Post by Jesse Styles on Apr 6, 2013 13:26:58 GMT -6
Jesse Styles: How in the fuck does something like this even fucking happen!
Andy: Boss you're foot is stuck in her fat that's so amazing.
Jesse Styles: I do not see how this is amazing you moron!
Sparkles: Shut up you dumb cracker you're the dumb honky who tried to kick me in my belly.
Jesse Styles: Woman stop speaking to me you disgust me and my god the fact that baby dick Blitz fucks you're fat ass somehow is well an unbelievable thing to me on both sides of the coin.
Sparkles: Boy you talk shit about my man one more time and I am going to slap you so hard you're momma will feel it.
Jesse Styles: That would fucking require you to be able to lift one of your jelly roll arms first.
How did we get here you wonder? Why is Jesse's foot stuck in this black woman's fat rolls and why did they have to go to the campus hospital to get his foot removed from her fat rolls? Well to answer these questions we must go back about five hours ago when Jesse and Andy arrived on campus at the University of Tennessee. The same campus that Jesse's opponent at Kamikaze goes to in fact and of course that opponent is none other then Blitz Price a football fanatic and well obviously a plus size woman lover oh not to mention he likes them of the African decent. Now to understand why Jesse decided to go to the campus in the first place and not just head for Tokyo where his huge Pay Per View was being held this week you must first understand a few facts. First Jesse has been getting driven nuts by this little pest known as Blitz Price. Second fact Jesse loves to fuck with people and since this rookie wants to drive Jesse nuts forcing Jesse to book him self in a match with the man if that's what you wish to call him well then Jesse decided to pay a visit to the college Blitz attends and take care of some business you might say.
Five hours ago
Kamikaze was rapidly approaching and Jesse Styles the owner of New Edge Wrestling not to mention current world champion of the federation had decided to take a little trip to a giant stain on the map known as the University of Tennessee. He was wearing black jeans and a Vanderbilt jersey while the assistant traveling with him Andy was wearing an Alabama Jersey. Right at this current moment in fact Jesse had already made a trip to see the dean and had gotten the use of a golf cart to drive around the campus which Jesse of course was driving and Andy was riding shotgun. They where getting all kinds of evil looks from people that go to the college due to the jerseys they where wearing and well Jesse could give a damn less obviously he wanted these redneck idiots to dislike him in fact it brought him joy. He knew this was the current home of Blitz Price one of the dumbest rednecks in all the land and now as Jesse slowed the golf cart up he looked up at a building that read Athletics department. Andy looked at Jesse and Jesse looked at him handing Andy a black case. Andy looked down at the case then opened it just enough to peak inside it once he did his eyes got rather wide as he closed it quickly.
Andy: My god boss what are we doing?
Jesse Styles: Don't question me.
Andy: But that's a lot of...
Jesse Styles: Shut the fuck up we are here and I have something to get accomplished with that black case.
Andy: Yeah but I don't know if this man will go for it I mean he is a man of honor after all.
Jesse Styles: Anyone who would let Blitz breathe the same fucking air as them can't have much honor.
Andy: I just don't know about this.
Jesse gave Andy an evil glare like he gave a shit about what Andy thought he damned sure wasn't paying Andy to think for if that was the case well it just wouldn't be a good thing it's comparable to the idea of Blitz actually having a brain what so ever which well is just not possible. Jesse and Andy stepped off the golf cart and walked inside the athletics department front doors once inside they stopped at the front desk where a decent looking red headed female wearing glasses smiled at them. She especially smiled at Jesse looking at him with a stare and well it was obvious she was checking him out and who could blame her? He's Jesse Styles a beast of a man not to mention the money, the power and the skills that come a long with being Jesse Styles. Now those things that where just mentioned zero apply to Blitz whose brain level is so low in fact he agreed to step into an Unsanctioned match with Jesse which we all know is his fucking playground.
Red head: Can I help you handsome?
Jesse Styles: You could start off by addressing me as Mr.Styles.
Andy: You can help me sugar.
Red head: Wasn't talking to you shrimp.
