Post by Deleted on Mar 23, 2013 0:51:21 GMT -6
It was just another Seattle morning. Rainy, cool, a bit blustery, but home nonetheless. Peering out my window, the sun was already high in the late morning sky. It was blocked mostly by cloud cover, but when it poked through you could feel the beams pierce the window and warm your skin. Then as fast as it poked its head out it went back in, the ole’ in out in out happened for several minutes before the eruption occurred and the rain started falling heavily. Davey thought long and hard about venturing out today, and then realized that he had to travel to Pittsburgh or he would not make it in time for his NEW appearance, which he is contractually obliged to show up to, thanks to Jesse Styles bailing him from Jail.
Davey shakes his head, and walks out into the onslaught of rainfall. He pulled his black leather jacket up over his head, and ran towards the Greyhound station. The rain beat on his face like a facial, and dripped off his chin. Davey kept on running, until finally he got to the gas station where the bus picks up. He goes inside and looks at the travel schedule.
“Well, I’m going to go ahead and take a ticket from here to Cleveland please.” Davey says, looking at the clerk behind the counter.
“Yes sir, would you like a luxury coach or a standard bus?” The clerk responds, looking at Davey and assuming his answer.
Davey pops open his wallet and see’s the card in there, Jesse Styles, and a smile curls across his face.
“I’ll go luxury coach please?”
The clerk was shocked, but ran the card anyway. Davey smiled, nodded, and walked away. While waiting for the bus, he pulled out his Sony Walkman, and popped in a mixtape he’d made of his favorite pump up songs, and listened intently on his Beats by Dre headphones. Finally they announced Davey’s bus, and he went out to the loading ramp. He climbed in, and instantly he noticed the most peculiar sight. In every single seat there were little cat heads poking up. The bus was filled with all sorts of people, young men wearing thick coke bottle glasses and wizard tshirts, elderly women, and even a couple of nuns.
“Am I on the wrong bus?” DDD asked looking around.
“Well, we’re all going to Cleveland.” Said one lady in the front of the bus.
“Oh, well, uh…hi ladies, uh…Gentlemen… How’s it going?” Davey looks around thoroughly confused and slightly concerned for the sanity of the bus, and the future sanity of himself driving from Seattle to Cleveland with the entire staff of Cat Fancy apparently. Davey moved towards the back of the bus, and sat down. This was going to be a long trip he thought, knowing his walkman would die soon. He sat next to a younger guy maybe early twenties. He had a really nasty peach fuzz mustache and a black wizard shirt with lightening on it. The shoulders were littered with dandruff, and cat hair. He leaned over, and extended a hand to Davey, and smiled.
“I’m Fletcher, what’s your name?”
Davey can see the gleam of sweat on his palms caked with cat hair. He stands up and nods at the young man, and feigns a smile, “I’m Davey,” and walks away.
Davey finds a seat at the back of the bus that had both chairs open, and sat down. As he’s sitting he can see cats taking free roam through the aisles and under the seats. Most are on edge because they’re not familiar with their surroundings, and Davey realizes this was not what he paid for when he asked for a “luxury” coach. He hadn’t been sitting for more than 2 minutes when a cat starts rubbing against his leg. Davey looks down, and a Siamese cat is sitting there pawing and rubbing against his leg. Davey just looks not bothering the cat, when suddenly it begins urinating on his shoe.
“FUCKING CAT!” Davey yells, kicking the cat across the bus. The squeal of the cat was heard throughout the bus and before you know it an army of cats pounce on Davey, and begin clawing and biting him.
“FUCKING THINGS,” Davey yells again, tossing cats aside, but all he succeeds at is creating another space for another cat to pounce. Suddenly one of the Nuns comes over, and starts hitting Davey over the head with a handbag.
“You don’t kick my little Muffin,” she yells, flailing what felt more like a bowling bag with a bowling ball than a purse. Davey picks his foot up and shoves the woman with it, causing her to fall backwards, and hit her head.
“Where’s your god now?” He manages to yell while still being attacked.
