all three look as razor sharp as their skills inside of the squared circle, and each of them carries themselves like a pro..SO brothers lock up your sisters, cause well it’s a FULL MOON and shit and well it is NEW ORLEANS…Get yourself a calculator if you need help doing the math! Johnny immediately notices his cousin is kinda fidgety, not quite uncomfortable but a little out of his element so to speak. SO Johnny finishes pouring the champagne in all three glasses, setting the bottle back in the ice in the well, he walks over and goes to hand the glasses to his compatriots, but Iser holds his hand up.
Seth Iser: Not for me sir, I’m afraid I don’t partake…
Jesse Styles: FUCK THAT, I’ll take his TOO!!!
Jesse’s hand immediately reaches out and grabs both glasses from Johnny and immediately throws one back. He hands the empty one to his cousin who is standing in front of him practically with his jaw on the floor. His squinted eyes and sly smile indicate he has an idea of whats going on, but some shit you just gotta let play out.
LA Johnny Stylez: Jess…amigo you OK bruddah? You look like you might spontaneously combust!
Jesse Styles: Johnny MUST YOU BE A DICK ALL THE TIME?
LA Johnny Stylez: I mean sometimes yeah, but all the time?...I mean I don’t suppose, but how about we discuss whats actually going on? Because I have quite the evening as well as the most epic morning either of you have either had lined up, and allz we gotta do is walk right out the door the both of you came in! SO if we’ve any matters that need sorting now, let’s go ahead and sort the shit cause we are
!!!!BuRNiN MooNLiGHT HeRe FeLLaZ!!!!
…ANd BeLieVe Me WHeN I TeLL Ya IT’S IN ALL oF OuR Be$T INTeReST iF We Go HEaD and GeT 2 GeTTiN, FeeL ME?
I mean I’m just sayin!
Jesse Styles: Yeah well it’s just…Just uhhh the first time I’ve done this in a very long time, and uhhh I DON’T FUCKING KNOW…Johnny where is that got damn bottle!
Johnny smiles the kind of smile that you only smile after learning you were indeed fact correct in summing up a situation. Johnny stands to the side allowing Jesse to see the quickest route to the bar behind him. Jesse then brushes past him and walks over and sets down his empty champagne flute and picks up the bottle and turns it upside down.
LA Johnny Stylez: You sure I can interest you in something Seth? Cause if booze aint your jam, please believe me when I tell ya we literally have it all. Grass, powders, pills, if I don’t got it you don’t want it!...SO what’s your pleasure?
Seth blinks quizzically for a moment, a frown coming over his face.
Seth Iser: ...I just some water.
He pauses for a moment.
Seth Iser: ...I was half expecting you to go through the seven dwarfs routine about the drugs. That was the easiest way to try to learn what someone wanted when I did'm.
LA Johnny Stylez: Fair enough! And Jess…Lissen at me bruh…Take it easy…Well take another swig…K now deep breathes and then take a moment to realize you are fixing to attend a party every porn watching assbag in America would slit each others throats to pretend…ANd you two gentlemen along with myself are the
!!!!GuE$TZ oF HoNoR!!!!
SO ReaLLy ITZ NoTHiN OuT THe F’N ORDINARY!!!!
They are pornstars…Fellaz…Which means they aren’t quite whores, but still uhhh
!!!!SaMe NeiGHBoRHooD DiFFeReNT STReeT!!!!!
SO JuST KiCK BaCK & As We SaY HeRe IN THE BiG EaZY…LeT THe GooD TiMEZ ROLL!!!
But they say it in FRENCH, but we don’t have time for all that! So Jess if you and your bottle would care to join us over here we can get this shit started because before we get in trouble I would like to say a lil somethin!
Jesse Styles: I thought you said time was an issue!
LA Johnny Stylez: Ohhhhhh, got a bottle of liquid courage now he’s got jokes! I see you Jesse Styles! But for now ZIP IT BITCH! I’ll be like Valora’s reign as NEW CHAMPION, which as history remembers only as
!!!!!BRIEF AS P.H.U.C.K.!!!!!
ONLY I’LL BE MUCH MORE MEMORABLE!!!
SO unless you two are done with all your “hilarious jokes” I’d just like to say I’m proud of us all for making it this far. New Edge is back up and running, I got the most profitable racket on Bourbon street all under my umbrella, and well gentlemen this evening is about a celebration of all that! Where we find ourselves presently in NEW EDGE the world is once again ours for the taking, and while there is still very much to do…We should still stop for a got damn second and enjoy the fruits of our success, cause the good news here GeNTZ is this is only the beginning! So HERE’S TO A NIGHT probably only Seth will remember but the rest of us
~$~ WiLL NeVeR F’N FoRGeT ~$~
…NOW LETS GO GET PHUCCCKKKEDDD ASSSS UP!!!
After you gentlemen!!!
Seth Iser: Wait that was the end of your speech?...Wow there is a first time for everything!
Jesse who at this point is starting to feel “it” bursts into laughter as Seth shoots a sly smile, while Johnny stops and even has to laugh a bit himself.
LA Johnny Stylez: Gunna be one of them kinda nights huh?...Well best get to it then! Jess you good?
Jesse Styles: Well if you’ll stand aside Cicero I’ll gladly show you how its done!
LA Johnny Stylez: Sounds like a yes to me! Seth that was funny, but may I suggest not trying anymore jokes? We don’t wanna scare the ladies K?...ALRIGHT…Put your got damn game faces on BoyZ, cause it’s GaME TIME!!!
…WeLCoMe 2 THa GooD LiFE!!!!
LiKe WE ALWAyZ Do @ THiS TIME!!!!
This very motley yet still dangerously savage crew makes their way down the stairs as “THE GOOD LIFE” by Kayne West and T-PAIN plays in the back ground. THere is a movie esq slow motion walk as the trio exit Johnny’s private office and make their way down to the floor of OUTLAWZ that has begun to fill with Johnny’s BRAZZERS girls as well as the rest of the New Orleans elite who have been invited to that lil shindig.
Johnny in the middle of course is a few steps in front of his podnuhs as he takes the final step off the staircase and is immediately met by his assistant adult film star Peyton Preselee who has taken to calling herself Ms. BeHaVe these days. She has his platinum 4:19 cigarette case that don’t hold cigarettes. He opens it up removes a prerolled blunt and pops it in his mouth. He then leans in as Behave lights it for him. He takes a long hit as his eyes dart all over the room noting everyone that was present and accounted for. He then looks her way and winks as he puts the blunt back in his mouth and takes a long hit as the volume of the song cranks up. Johnny exhales a cloud of smoke that slowly rises and vanishes into the air just like the scene we are presently watching.
As the song continues to play it was almost as if someone was watching this shit from some control booth as suddenly the party we were watching in present time begins to fast forward allowing us to only see mere moments of the EPIC…EPICCCCCC evening these super villains enjoyed.
We see Johnny standing ontop of the main bar double fisting two bottles of champagne while everyone in the room is crowded around cheering him on. We then cut to Johnny pointing to the main stage where we see adult film stars Ava Adams and former OPW announcer now just back to being regular old adult film star and manager of OUTLAWZ Mason Moore giving the performance of a lifetime that Johnny should have probably charged peope to watch. We then cut to Seth Iser kicked back enjoying a tall glass of water while surrounded by blondes, brunettes, redheads as they seemingly hang on his every word as he recounts one of his very many violent pro wrestling exploits, we see him pointing to the scars that came from it as all the ladies seem beside themselves.
Then we cut to a shot of Jesse who was at the bar enjoying a drink, but then a slow smile creeps across his face as he orders a shot…takes it, slams the glass down on the bar and then decides it is time for him to join Olivia Austin who had now taken the stage. Johnny and Iser are the first to see it as they are on opposite sides of the room. Just like yall they watched on with enthusiastic curiosity, as we all know this man…SO we all know whatever the HeLL is going on right now if anything is completely out of pocket for him…SO Johnny rushes over to Iser who looked like he was going to try and stop him and Johnny some how convinces Iser to just let it play out.
Jesse stands up on stage as Olivia shoots a nervous look at Johnny who shrugs his shoulders and Olivia then turns to Jesse, flashes a very flirty smile and then joins Jesse in the wonderful realm of IMPROVISED LIVE ENTERTAINMENT! Jesse then calls for another bottle of DOM, and then begins to what we are left to assume is dancing, but well Jesse is a middle aged white dude who as we see actually has a fair amount of rhythm for a dude with two left feet!...And as Johnny said earlier this is just where the shit starts.
Jesse keeps pounding drinks and partying. THe crowd absolutely lovs him as this is a side of Jesse, judging from the looks of everyone around is a side only Johnny has seen (who he would gladly tell you makes this one of those VERY VERY VERYVERYVERY rare occasions.) BUT IT’S AWESOME!!!
THe party rages on as does Jesse Styles we see him in the middle of two big breasted females arguing over who gets to make out with him, eventually calming them down telling them they both can…THen stopping a few moments later to explain he didn’t mean AT THE SAME TIME! We watch more of one of the wildest nights in the history of this street which is truly saying something. One of the last few shots we see is of Johnny standing on his balcony and Jesse barging into his office with lip stick all over his collar, his shirt is missing a few buttons, and he’s even missing a shoe. Johnny looks at rhe goofy wide ass smile on his face and calls to his cousin who narrows his eyes making sure he recgonized the name calling to him. He joins Johnny on the balcony and we see Johnny go to hand him his blunt as Jesse pauses looks down at it and we can almost hear the debate in his brain…ANd then Jesse reaches out and ACCEPTS. Johnny’s face come alive with excitement as Jesse takes it leans back and lets her rip…THen another then another…and then
COUGHING
And LOTS OF IT! Some of the Bourbon’s nightly walkers pass by and stop to cheer Jesse on. After a few moments of violent coughing Jesse who was leaned over shoots up with both arms raised letting everyone know HE WAS GOOD. They start cheering, and Jesse points to the prettiest girl he sees and shouts….”SHOW US YOUR TITS!” She looks up as a crowd is beginning to form underneath the private party. THe crowd cheers the girl on as she looks up at Jesse and asks…”NO BEADS?” Jesse then looks at Johnny who shrugs…JEsse then turns around and then motions for the girl to “HOLD ON…ONE SECOND.”
