Post by Alan Envy on Mar 22, 2013 16:30:35 GMT -6
United……
Webster’s (no I am not related) Dictionary’s defines United as formed and united of things or persons.
An United Front.
Yeah I know that is a cheesy way to start out a promo but it’s what this is all about. United…..to stop the spreading of a disease. Standing next to people who want the same thing you do. To fight for what you believe in from a group of tyrannical, selfish assholes that only care about stroking each other dicks. And you want to know why they like tosit in groups and circle jerk each other? Because they can’t get the job done by themselves.
And I know right before you say it that does that statement go for a 5 time NEW World Champion in Johnny Stylez? Well maybe or maybe not. Yet he is one of those mother fuckers that uses and abuses people to get his way. How many women fell victim to him and his tiny peener? I can’t even sit here and think of the women that fell for his bullshit. As far as Hunter Valentyne goes……….well he is a homosexual but anyways.
Inkt sat here and gave his filibuster on why DomestiK Disturbance did what they did, why these assholes are so obsessed with having gold that they don’t fucking deserve. So why are these bitches getting a title shot? Its because Johnny used his perk from winning War Games to carry Hunter Valentyne back into relevance alongside him as DomestiK Disturbance. What a fucking waste of an opportunity that is going to be.
You see here is what Johnny Stylez and Hunter Valentyne wants their opponents to do. They get an elaborate promo much like the way XXX used to do and usually sit there for hours coming up with stupid shit to rant about. They get so fucking annoying that the opponent basically tries to counter them with their own stupid shit that is less funnier or just a failed attempt to try and offend them. That is how they get wins, they get in our heads and usually with a lucky break they get one over you.
Well I hate to say this but we are preparing for this match the old fashioned way. We sit and bond, talk about what needs to be done instead of what we want to do, and what needs to be done is stop DomestiK Disturbance before these assfarts even get fucking started. To be United against the Styles Mafia and kill these mother fuckers like the way our cRu was killed. I was with my boy and his biscuit, and even though they were not in United with me, Scarlet, Ran Omega, Dixie Clement, or my bro Kronin they had the same passion, the same agenda that we shared. We were going to stop injustice and superficiality people. And we were going to do it in the only way we know how too.
8 Bit Style Bitches, cracking heads and leaving them for dead. Having a good time and drinking some fine fucking wine…..you get the picture. The picture is that the 8 Bit Mega Powers were going to do what needs to be done, and that’s end DomestiK Disturbance and prevent them from placing misery on anyone in the back or the NEW fans. Because Got Dammit will I sit through another promo from a vagina. I swear that will never happen again, and us putting these dogs to sleep will make sure that you fine people will never see that stupid shit again.
Not bad for a couple of sidekicks huh?
We had been sitting in the hotel lobby for now what seemed to be hours even though it was only about one. The alcohol was flowing and we sat there hatching out our game plan for Ignite and the Main Event for our Tag Team titles. I was having a few too many as usual, as a matter of fact the rest of the night seemed like a dreamy haze. So who better to tell you how the rest of the night went than Johnny Stylez cousin, my manager, and mongaloids Jesse’s little brother The Cheetah Chris Styles!!
So yo bitches this is how we decided to fucking roll this night man. Inkt just got done talking about how small the cocks of DomestiK Disturbance were. Actually I don’t know how accurate he really considering I have seen my cousin Johnny naked a few times, always on accident so don’t tell him that shit, and he didn’t seem too small to me. Problem was he is a 30 second man HA HA!! Bitch’s tip hits the clit and he blows his wad before one thrust. What a loser, anyways my boy Al Envy, The Show Stealer, the TA Champion, the fucking shiz himself and his partner the backdoor man o fucking war Inkt were throwing the booze down as only they could.
Inkt: So yeah bitch that’s how we are going to do it. And ou know what they will do?
Al Envy: A vagina promo again? Maybe they will call XXX up and get an idea from him. I am sure his studio is available for bullshit.
8 Bit laughed their asses off. Your main cat the Cheetah was noticing that Al Envious was getting a little tipsy, and I also noticed a group of girls that were staring at him with lunch on their minds ya dig? So it was my opportunity to get myself a little action at Al’s expense.
Chris Styles: Yo ho’s get over here!!
The girls slowly got up, three of the thick kind but with fine faces, and came over to us.
