Post by Deleted on Apr 9, 2013 21:14:50 GMT -6
Anger Rages in the soul of a self-defecating male. Many people tend the have the false belief that the wounds over a three year span were self-inflicted. There have been factual imbalances to that horrific argument. The factual dissimilarities that were uttered by a British man last week are about to be rectified with fact. The simple truth is fact cannot be spun to the liking of a man who did the one thing he could not do two years ago.
The man tried to weave a fictional tale of termination being the cause of a match between the evil and the self-righteous never taking place. The asshole facing the savior never happened but it had nothing to do with the evil but the weakness in the testosterone of the good. It is quite ironic his spine is hurting him since he never had one to begin with. The facts are what a man who has made his life killing myths is about to make clear.
The myth has been uttered by several including the former world champion Colt and the Terror Dome winner himself Matthew Slater. The myth is that the match did not take place due to termination of a contract for expected services. That could not be further from the truth. The end of the legacy of Matt Slater happened at the Justice he is thinks he has been absolved of. He thinks winning terror Dome eradicates the mistake of helping Triple X win. The truth he is ran away to that exact event to avoid a confrontation with pure evil.
Some might think that is a fallacy but hie from the truth and spin it to their own selfish definitions. The contracts had the ink on them dried. It was supposed to happen but Slater got cold feet. It had nothing to do with physical punishment. Mr. Slater is a tough son of a bitch. He can take a beating like few in this business ever have. His weakness of constitution came internally. The man was afraid of being exposed. He knew only one man knew the truth about his lack of balls. He knew that each and every thing that was uttered from the mouth of pure evil was a fact. Those facts were indisputable. He knew that if he was exposed the name he had carve out for himself would mean less than a Valora Salinas bottle of empty tequila. His fear drove him to break the contract and more importantly his word.
The promise weaved from the mouth of a hypocrite meant nothing. The man whose words are completely and utterly useless was broken. A man is only as good as his word and Mr. Slater’s word is not worth a shit. He signed his name to face a man at Justice, the same Justice he made a mockery of the name he used to pride himself to own. He wants the world to think that an untimely termination stopped the match from happening. If memory serves the mind of the strong and the constitution of the truthful it was a match against Juliette Del Croix that took place. The fact remains that Justice was my playground and not some unemployment line as he would love to be the truth. He ran and hid behind Triple X’s skirt. The man did not have the balls to face the hated. He did not have the constitution to face the truth.
What is the point some might ask. The point is that Matt Slater is full of shit. The point is to point out factual inaccuracies in his false position. The fact of the matter is that Matt Slater is not returned to his former glory for lies still betray his false statements. He will face me in a tag team match this week and still he will fall short of former glory. He won Terror Dome and nothing can change that. He still has not stepped into the ring with his tormentor one on one. Until he vanquishes his fear he will remain a shell of a man.
The thoughts of opportunity lost run through the head of a man with regret. So many questions are being raised and no answers are found. Had a lack of preparation for a massive time change cost this man the opportunity to change a fortune of lost chances? Had emotion drained him of the energy to succeed where in the past failure has been his only companion? The thought of changing destinies were weighing heavily on the mind of the angry. This rage had become a soothing balm to heal him from the horrific iniquities he currently faces.
Was fortune with the spineless that moment rather than the asshole who was ill prepared? Did the tequila swilling hard core icon have fate turn against her yet again? Only a truthful man can admit that the same hardcore icon shared the same fate and weakness as a man with extreme rage running through his ill-tempered body. The hatred that ran through my veins for Miss Salinas had a lot to do with reminders of self-inflicted failure. Her failure and my own are intertwined with bad intentions for the right reasons.
The seat that was now occupied by the defeated and a man who decimated a former enemy was an uncomfortable one at best. The physical toll taken upon the mortal coil left the weakness of the flesh in constant torment. The man on the other side of the couch was left in constant wonder about the silence of his long time best friend.
“Phucking hell. Dood! Are you going to say something or sit there with that angry look on your face? You know being pissed off is not going to change anything. If anyone knows how tough it is to win Terror Dome it is me. Besides we got shit to tend to.”