The NEW CHAMPION was too blasted to notice his cousin going into his office removing a platinum chain given to him by fellow New Orleans native LiL Wayne after performing at OUTLAWZ some time ago…Actually by the time Johnny notices what Jesse had done the chain was already in the girls hand and her PuPPiES were OUT FOR A WALK! The crowd roars with approval as Johnny looks at his cousin FOR ONCE CUTTING loose, and shrugs his shoulders making peace with it.
Scene then shoots to more shots, more boobs, more girls, MORE EVERYTHING. We then see ISER, and Johnny trying to keep Jesse’s crazy from pouring out on even further onto Bourbon as he had gone down and started a large flash mob doing the SUPERMAN on the street below. Well there was this one joker who tried to get all grabby on Mason Moore who was right next to Jesse. We see Iser coming out of left field to the rescue but before Iser can get within reach Jesse rares back and sends his fist flying into this butt jokers face and before you know it a WILD brawl breaks out and then there is CHAOS…
Chaos that sends almost every fist on Bourbon street flying. It isn’t long before the 50’s show up and BLUE LIGHTS ARE EVERYWHERE. THe cops get out and immediately try and deescalate the situation, and while the cops fare busy dealing with this catastrophic situation we see Jesse Styles, Mason Moore, and Oliva Austin sneak away from the fray hop into a cop car. Jesse in the driver seat, throws that bitch in reverse and then slams on the gas. HE SMASHES the fucking light pole then puts the car in drive and we hear the tires screeching as he peels out and drives off into the brisk BoURBON STREET MORNING AIR, while literally everyone stops brawling and watches.
The cops then try to scramble back to their cars to deal with this brand new situation. The last shot we see is of the New Edge Wrestling World Heavyweight Champion standing with his back against the wall directly underneath the large red OUTLAWZ LED sign smiling and shaking his head as the cops run around like a bunch of ants after their pile was stepped on.
…And then the scene fades to
…THe NeXT MoRNiNG
9:45 a.m.
…Before we go ahead and get started here yall, we need to stop and warn yall muh phuckerz K? Cause well see last night was kind of a big night for our boyz in
~$~ THe Bu$iNe$$ ~$~
…THaT Hunter VaLeNTyNe STiLL WiSHeS HE WaS CooL EnOUGH TO Be IN, BUT HE’S NOT…SO He’$ NoT!!!!
But quickly switching the subject back to things that matter, so yeah last night got a little uhhh, how the adults say
!!!!!OuT oF F’N HaND!!!!!
AND SHiT GoT LiKe THaT QuiTE QuICKeR THaN THe CyCLe BeTWeeN VaLoRA’Z MeN$TRuaL CyCLeZ!!!
It was wild, it was crazy, and honestly we aren’t even 100, it’s even over yet! But either way we are where we are! Which is uhhh…wait
???WHeRe THe PHuCK WE @ AGaIn???
OHHH RIGHT, Johnny’Z NeW SPoT He JuST BoUGHT FRoM BRaD PITT.
…Here we suck at describing buildings so it looks like this here…
Only the building you see before you now does indeed fact resemble the one in the above photo only there are people half or fully naked passed out on the balconys there is party trash galore, and the best thing is here we aree the morning after and people in the French Quater are walking passed this, what under a very different set of circumstances, would mayhaps actually be a crime scene! But again it’s not so it’s not!
Scene cuts inside where Seth Iser is sitting at a table, he has a coffee cup sitting on the table in front of him and a very aggravated look on his face. We hear some females giggling as Iser seems to tense up even more. We then hear a much deeper voice tell the giggling girls to cool it as we hear the sound of someone walking down stairs after a few moments the NEW EDGE WRESTLING WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION pops into view as he walks straight passed Seth almost like he wasn’t even there. He is wearing a pair of black and grey flannel PJ pants and some socks and this is the one instance where he isn’t carrying HIS NEW Championship.
He places his hand on the door to his fridge and pulls it open. He peers in almost as if he has no clue what he is looking for. He sees something that confuses him, but as he shoots his head up, he turns and sees Seth Iser. It probably would have startled him, but apparently whatever thought just shot through his mind took precedent, as he looks up directly at ISER and asks…
Johnny Stylez closes the door on the fridge and turns to ISER. The look on Iser's face was one of relief, that the NEW Champion would later discover was because of everyone that came and took something from thatg fridge over the course of this very early morning he was the only one kind enough to wear pants. SO Johnny looks around, checks the clock, walks out of the room and then directly back into the room and looks confused as all PHUCK. After a few moments of pacing he decides to stop and ask...
LA Johnny Stylez: Iser...where the phuck is Jesse?...He's an eariler bird than you I believe and well it just phucking occured to me I aint seen his bitch ass since, well I guess it was last night?
Seth Iser: He pulled a Moretti.
The answer is flat and to the point as he leans back looking a little...moody. He rubs his temple in some agitation. He very much looks like the man who just wants a cup of coffee to turn his brain on fully.
Seth Iser: He may or may not be enjoying his best life with two adult entertainers inside...to use your word, a phucking cop car.
Johnny sighs deeply and lowers his head, after clearly not hearing the answer he was hoping for, Johnny walks over to a wall and reaches for something that isn't there. Iser looks at Johnny like he's crazy as Johnny sneers. He begins opening cabinets and then the pantry. He emerges with a bag of coffee in his hand as he pauses trying to get the synapses in his brain firing.
LA Johnny STylez: So you got nothin! GREATTTT! How does such a wonderful evening GO TO SHIT SO FAST...Wait a second!
Johnny then walks back over to the fridge and opens it. Suddenly his arrogant smirk creeps back across his face as he closes the fridge door and Iser's eyes widen when he notices Johnny is holding his now freezing cold coffee pot.
LA Johnny Stylez: Look it is way too early and Im pretty sure Im entirely too hungover for witty banter...Guess I should call and see if the 50's ever caught up with his dumb ass but I dont think that's it, cause it's Jesse he's got enough money to bail himself out and even if he didnt I have to assume he would have called me! There is no way this is going to lead to anything good! May be a long shot but did he say anything to you in English that might help us here?
Rather then answer that verbally, Seth is already calling Jesse on his phone and put it on speaker so Johnny can hear it. It immediately goes to the answering machine and Seth's eyes narrow.
Seth Iser: Mother...fucker.
He sneers at the phone for a moment before glancing at Johnny to finally answer his question.
Seth Iser: He spoke more with his fists then with English last night. Maybe I'll call the damn PR team or NEW lawyer. They'd know if they got a report if he got arrested or not. That shit circulates fast that they'd know immediately.
LA Johnny Stylez now pacing back and fourth trying to force his brain to fart out something anything that could help.
LA Johnny Stylez: MOTHER PHUCKER I am so hung over I can't remember shit...Guess that's what I get for taking all that got damn MoLLyWHoP!
Seth Iser: Mollywhop? I know molly is ecstasy but the fuck?
Johnny's evil grin grows wider as he looks at Iser while his explanation takes us back to last night in his office before HE, Iser, and JEsse joined the party. Wwe see Johnny drop a capsuel of a snow white powdery substance into both champagne flutes and walk over to Jesse and Iser. We see Jesse grab Iser’s flute and turn it upside down…The camera shows us Johnny’s reaction and his eyes widen and his jaw almost drops, but it was too late what was done was done and all in the name of fun…But Johnny aint really having fun presently
LA Johnny Stylez: See being in the porn biz means you meet a lot of cool muddah phuckers who can do some even more cool shit, and well Mollywhop is a lil thing me and some chemist nerds have been working on, and well last night I may have slipped Jesse some...Or a lot but it wasn't supposed to be that much but I forgot you like to be bored and so Jesse downed all of yourz too...And well it was supposed to make sure he had a good time, and as far as I know he did, but well he isn't here and we can't find him cause I tried to other girls numbers too...WHich means we are out of options, and IM gunna have to call Chris and I really don't wanna call Chris he will tell Jesse's MOM...and she is gunna be 20 different kinds of pissed at me..AND BELIEVE ME ISER THAT IS NOT A GOOD THING! QUICK SAY SOMETHING RATIONAL BEFORE MY HEAD EXPLODEZ!!!
You can see an actual face palm from Iser as he's shaking his head in it.
Seth Iser: I thought the moonshiners back home were skits...
Another sigh as he just glances at Johnny's direction with a scowl.
Seth Iser: Well, do you know how long it lasts? If you have any idea at all and he starts coming down, he'll presumably be heading this way as his brain rationalizes shit a little.
LA Johnny Stylez: OK look, I’m probably just freakin the phuck out. I’ll answers you have in just a minute, I just need to call and finagle the answers from Chris…I mean it’s CHRIS STYLES we are talking about here! Getting information from him is almost easier than beating the piss out of Hunter! WE GOT THIS!!!
Seth Iser: Um this is your Mess JOHNNY BOY! And I’m not fool enough to believe that is one of the main reason you convinced Jesse to break out his check book to bring me in. And while we are in New Orleans this isn’t IGNITE which means I’m not on the clock…But really all the LUCK in the world dealing with that mess…And yeah you don’t want MAMA Styles mad at you!
LA Johnny Stylez: Ya know Seth after you leave this BiZ in the rearview for good you should really think about a career in motivational speaking! OK I’m gunna go do this…If you need some coffee I fond the coffee pot by the way!
Johnny grabs his phone out of his pocket and scrolls down to Chris name. He takes a deepen breathe and presses send…
Jesse will gladly tell yall about the rest.
…LiL WHiLE LaTeR
We find ourselves directly outside the Smoothie King center where IGNITE will take place live 24 hrs from now. We see the NEW World Champion sitting in a large black leather recliner directly in front of the arena. He is just laid back big chillin. The NEW Championship belt is draped over his shoulder, as he reaches for his pack of LUCKY STRIKES. He pops one in his mouth and sparks that bad boy up. He exhales the smoke as he watches the people on the street walk by trying to figure out what the hell is loon is doing here in the middle of the day chilling like this was his got damn living room. He just arrogantly smirks at them, even poses for a few pictures. He then turns to the camera and removes his white sunglasses. He takes a drag and flicks the cigarette away and then begins to do what he does oHHHH sooooo MuCH BeTTeR THAN YOU!!!
LA Johnny Stylez: SO HeRe We ARE AGAIN, EH? ANd to make matters even better here we are
!!!!RiGHT iN Me OwN BACKYARD!!!!
THE ONLY GOT DAMN PLACE IN THE WORLD WHERE THE RASSLIN FANZ AINT PRACTICALLY BRAIN DEAD!!!