Ryan Pugh: Ok I am not doing this tonight. You three peeners have a ball, and don’t fucking lose to those dick heads on Ignite you fuckers or answer to me. As a matter of fact anything less than Johnny Stylez unconscious on a stretcher will be unacceptable to me.
Fatty started staring down Inkt.
Inkt: Don’t worry about it biscuit. Consider it done ok.
Al Envy: Yeah, when we get done with them they will be running back to their Mamma’s vaginas to do a promo that makes no sense.
Inkt started laughing as one of the girls sat next to him. Inkt ya know is one intimidating mother trucker right? As a matter of fact he intimidates your boy Chris like a mother fucker. The big titty girl with good size hips couldn’t keep her eyes off the man o war. Inkt of course starting cock teasing the bitch since he is a cock tease right?
Inkt: Honey on any other given night I would derail that shit in a heartbeat. Right now is not the good time for it.
The girl immediately placed his massive hand on her massive tit. What the fuck was he talking about anyways!! They can talk about the two boner killers in Johnny and Hunter and I would lay the Cheetah to her plains of pleasure. Suddenly my drunk as fuck buddy got up and stood on the center table. All Mel Gibson like and shit during Brave heart.
Al Envy: You know what dudes and fat girls! I am sick as hell of hearing and dealing with these assholes man! You want to know why DomestiK Disturbance was a dominant tag team! It’s because Tat n Fat and Excessive Excellence wasn’t fucking around!!! It’s easy to be a dominant tag team when you have no fucking competition right!
Inkt cheered Al as the Show Stealer and most literate drunk I have ever seenz continued his speech. God I hope this wasn’t going to be as long as Inkt’s These thick sexy ladies needed loving and I was wanting to give it to them Cheetah style. The wanted a meat lovers pizza and I had a stick of pepperoni to satisfy their appetite. I has plenty of sausage to stuff their mouths……
Al Envy: Those two want to talk about fucking sidekicks and shit, how me and you the current NEW Tag Team Champions, are just sidekicks! I don’t consider you biscuit’s sidekick at all man. You have something that mother fucking Johnny and got damn Hunter Valentyne don’t have and that’s a world title shot Actually a world title shot coming to Hunter Valentyne isn’t as realistic as Chris Styles being hired to do porn because his junk is huge!
Now your boy was taking offense to that but Al would have killed my fucking ass. So its cool. We all know how big the Cheetah is, these fat chicks were going to find out the hard way.
HA hard….I slay me. Penis joke for you unfunny mother fuckers.
Al Envy: Side kick huh!! Does a fucking sidekick hold the TA title! Is a sidekick a 2 time fucking World champion! Is a sidekick longer that his small penis ass. Oh what about this Hunter has this sidekick been fired a hundred times!! You calling me a sidekick is like calling the pot kettle fucking blue!!
What?? Its kettle black, well he was drunk so whatever.
Inkt: Preach to the choir Show Stealer!1 This sidekick is going to kick the fuck out someone for that world title and then this sidekick will be a world champion. More than what Hunter Valentyne has ever been.
Show Stealer slammed another shot back. He was really getting drink and shit now. He was about to go on his classic rant I loved so much.
Al Envy: You know what we are going to do Dougie…….we are goin to shok the world mayn. DomestiK Disturbance are unentertaining fuck farts and I will be GOT damned if they bet us foe thes blts!!!!! And how in the fck as I a sidkiyk to ROGER WRIGHT!!!!! I ownd his ass a few times and shit!!!!
He then started stumbling around. All of a sudden he tried to pull out his infamous penis but thank God Ryan Pugh stopped him.
Ryan Pugh: Got Dammit Envy keep it in your pants dude. Now is not the time to show the world your shit.
The Pughbacca gave a look at me and out of fear of him killing my skinny ass I obeyed him like a hooker does when you wave a hundred dollar bill in her face.
Ryan Pugh: You take Al back to the room, I will take Ink back. They need to get fucking focused. I have their back in this and I don’t want to have to listen to fucktard 1 and 2 about winning belts they don’t deserve.
Obeying him I dragged Al and cautiously called the three girls to follow us. I placed Al in the bed and made those bitches scream the rest of the night. I swear they had so many orgasms because of me security had to call and tell them bitches to be quiet because I was soo damn good and……….
Ok no he was full of shit.
