Post by Jesse Styles on Mar 16, 2013 10:55:22 GMT -6
Jesse Styles: Why the hell did I let you talk me into this? Look at me in this stupid outfit I look like a damned idiot.
Ladies and gentlemen what Jesse is speaking about at this moment in time is over the outfit he has on inside his stretch black limo and he is looking directly at Susan his press director who sitting besides her is two of his assistants Andy and Greg. Now Greg hasn't been around for a little while on the scenes due to Jesse sending him off to rehab but he has returned as one of Jesse's main assistants now and yes Andy is still crying like a little bitch due to the whole Pakistan encounter a few weeks ago. The point is however that right now at this minute Jesse is sitting in his limo wearing a star trek like top with the New Edge logo on it and it's a red captains shirt. That's not all though oh no he's also wearing black Han Solo pants with the shooter type gun Han would use attacked to a belt. So right now what you are looking at is Jesse gone star trek and star wars image mixed in with the NEW logo. Interesting concept right? Well obviously Jesse doesn't think so but somehow his press director Susan who has the old fashioned star trek skirt outfit on with an NEW logo and her hair done like princess Laya talked him into well whatever this is. Andy meanwhile is dressed like Data from star trek the green uniform with a NEW logo on it as well and his face white as a ghost special effects are always fun. Then there is Greg who has on a NEW cape yes I kid you not a cape along with the white robe and pants that Luke wore in the original movie.
Susan: Jesse it's the NEW Experience get with the program sir.
Jesse Styles: Get with the program really? This might be the dumbest idea you have ever had when it comes to connecting New Edge with a new realm of fans. I mean for fuck sakes Susan I have this big match on Sunday Night against my brother in law big fatty Ryan Pugh yet am I training? NO! I am instead doing a god damned NEW convention mixed in with fucking star wars and star trek.
Andy: Hey Jesse I think it's cool and really smart of Susan to think this idea up.
Jesse Styles: Andy you will never get in her pants okay so stop kissing her ass for fuck's sake.
Andy: A MAN CAN TRY!
Jesse Styles: You are about as big of a baby as Ryan Pugh is.
Greg: Burn! Being compared to that crippled fat ass is a major burn.
Jesse really needs to find him self some smarter help huh? But, now a days with the way the world is and how uneducated people are it's just not an easy task so he makes due with the idiots he has on his staff and normally leads the way. However in truth Susan put this together months ago and got Jesse to sign off on it because well she made this big pitch and he bought into it. The only thing that he didn't realize at the time was that he would have to be there which currently has him fuming because he damn sure could think of better places to be. As Jesse cracks his limo window down around back of the Anderson Arena located in Bowling Green Ohio which is where this New Edge Sponsored convention has already begun. The fans where lined up around the entire arena in a huge circle and where ready to jam pack this four thousand seating arena. Of course most of this will just be a lot of walking around stopping by NEW merchandise booths, star trek booths, star wars booths, and of course autograph signings from some of the biggest names from the TV shows. Did Jesse bring any NEW stars to sign autographs well no this wasn't in any of there contracts to have to make an appearance to this event. So Susan went out and got the next best thing body doubles to sign autographs, hug people, and kiss babies.
Jesse Styles: This is going to be pure hell remind me again why I'm here people hate me and I hate them.
Susan: Doesn't matter you sir are still the owner and face of this company hated or not people will pay attention.
Jesse Styles: If this sucks as bad as I think it's going to suck Susan I just might make you sleep with Andy.
Susan: You can't do that!
Jesse Styles: That's like saying I can't make Ryan Pugh my bitch in the ring on Sunday but the answer to both is YES I CAN.
Andy: SCORE!
Greg: So guys are we ever going to get out of this limo and go inside or what?