Andy: HEY!
Jesse Styles: Anyways yes I am here to see Coach Jones.
Red head: Well he's rather busy right now sir but uh do you have an appointment?
Jesse Styles: I don't need an appointment I am here to speak with him about Blitz Price.
Red head: Oh Blitz? He's such a promising young man.
Jesse Styles: Soon to be a dead young man.
Red head: What was that?
Jesse walked up to the desk of the red headed lady noticing her name tag read Joyce he then smiled at her and motioned for Andy to get over next to him. Andy kind of acted like he didn't want to at first until Jesse looked back and gave him one of his I will fucking kill you type looks. This caused Andy to practically run to Jesse's side and once Andy was there Jesse opened the black case in the hands of Andy and pulled out a small wad of cash placing it on the desk. Joyce's eyes got well quite wide when she saw that money and Jesse just stood there with the money on the desk and his hand over it. Joyce tried to reach out and touch the money but his hand wouldn't budge. He noticed a picture of Blitz Price off to the side of her desk with his fucked up signature even signed to it this caused Jesse to roll his eyes wondering how in the hell someone like Blitz could ever be worthy of giving someone an autograph I mean the dudes an ugly fucker for one and well his talent is zero.
Jesse Styles: Nice picture of Blitz there.
Joyce: Oh you like that? Yeah he is such a nice young man and he is not only going to be a big football star but he keeps telling me about how he's doing this wrestling thing and is going real far in it.
Jesse Styles: Right if you call jerking the curtain real far.
Joyce: I'm sorry you want me to jerk what?
Jesse Styles: Not what I said.
Joyce: I will gladly jerk you off baby.
Jesse Styles: Oh god damn it here take this money and get me into see the damned Coach.
Joyce: Fine by me but I give great hand jobs ask Blitz even if he is a little small in that department.
Jesse Styles: Joyce focus and get me into see the fucking Coach.
Joyce literally saluted Jesse after he said that. Wow what fucking kind of place was Jesse visiting I mean if this is where Blitz goes to school no wonder he's so stupid of course he was already screwed to begin with due to the fact of that inbreed idiot Psycho being his daddy. Which is another funny thing that Blitz actually thinks Jesse is holding his daddy captive and last report was in Cuba apparently from what Jesse's inside sources have been telling him that's legit what Blitz thinks right now. If Jesse wanted to hold some idiot captive it damned sure wouldn't be in Cuba and Psycho damned sure would never be found unless Jesse wanted him found because he is Jesse Styles not a loser, an idiot or a redneck like Blitz. Jesse possessed more qualities from his right damned pinky then Blitz did from his entire body.
Andy: Jesse can we just leave this is taking far to long and I really don't wanna end up in some jail in these neck of the woods.
Jesse Styles: Andy I swear you are almost as stupid as Blitz sometimes.
Andy: I actually take offense to that.
Jesse Styles: I'm shocked you didn't think it was a damned compliment.
Joyce: Coach Jones will see you now.
Jesse Styles: Bout time let's go Andy.
Joyce: Oh and Jesse remember I give good hand jobs!
Jesse Styles: And, I still don't give a shit.
Jesse and Andy walk past the desk and down the hall way looking at the photo's a long the walls as they walk Jesse see's one of Peyton Manning thinking to him self that's the only god damned thing good that ever came out of this shit hole. Andy was busy looking at the poster of the current coach thinking to him self why can't I be an assistant for a man like that? He's lucky Jesse can't read minds or he would be getting punched in the face right this very minute. As they turned a right towards the office of Coach Jones Jesse's mind was wandering a bit. He was thinking about how Blitz had tried to chase him and his Styles Mafia off the other week and how Blitz is just a rookie but is so stupid he wants to go for the biggest fish in the pond that being him self of course. Some people might call what Blitz is doing ballsy but Jesse calls it STUPID! Andy and Jesse now reach the office door and Jesse doesn't even knock he just opens the door and in they walk face to face with Coach Jones who was sitting in his chair drinking a bottle of moonshine shocker I know right?