But since we are on the subject of phuckin BRAIN DEAD, this week The Styles Mafia rides once again after pretty much every single one of you said it would never happen again…Yet HeRe WE ARE getting ready to ride right over those two broken DILDOS Roger Wright and Valora Salinas, while also hopefully
!!!!!F’N TRaMPLiNG!!!!
THEiR GaY LiL UPRiSiNG IN THE PROCCESS!!!
Cause see here’s the thing D-BaGZ, the very topic of debate BeTWiXT the both of yas is probably THE MOST PaINFuLLy MOOT point in all of New Edge Wrestling presently! I mean sure silently talk it over amongst yourselves or fight it out it won’t make any got damn difference kiddos…ANd would either of you like to know why?...OF COURSE YOU DO! So here ya go asshats…
!!!!SPoiLeR A.L.E.R.T TaLLyWHaCKERZ.!!!!!
NEW EDGE ALREADY HAS IT’S F’N LEADERZ!!!!
Which then of course brings us directly to
!!!!!SPoiLeR ALeRT pt II!!!!
….AND IT AINT EITHER OF YOU TWO BUTT PUPPETZ!!!
As of this very moment the only qualifications either of you have demonstrated to prove you are even qualified for such a post is the simple fact that the New Edge fans recgonize your faces the most, outside of that MOTHER FUCKERZ you two have done nothing save demonstrate that neither phucking one of you is qualified to lead a kindergarten class to PHUCKING RECESS, NeVeRF’NMIND being the locker room leader that once again NEW EDGE WRESTLING
!!!!DoNT & WoNT NeeD!!!!
AnyTiMe iN THe NeaR and CLeaR FuTuRE, K???
Actions speak much louder than words so how many PUBLIC BEATDOWNZ is it going to take before you two moronz let that shit actually sink in? Now hold up there LiL DoGGiEZ cause don’t mistake me here! Let me be clear, cause Jesse and I really do draw a great deal of enjoyment every time we are presented with an opportunity to BEAT THE GOT DAMN BREAKZ off of both of you just as much if not
!!!!M.O.R.E.!!!!
AS WE DO MAKING COMPLETE AND UTTER ASSES OF YOU BOTH!
But seriously CoMe on YALL, GeT YoUR GoT DaMN SHIT TOGETHER! Cause lissen up dildos, cause I’ll be a lil outta pocket and break char for a sec here and actually be “FAIR” and we can take a few moments and just for fun say New Edge was in the market for a leader, K? But just don’t lose sight of the fact that this is purely hypothetical cause YEAH RIGHT! SO again…JuSt FoR FUN let’s say New Edge did need a leader…Now please explain to both us what in the unholy hell makes either of you two
???F’N DiP SHITZ???
BeLieVe IT WOULD Be EiTHeR oNe of you???
HA…PLEASE, I’m the one with the jokes (well the only one who’s are funny anyway)! We will go ahead and start with the painfully obvious and begin with Roger! Cause if you can’t tell by the look on my face I am desperately trying to keep myself from bursting into uncontrolable
!!!!F’N LAUGHTeR!!!!
CaUse RoG, BuDDY YOU ARE STRUGGLING TO NAVIGATE YOUR OWN GOT DAMN COURSE!!!
Yeah sure your name may very well still be Roger, but not a thing you have said nor a single action you have taken since you stumbled back into this company has been anywhere in the neighborhood of
!!!!RiGHT…RiGHT???
WeLL SaVe LoSe 2 Me, CAUSE CLEARLY THAT WAS THE RIGHT F’N CALL YEAH???
But geting back to my point, Roger if you can’t lead your outdated pussy ass to the pay window then how could you expect anyone with a lick of a sense follow your DUMB ASS ANYWHERE? And that is me even taking into account the fact that most people, WRESTLING FANS ESPECIALLY, as a collective are a bunch of mouth breathing fuggin MORONZ! So Rodg, buddy pal…Maybe it’s time to shift your focus a cunt hair or two huh? Maybe it’s time to turn your focus to goals that are ya know somewhere in the realm of
~$~ ReaLiSTiK ~$~
FoR INSTaNCE, THe Bu$iNeSS iS in SeRyOuS NeeD oF a BUTLER!!!
Way more than New Edge needs a leader anyway! But look bruh honestly when it comes to the debate between you and CUNTZILLA I am actually pulling for you man! Cause for real once upon a time my favorite thing about SMASHING you was that it once upon a time wasn’t something everyone and their MAMA COULD DO! But uhhh these days…Well do I even have to bring up the steadily increasing pile of blunderz, missteps, and not to mention all the other OuT~n~OuT
!!!!F’N FAILUREZ!!!!
CaUse ReMeMBeR IT’S ME…I GoT ZeRO PROBLEM BRINGING THAT SHIT UP!!!
But really if this situation didn’t require me to do so, I promise I wouldn’t because your recent run of bad luck and complete failure right now is one of the only things that one may consider a “DiSPUTe” to my reign as GREATEST CHAMPION in all of pro wrestling history. So Roger man…FiGuRe IT THE PHUCK OUT before you go biting off more than you can chew, just don’t think it will ever come at My or JESSE’s EXPENSE! Cause we’re THE BUSINESS REMEMBER??? COURSE YOU DO, you’re not that big of an idiot…I hope!
Johnny briefly stops speaking to grab another cigarette out of his pack. He lights it up and takes a drag glaring down some nosey ass people walking by. He then looks back at the camera the moment they pass and smirks and then carries on.
LA Johnny Stylez: Switching gears now to the number one contender, Valora SALINAS. Look here mama, I know you got it in your head that ALL you gotta do is “GeT ALONG with RoGeR” and then bam you are just gunna magically defeat a well oiled machine like Jesse and MYSELF, which I gotta tell ya we find absolutely
!!!!!F’N HySTeRiKAL!!!!!
CaUse CLEARLY YOUR GRIP ON REALITY IS TEPID AT BEST!!!
Jesse can’t trust me? Sweetheart have you been paying attention at all? I know the struggle to remove your head from your own anal cavity had to be painful if nothing else, but then you demonstrate you learned absolutley NADA, because it’s almost as if you took two maybe three breathes of actual fresh air before you jammed your dome inside of Blair’s bottomless pit of a butthole! You and Roger have way more problems than Jesse and I do, and incase you haven’t noticed Jesse and I have never been more on the same page than we are presently! Im not worried about him phucking me over and he shouldn’t be worried about me either we are
!!!!!La FaMiLa!!!!
THOUGHT YOU BARIO BITCHEZ WERE SUPPOSED TO UNDERSTAND THAT KINDA SHIT??
But then again this is YOU we are talking about here, so I guess I can’t say IM really shocked! But don’t worry TWAT you will get your DAMN DOSE of reality force fed to you, just like we did to your little “protege” who is just as if not more dim than you are! But really Val again all anyone needs to know as far as you being
!!!!UnF’NFIT!!!!
TO BE NEW’S LEADER IS LOOK AT YOUR ACTIONZ!!!
Cause you talk a big game sure, but the only time we have ever climbed inside a ring to face one another I proved that very fact…But talk is CHEAP MAMA and that’s the reason everyone buys it…Its why I consider most wrestling fans to be MORONZ who crash landed here from the PLANET DUMB ASS! Let’s take your protege for example…Now last IGNITE she was on the recieving end of the most important BEATDOWN she has ever had in her life! I mean how often is it that two of the greatest stars in the business take time out of our busy schedule to throw her a beatdown she had coming sooner or later? And she pops right back up cause we didn’t really abuse her all that badly because she can’t deliever our message with her got damn
!!!! JaW WiReD SHuT ?
NoW CaN SHe?
But she pops up cuts this long stupid promo and mentions nothing of it…Uhhh excuse me but
?WHAT?
EITHER SHE’Z F’N STUPID OR YOU DIDN’T HAVE THE HEART TO TELL HER!!!
Either PHUCKIN WAY sunshine, you following Blair like a lost puppy may be reasons
~$~ 1 2 & 3 ~$~
WHy YoU AINT CuT OuT TO LEAD SHIT!!!
The poor simple minded twat you are training is all the proof anyone needs to know they shouldn’t follow you anywhere, because the only direction you are headed my dear is FULL SPEED AHEAD INTO A PHUCKING BRICK WALL!!! Cause look if you didn’t tell her who jumped her from behind and robbed her of her conciousness I can’t say I blame you, but I still have to wonder why? How long can her ignorance remain bliss?...Or even better CUNT
???HoW LoNG CaN YoURZ???
…CauSe UHHH YoU DoNT ACTuaLLy THiNK YoU’Re GuNNA BEAT ME DO YA???
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHA
….No seriously ya dumb cunt quit playin!
Join us back over here in reality, where its gunna wind up just like I told ya a few weeks ago. WHen you came back outta no where and won the NEW RUMBLE, you didn’t actually win anything unless you count the opportunity to be the first person I utterly DESTROY in my pursuit to become greatest NEW CHAMPION OF ALL TIME! So my dear…TRASH TALK being put back InSiDE, you have to know the only thing your silly ass can hope for at this point is that I actually leave you with your worthless phucking life between now and TeNSiOn and TeXaS…But hey look heree MaMa since you wanna be just like your girl BLAIR so bad, perhaps I’ll toss you the same kind WHOOPIN I tossed her a few weeks ago…Only this time it will end the same way that one did, only this time I’ll be sure to it I kick you so hard in the head the result will be EVEN MORE BRAIN DAMAGE than BeeBz got…Ya know right after I make your simple ass
!!!!SoaK!!!!
!!!!SoMe!!!
!!!!!!UP!!!!!
…GooD THiNG YoU’VE FoUND ReLiGiON CAUSE YOUR GUNNA NEED GODZ HELP BY THE TIME WE THROUGH!!!!
Now if you’ll excuse me I have uhhh…
Suddenly Johnny’s phone starts going off. He checks it and his eyes almost bulge out of his skull as he hits the shady button and ignores the call. He goes to say something else but then it starts ringing off the hook again. This time we get a look at his screen and we see a pic of Jesse’s mother. Johnny looks up at the camera with a look of fear we have never seen in his eyes before…But if any of you are wondering what the price of a GREAT TIME is…Well when you see him at IGNITE Johnny will more than likely be able to tell you, cause right now he’s in BIG BIG PHUCKING TROUBLE…At least more than any slapass on the NEW roster can or will cause him!