Jesse glared at Greg wanting to punch him right between his eyes for pressing the issue kinda like when you see Ryan Pugh waddle down the hall in front of you it's just one of those urges where you just wanna punch the son of a bitch right between the eyes. However Jesse decided against it since Greg might be one of the smarter people on his staff as long as he is sober. Jesse glared at him now for a few more moments then nodded his head and Greg yelled at the limo driver to come open there damned door. This limo driver was a bit well special he was doing odd jobs since PCW had closed down and well Susan hired him to driver her around places since she normally wasn't welcome on Jesse's plane due to the fact Jesse didn't want any woman in an enclosed place with him anymore when he's trying to work his marriage out. For the love of god he didn't want another Aurora Deadwood situation that's for sure. But, back on topic the limo driver finally opened the door and there stood Ryan Pugh's old friend FAT TONY. He had well gained some more pounds since the closing of PCW and actually had a burrito in his hand while holding the back right limo door open for them all to get out. Jesse was last to get out and just stood over Fat Tony glaring at him. Tony just kept eating his burrito and even cracking a half smile towards Jesse.
Jesse Styles: You make me sick.
Fat Tony: What did I do?
Jesse Styles: Try talking with your mouth not full of food first moron. Secondly you're old friends with Ryan Pugh yet here you are driving us around some loyalty.
Fat Tony: Hey you listen here Jesse Susan is my employer not you so shut that trap of your's.
Jesse Styles: Wow I guess you are a lot like that buddy of your's Ryan Pugh incredibly stupid. I am Susan's employer which makes me your boss as well.
Fat Tony: OH.....Ryan wouldn't like that much but damn it I really need the money.
Jesse shook his head at the fat ass then decided to well be his evil self taking his right hand and driving it right into Fat Tony's nuts dropping Fat Tony to his knee's hacking up his burrito. Jesse then looked around and saw Susan saying NO! But, Jesse got an evil smile across his face and drove his knee right between the eyes of Fat Tony dropping him to the ground covered in Burrito cough up. The photographer that had just met Susan near the back entrance door took pictures of all of this and Susan looked really annoyed while Andy and Greg where standing behind Susan actually cheering Jesse on like a bunch of well kiss asses. Jesse walked over to Susan letting the photographer know it's all for show and well needless to say it's doubtful the photographer was buying it until Jesse had Greg reach into his star trek waist bag and hand the photographer a rolled up wad of cash. The photographer then showed Jesse on his camera that he deleted those images all except one this due to Jesse stopping the photographer and telling him let's walk and talk. So there they all went inside the arena where there where stands everywhere and the arena security quickly surrounded Jesse to keep him from being mobbed by the well fans who ether a hated him or b loved him you decide which would be more relevant in this situation.
Jesse Styles: So I'm assuming you can do photo shop right?
Photographer: Uh, yes I can sir.
Jesse Styles: Good I want you to take that last picture of me dropping that lard ass Fat Tony in the face and remove me from the picture.
Photographer: So you want it to look like he fell on his own?
Jesse Styles: No, I want you to add in a photo of Ryan Pugh doing the same type of move I did to Fat Tony there. You get where I'm going with this?
Photographer: OH and you want me to put that photo in the Cleveland magazine I work for?
Jesse Styles: Correct and I want you to title it Ryan Pugh A changed man or still a slime?
Photographer: Oh I like that will do sir.
Jesse nodded in approval while Susan looked at him like he was pure evil and Jesse smiled at her over that look for the man did enjoy those type of looks. Hell Jesse was proud of who he had become and was quite happy anytime that smart brain of his came up with a plot to fuck Ryan Pugh's world up even if it is just a small little thing. Susan had Jesse shake hands with a few of the Star Trek cast members that did get paid to show up Brent Spinner was there signing autographs aka Data, and Marina Sirtis aka Deanna Troi. Marina didn't wanna let go of Jesse's hand she kept moving her hand up his arm and back down to his hand giving him that hey baby type of look and Jesse legit rolled his eyes thinking to him self here's a fifty seven year old woman still thinking she has sex appeal and thinking she can live off the star power that has long since passed her bye. It reminded Jesse of Ryan Pugh who's last good days where behind him and the fat boy just need to wake up and realize that. Sure he might of caught Jesse of guard and choked him out from behind but again the keyword was from behind. Not a chance that will happen when he's face to face with Jesse. Let's face facts here Ryan Pugh is out of shape, half crippled, and ten years older then Jesse. While on the other side of the coin Jesse has no major injuries to speak of because he works out everyday and keeps him self in wonderful shape. So in Jesse's line of thinking this Sunday was going to be grand old time for him.