With a shift of weight the pain returned to the core of the sternum. Each part of a weakened body caused pain. Even sitting with the back on the cushion caused the burn on the skin to irritate a red core. A yelp in pain followed as the man sitting on the couch got some thrill out of it.
“FUCK! God damn it I know we have that Tag Team match we challenged the entire NEW Edge culture to and we have takers. Granted they are idiots for even trying to match the greatest tag team on planet Earth in the ring. They are going to find out the time for bragging about it is over and the time for proving it once again is upon us. Unstable’s group of idiots are going to find out that the hard way as are United’s own fuck mooks. The Styles Mafia will always rule the tag division. “
“Phuck dood. I realize the type of pain you are in right now because I have felt the sting of Terror Dome a couple of times. Just let me do the heavy lifting and you stand on the apron. Just let me handle it since you have called me the greatest closer in New Edge history.”
He does not understand my feelings for the first time in a long time. There is no way standing on the apron of the ring watching him kick ass is going to satisfy a thirst for blood. Terror Dome did not weaken me as some might think. The truth is the physical body was weakened but resolve for retribution was stronger than ever.
“Do you honestly think that another opportunity to get my hands on Valora Salinas and Matt Slater is going to be wasted? It is another chance to cause those bitches to bleed. You just keep Dathan and Kronin occupied and I got the rest.”
“Dood this worries me. We are a team and that is exactly why we are who in the phuck we are. If you are too busy getting revenge on Slater and focusing on Valora then we could lose.”
A burst of laughter accompanies the prior statement for one half of the greatest tag team to ever live. Johnny seems to be a bit more comfortable with the laughter instead of the dead serious look of resolve that was written across a bandaged face prior to the conversation. The look is one of wonder rather than confidence.
“We are not going to lose to a mismatched thrown together team like either of the ones we face this week. Neither the unstable team or the United team has a shot in hell of beating us. There is no replacement for experience in tag teams. That is why the greatest tag teams in wrestling history remain great even after their skills have eroded. Slater can claim momentum but tag team wrestling is his damned weakness and we both know that. Him and Kronin have about the same shot of Matty Boy telling the damned truth. Dathan and Valora are going to get hurt and that is all there is to it. She will want us to bow down and worship a name that has yet to be earned. Unstable is a great name for that group. When a person is unstable they have a problem grasping reality. The reality is Valora is a failure. Always has been and always will be. Dathan is the same failure but in a different way. Reality bites is a lesson they will soon learn.”
The preparations have been made and the impending arrival is en route. The main reason for this joyous event is that my boss, Jesse has made it a possibility. The woman who gave birth to an enraged lunatic will be arriving at the home soon. Her mangled body would be given a chance to heal with rest and medication.
“Yo, your mom is coming in today, right? She is so damned cool. What the hell happened to you, asshat?”
“I am cool in my own way.”
“If the working definition of cool is to be a total dick then yeah you are cool. So when is she going to be here?”
“Jesse made arrangements since he understood my condition following the match from hell. She is being transported from the airport as we speak. Then we will talk about what all happened last week.”
“Are you going to cry like Roger Wright in the middle of a career melt down again?”
“Probably. If anything my ass is a mamma’s boy. Now shut it bitch.”
‘You are in massive amounts of pain and your mother almost died last week so I will forget you said that as a favor to your mother. Do not do it again.”
"Yes massah!”
As Johnny and I are speaking a vibrating comes from my pocket. No it is not Molly Mayhem’s seventeen inch vibrator which she needs to make a tight fit in that stretched out clam of hers, it is my cell phone going off. The one thing no one wants is to see the lettering S-T-Y-L-E-S comes across a caller ID but that is exactly what is happening. The only choice is to answer and hope he is in a good mood. Being married to that United whore never puts anyone in a good mood so he is cross as usual. The call is put on speaker phone so mi amigo can listen.
“Whaddupp ?”
"This is Jesse Styles not one of your hood rats so address me properly.”
“What the fuck do you want dickhead? Better?”
“No that is not better but it is the closest you are capable of. I wanted to know if the arrangements made for you mother were suitable.”
“I have no idea because like Slater’s balls she is not here yet. But the airport information on the internet says that her flight arrived this morning. She has yet to call but I assume you made transportation arrangements.”
“OF COURSE I MADE FUCKING TRANSPORTATION ARRANGEMENTS! WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I AM?”