Coach Jones: Hey you could at least knock!
Jesse Styles: Coach I sure hope you know who I am.
Coach Jones: Well it just so happens I do.
Andy: Then who is he?
Coach Jones: He's Jesse Styles the owner of that big wrestling company.
Andy: And, don't forget world champion.
Coach Jones: That uh too.
Andy: Also one of the sexiest men on the planet.
Jesse Styles: Uh Andy that's enough thanks I think.
Andy: Just telling him who the hell you are boss.
Jesse Styles: Yeah you did a uh great job now shut up.
Jesse grabbed the black case out of the hands of Andy and sat it on the desk of Coach Jones then he unzipped it and a whole lot of money was seen inside it. Coach Jones eyes lit up as he reached out to touch the money much like Joyce did earlier but Jesse smacked his hand away and then pulled out a camera that was a long side of all the cash. He turned the camera on and hit the start button on it turning it towards Coach Jones. The slide show began showing the Coach in his office getting rode by a much younger woman perhaps even a student at the university. Once the slide show of pictures ended Jesse placed the camera back in with the money and just kind of smiled evil like towards Coach Jones.
Jesse Styles: Now Coach that sure didn't look like your wife Barbra in those shots.
Coach Jones: It was an accident I swear!
Jesse Styles: So it was an accident that she just so happend to be fucking your brains out?
Coach Jones: Okay tough guy what do you want!
Jesse Styles: Well I want Blitz Price to never be apart of your team for starters or any family member of his ever as long as you the coach of this team.
Coach Jones: But, Blitz could be a star for this team damn it.
Jesse Styles: Your joking right?
Coach Jones: No I wasn't.
Jesse Styles: STUPID! My god what is wrong with you people seriously?
Coach Jones: What do you mean by you people?
Jesse Styles: Fucking rednecks!
Coach Jones: Hey that's not nice but fine you got a deal Blitz will never be apart of this team and no member of his family ether as long as I am head coach. Now can I get those pictures please and maybe the money too?
See this is the part where you would expect Jesse to just hand over the money and the camera right? Well you don't know Jesse Styles or how his mind works now a days do you? For you see Jesse isn't exactly a balanced person anymore but he damned sure is smart and well fucking evil to the core now a days. Blitz was about to find all of this out at Kamikaze when Jesse does shit to him in the unsanctioned match that no one could ever wish upon another man. Blitz is under the impression that he will find a way to win no matter what it takes but his impression would be dead wrong. Jesse plans to take care of him as quickly and as painfully as possible then move onto his other mission of the night being the special ref in his rules match for to crown a world champion between Inkt and Colt. Right now Jesse is the world champion but as he said he would give the title to whoever won the match at Kamikaze and well he didn't need to be champion Anyways he's bigger then the title for Christ sakes.
Jesse Styles: No.
Coach Jones: What do you mean no!
Andy: Yeah uh Jesse what do you mean no?
Jesse Styles: I could easily give you this camera but you and I both know I got copies and as for this money it was just here for show it's not for your hillbilly ass. It's my god damned money that I am taking with me to Tokyo it has other means to be used over there. But, I will keep these pictures on ice as long as you do what I tell you to do and stick to it there Coach or these pictures well trust me they will appear all over the net and on your wife's personal cell phone. And, yes I am capable of doing that last part trust me I am just like I am fully capable of destroying your boy Blitz at Kamikaze. However just in case the son of a bitch survives I am going to make sure he has no promising football career to come back too.
Coach Jones: You are one evil son of a bitch.
Jesse Styles: Watch it! Evil I might be but my mother is no bitch.
Andy: So are we in agreement here guys or what?
Coach Jones nodded his head as he took another drink of his moonshine and Andy quickly zipped the black case back up then picked it up placing it back in his arms. Jesse then stood up stepping around the desk extending his hand to Coach Jones. The Coach held his hand out and as Jesse grabbed it he pulled Jones to his feet and HYPE KICK right to the face of the Coach laying him out on his carpet. Jesse and Andy then walked out of the office, back down the hallway, out the exit door and back into the golf cart that Jesse is using. Andy looked at Jesse with one of those what in the hell type of looks at Jesse started the golf cart and laughed a little to him self.