Marina: Mr.Styles it's an honor to meet you.
Jesse Styles: Yeah uh likewise Marina.
Marina: Oh you can call me Counselor Troi if it turns you on.
Jesse Styles: No thanks.
Marina: Aw, you sir are no fun.
Jesse Styles: And, you are washed up.
Marina: Excuse me? I am not washed up sir in fact you should hire me I still have great assets.
Jesse: Those so called assets sag a lot now there dear so yeah no just continue on with what you're getting paid to be doing here today.
Jesse his his clan walked away from Marina after security helped removed Marina's hand from Jesse's now wrist the bitch had almost a death grip and Jesse was wondering if he was going to have to head butt her between her eyes much like he was going to do to Ryan Pugh on Sunday. Jesse loves to head butt people it really takes them off there game and allows him to go on the strike with full force. Anyways as he and his clan of misfit staff members continued to walk Jesse noticed Mark Hammil aka Luke Skywalker fame another washed up person, then he noticed Carrie Fisher aka Princess Leia yet another perfect example of someone past there prime. It just kept reminding him of how he really needed to put his brother in law Ryan Pugh out of his damned misery this Sunday Night. Jesse didn't even stop to greet them he just kept walking towards the stage that had been set up with a movie theater type screen projector behind it. Some fans where chanting things out at him like Ryan Pugh's going to kick your ass Jesse Styles. Then there was a fan that called him a wife beater this caused Jesse to lunge at the fan out of anger but security managed to get in between him and the fan. A few members of the security team grabbed this red neck, teeth missing idiot fan by his throat literally and dragged him off. Jesse smiled a little from that knowing the security here had been beefed up and where about to give that southern ass wipe a Midwestern style ass kicking outside. Now finally walking up the steps Jesse grabbed a microphone and stood there with his press director Susan standing next to him grabbing a microphone as well. His two assistant where busy getting autographs from the few trek and star wars people that got paid to show up.
Susan: Welcome ladies and gentlemen to the NEW EXPERIENCE! Where New Edge introduces our self's to the world of Star Wars and Star Trek. We plan to take all of you fans on a new journey a journey where no fan like your self has ever truly gone before it's a place called New Edge Wrestling a multimedia giant my friends and there is even a theme park being built outside Chicago called the NEW theme park. NEW EDGE is a wrestling giant and all of you can start to tune in weekly to keep up with you're favorite wrestlers or even personalities.
Jesse looks out at the crowd some flipping him off and some actually bowing towards him like he is god which those fans did get his respect because they understood there place he even gave those select waves a nod.
The fans then let out a chant towards Susan of "SHOW US YOUR TITS!" She looked at Jesse like she didn't know what to do and he looked back at her like she was an idiot and just shook his head no. He couldn't believe she was considering this what the hell had he hired a freaking Ryan Pugh type of staff member? So instead she teased at lifting her shirt and began to tease the fans hell Jesse wouldn't doubt if a god damned Keisha song was playing her mind a singer Ryan Pugh was very fond of. He was very tempted to literally take his right boot and kick her off the stage however he restrained him self and decided to put his microphone up to his lips. Once he did that he heard all kinds of chants but before he could get a word out Susan started talking again.
Susan: Oh Jesse before you say anything let's introduce them to our NEW characters mixed in with a little star trek and star wars!
Jesse Styles: Oh boy lets.
