Post by Deleted on Mar 16, 2013 17:01:55 GMT -6
!!!!!WHAT A SILLY B.I.T.C.H.!!!!!!
…I MeaN SeRiOu$Ly, THIS WaS ALMoST Too Ea$y!!!
Well ok, maybe if we are being honest with ourselves I think it’s ok to go ahead and just straight up say yeah this was
!!!!Too E.a.Z.y.!!!!
EvEN FOR ME!!!
I watched as Molly and her bag disappeared behind the corner as I sat there and shook my head and chuckled to myself wondering how long it was going to take her to realize her clearance and locker room key and info was missing, and to take that even a step further I wondered how long it would take her to realize I had it. And that ladies and gentlemen is why you gotta love Molly Mayhem, as a matter of fact if I had to put my finger on it, I’d say the main reason most of you do is because well Mollz lives up to the stereotype of her own hair color.
By listening to her you’d think she has learned a thing or two about a thing or two, but as she just demonstrated live and in living color she still aint half as
!!!!!S.H.A.R.P.!!!!
AS SHE THINX SHE IZ! A REOCCURING THEME OF HER AND THE COMPANY SHE KEEPZ!!!
Which doesn’t phucking shock me one got damn bit, considering that new band of asshats she has aligned herself with! I’d have to say Molly has quite a knack for being useful when she doesn’t even mean to. So here’s to ya blonde because I don’t know what I’d do without ya!
I say to myself as I toss her keys and clearance card up in the air, as I think back to a few moments ago when Molly foolishly allowed me to get her bags for her and lift the things I needed, because today was the day I sent a message to the newly crippled UNSTABLE. Because let’s be honest here for a second ladies and gentlemen with Nocturnal proving to be what I’ve always said he is, which is a no good, got damn
!!!!C.O.W.A.R.D.!!!!
RuNNiNG OuT OF NEW LiKe A WHIPPED BITCH!!!
He left the group he put together behind to clean up his mess, and believe me when I tell you that in the coming weeks there will be an enormous mess for them to clean. Because if he or they think I am still not coming to collect a debt that can only be paid in blood then they and Nocturnal are both sadly mistaken! Because it doesn't matter where that Sadistic Vaginal Maggot is these days, because he can sit back and watch from a distance and know he made the right decision to tuck tail and run outta here like the bitch he is, because I am going to do to them what I was going to do to him had he manned up and answered the challenge that he made, which in case any of you are wondering is to absolutely
!!!!!F’N DiSMaNTLe!!!!!
THeIR SoRRY ASSES!!!
Someone has to answer for the sins of the father and who better to start with than the self proclaimed "Diety of Destruction"? Diety?
!!!!!!!HA!!!!!!!
GiVE ME A GoT DAMN BREAK!!!!
This is a war Nocturnal’s coward ass started and got damnit I am going to finish it, and believe me when I tell you that this thing won’t end until I have bled each and every single one of those UnSTaBLE phuck mooks
!!!!D.R.Y.!!!!
Then Maybe Next TiMe NoXy WILL LEARN TO KEEP HIS COCKSUCKER CLOSED!!!
Because if they wonder why hell is being brought down upon them they can look to him and thank him once again for piss poor leadership! But as far as I’m concerned this thing between Iser and Myself was inevitiable anyway! Sooner or later he and I were bound to cross paths, and aside from War Games the last time I crossed that mask wearing phuck mook I almost crippled his sorry ass, so once again The PaRaGoNa of AMeRiCaNA, goes out of his way to prove that I always have been and always will be a better man than the former World Champion and leader of UnSTaBLE, because unlike his puss ass, I actually
!!!!FiNiSH WHAT I START!!!!
…And BELIEVE ME WHEN I TELL YA ISER THIS PHUCKING THING AINT OVER TILL I SAY IT IS BITCH!!!
SO I hope you’re ready phuck mook, because now the fight has been dropped on your door step and whether you are prepared or not, makes not one damn difference to me, because it’s like I said when I returned. I came back for one reason and one reason only, and that was to put down Nocturnal and make my way back to my rightful place atop New Edge Wrestling and apparently I need to go through you to do it, because while I was away you have seemed to make quite a name for yourself. Only now it’s time for you to choke down the same truth your former tag team partner recently came to the realization of and that is you could only flourish in the absence of true greatness. Sure you have gone on a rampage that has almost topped anyone you have gone on in your entire career, but that shit comes to a screeching hault because finally this week you face a man who is far worse than you in every conceivable way, only I don’t have to dress like a
!!!!DeViL WORSHIPING DRAG QUEEN!!!!