SO Johnny takes a deep breathe and stands up and walks away as he answers the phone and all we can hear is Johnny saying "SEE WHAT HAD HAPPENED WAS"...BUt she aint havin that shit all we are able to hear at this point is yelling and cursing, so enjoy your lil laugh while ya can, because the good times for the Valora’s and Roger’s of the world is coming to a screeching and abrupt phucking halt….You asshats make sure you remember that, just like you do at the end of everyone of these where we tell ya
…It’s BeeN YoUR PLea$uRE!!!
4:19
GoT
-A-
??MiNuTe??
Female Voice: CHRISTOPHER Ulyessus STYLES!!!
The screaming is so loud it pierces the forcefield his earbuds placed around him being able to hear aynything. It actually kinda startled him, as he places the bench back on the press and sits up. He grabs a towel as he rolls his eyes visibly aggravated, as he shakes his head while calling out…while the phone is still ringing…Well it stops, but then it starts again.
Chris Styles: WHAT?...I TOLD YOU I AM WORKING OUT MOM! AND YOU KNOW HOW I GET WHEN IM IN THE ZONE!
MaMa Styless: ANSWER YOUR DAMN PHONE BOY! It’s been ringing off the damn hook for half an hour!
Chris’s eyes then begin to shoot around the room as he can’t seem to recall where he left his phone. Eventually he spots it on the small table he has next to his beanbag chair, and several bags of Cheetohs…Puffs and crunchy cause life is all about options! He walks over grabbing it, taking a moment to glance at it he rolls his eyes when he sees the name above the face of the man calling…And you would too probably when you found yourself glaring at the arrogant smirk of THe New Edge Wrestling HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION, LA Johnny Stylez. You can see Chris debating whether or not to answer, but this is the third time he has called in a row, so despite every voice in his head begging him not to do it…He does it anyway?
Chris Styles: NO JOHNNY! I LIKE WRESTLING IN JEAN SHORTS, IT’S COMFORTABLE, CASUAL, AND CHiCKS DIG IT! You might think they don’t…BUT BELIEVE ME BUDDY THEYYYYY DO!...SO stop fucking bugging me about it, or for real I’ll tell MoM…and you have to ask yourself if her good graces are something you want to be out of! Which we both know you don’t!
LA Johnny Stylez: CHRIS…CHRIS LISTEN TO ME MAN, I’M NOT TRYING TO BE A DICK HERE, BUT RIGHT NOW I REALLY NEED YOU TO SHUT THE PHUCK UP, cause uhh well…WHen is like, ya know the last time you uhhhh
?HeaRD FRoM YoUR BRuDDaH?
…AsKiNG FOR a FRiEND!?!
So come on SHoRT STaCK…out with it already! We’Re BuRNiN PHuCkIN DayLyGHT OvA HeReEeE!!!!
Chris Styles: Wait what?...What the hell happened to my brother? Johnny I swear to GOD if something happen to my brother on your watch you might as well find a nice cold place to commit suicide because Mom and eveyrone else she is related to will murder you, and probably do it slow!
LA Johnny Stylez: Chris I need you to listen to me…First of all, nothing happened to Jesse…As far as I know…We just kinda ya know…Can’t find him?!? So if you’ve talked to him quit being a dinkus and phucking tell me, and I swear if you tell your Mother about any of this Ill do to every pair of your jean shorts you buy for the rest of your life what I did to Adrien Specter’s mask!
Chris Styles: DUDE NOT COOL YOU DON’T THREATEN TO PEE SOMEONE ELSE’S PANTS!
LA Johnny Stylez: You ever known me to make an IDLE THREAT?
Chris Styles: OK FINE! BUT HE BETTER BE OK! Cause lord knows you can’t run NEW, HA…That would be a total disaster…
LA Johnny Stylez: CHRIS FOR PHUCKS SAKE…YOUR BROTHER…HAVE YOU SPOKEN TO HIM?
Chris Styles: Well that’s kind of a tricky question see, cause he texted me a bunch of shit eariler…SOme of it made sense, some of it wasn’t even English I figured you took his phone and started being an asshole…
LA Johnny Stylez: And how long ago was this?
Chris Styles: Um around three a.m. this morning!
LA Johnny Stylez: PHUCK!...Well I mean that kinda helps…But really doesn’t tell me shit so PHUCK!!!
Chris Styles: JOHNNY HOW ABOUT YOU TELL ME HOW IN THE HELL YOU LOSE ONE OF THE MOST POWERFUL MEN IN THE WRESTLING BUSINESS LIKE HE WAS ONE OF YOUR BAGS OF CHEEBA?
LA Johnny Stylez: I don’t lose them I misplace them, ya phuckin TaLLyWHaCKeR! Atlantis is LOST…Hunter Valentyne’s memory, dignity, and appeal are LOST! Do you see the difference?
Chris Styles: My question still stands!
LA Johnny Stylez:...K well
!!!!!See WHaT HAD HaPPeNeD WaS!!!!
…AW PHUCK, HOLD ON CHRIS, WELL THIS ISN’T PHUCKING GOOD..HEY ISER THE GOT DAMN COPS ARE HERE!!!
Chris Styles: THE COPS?...JOHNNY WHAT THE FUCK MAN?...WHAT’S GOING ON?...JOHNNY JOHNNY FUCKING TALK TO ME!!!
Chris then shuts up to see if maybe Johnny was talking and he was just freaking out too loud to hear it. But the he doesn’t hear his cousins’s soothing and intoxicating voice…INstead all he hears on the other end is…
Voice: JOHNNY STYLEZ AND SETH ISER YOU ARE BOTH UNDER ARREST!!!
!!!!HoLD Up!!!!
…We GoTTa BACK THiS SHiT WAYYYYYY UP!!!
Cause see…WHAT HAD HaPPeNeD WAS!!!
…A FeW WeeX AGo…
Scene then opens a few days after the second episode of IGNITE aired. Jesse going through some personal issues opted to take a quick trip to the beach to clear his head…ANd for some odd reason he decided to invite his cousin along, as well as several other various family members. Jesse is standing on the balcony of the luxury condo he rented out for the week and is grilling up some steaks. Suddenly the patio door slides open and out stumbles the New Edge Wrestling Heavyweight Champion of the World. He is visibly inebriated, as he removes a joint from behind his ear, and walks over to see how things are going on the grill. Jesse looks over his shoulder and sees who it is and rolls his eyes almost chuckling to himself at the absurdity that is LA Johnny Stylez. Johnny grabs his white rimmed sunglasses and puts them back on while running his hands through his blue hair letting it hang in his face. Johnny walks over to two large white ice chests against the wall of the balcony. Johnny opens the one on the left up and as we can now see for ourselves is filled to the tippy F’N top with nothing but BUDWEISER! Johnny pulls one out and pops the top literally three seconds before Jesse has a chance to say…
Jesse Styles: Hey Johnny grab me a….Ohhh cool THANKS MAN! Make sure you stay away from Chris with all of your nonsense he is finally doing good man, like really good and if you fuck that up, I’ll have to fuck you up…Or at the very least send you to get him out of the next MOTEL the CHeetah decides to take up as territory…And you do recall how the last three times went yes?
LA Johnny Stylez: OK, OK! I mean I wasn’t…But please don’t ever make me do that again please!
Jesse Styles: Just wanna make sure we are on the same page!...Ohhh I keep forgetting to tell you asshole, got some good news!
LA Johnny Stylez: Hunter finally learned that people who lose ALL THE TIME aren’t really remembered for anything other than being a
???F’N L.O.S.E.R.!!!!!
…Cause WOW!
Jesse Styles: Johnny STOP I said I had good news not a FUCKING MIRACLE!!!
LA Johnny Stylez: BuMMeR! K so quickly tell me the good news so I don’t have to spend my vacation thinking about that worthless shitkicker!
Jesse Styles: Well, I thought you would like to know that the next IGNITE will be at home! We’re headed to New Orleans for the next IGNITE!!!
Johnny doesn’t say anything he doesn’t have to…A goofy grin shoots from one side of his cheek to the other until it is a full blown GooFy ASS smile. You know the look kids make when someone informs them SaNTa CLaU$e comes tonight, and that’s the look on this muddah phuckerz face presently. Jesse sees this and immediately recognizes trouble, as Johnny stands up, and Jesse notices he is wearing his NEW CHampionship belt…Like he has literally the entire time they have been here! Jesse looks his cousin up and down and takes a swig of his beer, before looking directly at Johnny who was now standing and dancing in place shaking his head yes as Jesse tells him..
Jesse Styles: I don’t know what kind of scheme your brain is hatching, but the answer is NO! NO NO NO! WHatever it is your brain is devising right now I’m telling you right now I want NO PART OF IT! NO…FINAL ANSWER!!!
…GuESS HoW WeLL THaT SHiT WORKED OUT???
…CaUsE See…WHaT HaD HaPPeNeD Wa$!!!!
Well don’t worry it was never the plan to leave that one to the imagination! You can see for yourselves how it turned out…Yall watch this shit! Brace yourselves mi amigos…Cause it’s finna be
~$~ ONe oF THo$e KiNDa NiGHTZ ~$~
CaU$e ToNiGHTTTTT BoURBoN STREET GeTZ THe Bu$iNESS!!!!
And believe us when we phuckin tell ya…Bu$iNe$$ boyz and girlz is
!!!!! F’n GooD!!!!!
…ANd NOT Ju$T CaUse THiS Go RoUND THeRe IS A WHoLE LoT LeSS HuNTer VaLenTyNe!!!
But to be fair what situation isn’t phucking improved by removing his stupid ass from it? But anyway let’s get back to the shit that matters! Cause as we were trying to tell you, business has been, is, and in all likelyhood will continue to be very good for the Styles Mafia, the NEW World Champion even more so, on account of this being the first time he has come back home to New Orleans since reclaiming the NEW World Championship. And well for those of you that don’t already know…New Orleans is one of if not the only place geographically known on the entire planet where LA Johnny Stylez entrance theme isn’t met with thunderous, deafening BOOS! NoPe here at the BoTToM oF the map they for reasons unknown to anyone modern psychology would deem sane, they absolutely
!!!!!F’N LoVe HiM!!!!!!
…ALMoST aS MuCH iF NoT MoRe THaN He LoVeZ THEM!!!
WHich explains the more than warm embrace he received once he stepped foot off of Jesse’s private jet and back onto Big Easy soil…errr concrete!