‘The dude that has his wife…”
“SERIOUSLY NO MORE SCARLET AND INKT JOKES!”
“Yessuh massah.”
"Actually the situation with her and Inkt is the reason for my damned call you asshole! It seems as if we find it necessary to have a five year anniversary show to celebrate the New Edge dominance of the competition. There is a spot open for a world title match. I know this is of interest to you.”
The bald headed dood was right but the reasoning he had no clue. It is a certainty that he felt as if winning the world title would be of great interest to me and he was half right. The world title would be used as bait. Inkt was a pawn in this match of kings in the chess game of Justice. Slater would not run away if he had the proper motivation to show the fuck up. Check mate bitch!
“Yes this is of great interest to me.”
“Well you know sometimes I scratch your back if you scratch mine. I have a situation I need your help with and I know Johnny is there because you two do not leave each others side especially with a tag title match this week.”
“Whaddupp cuz!”
“Hey Johnny and do not interrupt me again. It seems my empty headed sister needs a favor of me. Seeing as I can pay for your services with services of my own you will handle what needs to be handled to keep family continuity a possibility. You and your boy do me this favor and you get placed in the match you want at the five year anniversary show and you get your title shot.”
“Who do I have to kill?”
“You will be rewarded for not killing anyone. My sister needs someone to watch her three sons. I know your mother is coming to the house but she will not be there for another couple of hours. So if you watch the three demon seeds then I will not have to. They live to see their mother again you get your title shot.”
“Let me see if I have this shit straight. If I do not kill the kids and they are left unharmed I get my shot at Slater?”
“Inkt is the World Champion not Matt Slater.”
“Defeating Inkt will be as easy as defeating Colt. Then Slater will have to face me in the middle of the ring. He will not be able to run and hide as in years past. He will be exposed for the spineless hypocrite I always said he is. Destroying Slater will be my biggest conquest to date. But he needs motivation to step into the ring with me. We have seen how cowardly he is when only his word is given.”
“Inkt will be no easy match.”
“Inkt needs to send my ass a thank you card. I destroyed Colt in the middle of the ring to the point he was emotionally and physically beaten. Hell even Devine could have beaten that Colt after I was done with him. He accomplished nothing.”
“So you will do it?”
“Fuck yeah!”
The phone went dead and there was a knocking at the door. Damned hell that was quicker than a Matt Slater lie. Or a Dathan title reign. Or a Valora choke in a big match. Or a Kronin loss to KOP. Well you get the point. The time to arise and answer it was at hand unfortunately for me the mind was willing but the flesh was extra crispy. Johnny chuckles at me as he gets the door. There was a spring in his step because he had the night off at Kamikaze. Well he faced Roger Wright and anymore that is the same fucking thing.
A woman was at the door with a scowl on her face. It was the same scowl reserved for me by Jesse. There was no mistake this was the sister he spoke of. That cock sucker set me up. Oh well the reward was worth the damned trouble. Well I think it is anyways.
“Are you the miserable bastard that Messy Jesse got to watch my kids? They better be in the same shape as they were left to you in or the shit your wrestling faggots do to you will be nothing compared to the ass kicking you will get from me!”
J and I look at each other and laugh our asses off. MESSY JESSE! I swear to God he will never live this shit down if he lives to be a hundred years old. He could be Yoda and I will still be using that shit. It will be on fuggin t shirts and lunch boxes and shit.
“Maam, I can assure you that I am properly motivated to watch your little bastards. Those Crib Lizards are going to be fine I can tell you that. By the way what is your name?”
“My name is Katie as if it matters. Messy Jesse had better take care of this while I go out shopping or I will punch him right in the face. It will not be the first time I made his ass cry. That dumb bitch he married will have nothing to say about it.”
“You know Scarlet?”
“Of course I know Scarlet. I was at the fucking wedding.”
“You got pictures?”
“Yeah I do but I will have to email them to you. Tell Jesse to God Damned eat something he looks like he lost a hundred pounds.”
“I tell him to eat a dick all the time.”
“Watch the boys and we will not have a problem. They are hurt or some shit and you answer to me. I am not as nice as my little bitch of a brother.”