TO DO IT!!!
Because when you look at my track record and things I have done in my career. I have left nothing behind me except a bloody trail of broken bodies and shattered egos just as you have. I have ruined lives and careers, same as you. Only I have done it bigger and better than you have. So make no mistake about it, by the time this thing between you and I is settled the ONE thing that will be settled once and for all is that you before each and every single person that is involved with New Edge Wrestling in any shape, form, or capacity will know good and got damn well is that it is The DoN of DI$Re$PeCT who is, was, and always will be
!!!!THE MOST DANGEROUS MAN!!!!
IN NEW EDGE WRESTLING!!!
And you are nothing more than a false diety! Nothing more than a false god, much like the ones the Egyptians or Ancient Greeks and Romans used to worship! And that is why we are where we are here today. That is precisely why I left Inkt and Pugh to finish babysitting their retarded brothers, was because unlike the two of them I have a point to prove and I haven’t lost a step. I am returning to the top with or without them, and so far I have made definite strides towards that! But none the less today I once again do what I am best known for and that is proving my point way before you step between those ropes and our war officially begins. Today I send a message to you, whats left of your pathetic faction, and the rest of New Edge Wrestling that compared to me…Well if we are being honest here actually
!!!!YOU DON’T!!!!
F’N CoMPaRe TO ME AT ALL!!!
But the time for talking was rapidly coming to a close, because believe it or not ladies and gentlemen The DON of Di$Re$PeCT came here today to do more than just talk! Given that Ignite is only a few hours away from going live anyway as I can already see cars coming into the arena as a handful of NEW’s biggest fans arrive early to try and catch some of their favorite stars entering the building. SO today I have a little something special planned for the NEW faithful who flock to the NEW arena early every week just to catch a glimpse of their favorite stars. Today those fans are going to get more than just a glimpse. Today those fans and undoubtly everyone on the internet will get a long hard look at the immediate future of not only New Edge Wrestling, but the future of the false diety Seth Iser, and the former powerhouse faction known as UnSTaBLE. Because it’s like I have been saying since the mother phucking moment I returned a little over a month ago, the direction and course of this company was about to drastically change yet again…And it’s like I always say, you can’t make an omelet without
!!!!BReaKiN A FeW EggZ!!!!
So WiTHouT FuRTHeR AdO…LeT’s GeT THiS GoT DaMN SHOW ON THE ROAD!!!
SO I take two more hits off my joint I had been smoking on the way to the arena, it was absolutely necessary because to say the things I said to Molly on the way here there is no way I could have said them if I wasn’t in my right mind, so I had to get a little faded, which means I had to break into the good shit stash, because well drastic times called for drastic measures, and a performance I had to put on just a few moments ago called for a higher quality high, and well this Afghan Ku$H most definitely did the trick, because well I think it’s safe to say Molly bought every word that spilled from my lips, so much that she should have had a spoon with her because she ate every bit of it up!
Now don’t get me wrong people it’s not that I don’t care for Molly, because I am almost certain there is a part of me somewhere that really does, because well not that I have ever really been one to kiss and tell, but the woman’s body was built for sex, and well when you catch her in between the sheets you find out very quickly that home girl is a bonafied
!!!!PHREEQ!!!!
Plus TheReZ THE FaCT THAT I’M A BREAST MAN AND OLE GIRLZ GOT BEWBZ FOR DAYYYYZZ SON!!!
And I know there are very many of you out there who are just appalled at the fact that I actually have the nerve to use Molly in this fashion especially after what I put her through over the past year or so. But she along with everyone else should know me well enough by now that when it comes to this company and my position in it everyone and everything else
!!!!TaKeZ A F’N BACKSEAT!!!!
WHiCH IRoNiCaLLy EnOuGH IS THE LaST PLACE I Had MoLLy BENT DOWN ON ALL 4’s IF YOUR PiCKIN Up WHAT I’M LaYiN DoWn!!!