Scene then suddenly switches to Jesse’s learjet docked at its terminal, and we see a very large crowd holding up signs, wearing their SOAK SOME UP shirts, there is even a group of teenagers that dyed their hair blue. Jesse is the first to emerge, and he himself receives a rather warm reaction. He takes a few steps down the stairs leading towards the ground before acting like he forgot something, as he steps back up and calls for his cousin to join him. After a few brief moments a cloud of smoke pours out of the plane like it was on fire, which was enough to send this crowd into a tizzy! Then YoURZ F’N TRuLy emerges into clear plain view of everyone present, and the crowd comes unglued.
THe PaRaGoNa oF AMeRiKaNa steps out wearing a pair of black cargo shorts, with a shiney silver chain running from his back pocket to his front belt loop. He is wearing a brand new New Edge t-shirt that has the simple phrase
???VaLoRa WHO???
Which WiLL Mo$T LiKeLy OUTSELL THOSE BIA NOBODY SHIRTS BY A WIDE MARGIN!!!
Johnny’s blue hair hangs over the thick rims of his white Rayban sunglasses, and as always plastered across his face is the most arrogant smirk you’ve ever seen in your life. Only somethings missing…His enemble is just like all his others, but there is something not right about this. Johnny goes to join Jesse in making his way off of the plane, but then stops and snaps his fingers and looks out at the crowd with a mischevious grin as he shrugs his shoulders and even lightly slaps himself on the forehead as he looks out at the crowd and says…
!!!!“I ALMo$T F’N FoRGoT”!!!!
…EVeNTHoUGH WE ALL KNOW THaT SHiT AInT TRUE!!!
Johnny then turns around and reaches back into the jet and when he turns back around it’s suddenly much brighter as he holds his NEW World Heavyweight Championship belt proudly above his head as the fans erupt into a frenzy. THe center plate glimmers and gleams in the sunlight of this utterly FLAWLESS New Orleans afternoon! Jesse has reached the bottom and is looking up at his cousin and he rolls his eyes and laughs to himself as Johnny eventually joins him at the bottom. THey go to leave but Johnny motions for his cousin to stop, as he turns around and heads straight for the crowd. It doesn’t take him long until he finds himself directly in the center of this large unruly mob, as he for once takes some of his own advice and SOAKS it all UP! THe sheer significance of the moment may never be lost on the man who presently proudly lays claim to the top prize
!!!!IN THE ENTIRE F’N GAME!!!!
AND SiDEZ HE LITERALLY NEVER GETS CHEERED, SO PHUCK YOU…LeT HiM HaVe THIS!
ANd after a few moments of Johnny enjoying some well earned adulation, he makes his way from out of the crowd and joins his cousin in the limo that is going to take them to their destination because now with this shit out of the way it was time to get back to it because there was absolutely BUSINESS that needed tending to and all kinds of phuckin trouble to get into, but don’t worry you’ll see!
….A FeW DaZe LaTeR!!!
Scene opens up inside the recently rebuilt and remodeled gentlemen’s club at the very front of Bourbon Street known as OUTLAWZ, which up until yesterday was the one and only strip club on the most sinful street in these here UNITED STATES that regularly featured the biggest stars ADULT ENTERTAINMENT HAS to offer, but more on that shit in a bit.
We start at the open entrance as we see brand new bar tops. Three elaborate stages, one is your traditional strip club stage with a pole and everything. The stage to its left has a large black mechanical bull that Johnny Stylez went to great expense to ensure everyone that lays eyes on it knows that this here mechanical bull is unlike any other on the planet…SO much so he even gave it a name, and as you can clearly see for yourselves by the sign above that reads
“THe VeRGe oF GReaTNe$$”
APTLY NaMeD AFTeR A CoUPLE oF Johnny’z PALZ…MaYBe YaLL HeaRD oF EM!!!
And the stage on the right has two large black leather recliner chairs, this stage is more so for bachelor parties and special occasions and shit. The camera conitnues to pan around the lavish and elaborate modern building. We see BRAZZERS movie posters, we see framed still photos of Johnny Stylez at various points throughout his career. THen we make it to the main bar that stretches from one side of the building to the other and has any and every kind of alcohol you could possibly desire…Let us put it to yall this way…If they aint got it
!!!!YOU DON’T F’N WANT IT!!!!
…TRuST US, WE WOULDNT LiE TO YaLL BoUT THiS SHiT, PROMISE!!!!
Above the bar is a large plexiglass black and white Jolly Roger pirate flag with the phrase
“HoNoR AMoNG$T THiEVeZ”
Written in a slight you shape underneath the jaw of the skull. Which then brings us to the staircase that brings us up to the VIP area and Johnny’s office. There are three rooms at the top of the stairs. One is the VIP or “CHAMPAGANE ROOM” that actually has a LOT of sex in it despite Chris Rock’s opinion on the matter. The second room is an elaborate meeting room where Johnny can host his business meetings and mix business with pleasure better than anyone else on the planet!
The third room which is where we presently find ourselves is Johnny’s own personal office. We see a large black marble desk that has a platinum hemp leaf installed at the center of it. It has two built in glass ash treys to his right and his left of his large black recliner. Behind is his personal trophy case which includes all the proof any of you ever need to answer the question of who the greatest star in the history of NEW EDGE WRESTLING IS, WAS, and ALWAYZ F’N WILL BE…As in this particular trophy case is every single major NEW CHAMPIONSHIP ever, as he is the only person in the company’s history to HOLD EVERY PHUCKING ONE OF THEM, and of course they are all polished and pretty. We see Johnny Stylez standing looking down at the floor of his club through his large one sided windows. For now the floor is empty but all of that will change here shortly.
Cause see this homecoming was special to the NEW CHAMPION for more than one reason. Not only is it the first time he’s been home since winning back HIS CHAMPIONSHIP belt that cements his status as the one to be officially recgonized as
~$~ BeTTeRTHaNu ~$~
…And Yes WE ARE TALKING ABOUT YOU!
But also as the front page of the New Orleans morning newspaper tells you in black bold letters apparently one of the co-founderz of the BuSiNeSS has been actually quite busy making some business moves of his own, as the camera pans around the desk until the headline can be see clear as day
“BoURBoN STReeT BaD GuY BACK AT IT”
New Orleans FaVoRiTe (BaSTaRD) Son, Corners THE MARKET ON BOURBON STREET!
As of yesterday LA Johnny Stylez entered into a partnership with fellow owners of remaining strip clubs on the most infamous sinful street in these here UNITED STATES, bringing them all underneath the OUTLAWS/BRAZZERS umbrella and now they all feature the biggest names in all of ADULT ENTERTAINMENT…and juuuusssst before Mardi Gras, so yeah like we was try’na TeLL YA
!!!!!BuSiNESS iZ GooD!!!!!
SO AT THiS PoINT iF ThiS SHiT iZ NeWZ 2 Ya, THeN YoU HaD BeTTeR ASK SOMEBODY!!!
As Johnny stands in his office looking at the floor smoking a cigarette, he slightly turns and gazes into one of the mirrors on the far right side of the wall. He then turns and gives himself a once over, making sure he looks as dapper as the chick who sold him these fancy duds said he would and well, the NEW World Heavyweight Champion and hometown hero LA Johnny Stylez could have easily been mistaken for a GQ cover model in dark aubergine cargo pants made of canvas and tucked into large black leather combat boots with the laces slightly undone, a fitted blazer that was the same color of the cargo pants only it was made from satin. The suit jacket was open and instead of a dress shirt—or any shirt for that matter—Johnny opted for a dark green sling harness made from alligator, with a strap going across his upper chest. A small emerald green magnolia made of glass, pinned to the lapel, punctuated the look…But still he noticed it was missing a lil…or BIG somethin, but no worries Ea$y FIX…
He nods to himself and flashes his arrogant smirk as he walks over to his desk and grabs his NEW World Heavyweight Championship belt that was draped over the back of his chair and he walks back in front of his desk and throws it over his shoulder and his grin turns into a smile, as he hears a knock at the door. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a pair of white sunglasses and puts them on as he says…
LA Johnny Stylez: IT’S OPEN!!!
The door swings open and in walks his fellow BuSiNESS associates, newest member former NEW World Champion Seth Iser who is dressed to the 9’s as well, who in a departure from his usual style was the flashiest of the group in a steampunk inspired Merlot tinted crushed velvet sleeveless vest with a tailcoat back, and black slacks that were tucked into maroon colored equestrian style riding boots. The vest was fastened with baroque gold hardware. He finished the look with a top hat adorned with a pair of large round goggles with dark red lenses, an antique analog clock directly above the glasses, and small gold magnolias screwed into the body of the hat on either side of the clock.
Seth walks in and immediately shakes hands with Johnny, as Johnny nods in his general direction as he then walks over to a bar at the far left side of the room and reaches down into the well and removes a bottle of DoM…He sets three champagne glasses up and goes to unwrapping and popping the cork as his cousin enters the room lookin rather dapper himself…
The newly single Captain at the helm of S.S New Edge was channeling his inner fuckboy tonight, letting it all hang out in a tight white ribbed tank that clung to his muscular frame. The tank top was tucked into a pair of cream colored high waisted cotton-satin trousers that were held up by a pair of light brown ostrich leather suspenders that were embossed with the fashion house’s signature magnolia logo. The trousers had a defined crease running down the front, and a classic break which made for a clean drape over his dress shoes: camel colored genuine ostrich leather wing-tipped oxfords. A newsboy cap, in a shade that was the color of desert sand, was shifted slightly off its axis as it sat atop Jesse’s otherwise clean shaven head.
Johnny raises his eyebrows very impressed with the selections as he went out of his way to ensure this evening was for a lack of a better term
~!$!~ P.E.R.F.E.C.T> ~!$!~
…Or AT LeaST A LoT CLaSSiER THaN Any PaRTy CeLeBraTiNG ADULT ENTERTAINEMENT HAS ANY RIGHT TO BE!!!
But all three look as razor sharp as their skills inside of the squared circle, and each of them carries themselves like a pro..SO brothers lock up your sisters, cause well it’s a FULL MOON and shit and well it is NEW ORLEANS…Get yourself a calculator if you need help doing the math! Johnny immediately notices his cousin is kinda fidgety, not quite uncomfortable but a little out of his element so to speak. SO Johnny finishes pouring the champagne in all three glasses, setting the bottle back in the ice in the well, he walks over and goes to hand the glasses to his compatriots, but Iser holds his hand up.