With that she walked away in a huff. Apparently being a prick runs in the family. I could not wait to see those fuggin wedding pictures. And I could not wait to see MESSY JESSE. Holy fuck he was going to be pissed off.
As their mother walked out the door they all started chanting Thomas in unison over and over again. They refused to stop as this went on for minutes that seemed like years. Finally we turned on the TV. My guess was that Thomas was some fugging cartoon. If the little curtain crawlers sat on their asses and watched a fuggin cartoon this shit was going to be easy. The time would pass fairly quickly and Katie would be back before I knew it. Johnny was texting Jesse to find out what the fuck Thomas was.
He looked at me and told me and FUCK!
“Hunter, Thomas can be found on Net Flicks or Hulu Plus since I know you have no cartoon DVD’s. Put it on there and it is a cartoon where trains have faces or some shit. Beats the phucking shit out of me what it is. Put it on and make them shut up or it is shovel up the ass time.”
With the desperation of Dathan trying to hold a title belt longer than two weeks the X Box 360 is turned on. The green home screen plays and quickly with a few movements on the controller net flicks kids is found. It took forever to scroll through the other shit I would never watch. The chants never ceased and they were getting on whatever nerves my ass had left. Finally an animated train came up and they pointed and yelled into my ear. FUCKING CONCUSSIONS!
With haste the animated creation was clicked on and a graphic was posted. The middle child who was larger than the other two took the damned controller from my hand. Honestly that was the last shit that could be remembered as consciousness took me away and left J alone with the three demon seeds. From memory he played the damned cartoon.
The noise in the room faded away as a glance around saw me as an animated train. Something here was fucked up. This had to be me fading away with the pain killers mi amigo has given to me. Now he was left to deal with them and now animation in train form was what had happened to me. The cheesy ass theme music played and a narrator with a British voice played. It was announced that Matt Slater was the narrator. Having to listen to his lying tongue was enough to make me want to puke.
“Welcome to Slater and Friends. I am your special narrator Matt Slater. The winner of Terror Dome and the Next New Edge Wrestling World Champion. We are here to see Engine Hunter chugging away on the line. He is an ill tempered meanie face who does not get along with the other engines. Engine Valora Especially tends to dislike him. But then she does nothing but crash into things to tell people she is hardcore and tough. She is not a nice engine either.”
“We See Engine Hunter and Engine Valora speaking to Toppum Jesse Asshat. Toppum Jesse Asshat does not appear to be in a happy mood boys and girls.”
The black train is in decent shape but a little outdated on with my animated face on the front of it. The purple train that surrounds Valora’s face is in better shape but it is banged up and twisted due to her trying to prove herself by wrecking herself at every turn only to fail on her goal. They are met by Engine Dathan who is about as clueless as it gets and by engine Kronin who speaks in a German accident. He appears early in the show never to be seen again. Engine Kronin is not good enough to close the show. Dathan only appears in other shows because he is not charismatic enough to get a long run with the show.
“What the hell do you want Toppum Jeese Asshat?”
“You will speak to me correctly or I will have you removed from service Engine Hunter. I have a job for each of you. We need to go three hundred miles down the track with valuable cargo.”
“What is the valuable cargo mister Asshat?”
Of course Dathan sparks up thinking by speaking to Jesse Assumhat in a nice way it will get him some perks and shit. This is typical of his behavior no matter what he says personally. Dathan is a joke that he is the last to get.
“Engine Dathan the five of you will go three hundred miles carrying DVD’s of United and Unstable for sale.”
Of course dickhead Engine Hunter had to say something here. Why the hell would anyone carry worthless shit like that? It is not like Unstable and Untied together could sell a fuggin thing. But a job is a job no matter how shitty that job is.
“Toppum Asshat. Why would anyone carry such worthless cargo? Even if it got there unharmed there is no way anyone would buy crap with those two names on it. Everyone knows Styles Mafia is the only way to go.”
“Engine Hunter I realize that Unstable and Untied are not of value. But I have to do something to keep this line afloat. Styles Mafia can only carry the merch sales for so long. Maybe some idiot will buy this worthless crap. It is not your job to sell that crap, Engine Hunter but simply to deliver it to the station. Maybe I will have Johnny Styles sell it. That dude can sell anything.”