So point being it’s not so much that I did what I did today to personally attack Molly or satisfy some personal vendetta I have against her, because that couldn’t be any further for the truth. If I could ever get Molly to realize her own potential and stop giving a damn about what the fans and everyone else thinks of her I most definitely think… No I know she would deserve and earn the right to once again be at my side, as we terrorize and dominate this company the same as I always have and the same way she once did. But the first lesson she needs to learn is that what happened today wasn’t personal, it was just business. It was a means to an end, and well if I am to move forward and upward the first thing that needs to end is what remains of UnSTaBLe and the false belief that Seth Iser is NEW’s resident badass! I did what I did to Molly today because it is my duty to cleanse New Edge Wrestling of
!!!!B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.!!!!!
And I Take That JOB VERY PHUCKIN SERIOUSLY!!!
And even though she didn’t mean to, and even though when it’s all over and Seth Iser wakes up and finds himself surrounded by a medical staff whose only intention is to come up with ways to stop the bleeding he will have no one to blame except for her, hopefully in the long run she sees this for what it is. Because her foolishness today has helped bring this company one step closer to the greatness it was born to achieve, and set the record straight once and for all. But whether or not she realizes that is something I and she will have to worry about later, because what’s done is done and there is no turning back now. All I really know right now is that it’s 4:19 WhiCH MEANS it’s time FoR The PaRaGoNa of AMeRiCaNA
!!!!TO GO TO WORK!!!!!
…AnOTHER DaY ANOTHER DOLLAR, ANOTHER OPPORTUNITY TO GIVE MY FELLOW CO WORKERZ
!!!!The MOTHER PHUCKIN Bu$iNe$$!!!!!
…It’s KiNDa WHAT I DO!!!
So I opened the door to the truck and then walked around to the bed and pulled the tailgate down. Even though this was supposed to be an incognito operation I was dressed a bit on the casual side today, in a pair of blue jeans and my brand new black t-shirt that just hit NEW stands that says…Uhh…YOU’RE DUMB in white bold letters across the front. My blue hair was spiked and gelled up, and if I do say so myself I am looking rather sexy today, how Molly was able to control herself and not yank my peener out of my pants and suck it like she was trying to get the cure to cancer out of it was beyond me! But none the less as I opened the tailgate to the truck I grabbed two duffle bags. One of which contained my ring attire, and other things I would need for the show this evening, while the other contained everything I was going to need for my little visual aid this afternoon. There was only one thing I was missing and I was going to get that inside. SO I took the keys and clearance card that I swiped from The MisTRe$$ of MayHeM earlier and I placed them in the second bag and I headed for the door.
I make my way to the back door where Chase the head of NEW security is sitting at the back like he always is this time of day with his list of who to let in and who not to. He looks at me with a look of surprise because never not once in the four years New Edge Wrestling has been up and running ever see me show up to the arena on time, yet I play it off like the pro that I am, as I arrogantly smirk and make a little small talk.
NEW Head of Security Chase Anderson: Johnny Stylez?
LA Johnny Stylez: Yeah you know…LIKE THE Johnny Stylez!
Chase Anderson: Hold on there a minute buddy I’m going to have to see some ID, I don’t believe it’s really you! You have never not once shown up for work on time!
LA Johnny Stylez: Well Chase there is a first time for everything! Except for maybe Hunter Valentyne ever pinning my shoulders to the mat, because well…Let’s just be real!
Chase Anderson: HAHAHA, Well I don’t mean to pry in your business, but is there any reason you’re here early? I mean we all know you’ve got a really big match tonight. Seth Iser definitely aint no push over, the pressure isn’t getting to you is it there Johnny Boy?
LA Johnny Stylez: You’re kidding me right Chase?...Maybe I should show you my phuckin idea so you remember who the phuck you are talking to. I’m LA JOHNNY STYLEZ! Seth Iser may not be a push over I’ll give him that much, hell here lately he has proven to be a got damn monster. But I came here today to prove one simple thing and that’s that even monster’s have
!!!!!F’N NiGHTMaReZ!!!!!
And Much Like Everyone Else IN THIS GOT DAMN COMPANY I’M HIS WORST ONE!!!
And right not that it’s any of your business Chase, but tonight is not just a big night for YoURZ TRuLy, it is also a very big night for New Edge Wrestling! Let’s just say there are a few things I need to take care of before I give Seth Iser The GOT DAMN BUSINESS all over this arena! For instance you might wanna get on your walkie talkie and call in every available hand you have. Tell them to make sure their flashlights have full batteries and their pepper sprey is full because by the time I am done with this arena tonight New Edge Wrestling will once again be at WAR! SO don’t you worry about me Chase, because I can tell ya right now I aint worried about Seth Iser one got damn bit! I’m just here early because I have lots to do and very little time to do it in, so if you would kindly get the phuck out of my way, I can get back to being the best got damn wrestler on this roster, and you can get back to being a rent-a-cop…Sound like a deal?