Seth Iser: Not for me sir, I’m afraid I don’t partake…
Jesse Styles: FUCK THAT, I’ll take his TOO!!!
Jesse’s hand immediately reaches out and grabs both glasses from Johnny and immediately throws one back. He hands the empty one to his cousin who is standing in front of him practically with his jaw on the floor. His squinted eyes and sly smile indicate he has an idea of whats going on, but some shit you just gotta let play out.
LA Johnny Stylez: Jess…amigo you OK bruddah? You look like you might spontaneously combust!
Jesse Styles: Johnny MUST YOU BE A DICK ALL THE TIME?
LA Johnny Stylez: I mean sometimes yeah, but all the time?...I mean I don’t suppose, but how about we discuss whats actually going on? Because I have quite the evening as well as the most epic morning either of you have either had lined up, and allz we gotta do is walk right out the door the both of you came in! SO if we’ve any matters that need sorting now, let’s go ahead and sort the shit cause we are
!!!!BuRNiN MooNLiGHT HeRe FeLLaZ!!!!
…ANd BeLieVe Me WHeN I TeLL Ya IT’S IN ALL oF OuR Be$T INTeReST iF We Go HEaD and GeT 2 GeTTiN, FeeL ME?
I mean I’m just sayin!
Jesse Styles: Yeah well it’s just…Just uhhh the first time I’ve done this in a very long time, and uhhh I DON’T FUCKING KNOW…Johnny where is that got damn bottle!
Johnny smiles the kind of smile that you only smile after learning you were indeed fact correct in summing up a situation. Johnny stands to the side allowing Jesse to see the quickest route to the bar behind him. Jesse then brushes past him and walks over and sets down his empty champagne flute and picks up the bottle and turns it upside down.
LA Johnny Stylez: You sure I can interest you in something Seth? Cause if booze aint your jam, please believe me when I tell ya we literally have it all. Grass, powders, pills, if I don’t got it you don’t want it!...SO what’s your pleasure?
Seth blinks quizzically for a moment, a frown coming over his face.
Seth Iser: ...I just some water.
He pauses for a moment.
Seth Iser: ...I was half expecting you to go through the seven dwarfs routine about the drugs. That was the easiest way to try to learn what someone wanted when I did'm.
LA Johnny Stylez: Fair enough! And Jess…Lissen at me bruh…Take it easy…Well take another swig…K now deep breathes and then take a moment to realize you are fixing to attend a party every porn watching assbag in America would slit each others throats to pretend…ANd you two gentlemen along with myself are the
!!!!GuE$TZ oF HoNoR!!!!
SO ReaLLy ITZ NoTHiN OuT THe F’N ORDINARY!!!!
They are pornstars…Fellaz…Which means they aren’t quite whores, but still uhhh
!!!!SaMe NeiGHBoRHooD DiFFeReNT STReeT!!!!!
SO JuST KiCK BaCK & As We SaY HeRe IN THE BiG EaZY…LeT THe GooD TiMEZ ROLL!!!
But they say it in FRENCH, but we don’t have time for all that! So Jess if you and your bottle would care to join us over here we can get this shit started because before we get in trouble I would like to say a lil somethin!
Jesse Styles: I thought you said time was an issue!
LA Johnny Stylez: Ohhhhhh, got a bottle of liquid courage now he’s got jokes! I see you Jesse Styles! But for now ZIP IT BITCH! I’ll be like Valora’s reign as NEW CHAMPION, which as history remembers only as
!!!!!BRIEF AS P.H.U.C.K.!!!!!
ONLY I’LL BE MUCH MORE MEMORABLE!!!
SO unless you two are done with all your “hilarious jokes” I’d just like to say I’m proud of us all for making it this far. New Edge is back up and running, I got the most profitable racket on Bourbon street all under my umbrella, and well gentlemen this evening is about a celebration of all that! Where we find ourselves presently in NEW EDGE the world is once again ours for the taking, and while there is still very much to do…We should still stop for a got damn second and enjoy the fruits of our success, cause the good news here GeNTZ is this is only the beginning! So HERE’S TO A NIGHT probably only Seth will remember but the rest of us
~$~ WiLL NeVeR F’N FoRGeT ~$~
…NOW LETS GO GET PHUCCCKKKEDDD ASSSS UP!!!
After you gentlemen!!!
Seth Iser: Wait that was the end of your speech?...Wow there is a first time for everything!
Jesse who at this point is starting to feel “it” bursts into laughter as Seth shoots a sly smile, while Johnny stops and even has to laugh a bit himself.
LA Johnny Stylez: Gunna be one of them kinda nights huh?...Well best get to it then! Jess you good?
Jesse Styles: Well if you’ll stand aside Cicero I’ll gladly show you how its done!
LA Johnny Stylez: Sounds like a yes to me! Seth that was funny, but may I suggest not trying anymore jokes? We don’t wanna scare the ladies K?...ALRIGHT…Put your got damn game faces on BoyZ, cause it’s GaME TIME!!!
…WeLCoMe 2 THa GooD LiFE!!!!
LiKe WE ALWAyZ Do @ THiS TIME!!!!
This very motley yet still dangerously savage crew makes their way down the stairs as “THE GOOD LIFE” by Kayne West and T-PAIN plays in the back ground. THere is a movie esq slow motion walk as the trio exit Johnny’s private office and make their way down to the floor of OUTLAWZ that has begun to fill with Johnny’s BRAZZERS girls as well as the rest of the New Orleans elite who have been invited to that lil shindig.
Johnny in the middle of course is a few steps in front of his podnuhs as he takes the final step off the staircase and is immediately met by his assistant adult film star Peyton Preselee who has taken to calling herself Ms. BeHaVe these days. She has his platinum 4:19 cigarette case that don’t hold cigarettes. He opens it up removes a prerolled blunt and pops it in his mouth. He then leans in as Behave lights it for him. He takes a long hit as his eyes dart all over the room noting everyone that was present and accounted for. He then looks her way and winks as he puts the blunt back in his mouth and takes a long hit as the volume of the song cranks up. Johnny exhales a cloud of smoke that slowly rises and vanishes into the air just like the scene we are presently watching.
As the song continues to play it was almost as if someone was watching this shit from some control booth as suddenly the party we were watching in present time begins to fast forward allowing us to only see mere moments of the EPIC…EPICCCCCC evening these super villains enjoyed.
We see Johnny standing ontop of the main bar double fisting two bottles of champagne while everyone in the room is crowded around cheering him on. We then cut to Johnny pointing to the main stage where we see adult film stars Ava Adams and former OPW announcer now just back to being regular old adult film star and manager of OUTLAWZ Mason Moore giving the performance of a lifetime that Johnny should have probably charged peope to watch. We then cut to Seth Iser kicked back enjoying a tall glass of water while surrounded by blondes, brunettes, redheads as they seemingly hang on his every word as he recounts one of his very many violent pro wrestling exploits, we see him pointing to the scars that came from it as all the ladies seem beside themselves.
Then we cut to a shot of Jesse who was at the bar enjoying a drink, but then a slow smile creeps across his face as he orders a shot…takes it, slams the glass down on the bar and then decides it is time for him to join Olivia Austin who had now taken the stage. Johnny and Iser are the first to see it as they are on opposite sides of the room. Just like yall they watched on with enthusiastic curiosity, as we all know this man…SO we all know whatever the HeLL is going on right now if anything is completely out of pocket for him…SO Johnny rushes over to Iser who looked like he was going to try and stop him and Johnny some how convinces Iser to just let it play out.
Jesse stands up on stage as Olivia shoots a nervous look at Johnny who shrugs his shoulders and Olivia then turns to Jesse, flashes a very flirty smile and then joins Jesse in the wonderful realm of IMPROVISED LIVE ENTERTAINMENT! Jesse then calls for another bottle of DOM, and then begins to what we are left to assume is dancing, but well Jesse is a middle aged white dude who as we see actually has a fair amount of rhythm for a dude with two left feet!...And as Johnny said earlier this is just where the shit starts.
Jesse keeps pounding drinks and partying. THe crowd absolutely lovs him as this is a side of Jesse, judging from the looks of everyone around is a side only Johnny has seen (who he would gladly tell you makes this one of those VERY VERY VERYVERYVERY rare occasions.) BUT IT’S AWESOME!!!
THe party rages on as does Jesse Styles we see him in the middle of two big breasted females arguing over who gets to make out with him, eventually calming them down telling them they both can…THen stopping a few moments later to explain he didn’t mean AT THE SAME TIME! We watch more of one of the wildest nights in the history of this street which is truly saying something. One of the last few shots we see is of Johnny standing on his balcony and Jesse barging into his office with lip stick all over his collar, his shirt is missing a few buttons, and he’s even missing a shoe. Johnny looks at rhe goofy wide ass smile on his face and calls to his cousin who narrows his eyes making sure he recgonized the name calling to him. He joins Johnny on the balcony and we see Johnny go to hand him his blunt as Jesse pauses looks down at it and we can almost hear the debate in his brain…ANd then Jesse reaches out and ACCEPTS. Johnny’s face come alive with excitement as Jesse takes it leans back and lets her rip…THen another then another…and then
COUGHING
And LOTS OF IT! Some of the Bourbon’s nightly walkers pass by and stop to cheer Jesse on. After a few moments of violent coughing Jesse who was leaned over shoots up with both arms raised letting everyone know HE WAS GOOD. They start cheering, and Jesse points to the prettiest girl he sees and shouts….”SHOW US YOUR TITS!” She looks up as a crowd is beginning to form underneath the private party. THe crowd cheers the girl on as she looks up at Jesse and asks…”NO BEADS?” Jesse then looks at Johnny who shrugs…JEsse then turns around and then motions for the girl to “HOLD ON…ONE SECOND.”
The NEW CHAMPION was too blasted to notice his cousin going into his office removing a platinum chain given to him by fellow New Orleans native LiL Wayne after performing at OUTLAWZ some time ago…Actually by the time Johnny notices what Jesse had done the chain was already in the girls hand and her PuPPiES were OUT FOR A WALK! The crowd roars with approval as Johnny looks at his cousin FOR ONCE CUTTING loose, and shrugs his shoulders making peace with it.