Finally a whistle blows, and a lady sitting in the seat in front of Davey waves her hand. She has a small mouse puppet on her hand and begins singing a song. Davey didn’t recognize it but she was a very talented singer. The cats all began to simmer and return to what they were doing, and the woman sneaks back to sit with Davey.
“So, you from Cleveland?” One of the ladies asked. She was wearing a blue dress cut to about knee length, and had a graying perm. She had a moderately fit body for an older lady, but was by no means a GILF. Davey felt as though at her age she was a four or five, but that she was likely a looker when she was young.
“Nope, I’m from Seattle. I’m a professional wrestler by trade, and we are doing a show in Pittsburgh.”
“Oh, Pennsylvania, how beautiful. My husband and I went to Gettysburg, and it was just gorgeous. You really must stop there.”
“Well I’ll certainly try Mrs.…”
“Jones, call me Ms Jones. My husband passed years ago.”
“Oh, well I’m sorry to hear that. Say, can I ask you something.”
“Sure sugar, what’s on your mind?”
“What’s the deal with the cats?”
“OH, we have a feline friend’s society gathering weekend in Cleveland, and we wanted to bring our kitty cats.”
“Oh, how sweet, is that one yours?” Davey asks, pointing at the cat sitting next to Ms. Jones.
“Yes, that’s pringles. He’s so sweet, but he hates people. He loves when I bring out Mr. Kibbles.” Ms. Jones again shows the puppet of the mouse, and the cat starts going insane trying to get to the puppet. Ms. Jones lets him win a few rounds, until his bites started to hurt her fingers, and then puts him away in his crate for a while.
“So, what is your name young man?” She asked.
“I’m Davey ma’am.” Davey said.
“Oh please don’t call me ma’am, call me Joyce.” Ethel offers a hand for Davey, and he takes it and kisses it.
“Pleased to meet you Joyce.”
“You as well, Davey.”
Davey felt a very grandmotherly feel from Ethel and felt quite comfortable talking with her. She wasn’t crazy like some of the other ladies on this bus. Davey looked at Ethel and smiled, “So tell me about you Ethel, I bet you have stories to tell.”
“Oh do I ever.” She responds, happy that someone is taking the time to really talk to her.
“Well, here’s a good one. You look like the type of guy that could appreciate it.”
“Oh? Go ahead then.”
“Well, it was around August, of 1960. John F. Kennedy had just won the Democratic bid the month prior, and he and his wife were out to dinner. Yours truly was his waitress, and I was just in awe. Here I am serving bacon and eggs to John F. Kennedy and Jacqueline Kennedy. I set down their plates, and I walked up to Mr. Kennedy, and I shook his hand. ‘Mr. Kennedy, I’m so happy to finally meet you. Mrs. Kennedy. You look gorgeous as ever.’ She was gracious, and I went about my business. Later on while clearing the table, I happened upon a signed note on a napkin. ‘Dear Joyce, meet me outside your work at 11 pm sharp. John.’ I was so confused that I looked at my clock, ran home, changed clothes, and ran out the back door, sure I was too late.”
“Did you get there in time?” Davey asks, hanging on her every word.
“Oh yes, he was sitting there in a private limo. He opened the door and invited me in. So I went in, never being in a limo before. We had a couple drinks, and then he started kissing me. I was single at the time, mind you, but he was just a bit forward for me. ‘Please sir, we’ve only just met, and you’re married’ I told him, but he didn’t listen. Finally I said to hell with it. This is John F. Kennedy, he was sexy as hell, and he was coming on to me. So what happens?” She asks as Davey opens his mouth.
“Right,” Davey responds, looking at her with anticipation.
“Well, we started going at it, it was a bit weird at first sitting in the back of a limo and making love, but we soon got the rhythm right. We went for a long time, and then all of a sudden we stopped, Right outside his hotel. ‘What does that horny shit want?’ I think to myself sitting in his limo. He wants me to join his wife and him in a threeway. I told him no way no how in hell would I do that, and I slapped him, put my clothes on, and exited the car.”