Chase Anderson: Yeah whatever man, you don’t gotta be a dick about it!
LA Johnny Stylez: Yeah well maybe next time you’ll remember who the phuck you are talking to…I may have been gone a while but it aint been that long podnuh…Now be a sport and open the door for me!...Ohh and is Mr. Iser here by any chance?
Chase Anderson: Yeah, He, Youngblood, and Ms. Mayhem arrived half and hour ago to talk about their plans moving forward!
LA Johnny Stylez: PERFECT!
Chase Anderson: You want me to tell him you’re looking for him?
LA Johnny Stylez: Nah, he’s a big boy, and trust me when I tell ya, in a few short hours he’ll be looking for me!
Chase Anderson: OK then Mr. Stylez, good luck with your match tonight and I guess I’ll see you around.
LA Johnny Stylez: Luck? The only person who needs luck to beat Seth Iser is Roger PHUCKIN WRIGHT…But that’s an entirely different story, now step aside sir, you are standing in the way of greatness…Ohh and just one more thing will ya?
Chase Anderson: What’s that Mr. Stylez?
LA Johnny Stylez: After you’re done parking my truck, tell Jesse I need to speak with him…
Chase Anderson: But I’m not supposed to…
LA Johnny Stylez: Thanx ASSHAT…And let’s not forget what will happen to you again if I come back out here later tonight and find my truck all phucked up…You remember what happened last time don’t you?
Chase Anderson: Yeah how do you forget spending six hours in the Emergency room with both your hands super glued over your eyes?
LA Johnny Stylez: Just making sure…Keep up the good work Chase! I’ll see ya around dip shit!
After I toss Chase the keys, I make my way inside and as I hear the door shut behind me I also hear him mumble under his breathe…
Chase Anderson: Fuckin asshole!
And had I not had more important things to do, and had he been someone worth my time I would have stopped and smacked the stupid out of him, but it’s like I just got finished telling his simple ass to begin with…I had shit to do, tonight was going to be a very big night, and I was running low on time as it is. I made my way to the KILQ locker room to surprisingly find it empty. This felt very strange because usually when I walk in the door it’s Pugh and Inkt looking at me like they wanna kill me because they don’t understand the concept of making a got damn entrance…But now it’s dark, quiet, and well without those two here there is a lot less subtle homosexual things goin on. Because I don’t care what they say there is no got damn way those two haven’t
!!!!DONE IT!!!!!
AT LEAST ONCE!!!
But again another story for another time…MOLLY’s BOOBs….MOLLY’S BOOBS…OK good now I got that nasty ass mental image out of my head…Now let’s go phuck some shit up!
I walk over to the glass table and take a seat on the black leather couch in the middle of the room as I take the second duffle bag and open it up. I begin rummaging through the bag making sure everything I needed was in there, and after seeing everything was in it’s place there was only one thing I had left to do. SO I reach in my back pocket and pull out my platinum cigarette case and my cell phone. I pop the joint in my mouth and spark her up, as I search through my contacts and make a quick phone call. I take a few firm hits off the joint and lay my head back and begin blowing smoke rings as I wait for a voice to answer on the other end of the call which it does…
Voice: What do you want Johnny?
LA Johnny Stylez: Just making sure we are still on for tonight? Just making sure everything is set up, and everyone is ready…
Voice: Of course it is…Nothing has changed in the past six hours. Everything is right on schedule…They won’t know what fucking hit em man!
LA Johnny Stylez: PeRFeCT! This my friend is going to be a very epic evening, so epic they should name a sandwich after it!
Voice: Dude if you’re looking for Josh Cole I’m sure he’d be glad to make you a sandwich but from what I understand the Subway in the arena doesn’t open for another few hours so you’re just gunna have to wait like everyone else!
LA Johnny Stylez: Meh it’s ok, I don’t have the munchies just yet, but I do have that thing to take care of. Did you get that thing I asked you to get for me…
Voice: Of course I did…It’s in the janitor’s closet right in front of their locker room!
LA Johnny Stylez: MY BOY! OK one more thing…Where are Iser and the rest of UNworthy… I mean UnSTaBLE.