Scene then shoots to more shots, more boobs, more girls, MORE EVERYTHING. We then see ISER, and Johnny trying to keep Jesse’s crazy from pouring out on even further onto Bourbon as he had gone down and started a large flash mob doing the SUPERMAN on the street below. Well there was this one joker who tried to get all grabby on Mason Moore who was right next to Jesse. We see Iser coming out of left field to the rescue but before Iser can get within reach Jesse rares back and sends his fist flying into this butt jokers face and before you know it a WILD brawl breaks out and then there is CHAOS…
Chaos that sends almost every fist on Bourbon street flying. It isn’t long before the 50’s show up and BLUE LIGHTS ARE EVERYWHERE. THe cops get out and immediately try and deescalate the situation, and while the cops fare busy dealing with this catastrophic situation we see Jesse Styles, Mason Moore, and Oliva Austin sneak away from the fray hop into a cop car. Jesse in the driver seat, throws that bitch in reverse and then slams on the gas. HE SMASHES the fucking light pole then puts the car in drive and we hear the tires screeching as he peels out and drives off into the brisk BoURBON STREET MORNING AIR, while literally everyone stops brawling and watches.
The cops then try to scramble back to their cars to deal with this brand new situation. The last shot we see is of the New Edge Wrestling World Heavyweight Champion standing with his back against the wall directly underneath the large red OUTLAWZ LED sign smiling and shaking his head as the cops run around like a bunch of ants after their pile was stepped on.
…And then the scene fades to
…THe NeXT MoRNiNG
9:45 a.m.
…Before we go ahead and get started here yall, we need to stop and warn yall muh phuckerz K? Cause well see last night was kind of a big night for our boyz in
~$~ THe Bu$iNe$$ ~$~
…THaT Hunter VaLeNTyNe STiLL WiSHeS HE WaS CooL EnOUGH TO Be IN, BUT HE’S NOT…SO He’$ NoT!!!!
But quickly switching the subject back to things that matter, so yeah last night got a little uhhh, how the adults say
!!!!!OuT oF F’N HaND!!!!!
AND SHiT GoT LiKe THaT QuiTE QuICKeR THaN THe CyCLe BeTWeeN VaLoRA’Z MeN$TRuaL CyCLeZ!!!
It was wild, it was crazy, and honestly we aren’t even 100, it’s even over yet! But either way we are where we are! Which is uhhh…wait
???WHeRe THe PHuCK WE @ AGaIn???
OHHH RIGHT, Johnny’Z NeW SPoT He JuST BoUGHT FRoM BRaD PITT.
…Here we suck at describing buildings so it looks like this here…
Only the building you see before you now does indeed fact resemble the one in the above photo only there are people half or fully naked passed out on the balconys there is party trash galore, and the best thing is here we aree the morning after and people in the French Quater are walking passed this, what under a very different set of circumstances, would mayhaps actually be a crime scene! But again it’s not so it’s not!
Scene cuts inside where Seth Iser is sitting at a table, he has a coffee cup sitting on the table in front of him and a very aggravated look on his face. We hear some females giggling as Iser seems to tense up even more. We then hear a much deeper voice tell the giggling girls to cool it as we hear the sound of someone walking down stairs after a few moments the NEW EDGE WRESTLING WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION pops into view as he walks straight passed Seth almost like he wasn’t even there. He is wearing a pair of black and grey flannel PJ pants and some socks and this is the one instance where he isn’t carrying HIS NEW Championship.
He places his hand on the door to his fridge and pulls it open. He peers in almost as if he has no clue what he is looking for. He sees something that confuses him, but as he shoots his head up, he turns and sees Seth Iser. It probably would have startled him, but apparently whatever thought just shot through his mind took precedent, as he looks up directly at ISER and asks…
Johnny Stylez closes the door on the fridge and turns to ISER. The look on Iser's face was one of relief, that the NEW Champion would later discover was because of everyone that came and took something from thatg fridge over the course of this very early morning he was the only one kind enough to wear pants. SO Johnny looks around, checks the clock, walks out of the room and then directly back into the room and looks confused as all PHUCK. After a few moments of pacing he decides to stop and ask...
LA Johnny Stylez: Iser...where the phuck is Jesse?...He's an eariler bird than you I believe and well it just phucking occured to me I aint seen his bitch ass since, well I guess it was last night?
Seth Iser: He pulled a Moretti.
The answer is flat and to the point as he leans back looking a little...moody. He rubs his temple in some agitation. He very much looks like the man who just wants a cup of coffee to turn his brain on fully.
Seth Iser: He may or may not be enjoying his best life with two adult entertainers inside...to use your word, a phucking cop car.
Johnny sighs deeply and lowers his head, after clearly not hearing the answer he was hoping for, Johnny walks over to a wall and reaches for something that isn't there. Iser looks at Johnny like he's crazy as Johnny sneers. He begins opening cabinets and then the pantry. He emerges with a bag of coffee in his hand as he pauses trying to get the synapses in his brain firing.
LA Johnny STylez: So you got nothin! GREATTTT! How does such a wonderful evening GO TO SHIT SO FAST...Wait a second!
Johnny then walks back over to the fridge and opens it. Suddenly his arrogant smirk creeps back across his face as he closes the fridge door and Iser's eyes widen when he notices Johnny is holding his now freezing cold coffee pot.
LA Johnny Stylez: Look it is way too early and Im pretty sure Im entirely too hungover for witty banter...Guess I should call and see if the 50's ever caught up with his dumb ass but I dont think that's it, cause it's Jesse he's got enough money to bail himself out and even if he didnt I have to assume he would have called me! There is no way this is going to lead to anything good! May be a long shot but did he say anything to you in English that might help us here?
Rather then answer that verbally, Seth is already calling Jesse on his phone and put it on speaker so Johnny can hear it. It immediately goes to the answering machine and Seth's eyes narrow.
Seth Iser: Mother...fucker.
He sneers at the phone for a moment before glancing at Johnny to finally answer his question.
Seth Iser: He spoke more with his fists then with English last night. Maybe I'll call the damn PR team or NEW lawyer. They'd know if they got a report if he got arrested or not. That shit circulates fast that they'd know immediately.
LA Johnny Stylez now pacing back and fourth trying to force his brain to fart out something anything that could help.
LA Johnny Stylez: MOTHER PHUCKER I am so hung over I can't remember shit...Guess that's what I get for taking all that got damn MoLLyWHoP!
Seth Iser: Mollywhop? I know molly is ecstasy but the fuck?
Johnny's evil grin grows wider as he looks at Iser while his explanation takes us back to last night in his office before HE, Iser, and JEsse joined the party. Wwe see Johnny drop a capsuel of a snow white powdery substance into both champagne flutes and walk over to Jesse and Iser. We see Jesse grab Iser’s flute and turn it upside down…The camera shows us Johnny’s reaction and his eyes widen and his jaw almost drops, but it was too late what was done was done and all in the name of fun…But Johnny aint really having fun presently
LA Johnny Stylez: See being in the porn biz means you meet a lot of cool muddah phuckers who can do some even more cool shit, and well Mollywhop is a lil thing me and some chemist nerds have been working on, and well last night I may have slipped Jesse some...Or a lot but it wasn't supposed to be that much but I forgot you like to be bored and so Jesse downed all of yourz too...And well it was supposed to make sure he had a good time, and as far as I know he did, but well he isn't here and we can't find him cause I tried to other girls numbers too...WHich means we are out of options, and IM gunna have to call Chris and I really don't wanna call Chris he will tell Jesse's MOM...and she is gunna be 20 different kinds of pissed at me..AND BELIEVE ME ISER THAT IS NOT A GOOD THING! QUICK SAY SOMETHING RATIONAL BEFORE MY HEAD EXPLODEZ!!!
You can see an actual face palm from Iser as he's shaking his head in it.
Seth Iser: I thought the moonshiners back home were skits...
Another sigh as he just glances at Johnny's direction with a scowl.
Seth Iser: Well, do you know how long it lasts? If you have any idea at all and he starts coming down, he'll presumably be heading this way as his brain rationalizes shit a little.
LA Johnny Stylez: OK look, I’m probably just freakin the phuck out. I’ll answers you have in just a minute, I just need to call and finagle the answers from Chris…I mean it’s CHRIS STYLES we are talking about here! Getting information from him is almost easier than beating the piss out of Hunter! WE GOT THIS!!!
Seth Iser: Um this is your Mess JOHNNY BOY! And I’m not fool enough to believe that is one of the main reason you convinced Jesse to break out his check book to bring me in. And while we are in New Orleans this isn’t IGNITE which means I’m not on the clock…But really all the LUCK in the world dealing with that mess…And yeah you don’t want MAMA Styles mad at you!
LA Johnny Stylez: Ya know Seth after you leave this BiZ in the rearview for good you should really think about a career in motivational speaking! OK I’m gunna go do this…If you need some coffee I fond the coffee pot by the way!
Johnny grabs his phone out of his pocket and scrolls down to Chris name. He takes a deepen breathe and presses send…
Jesse will gladly tell yall about the rest.
…LiL WHiLE LaTeR
We find ourselves directly outside the Smoothie King center where IGNITE will take place live 24 hrs from now. We see the NEW World Champion sitting in a large black leather recliner directly in front of the arena. He is just laid back big chillin. The NEW Championship belt is draped over his shoulder, as he reaches for his pack of LUCKY STRIKES. He pops one in his mouth and sparks that bad boy up. He exhales the smoke as he watches the people on the street walk by trying to figure out what the hell is loon is doing here in the middle of the day chilling like this was his got damn living room. He just arrogantly smirks at them, even poses for a few pictures. He then turns to the camera and removes his white sunglasses. He takes a drag and flicks the cigarette away and then begins to do what he does oHHHH sooooo MuCH BeTTeR THAN YOU!!!
LA Johnny Stylez: SO HeRe We ARE AGAIN, EH? ANd to make matters even better here we are
!!!!RiGHT iN Me OwN BACKYARD!!!!
THE ONLY GOT DAMN PLACE IN THE WORLD WHERE THE RASSLIN FANZ AINT PRACTICALLY BRAIN DEAD!!!
But since we are on the subject of phuckin BRAIN DEAD, this week The Styles Mafia rides once again after pretty much every single one of you said it would never happen again…Yet HeRe WE ARE getting ready to ride right over those two broken DILDOS Roger Wright and Valora Salinas, while also hopefully
!!!!!F’N TRaMPLiNG!!!!
THEiR GaY LiL UPRiSiNG IN THE PROCCESS!!!