We all know Chris Styles couldn’t please an ant so now the sober Al Envy will take over and finish this shit off. You see no one is giving us a chance this week because of the aurora of Johnny Stylez and Hunter Valentyne. You two have ran our mouths so much that people actually think that you guys are the best tag team of all time. I will sit here and question that real quick, and I bet my boy Inkt could question that as well.
Hunter Valentyne you go around backstage and talk about how I didn’t deserve any of the success I have earned. Newsflash bro you have never or will ever be a world champion while I have been twice. You called me a paper Ta champ and talked about how you were going to beat me for the belt and get back whats yours but you didn’t get the job done, and on Ignite this week you and the guy that you are a sidekick to will fail and fail epically.
It’s like I said before, Ryan Pugh and Inkt aren’t united. But they share a common goal. 8 Bit has a common goal. At the end of the night you two will be shells of your former selves lying on your backs with your small peeners stuck in the air looking up at the lights while me and Inkt celebrate a successful tag team title defense. No longer will DomestiK Disturbance be a threat because we are going to nip that shit in the fucking bud. This a new era in NEW, a United front against the nonsense that has dominated this company for so many years.
So go ahead Hunter and Johnny. Begin your elaborate promo to supposedly put us in our places. What are you guys going to do. Maybe Molly Mayhem’s vagina will be available again; oh I forgot Johnny’s tiny pecker is occupying it again. Do what you two mothers always do. Talk about the past, call us sidekicks, talk about how great you guys are even though you never defeated one respected tag team in your overrated careers. Hey how about you guys resurrect old cRu gimmicks like a zombie invasion or something.
You guys lack originality, and you guys are old news. 8 Bit is the future and United is the now. You and the Styles Mafia are going to be obsolete very soon. Hunter Valentyne will pay for his mouth he has no right to be running, and Johnny Stylez will pay for turning his back on my friends because he wants to be a leader, of course that is if he is the front of the line. If not he will take his ball and run home like he usually does. Maybe he can spend another month in got damn rehab.
The story will not have the same ending. 8 Bit will rise and topple the Disturbance. The Show will be stolen and stolen like never before. Get ready boys because you have no fucking idea what is coming for you.
Not bad for two supposed sidekicks.
It’s time for 8 Bit.
#ShowStealer
Webster’s (no I am not related) Dictionary’s defines United as formed and united of things or persons.
An United Front.
Yeah I know that is a cheesy way to start out a promo but it’s what this is all about. United…..to stop the spreading of a disease. Standing next to people who want the same thing you do. To fight for what you believe in from a group of tyrannical, selfish assholes that only care about stroking each other dicks. And you want to know why they like tosit in groups and circle jerk each other? Because they can’t get the job done by themselves.
And I know right before you say it that does that statement go for a 5 time NEW World Champion in Johnny Stylez? Well maybe or maybe not. Yet he is one of those mother fuckers that uses and abuses people to get his way. How many women fell victim to him and his tiny peener? I can’t even sit here and think of the women that fell for his bullshit. As far as Hunter Valentyne goes……….well he is a homosexual but anyways.
Inkt sat here and gave his filibuster on why DomestiK Disturbance did what they did, why these assholes are so obsessed with having gold that they don’t fucking deserve. So why are these bitches getting a title shot? Its because Johnny used his perk from winning War Games to carry Hunter Valentyne back into relevance alongside him as DomestiK Disturbance. What a fucking waste of an opportunity that is going to be.
You see here is what Johnny Stylez and Hunter Valentyne wants their opponents to do. They get an elaborate promo much like the way XXX used to do and usually sit there for hours coming up with stupid shit to rant about. They get so fucking annoying that the opponent basically tries to counter them with their own stupid shit that is less funnier or just a failed attempt to try and offend them. That is how they get wins, they get in our heads and usually with a lucky break they get one over you.
Well I hate to say this but we are preparing for this match the old fashioned way. We sit and bond, talk about what needs to be done instead of what we want to do, and what needs to be done is stop DomestiK Disturbance before these assfarts even get fucking started. To be United against the Styles Mafia and kill these mother fuckers like the way our cRu was killed. I was with my boy and his biscuit, and even though they were not in United with me, Scarlet, Ran Omega, Dixie Clement, or my bro Kronin they had the same passion, the same agenda that we shared. We were going to stop injustice and superficiality people. And we were going to do it in the only way we know how too.