Voice: Um I’m not one hundred percent sure, but last I heard Molly was doing a meet and greet with some of the fans and doing an NEW podcast interview, and well Youngblood drug Iser to the gym to help him get ready for his match with Al tonight…
LA Johnny Stylez: Wonderful…Are you sure?
Voice: Like I just told you numb nuts I’m not a hundred percent sure, but that’s what I was told not too long ago. Youngblood is so pumped for this match it wouldn’t shock me if he kept Iser down at the ring going over holds and reversals until the show started! But again I wouldn’t count on it…If I were you I’d go do what you gotta do and get the hell outta there because well if they catch you…Well
LA Johnny Stylez: Well it doesn’t matter what they might do because they won’t!
Voice: Johnny…You might wanna be careful here buddy! You might not wanna piss off Iser more than he already is. I’m sure he remembers when you tried to break his legs a few months ago, and not to mention it was you and your "boys" that stole the War Games victory from him, and well you have gone out of your way to piss off every member of UnStable, and it’s not like he needs any other reason to wanna kick your ass!
LA Johnny Stylez: Please…You let me worry about Phuckin Seth Iser! The main reason I am doing this is to piss him off…But I’m not Hunter, I’m not sitting here trying to piss him off for some bullshit reason that will shock everyone. I’m trying to piss that asshat off, because that’s what the phuck I do. I want him and everyone else to see him for what he is, so by the time the match concludes and it’s me standing over his broken and bloody body they aren’t in shock! But look let me let you go because I have BuSINESS TO GIVE AND TAKE CARE OF! But I’ll catch you later for sure! Thanks for all your help homie!
Voice: No problem man, I’ll see you in about an hour…Later!
I hang up the phone and then smirk to myself, as I stand up, stretch take one last rip from my J and then put it out, as I put my sunglasses on grab the duffle bag and exit the door…
MoMeNTz LaTeR…
We see Johnny walking down the hall with his sunglasses on and his duffle bag thrown over his shoulder. He walks by a large black door that has a piece of paper with the UNSTABLE logo on it and their name written in bold below it. Johnny then turns around where there is a janitor’s closer right behind him. He turns the knob and opens it and as soon as he does all kind of shit falls onto the floor, and ontop of him. Johnny shakes his head as he looks on the ground and his look of aggravation vanishes and is quickly replaced by an evil smile, as there it was. Why this made Johnny smile so mischeviously remains to be seen but he bends over and picks up the mannequin…But not just any mannequin, the blow up mannequin Shane Sparx used to carry around and stick his wart infested peener into. He picks it up and holds it up to his face and says…
LA Johnny Stylez: HeLLo THeRe GoRGeOuS…LONG TIME NO SEE! Let’s get you dressed it’s almost FuGGiN SHOW TIME!!!
Johnny then goes to enter the UNSTABLE locker room, but finds that the door is locked. But that doesn’t stop him because all he does is unzip the bag and pulls out Molly’s keycard, slides it through and just like magic the little green light on the door flashes and we hear the lock…UNLOCK and The DON of Di$Re$PeCT is granted entry into his enemie’s domain…And for those of you keeping score at home…THIS IS WHERE THE TROUBLE BEGINS!
Johnny quickly makes his way inside looking around to make sure no one saw him enter, and as soon as he is inside he runs around the room checks the shower to make sure he was alone and had time to do what he came to do. He immediately begins searching through the bags of the members of UNSTABLE trying to find which one is Seth Iser’s.
The first bag Johnny goes through apparently belongs to the newest member of UNSTABLE…Father Nathan. Johnny recgonnizes that because he finds Father Nathan’s preist collar and cross in his bag. And even though this is definitely not the bag he was looking for he continues to dig out of curiosity. He doesn’t really find anything except for a picture of his beloved deceased wife. He takes a good look at the picture and thinks to himself…Man too bad she’s DeaD, because if she wasn’t I’d totally
!!!!PuT IT In HeR BUTT!!!!
WHY THE GOOD FATHER SAT THERE AND WATCHED!
LA Johnny Stylez: Maybe I should put this back before something…..OoOpZ….MY BAD!