Cause see here’s the thing D-BaGZ, the very topic of debate BeTWiXT the both of yas is probably THE MOST PaINFuLLy MOOT point in all of New Edge Wrestling presently! I mean sure silently talk it over amongst yourselves or fight it out it won’t make any got damn difference kiddos…ANd would either of you like to know why?...OF COURSE YOU DO! So here ya go asshats…
!!!!SPoiLeR A.L.E.R.T TaLLyWHaCKERZ.!!!!!
NEW EDGE ALREADY HAS IT’S F’N LEADERZ!!!!
Which then of course brings us directly to
!!!!!SPoiLeR ALeRT pt II!!!!
….AND IT AINT EITHER OF YOU TWO BUTT PUPPETZ!!!
As of this very moment the only qualifications either of you have demonstrated to prove you are even qualified for such a post is the simple fact that the New Edge fans recgonize your faces the most, outside of that MOTHER FUCKERZ you two have done nothing save demonstrate that neither phucking one of you is qualified to lead a kindergarten class to PHUCKING RECESS, NeVeRF’NMIND being the locker room leader that once again NEW EDGE WRESTLING
!!!!DoNT & WoNT NeeD!!!!
AnyTiMe iN THe NeaR and CLeaR FuTuRE, K???
Actions speak much louder than words so how many PUBLIC BEATDOWNZ is it going to take before you two moronz let that shit actually sink in? Now hold up there LiL DoGGiEZ cause don’t mistake me here! Let me be clear, cause Jesse and I really do draw a great deal of enjoyment every time we are presented with an opportunity to BEAT THE GOT DAMN BREAKZ off of both of you just as much if not
!!!!M.O.R.E.!!!!
AS WE DO MAKING COMPLETE AND UTTER ASSES OF YOU BOTH!
But seriously CoMe on YALL, GeT YoUR GoT DaMN SHIT TOGETHER! Cause lissen up dildos, cause I’ll be a lil outta pocket and break char for a sec here and actually be “FAIR” and we can take a few moments and just for fun say New Edge was in the market for a leader, K? But just don’t lose sight of the fact that this is purely hypothetical cause YEAH RIGHT! SO again…JuSt FoR FUN let’s say New Edge did need a leader…Now please explain to both us what in the unholy hell makes either of you two
???F’N DiP SHITZ???
BeLieVe IT WOULD Be EiTHeR oNe of you???
HA…PLEASE, I’m the one with the jokes (well the only one who’s are funny anyway)! We will go ahead and start with the painfully obvious and begin with Roger! Cause if you can’t tell by the look on my face I am desperately trying to keep myself from bursting into uncontrolable
!!!!F’N LAUGHTeR!!!!
CaUse RoG, BuDDY YOU ARE STRUGGLING TO NAVIGATE YOUR OWN GOT DAMN COURSE!!!
Yeah sure your name may very well still be Roger, but not a thing you have said nor a single action you have taken since you stumbled back into this company has been anywhere in the neighborhood of
!!!!RiGHT…RiGHT???
WeLL SaVe LoSe 2 Me, CAUSE CLEARLY THAT WAS THE RIGHT F’N CALL YEAH???
But geting back to my point, Roger if you can’t lead your outdated pussy ass to the pay window then how could you expect anyone with a lick of a sense follow your DUMB ASS ANYWHERE? And that is me even taking into account the fact that most people, WRESTLING FANS ESPECIALLY, as a collective are a bunch of mouth breathing fuggin MORONZ! So Rodg, buddy pal…Maybe it’s time to shift your focus a cunt hair or two huh? Maybe it’s time to turn your focus to goals that are ya know somewhere in the realm of
~$~ ReaLiSTiK ~$~
FoR INSTaNCE, THe Bu$iNeSS iS in SeRyOuS NeeD oF a BUTLER!!!
Way more than New Edge needs a leader anyway! But look bruh honestly when it comes to the debate between you and CUNTZILLA I am actually pulling for you man! Cause for real once upon a time my favorite thing about SMASHING you was that it once upon a time wasn’t something everyone and their MAMA COULD DO! But uhhh these days…Well do I even have to bring up the steadily increasing pile of blunderz, missteps, and not to mention all the other OuT~n~OuT
!!!!F’N FAILUREZ!!!!
CaUse ReMeMBeR IT’S ME…I GoT ZeRO PROBLEM BRINGING THAT SHIT UP!!!
But really if this situation didn’t require me to do so, I promise I wouldn’t because your recent run of bad luck and complete failure right now is one of the only things that one may consider a “DiSPUTe” to my reign as GREATEST CHAMPION in all of pro wrestling history. So Roger man…FiGuRe IT THE PHUCK OUT before you go biting off more than you can chew, just don’t think it will ever come at My or JESSE’s EXPENSE! Cause we’re THE BUSINESS REMEMBER??? COURSE YOU DO, you’re not that big of an idiot…I hope!
Johnny briefly stops speaking to grab another cigarette out of his pack. He lights it up and takes a drag glaring down some nosey ass people walking by. He then looks back at the camera the moment they pass and smirks and then carries on.
LA Johnny Stylez: Switching gears now to the number one contender, Valora SALINAS. Look here mama, I know you got it in your head that ALL you gotta do is “GeT ALONG with RoGeR” and then bam you are just gunna magically defeat a well oiled machine like Jesse and MYSELF, which I gotta tell ya we find absolutely
!!!!!F’N HySTeRiKAL!!!!!
CaUse CLEARLY YOUR GRIP ON REALITY IS TEPID AT BEST!!!
Jesse can’t trust me? Sweetheart have you been paying attention at all? I know the struggle to remove your head from your own anal cavity had to be painful if nothing else, but then you demonstrate you learned absolutley NADA, because it’s almost as if you took two maybe three breathes of actual fresh air before you jammed your dome inside of Blair’s bottomless pit of a butthole! You and Roger have way more problems than Jesse and I do, and incase you haven’t noticed Jesse and I have never been more on the same page than we are presently! Im not worried about him phucking me over and he shouldn’t be worried about me either we are
!!!!!La FaMiLa!!!!
THOUGHT YOU BARIO BITCHEZ WERE SUPPOSED TO UNDERSTAND THAT KINDA SHIT??
But then again this is YOU we are talking about here, so I guess I can’t say IM really shocked! But don’t worry TWAT you will get your DAMN DOSE of reality force fed to you, just like we did to your little “protege” who is just as if not more dim than you are! But really Val again all anyone needs to know as far as you being
!!!!UnF’NFIT!!!!
TO BE NEW’S LEADER IS LOOK AT YOUR ACTIONZ!!!
Cause you talk a big game sure, but the only time we have ever climbed inside a ring to face one another I proved that very fact…But talk is CHEAP MAMA and that’s the reason everyone buys it…Its why I consider most wrestling fans to be MORONZ who crash landed here from the PLANET DUMB ASS! Let’s take your protege for example…Now last IGNITE she was on the recieving end of the most important BEATDOWN she has ever had in her life! I mean how often is it that two of the greatest stars in the business take time out of our busy schedule to throw her a beatdown she had coming sooner or later? And she pops right back up cause we didn’t really abuse her all that badly because she can’t deliever our message with her got damn
!!!! JaW WiReD SHuT ?
NoW CaN SHe?
But she pops up cuts this long stupid promo and mentions nothing of it…Uhhh excuse me but
?WHAT?
EITHER SHE’Z F’N STUPID OR YOU DIDN’T HAVE THE HEART TO TELL HER!!!
Either PHUCKIN WAY sunshine, you following Blair like a lost puppy may be reasons
~$~ 1 2 & 3 ~$~
WHy YoU AINT CuT OuT TO LEAD SHIT!!!
The poor simple minded twat you are training is all the proof anyone needs to know they shouldn’t follow you anywhere, because the only direction you are headed my dear is FULL SPEED AHEAD INTO A PHUCKING BRICK WALL!!! Cause look if you didn’t tell her who jumped her from behind and robbed her of her conciousness I can’t say I blame you, but I still have to wonder why? How long can her ignorance remain bliss?...Or even better CUNT
???HoW LoNG CaN YoURZ???
…CauSe UHHH YoU DoNT ACTuaLLy THiNK YoU’Re GuNNA BEAT ME DO YA???
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHA
….No seriously ya dumb cunt quit playin!
Join us back over here in reality, where its gunna wind up just like I told ya a few weeks ago. WHen you came back outta no where and won the NEW RUMBLE, you didn’t actually win anything unless you count the opportunity to be the first person I utterly DESTROY in my pursuit to become greatest NEW CHAMPION OF ALL TIME! So my dear…TRASH TALK being put back InSiDE, you have to know the only thing your silly ass can hope for at this point is that I actually leave you with your worthless phucking life between now and TeNSiOn and TeXaS…But hey look heree MaMa since you wanna be just like your girl BLAIR so bad, perhaps I’ll toss you the same kind WHOOPIN I tossed her a few weeks ago…Only this time it will end the same way that one did, only this time I’ll be sure to it I kick you so hard in the head the result will be EVEN MORE BRAIN DAMAGE than BeeBz got…Ya know right after I make your simple ass
!!!!SoaK!!!!
!!!!SoMe!!!
!!!!!!UP!!!!!
…GooD THiNG YoU’VE FoUND ReLiGiON CAUSE YOUR GUNNA NEED GODZ HELP BY THE TIME WE THROUGH!!!!
Now if you’ll excuse me I have uhhh…
Suddenly Johnny’s phone starts going off. He checks it and his eyes almost bulge out of his skull as he hits the shady button and ignores the call. He goes to say something else but then it starts ringing off the hook again. This time we get a look at his screen and we see a pic of Jesse’s mother. Johnny looks up at the camera with a look of fear we have never seen in his eyes before…But if any of you are wondering what the price of a GREAT TIME is…Well when you see him at IGNITE Johnny will more than likely be able to tell you, cause right now he’s in BIG BIG PHUCKING TROUBLE…At least more than any slapass on the NEW roster can or will cause him!
SO Johnny takes a deep breathe and stands up and walks away as he answers the phone and all we can hear is Johnny saying "SEE WHAT HAD HAPPENED WAS"...BUt she aint havin that shit all we are able to hear at this point is yelling and cursing, so enjoy your lil laugh while ya can, because the good times for the Valora’s and Roger’s of the world is coming to a screeching and abrupt phucking halt….You asshats make sure you remember that, just like you do at the end of everyone of these where we tell ya
…It’s BeeN YoUR PLea$uRE!!!
4:19
GoT
-A-
??MiNuTe??