“Now you have your jobs to do and you must work together for the greater good of the New Edge Railway. Each of you has special skills that can make this work. Now get to work, I am not asking I am telling you how it is.”
The narrator comes up once again with that irritating British accent. God even hearing that shit makes me want to punch shit. His prim and proper dialogue makes me want to kill him all over again. Him talking about winning Terror Dome is worse than fingernails on a chalk board.
“The lads are on their prestigious journey to get the job done and the cargo is precious beyond compare. Engine Hunter is doing what Engine Hunter always does and that is to do everything on his own. Unless Engine Johnny is around his teamwork is non-existent. He sees no value in working with those he deems to be unworthy of his talents. Boys and Girls let us watch to see how this all unfolds.”
“Forget those guys. There is no one how even wants this useless crapola. I will do what I have always done and that is carry those five ass hats. I need no help from anyone.”
Engine Hunter chugs away on his own as his wheels chug towards the destination which is the Justice Train Depot. We leave Engine Hunter and are soon joined by Engine Valora. She is speaking to the other engine on the adjoining track Engine Dathan.
“Engine Dathan I know I have failed in the past on an Epic levels in going the distance. This is why we should partner up because you have done the same thing.”
“At least I have gone the distance once unlike you Engine Valora. I was voted by my other engines as the best engine of 2012. You have done nothing but get three quarters of the way there and run out of gas.”
“Engine Dathan what you say is true so I am thinking if we run at half speed we can both get there in time to meet Jesse Toppum Asshat. I mean we made our name on the New Edge Line by going half speed.”
“Engine Valora, seeing as I have no real ideas of my own I will use yours. It makes sense logically as if I even understand the meaning of that word. I say we try going half speed and we do what we do best and that is choke when the glory is on the line. I am sure if we are late no one will care as long as we are there soon.”
The British prick is speaking once again and even in this form he pissed Engine Hunter off. His tone is that of superiority and it makes Engine Hunter want to reach through the damned screen and choke the life out of him. Unfortunately that is no possibility much as there is no possibility of him speaking the truth.
“It appears as if Engine Valora and Engine Dathan have formed an Unstable plan. Knowing them it will never work but history can sometimes change. We now meet Engine Kronin waiting for Engine Slater to arrive. Too bad he is already at the station in front of them all.”
“We all know I will never make it to the end of the show because that would mean I am important to the writers. Slater will probably carry me to whatever time I can get to and still it will not be enough.”
“Boys and Girls he is right. Engine Slater is far superior to all of them at least in his own mind. Engine Hunter is approaching the station while the rest of them are waiting to get out of the station. This is not exactly the shocker of the century as Toppum Jesse Asshat is waiting. He has a smile on his face as he meets Engine Hunter. Let us see what Toppum Asshat has to say.”
“Engine Hunter you got the job done as you always do. You did it your own way and that is fine. Your partner is waiting in the station as Engine Styles got the job done as well. This is no surprise as you have been the pride team of New Edge Railways for some time.”
Engine Hunter chugs to meet his friend in the station with the useless cargo. It is unloaded as Engine Johnny chugs over. He is smoking and calling for Engine Hunter.
“HUNTER! HUNTER! PHUCKING HUNTER!”
With a shake of my head and back to reality my ass comes. For some reason the floor is where my body is found as Johnny is looking down at me. He shakes his damned head at me always. Something happened that is embarrassing but damned if I knew what it was.
“Wake up sunshine!”
“God Damned pain killers.”
“I was there with you at the doctor’s facilities in Japan. They said you are allergic to Vicodin. Seeing as all pain killers have some Vicodin in them you could take none. Doc said you had to tough it out. You damned sure did not take any performance enhancing drugs like Slater did. Unlike Slater your performance does not need enhancing.”
“So mind telling me why the fuck I am on the damned floor.”
“Promise you won’t get pissed.”
“Why is it that every time you make me promise that it turns out that is exactly what happens? What the fuck happened?”
“Well do you remember Katie, Jesse’s sister?”
“Kind of we were watching her demon seed.”
“Well you kind of got a little mouthy when she called us wrestling homos or queers or faggots or whatever. DO you remember that?”
“Well I remember calling us faggots so what?”