Johnny then swiftly rips the picture in half and then puts it on top of Father Nathan’s shit and zips the bag back up. Johnny then moves onto the next bag, which he then finds belongs to none other than the man who faces his biggest opportunity yet in New Edge as tonight he squares off against AL Envy for the Trans Atlantic title…Johnny digs and doesn’t find anything of interest because well Youngblood is about as interesting as a reality show on Lifetime…Or that’s what he thought until he found a wad of twenty dollar bills he stuffs into his pocket, and a notebook that he opens up to find a picture he hasn’t seen in quite some time…But is now totally glad he did. Because as he opens the notebook a large blown up copy of an old naughty photo that was taken almost a year ago when the Femme Iconz Aurora Deadwood and Apathy did some naughty posing after winning the PCW Tag Team Titles…WHAT A PERV! I’d keep this but well let’s just say I don’t know where it’s been…Or on the contrary I know exactly where it’s been and that’s precisely why I aint keepin it...So
!!!!!MoViNG ON!!!!!
Ohh I KnOW WHOSE THIS BAG IS!!!
Yet despite the fact that Johnny knows this isn’t Seth Iser’s bag he searches through it anyway. He knows it’s Molly’s bag because well he already carried it today…And he must be looking for something as he throws everything out of the bag until he finds it…
LA Johnny Stylez:
!!!!!AH-HA!!!!!
MoLLy MAYHEM YoU KiNKy LiTTLe MINX! THIS THING IS FUGGIN SERIOUS!!!
Ohh yeah I’m not sure how I knew this was in here, but I could sense it…Dare I say smell it…Or maybe it was the fact that when I picked the bag up ole girl forgot to turn it off, and well when a woman’s bag is vibrating that means one of two things…Either she is a terrorist…Which even though her boobs look like two mini nuclear warheadz…She is no terrorist..SO by process of elimination we know that the only cause for a vibrating bag would be because home girl forgot to turn off
!!!!HER VIBRATOR!!!!
WHiCH WAS NOW IN THE HANDS OF A MAN WHOM IS KNOWN AROUND THE WORLD AS
~$~ THE DoN of DI$Re$PeCT ~$~
…And You Thought It Couldn’t Get ANY WORSE!!!!
But enough dicking around…There was some serious business that needed to be handled, and handled immediately. He then moves over to the final locker in the center of the room, whom by now through the process of elimination we now know belongs to none other than
!!!!The DiETy of DOUCHEBAGZ!!!!
Seth "I’M ABOUT TO GET MY FACE KICKED IN" ISER!!!
Johnny opens up the bag and immediately finds what he is looking for. As sitting there neatly on top of his wrestling gear is the one thing that symbolizes anything and everything that Seth Iser is and stands for…
!!!!HIS MASK!!!!
Now Let Me Just Go Ahead And Stop You PHUCK MOOKS RIGHT THERE!!!
I know what you’re thinking, as we have been in this situation once or twice before with The DoN of Di$ReSPeCT, and even though I do have to take a monster piss, that’s not the route we are going to go today. Because while that would most definitely be just as if not more effective as when I did it to the first masked phuck mook I went up against. We are trying to cover new ground and send an entirely different message. Today is much bigger about simply defacing this man’s pride, motivation, and passion. And even though I am not going to defecate this mask the way I am known for, I just wanted to stop and let Seth Iser know just how close he was to having his face smell like my piss …So Seth you can thank me after the doctors
!!!!ReViVe YOU LATER!!!!
…Ya KnOW IF THEY REVIVE YOUR PUNK ASS!
But none the less let’s get to the point, because while I may not be defacing your mask by committing the most horrid of vandalism known to man I will on the other hand be borrowing this symbol of you and everything you are to prove a point. To show the world and more importantly yourself what you truly are and where your place truly is when LA Johnny Stylez, The DoN of Di$Re$PeCT, is roaming the halls of New Edge Wrestling. But fear not Mr. Iser because I realize my timing for this visual aid isn’t exactly the best considering our match is in just a few short hours, and really to be honest
!!!!I’M NoT A ToTaL PRICK!!!!!
…I TooK The LiBeRTy of FiNDiNG YoU SoMeThING A LiTTle MORE SuiTaBLE FoR You To WeaR To The SLAUGHTER THIS EVENING!!!
And with that I unzip my duffle bag and reach into it and remove the first of it’s contents. I had to look far and wide to find something more fitting, something to me that will truly tell the tale of what is taking place in that ring, and who Seth Iser truly is when matched against his superior. So to replace your ring gear I simply went to a thrift store and found this!