8 Bit Style Bitches, cracking heads and leaving them for dead. Having a good time and drinking some fine fucking wine…..you get the picture. The picture is that the 8 Bit Mega Powers were going to do what needs to be done, and that’s end DomestiK Disturbance and prevent them from placing misery on anyone in the back or the NEW fans. Because Got Dammit will I sit through another promo from a vagina. I swear that will never happen again, and us putting these dogs to sleep will make sure that you fine people will never see that stupid shit again.
Not bad for a couple of sidekicks huh?
We had been sitting in the hotel lobby for now what seemed to be hours even though it was only about one. The alcohol was flowing and we sat there hatching out our game plan for Ignite and the Main Event for our Tag Team titles. I was having a few too many as usual, as a matter of fact the rest of the night seemed like a dreamy haze. So who better to tell you how the rest of the night went than Johnny Stylez cousin, my manager, and mongaloids Jesse’s little brother The Cheetah Chris Styles!!
So yo bitches this is how we decided to fucking roll this night man. Inkt just got done talking about how small the cocks of DomestiK Disturbance were. Actually I don’t know how accurate he really considering I have seen my cousin Johnny naked a few times, always on accident so don’t tell him that shit, and he didn’t seem too small to me. Problem was he is a 30 second man HA HA!! Bitch’s tip hits the clit and he blows his wad before one thrust. What a loser, anyways my boy Al Envy, The Show Stealer, the TA Champion, the fucking shiz himself and his partner the backdoor man o fucking war Inkt were throwing the booze down as only they could.
Inkt: So yeah bitch that’s how we are going to do it. And ou know what they will do?
Al Envy: A vagina promo again? Maybe they will call XXX up and get an idea from him. I am sure his studio is available for bullshit.
8 Bit laughed their asses off. Your main cat the Cheetah was noticing that Al Envious was getting a little tipsy, and I also noticed a group of girls that were staring at him with lunch on their minds ya dig? So it was my opportunity to get myself a little action at Al’s expense.
Chris Styles: Yo ho’s get over here!!
The girls slowly got up, three of the thick kind but with fine faces, and came over to us.
Ryan Pugh: Ok I am not doing this tonight. You three peeners have a ball, and don’t fucking lose to those dick heads on Ignite you fuckers or answer to me. As a matter of fact anything less than Johnny Stylez unconscious on a stretcher will be unacceptable to me.
Fatty started staring down Inkt.
Inkt: Don’t worry about it biscuit. Consider it done ok.
Al Envy: Yeah, when we get done with them they will be running back to their Mamma’s vaginas to do a promo that makes no sense.
Inkt started laughing as one of the girls sat next to him. Inkt ya know is one intimidating mother trucker right? As a matter of fact he intimidates your boy Chris like a mother fucker. The big titty girl with good size hips couldn’t keep her eyes off the man o war. Inkt of course starting cock teasing the bitch since he is a cock tease right?
Inkt: Honey on any other given night I would derail that shit in a heartbeat. Right now is not the good time for it.
The girl immediately placed his massive hand on her massive tit. What the fuck was he talking about anyways!! They can talk about the two boner killers in Johnny and Hunter and I would lay the Cheetah to her plains of pleasure. Suddenly my drunk as fuck buddy got up and stood on the center table. All Mel Gibson like and shit during Brave heart.
Al Envy: You know what dudes and fat girls! I am sick as hell of hearing and dealing with these assholes man! You want to know why DomestiK Disturbance was a dominant tag team! It’s because Tat n Fat and Excessive Excellence wasn’t fucking around!!! It’s easy to be a dominant tag team when you have no fucking competition right!
Inkt cheered Al as the Show Stealer and most literate drunk I have ever seenz continued his speech. God I hope this wasn’t going to be as long as Inkt’s These thick sexy ladies needed loving and I was wanting to give it to them Cheetah style. The wanted a meat lovers pizza and I had a stick of pepperoni to satisfy their appetite. I has plenty of sausage to stuff their mouths……
Al Envy: Those two want to talk about fucking sidekicks and shit, how me and you the current NEW Tag Team Champions, are just sidekicks! I don’t consider you biscuit’s sidekick at all man. You have something that mother fucking Johnny and got damn Hunter Valentyne don’t have and that’s a world title shot Actually a world title shot coming to Hunter Valentyne isn’t as realistic as Chris Styles being hired to do porn because his junk is huge!