“Well you kind of retorted in the typical Hunter fashion by insulting her where it hurt. Only this time it hurt you. To quote Fridays…”
YoU GoT KnOcKed ThE PhUcK OuT!!!!!!!!!!!
“You mind repeating that?”
“Hurricane Katie punched you in the face and you were out cold for an hour. Meanwhile I did what I always do and that is have your damned back. I listened to the middle kid repeat the same part of a damned cartoon five hundred times until it sounded like the crap Roger Wright spews. That was total shit.”
‘And?”
“The older one kept telling me he wanted taco salad. Like my ass knows how to make taco salad. What kind of weird ass kid wants salad anyways? That was not the worst of it. The youngest one defiled your bathroom and tossed all of the TP in the toilet like we are going to toss Unstable and United in the toilet.”
“So what you are telling me is that…”
YoU GoT KnOcKeD ouT By A GiRL!!!!!!
“I swear to God Hunter as long as I am breathing you are never going to live this shit down. We all know we are going to beat United and Unstable but I will never stop reminding you of that. KatyDid is going to tell you one thing and that is…”
MaMa SAiD KnOcK U OuT!!!!!!!!!!
“Fuck off J! I mean it shut the hell up.”
Once again my phone is ringing and it is the same asshole that got me into this in the first place. The Styles name appears as he wants some sort of update. Telling him his little sister knocked me out is not something that is desired. Once again it is on speaker phone as Johnny cannot stop laughing.
“I got a call from my little sister and she said something interesting. She actually said two things I never thought I would hear ever. The first being that Johnny Stylez is one hell of a baby sitter. Katie wants Johnny to baby sit for her in the future. The second being that my sister knocked your ass out. Tell me that is true because I will never let you hear the end of it.”
Johnny yells out into the phone his response.
iT Is As TrUe As EnVy Is In ThE PhuCking StylEZ MafiIa Cuz!!!!!!!!!!
“Fuck off J!”
“Hunter I will keep you away from my sister for the time being. We do not want her knocking you out and costing you the strap against Inkt! Maybe I should give Katie the title shot instead. She might knock Inkt the fuck out too. HA!”
“Seriously FUCK YOU BOTH!”
“KatyDid is that youoooo?”
Johnny made the reference to Katie and of course I looked around. Johnny found this widely hilarious as both he and Jesse were laughing their asses off. Fuck that shit I was weak after Terror Dome. I see that bitch again and it is on.
“FUCK OFF Messy Jesse!!!!!”
“Too little Too fucking late, Hunter. There is no way Messy Jesse trumps my little sister knocking you on your ass. “
Johnny laughs heartily at my embarrassment as he and Messy Jesse are having a laugh at my expense. The laugh will be when my ass pins Slater for the 123 after Valentyme. Then those bitches can laugh all they want to.
The man tried to weave a fictional tale of termination being the cause of a match between the evil and the self-righteous never taking place. The asshole facing the savior never happened but it had nothing to do with the evil but the weakness in the testosterone of the good. It is quite ironic his spine is hurting him since he never had one to begin with. The facts are what a man who has made his life killing myths is about to make clear.
The myth has been uttered by several including the former world champion Colt and the Terror Dome winner himself Matthew Slater. The myth is that the match did not take place due to termination of a contract for expected services. That could not be further from the truth. The end of the legacy of Matt Slater happened at the Justice he is thinks he has been absolved of. He thinks winning terror Dome eradicates the mistake of helping Triple X win. The truth he is ran away to that exact event to avoid a confrontation with pure evil.
Some might think that is a fallacy but hie from the truth and spin it to their own selfish definitions. The contracts had the ink on them dried. It was supposed to happen but Slater got cold feet. It had nothing to do with physical punishment. Mr. Slater is a tough son of a bitch. He can take a beating like few in this business ever have. His weakness of constitution came internally. The man was afraid of being exposed. He knew only one man knew the truth about his lack of balls. He knew that each and every thing that was uttered from the mouth of pure evil was a fact. Those facts were indisputable. He knew that if he was exposed the name he had carve out for himself would mean less than a Valora Salinas bottle of empty tequila. His fear drove him to break the contract and more importantly his word.