I pull out this rather large pink dress with flowers all over it. Obviously this dress was not made for someone with the figure of a Molly Mayhem, or Sarah Twilight, but rather someone who is a little bit more Hazard’s size. So as I remove Iser’s ring attire from his bag I simply replace it with the dress that I must add is as neatly folded as Iser’s ring gear.
LA Johnny Stylez: And again I know the ring attire isn’t really the big deal, so much as your mask that is of the most importance, so I even went the extra mile and found a mask that once again suits you even better than this nickel and dime piece of shit you wear to the ring every week lookin like you robbed La Parka’s gay brother!
So I reach inside and pull out Seth’s new replacement mask, one that fits him perfectly. It may not be designed for someone to wrestle in but given the comparison it still suits Seth Iser more than that cheap shit mask he wears week in and week out. So with that Johnny removes the Hillary Clinton mask from his bag and places it inside Seth Iser’s bag and then zips it up. But before he goes he decides to leave his calling card, because I wanted to make sure Seth knew good and got damn well who did this. I didn’t want him to sit there and think Cera went out of her way to cause this kind of trouble, because as evil as Cera pretends to be, even on her best day she doesn’t compare to me in this field. So I took a few more pieces of paper out of Jake Youngblood’s WHACK it notebook, and wrote with a big black sharpie…until it read
!!!!!YoU’Ve….BeeN….P.H.U.C.K.E.D. By THE…!!!!
!!!!!J.O.H.N.N.Y.!!!!!
Only instead of writing my name on a piece of paper I took that black sharpie and wrote my name down the side of Molly’s vibrator, just for dramatic effect, and well it makes sense, since everytime she turns that thing on there is only one name on her mind to BeGiN WITH!...So having said and done all that phase one of my plan is complete…Now
…OnTo PHASE 2!!!
…A FeW MoMeNTZ LaTeR!!!!
We find ourselves looking at an overview shot of right outside the arena, where fans have already begun flocking inside to get to their seats or to get in and buy merchandise and concessions to stuff their fat faces with as they watch the greatest collection of talent the world of professional wrestling has ever seen rip each other apart all in the name of victory and supremacy.
Well that is what they would be normally doing, but much like I told you earlier this isn’t just any other day. No, No, you see I didn’t show up early to run the ring ropes, or to meditate like my rotund friend Ryan Pugh likes to do these days. No I came to draw the attention of the fans and my opponent this week. I came to make sure that each and every single person who bought a ticket to Ignite this week knew before they even made it to their seat that tonight they would be live on hand to witness one of those events that altered the course of NEW history. Because tonight a war was going to begin, and one of it’s greatest battles fought in the very same night.
Two men who are about as evenly matched as you could possibly get. Two of the most sadistic, relentless, and violent men this company and this business for that matter has ever seen are going to wage war all over this arena in what will more than likely be the most brutal and unrelenting Falls Count Anywhere Match that has ever taken place on Ignite as Seth Iser goes one on one against LA Johnny Stylez for the very first time.
Yet despite how evenly matched we may be on paper, I on the other hand have a completely different view of this situation, because while I will give the devil his due and say that Seth Iser is one very big win away from joining myself and a few others as the elite in this organization, I still believe that he pales in comparison to someone like me. Someone who knows how to truly torment an opponent. One who knows how to win the match before the bell even sounds to begin the damn thing. A man who takes his each and every opponent pay per view or not and changes their lives and careers forever.
That is who I am and that is what I have done to make me one of if not the greatest superstars to ever compete inside of an NEW ring.
SO instead of flocking to the merchandise or concession stand every single fan who enters this building begin to form a crowd at the entrance way, because mind you it’s not everyday you enter a wrestling event and one of the mother phuckers you paid to see is right there causing a scene. They see me open my duffle bag and remove a hammer and three nine inch nails and then walk over to the wall, stretch out the arms of the mannequin that is now dressed like Seth Iser, mask and all with a few slight modifications courtesy of the DoN of Di$Re$PeCT.
For instance you’ll notice that in addition to wearing a mask he the Iser Mannequin is also wearing lipstick, and I know I promised I wouldn’t vandalize the mask at all, but I have a tendency to be a bit of a fibber from time to time, and well let’s just say one of the horns is longer than the other, but I had trouble fitting it in my bag! Then there is the fact that well while my Iser Mannequin is wearing most of Iser’s ring attire I left the pants off to give the fans a better look at the real Seth Iser that they don’t see everyday. You may judge for yourselves as you may see this metaphorical or literal either way Mannequins are not built anatomically correct, this one being no different. SO I guess what I’m trying to get across is the simple fact that Seth Iser
!!!!!DoEn’T HaVe ANY BALLZ!!!!