Now your boy was taking offense to that but Al would have killed my fucking ass. So its cool. We all know how big the Cheetah is, these fat chicks were going to find out the hard way.
HA hard….I slay me. Penis joke for you unfunny mother fuckers.
Al Envy: Side kick huh!! Does a fucking sidekick hold the TA title! Is a sidekick a 2 time fucking World champion! Is a sidekick longer that his small penis ass. Oh what about this Hunter has this sidekick been fired a hundred times!! You calling me a sidekick is like calling the pot kettle fucking blue!!
What?? Its kettle black, well he was drunk so whatever.
Inkt: Preach to the choir Show Stealer!1 This sidekick is going to kick the fuck out someone for that world title and then this sidekick will be a world champion. More than what Hunter Valentyne has ever been.
Show Stealer slammed another shot back. He was really getting drink and shit now. He was about to go on his classic rant I loved so much.
Al Envy: You know what we are going to do Dougie…….we are goin to shok the world mayn. DomestiK Disturbance are unentertaining fuck farts and I will be GOT damned if they bet us foe thes blts!!!!! And how in the fck as I a sidkiyk to ROGER WRIGHT!!!!! I ownd his ass a few times and shit!!!!
He then started stumbling around. All of a sudden he tried to pull out his infamous penis but thank God Ryan Pugh stopped him.
Ryan Pugh: Got Dammit Envy keep it in your pants dude. Now is not the time to show the world your shit.
The Pughbacca gave a look at me and out of fear of him killing my skinny ass I obeyed him like a hooker does when you wave a hundred dollar bill in her face.
Ryan Pugh: You take Al back to the room, I will take Ink back. They need to get fucking focused. I have their back in this and I don’t want to have to listen to fucktard 1 and 2 about winning belts they don’t deserve.
Obeying him I dragged Al and cautiously called the three girls to follow us. I placed Al in the bed and made those bitches scream the rest of the night. I swear they had so many orgasms because of me security had to call and tell them bitches to be quiet because I was soo damn good and……….
Ok no he was full of shit.
We all know Chris Styles couldn’t please an ant so now the sober Al Envy will take over and finish this shit off. You see no one is giving us a chance this week because of the aurora of Johnny Stylez and Hunter Valentyne. You two have ran our mouths so much that people actually think that you guys are the best tag team of all time. I will sit here and question that real quick, and I bet my boy Inkt could question that as well.
Hunter Valentyne you go around backstage and talk about how I didn’t deserve any of the success I have earned. Newsflash bro you have never or will ever be a world champion while I have been twice. You called me a paper Ta champ and talked about how you were going to beat me for the belt and get back whats yours but you didn’t get the job done, and on Ignite this week you and the guy that you are a sidekick to will fail and fail epically.
It’s like I said before, Ryan Pugh and Inkt aren’t united. But they share a common goal. 8 Bit has a common goal. At the end of the night you two will be shells of your former selves lying on your backs with your small peeners stuck in the air looking up at the lights while me and Inkt celebrate a successful tag team title defense. No longer will DomestiK Disturbance be a threat because we are going to nip that shit in the fucking bud. This a new era in NEW, a United front against the nonsense that has dominated this company for so many years.
So go ahead Hunter and Johnny. Begin your elaborate promo to supposedly put us in our places. What are you guys going to do. Maybe Molly Mayhem’s vagina will be available again; oh I forgot Johnny’s tiny pecker is occupying it again. Do what you two mothers always do. Talk about the past, call us sidekicks, talk about how great you guys are even though you never defeated one respected tag team in your overrated careers. Hey how about you guys resurrect old cRu gimmicks like a zombie invasion or something.
You guys lack originality, and you guys are old news. 8 Bit is the future and United is the now. You and the Styles Mafia are going to be obsolete very soon. Hunter Valentyne will pay for his mouth he has no right to be running, and Johnny Stylez will pay for turning his back on my friends because he wants to be a leader, of course that is if he is the front of the line. If not he will take his ball and run home like he usually does. Maybe he can spend another month in got damn rehab.
The story will not have the same ending. 8 Bit will rise and topple the Disturbance. The Show will be stolen and stolen like never before. Get ready boys because you have no fucking idea what is coming for you.
Not bad for two supposed sidekicks.
It’s time for 8 Bit.
#ShowStealer