The promise weaved from the mouth of a hypocrite meant nothing. The man whose words are completely and utterly useless was broken. A man is only as good as his word and Mr. Slater’s word is not worth a shit. He signed his name to face a man at Justice, the same Justice he made a mockery of the name he used to pride himself to own. He wants the world to think that an untimely termination stopped the match from happening. If memory serves the mind of the strong and the constitution of the truthful it was a match against Juliette Del Croix that took place. The fact remains that Justice was my playground and not some unemployment line as he would love to be the truth. He ran and hid behind Triple X’s skirt. The man did not have the balls to face the hated. He did not have the constitution to face the truth.
What is the point some might ask. The point is that Matt Slater is full of shit. The point is to point out factual inaccuracies in his false position. The fact of the matter is that Matt Slater is not returned to his former glory for lies still betray his false statements. He will face me in a tag team match this week and still he will fall short of former glory. He won Terror Dome and nothing can change that. He still has not stepped into the ring with his tormentor one on one. Until he vanquishes his fear he will remain a shell of a man.
The thoughts of opportunity lost run through the head of a man with regret. So many questions are being raised and no answers are found. Had a lack of preparation for a massive time change cost this man the opportunity to change a fortune of lost chances? Had emotion drained him of the energy to succeed where in the past failure has been his only companion? The thought of changing destinies were weighing heavily on the mind of the angry. This rage had become a soothing balm to heal him from the horrific iniquities he currently faces.
Was fortune with the spineless that moment rather than the asshole who was ill prepared? Did the tequila swilling hard core icon have fate turn against her yet again? Only a truthful man can admit that the same hardcore icon shared the same fate and weakness as a man with extreme rage running through his ill-tempered body. The hatred that ran through my veins for Miss Salinas had a lot to do with reminders of self-inflicted failure. Her failure and my own are intertwined with bad intentions for the right reasons.
The seat that was now occupied by the defeated and a man who decimated a former enemy was an uncomfortable one at best. The physical toll taken upon the mortal coil left the weakness of the flesh in constant torment. The man on the other side of the couch was left in constant wonder about the silence of his long time best friend.
“Phucking hell. Dood! Are you going to say something or sit there with that angry look on your face? You know being pissed off is not going to change anything. If anyone knows how tough it is to win Terror Dome it is me. Besides we got shit to tend to.”
With a shift of weight the pain returned to the core of the sternum. Each part of a weakened body caused pain. Even sitting with the back on the cushion caused the burn on the skin to irritate a red core. A yelp in pain followed as the man sitting on the couch got some thrill out of it.
“FUCK! God damn it I know we have that Tag Team match we challenged the entire NEW Edge culture to and we have takers. Granted they are idiots for even trying to match the greatest tag team on planet Earth in the ring. They are going to find out the time for bragging about it is over and the time for proving it once again is upon us. Unstable’s group of idiots are going to find out that the hard way as are United’s own fuck mooks. The Styles Mafia will always rule the tag division. “
“Phuck dood. I realize the type of pain you are in right now because I have felt the sting of Terror Dome a couple of times. Just let me do the heavy lifting and you stand on the apron. Just let me handle it since you have called me the greatest closer in New Edge history.”
He does not understand my feelings for the first time in a long time. There is no way standing on the apron of the ring watching him kick ass is going to satisfy a thirst for blood. Terror Dome did not weaken me as some might think. The truth is the physical body was weakened but resolve for retribution was stronger than ever.
“Do you honestly think that another opportunity to get my hands on Valora Salinas and Matt Slater is going to be wasted? It is another chance to cause those bitches to bleed. You just keep Dathan and Kronin occupied and I got the rest.”
“Dood this worries me. We are a team and that is exactly why we are who in the phuck we are. If you are too busy getting revenge on Slater and focusing on Valora then we could lose.”
A burst of laughter accompanies the prior statement for one half of the greatest tag team to ever live. Johnny seems to be a bit more comfortable with the laughter instead of the dead serious look of resolve that was written across a bandaged face prior to the conversation. The look is one of wonder rather than confidence.