Which Is Actually Quite Amazing FOR A DICKHEAD!!!!
And his UNSTABLE t-shirt also has a slight modification as the word STABLE has been crossed out and replaced with a much more fitting word as the t-shirt now reads
!!!!!UnWORTHY!!!!!
Because That Is Precisely What He And The Rest of ThoSE RAG TAG ASSHATS ARE IN MY NEW!!!
Yet now I’ve pointed out all the major modifications the now large crowd of wrestling fans have gathered around as they watch me take the left arm of the Iser Mannequin take one of the nails put it to it’s palm and then raise the hammer…
BAM…BAM…BAM
…And then I take the other hand
BAM….BAM….BAM
And then finally I take both the feet cross them over one another and
BAM…BAM…BAM…One MoRe TiMe FOR GooD Mea$uRe…
!!!!!!!BAM!!!!!!!
YEAH…THAT SHOULD DO IT!!!
I then turn around and face my crowd with the widest arrogant smirk I have had since I’ve been back, because believe it or not folks it is this moment right here and right now that I am most proud of. Sure I came back and along side two of the best friends I have ever had in this business took New Edge Wrestling, the phuck mook I am going to put down this evening included and imposed our will as we finally became Stable Champions. But it is in this moment where for the first time in months I finally feel like myself again, because take away all the dick and fart jokes. All the laughing and practical jokes and this is really
!!!WHO THE PHUCK I AM!!!
SO TaKe A GooD LOOK…SOAK IT IN IF YOU WILL!!!
I take a few moments and join the rest of the crowd as I admire my handy work. I even pop a cigarette in my mouth and take a few drags before I turn around and lift my megaphone to address the crowd.
LA Johnny Stylez: At this point ladies and gentlemen there is one thing and one thing only left to say, because what you see hanging behind me says everything I need it to say and more. My message to Seth Iser and the rest of those curtian jerking phuck mooks has been sent loudly and clearly, so at this point the only thing I have left to say to Seth Iser and the rest of UnWORTHY, is to take a good look because this is all there is in your immediate future. If you want my respect you're gunna have to beat it outta me which is gunna take way more than you got. So at this point jackass the only option any of you have is to get on your cocksucking knees and beg for MeRCy, but either way you should know me well enough to know that MeRCy is the one thing you aint gunna get from me, all you are going to get from me Seth Iser is the beating Nocturnal was going to get, is a beating you've had coming for quite some time now...All that lies ahead in your immediate future Seth Iser, is the real unmerciful bad ass of New Edge Wrestling forcing you to
!!!!!SoaK!!!!!
!!!!!SoMe!!!!
!!!!!!UP!!!!!!
FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME!!!!
I'll see you in a few hours phuck mook! And don't forget that even though this is definitley your first time every damn bit of it still
...Has Been YOUR PLEa$uRE!!!
And with that Johnny drops the megaphone walks up and puts his cigarette out in the eye socket of the Iser Mannequinn, as Johnny lets his actions speak for itself, just as he will later on this evening when he leaves Iser laying in a pool of his own blood. Johnny then bends over and removes one more item from his duffle bag which happens to be a shovel. He walks over to the concession stand and hides it behind the counter, which many should believe that is only the first of probably countless weapons Johnny had stashed all over the arena in preperation for the Falls Count Anywhere War that will take place on Ignite. The time for talking has been over, and it is time for this False Diety to be brought to his knees and be proven that he is nothing more than a mere mortal posing as something he is not..Just like the REST OF UNSTABLE! So having said that ladies and gentlemen prepare for this is the beginning of a night that will be filled with chaos as once again the direction of NEW history will once again be altered and the war for supremacy will spill over into the stands and all throughout the arena and after it is over...NEW will see and know for got damn sure who the most dangerous man is in New Edge Wrestling...And you can bet your last damn dollar that it aint the cock sucker who hides behind a mask. It's the man who makes people
!!!!SoaK!!!!
!!!!SoMe!!!
!!!!!UP!!!!!
FoR a LiVinG!!!
...and it's not only what he does best...It's what he does
...BETTERTHANu
4:19
GoT
-A-
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