“YOU’VE GOT TO BE SHITTING ME!” Davey yells, as all the passengers, including their cats glare at him. One cat runs back to the back of the bus and hops on Davey’s lap, baring teeth. Davey pets the cat, and soon lays down to go to sleep, and Davey looks back over at Ms. Jones.
“So how long you been a kitty lover?” He asked Ms. Jones.
“Well, I had my first pussy at 15. She was great fun. We played around, and I pet her, and were all over each other. Then she gave up and moved on.”
“She ran away?”
“you could say that, she found a man.”
“Wait, wait, wait. I meant cats, but wait…WHAT?” Davey says, again loud enough to get a few glares.
“Well yes, I was a child of the 60’s, we experimented with drugs and sexuality. It’s nothing wrong.”
“Not at all, just unexpected I guess.” Davey replies, still in awe.
Davey looked over at Ms. Jones with admiration. Davey puts the cat down, and realizes he has an erection from what Ms. Jones had just said. Davey pick the cat up again, and covers his junk. He was too slow for Ms. Jones though.
“So, I turn you on then do I?” She asks Davey, smiling at his predicament.
“Well, yeah, a bit you do I guess.”
“You do realize that I’m old enough to be your mom?”
“Yup,”
“Would you like a drink?” Ms. Jones asks, pointing to the drink station.
“Sure, I’ll have a screwdriver,” Davey responds, realizing he may need to drink to try to forget the embarrassment.
When she gets back from the small drink station midway through the bus, she sits down with her puppet on, and begins talking to Davey.
“Oh Davey, does Ms. Jones have you all worked up?” She said, throwing her voice to a higher pitch speaking with the puppet.
“NO!”
“Then put the kitty cat down.” She responds again through the puppet.
Davey sets the cat on the floor, and looks over at Ms. Jones, who is smiling ear to ear. She leans in and kisses Davey on the mouth, and pulls away briefly, and then pushes back into him. She braces her puppeted hand behind his head, and continues kissing him. By this point the lights inside the cabin of the bus are dark, and the shades were pulled for privacy. Joyce reaches down, and unbuttons Davey’s jeans, and starts rubbing his stomach and pelvic line with her puppet before sliding her hand inside his pants. She looks at him and smiles.
“No underpants eh, that’s very hot.” Davey smiles, and winks at Joyce, who slowly slides his pants down, and begins rubbing him with the puppet. Davey considers stopping her, but then decides to let it be. She strokes him really nicely, and even takes her time, to avoid any rashing or skin irritation.
She begins rubbing him faster, when suddenly a cat jumps up into his lap and starts going nuts over the cat puppet. It begins clawing at it, and scratching and biting, paying no regard to Davey’s member, and Joyce quickly pulls away, and tosses the cat. Before Davey could get his pants pulled up, another swarm of cats and angry nuns begin flocking on Davey and Joyce. Davey and Joyce manage to simmer everything down, and one of the nuns come over to apologize, but Davey wasn’t having any of it.
“You fucking Bible thumper, you think that just because you wear your fucking hood, means you’re saved by saying sorry? NOT AT ALL. Your god is an evil being.” Davey yelled
“Well you must have faith in him, and understand that he has a plan.”
“Oh you want to hear planning? Let’s build a man, and a woman, and then punish them for all eternity to be bound to each other in need, punish them by granting them children, and then letting the parents die before the children are even old enough to know how to wipe his own ass, let alone take care of themselves. Is that what god is to you? He only grants true power to douchebags and the ones he deems worthy? Your god is false, and I think that in any stretch of any imagination there is doubt amongst everyone, including that goody two shoes Reya Serra.”
The nun just walked away, shaking her head. Davey didn’t much care. He put his headphones on, and tuned out the noise, laid back and drifted to sleep. When he awoke they were already in Cleveland. Davey grabs his stuff and evacuates the train immediately, walking funny from the attack, and walks into the rental car office.
“Yes, I need one full sized SUV please.”
“Cash or pavement
Davey again hands over the Jesse Styles card, and is soon handed a set of Keys. D,
Davey walks outside, and searches up every aisle looking for the car that belongs to his key. Finally after an hour and a half, Davey is inside an escalade, heading towards Pittsburgh, without a care in the world.