Susan: That's uh the spirit Jesse but Anyways ladies and gentlemen allow me to introduce to the stage first PUGHBACA!!!
Remember when the doubles got mentioned well here is where they come into play. Pughbaca obviously a mixture of Ryan Pugh's fat ass and Chewbacca from Star wars came out on the stage with his arms up in the waving at the fans letting out some chewie type of roars in the process. He then walked up to Jesse and slammed his outfit covered gut into Jesse actually knocking Jesse to one knee which caused the fans to get a good laugh out of this. Jesse stood up dusted him self off and just stood there obviously ready to loose his temper but was doing his best not to do that. Pughbaca got handed the microphone from Susan and put it up to his bearded face. Jesse mouthed the words watch you're self body double or my boot will be knocking some teeth down that throat of your's. Pughbaca kind of stopped in his tracks before speaking do to what Jesse just told him then finally decided to speak.
Pughbaca: Hey fans! It's me Pughbaca a former NEW World Champion a forty year old man who dresses in these type of outfits all for you because I would do anything for you fans remember PUGH loves you baby!
Jesse Styles: Really? Pugh loves you? Really?
Pughbaca: Uh yes that's correct Jesse.
Jesse Styles: Well ladies and gentlemen let's all give a big hand for the washed up fat ass Ryan Pugh!
Pughbaca: Jesse you mean Pughbaca right?
Jesse Styles: Sure why not now go do your job out in the stands.
Pughbaca: You need to be a little nicer to me and the real Ryan Pugh sir.
Jesse Styles: Seriously?
Jesse rolled his eyes as Susan stood between them and as they mouthed back and fourth between each other out walked another double this one playing the role of Lando it was well a black double of Inkt. He was calling him self Inkto and decided for some fucking reason to come out jumping up and down like an idiot screaming I'm the real star of star wars and I've done porn lots of porn bitches. He kicked Pughbaca in his ass and told the fans how he had made Pughbaca his bitch on numerous times in the bedroom even and Susan tried to have the Inkto guy's mic cut off but Jesse was yelling back to not do what she says. Inkto and Pughbaca had a stare down and the fans started to boo not understanding why these two would be feuding that is until they all almost lost there lunches when Inkto and Pughbaca started making out.
Jesse Styles: Well hasn't this been a blast folks! Anyways real quick unlike you're Star Trek or Star Wars NEW EDGE is on every week and this Sunday Night I take on Ryan Pugh my brother in law in a submission match and trust me when I tell you that you all will see how Ryan Pugh is on his last god damned leg literally by the end of the night. I might be a bastard, I might be a lot of the stuff you people say about me but the one thing I am not is a fraud. Ryan Pugh is a fraud ladies and gentlemen because he has you thinking he's this 40 year old unstoppable giant when truth be told he has a bad heart, bad knee's and a bad heart. Now you wonder how the man can even get in the ring well I haven't had him tested for steroids or any of those human genome things since he's returned but it's for sure on my list of things to have done because again he's not who you think he is and Sunday I will prove that.
Jesse drops the microphone walking off through fans as security clears the way for him. Meanwhile Susan picks the microphone up and introduces the NEW EXPERIENCE MOVIE as the movie screen projector lowers a bit from the rafters and begins playing. Susan quickly runs off the stage catching up to Jesse who now has Andy and Greg walking beside him as well. Jesse seems to be walking rather fast in a hurry to get the hell out of well to him what was legit hell. Once they got outside we saw Fat Tony standing back up laying on the hood of the limo picking up pieces of his burrito off his suit and eating those piece that he had spit up. Jesse decides to pull him off the hood and lay him out with a HYPE KICK. Fat Tony falls to the street and rolls up with his back against a street gutter. It was kind of symbolic really because in Jesse's mind that's where by the time he was done Ryan Pugh's career was going to end up. Jesse then got the limo keys out of Tony's pocket tossing them to Greg and telling him to drive them the fuck out of this city.