Andy: What was the point of that hype kick?
Jesse Styles: For my own god damned amusement that's what the point was.
Andy: I'm not sure if I like working for you Jesse for you are not a nice man.
Jesse Styles: Cry me a fucking river and get over it Jesus you sound like that cry baby Blitz right now always crying about his poor daddy and how I ether A killed him or B have him held captive somewhere.
Andy: Well did you kill him or have him held captive?
Jesse Styles: Now if I answered that then my fun level would go way down Andy.
Andy: Well I'm glad it's all about your fun level.
Suddenly just as Jesse was about to move the golf cart a big shadow appeared in front of them and once Jesse's eyes focused he saw this four hundred and fifty pound black woman standing there with her hands over her hips wearing a home made Blitz is my lover Jersey that did not fit her fat gut what so ever. Jesse rubbed his eyes and looked again but sadly she was still standing there practically foaming at the mouth as she glared right at Jesse. Andy got out of the golf cart and tried to ask the female to move but she picked him up in a bear hug and was squeezing the life out of Andy. Jesse just sat in the golf cart not bothered at all by what was happening to his assistant instead he was wondering to him self was this really Blitz lover because that would be just well about right. Finally Jesse stepped out of the golf cart and walked towards this large black woman.
Jesse Styles: Put him down whatever the fuck your name is.
Black woman: It's Sparkles you cracker and not until you promise to leave my man Blitz alone!
Jesse Styles: I can't do that.
Sparkles: Then your boy here gets it.
Jesse Styles: Andy spit in her eye.
Sparkles: Say what?
With that Andy did as Jesse said he spit right in her left eye and she released the grip she had on him for Jesse's advice obviously caught her off guard as Jesse charged in HYPE KICKING HER RIGHT IN HER FAT GUT!!! But, something went horribly wrong as she went down Jesse went down with her. He stood up but couldn't get his left foot out of her rolls of fat. So Jesse had his foot stuck in Blitz's black girlfriends rolls of fat. You wanna talk about a fucked up situation this would be one of those. Sparkles was moaning in pain from the kick Jesse hit to her upper gut and after trying to get his foot loose several times he finally just sat down with his leg stretched out attached to the gut of Sparkles. Jesse then pulled his phone out and dialed 911.
Jesse Styles: Yeah I need an ambulance outside the University of Tennessee athletic department. What's wrong? You wouldn't believe me if I told you so just uh send an ambulance.
With that Jesse hit the end button on his cell phone and we now go back to the present time where a doctor is standing with a thing of Crisco in his hand spreading it around the rolls of fat on Sparkles and Jesse's leg. Jesse looked very agitated which meant very bad things for Blitz like he wasn't going to get it at Kamikaze as is but now he's really fucked. Finally the doctor and Andy both pulled really hard on Jesse's leg and they got his foot free from the layers of fat rolls Sparkles had. Jesse then stood up with a bit of a limp and looked at Sparkles then at Andy.
Jesse Styles: Go outside get us a car.
Andy: But, we don't have a car here.
Jesse Styles: Find someone that has one out there and pay them you moron.
Andy: Oh right will do.
Jesse Styles: As for you Sparkles I'll try to send your man back to you in well pieces heh.
Sparkles: Oh you mother fucker!
Sparkles tried to come at Jesse but Jesse grabbed a candy bar that was for some reason sitting on the table next to him and he tossed it on the ground near Sparkles. This caused her fat ass to stop charging towards him and dive to the floor for the candy bar. Jesse laughed a little at what he just saw and then limped out of the hospital looking around for Andy who finally drove up in a old mini van. Jesse rolled his eyes and just put his hand over his face as he slowly got into the van and off they drove for the airport where one of Jesse's very fast private jets awaited them. His destination was Tokyo Japan to destroy Blitz physically and have a lot of fun later in the night in the world title match.