“We are not going to lose to a mismatched thrown together team like either of the ones we face this week. Neither the unstable team or the United team has a shot in hell of beating us. There is no replacement for experience in tag teams. That is why the greatest tag teams in wrestling history remain great even after their skills have eroded. Slater can claim momentum but tag team wrestling is his damned weakness and we both know that. Him and Kronin have about the same shot of Matty Boy telling the damned truth. Dathan and Valora are going to get hurt and that is all there is to it. She will want us to bow down and worship a name that has yet to be earned. Unstable is a great name for that group. When a person is unstable they have a problem grasping reality. The reality is Valora is a failure. Always has been and always will be. Dathan is the same failure but in a different way. Reality bites is a lesson they will soon learn.”
The preparations have been made and the impending arrival is en route. The main reason for this joyous event is that my boss, Jesse has made it a possibility. The woman who gave birth to an enraged lunatic will be arriving at the home soon. Her mangled body would be given a chance to heal with rest and medication.
“Yo, your mom is coming in today, right? She is so damned cool. What the hell happened to you, asshat?”
“I am cool in my own way.”
“If the working definition of cool is to be a total dick then yeah you are cool. So when is she going to be here?”
“Jesse made arrangements since he understood my condition following the match from hell. She is being transported from the airport as we speak. Then we will talk about what all happened last week.”
“Are you going to cry like Roger Wright in the middle of a career melt down again?”
“Probably. If anything my ass is a mamma’s boy. Now shut it bitch.”
‘You are in massive amounts of pain and your mother almost died last week so I will forget you said that as a favor to your mother. Do not do it again.”
"Yes massah!”
As Johnny and I are speaking a vibrating comes from my pocket. No it is not Molly Mayhem’s seventeen inch vibrator which she needs to make a tight fit in that stretched out clam of hers, it is my cell phone going off. The one thing no one wants is to see the lettering S-T-Y-L-E-S comes across a caller ID but that is exactly what is happening. The only choice is to answer and hope he is in a good mood. Being married to that United whore never puts anyone in a good mood so he is cross as usual. The call is put on speaker phone so mi amigo can listen.
“Whaddupp ?”
"This is Jesse Styles not one of your hood rats so address me properly.”
“What the fuck do you want dickhead? Better?”
“No that is not better but it is the closest you are capable of. I wanted to know if the arrangements made for you mother were suitable.”
“I have no idea because like Slater’s balls she is not here yet. But the airport information on the internet says that her flight arrived this morning. She has yet to call but I assume you made transportation arrangements.”
“OF COURSE I MADE FUCKING TRANSPORTATION ARRANGEMENTS! WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I AM?”
‘The dude that has his wife…”
“SERIOUSLY NO MORE SCARLET AND INKT JOKES!”
“Yessuh massah.”
"Actually the situation with her and Inkt is the reason for my damned call you asshole! It seems as if we find it necessary to have a five year anniversary show to celebrate the New Edge dominance of the competition. There is a spot open for a world title match. I know this is of interest to you.”
The bald headed dood was right but the reasoning he had no clue. It is a certainty that he felt as if winning the world title would be of great interest to me and he was half right. The world title would be used as bait. Inkt was a pawn in this match of kings in the chess game of Justice. Slater would not run away if he had the proper motivation to show the fuck up. Check mate bitch!
“Yes this is of great interest to me.”
“Well you know sometimes I scratch your back if you scratch mine. I have a situation I need your help with and I know Johnny is there because you two do not leave each others side especially with a tag title match this week.”
“Whaddupp cuz!”
“Hey Johnny and do not interrupt me again. It seems my empty headed sister needs a favor of me. Seeing as I can pay for your services with services of my own you will handle what needs to be handled to keep family continuity a possibility. You and your boy do me this favor and you get placed in the match you want at the five year anniversary show and you get your title shot.”
“Who do I have to kill?”
“You will be rewarded for not killing anyone. My sister needs someone to watch her three sons. I know your mother is coming to the house but she will not be there for another couple of hours. So if you watch the three demon seeds then I will not have to. They live to see their mother again you get your title shot.”
“Let me see if I have this shit straight. If I do not kill the kids and they are left unharmed I get my shot at Slater?”
“Inkt is the World Champion not Matt Slater.”
“Defeating Inkt will be as easy as defeating Colt. Then Slater will have to face me in the middle of the ring. He will not be able to run and hide as in years past. He will be exposed for the spineless hypocrite I always said he is. Destroying Slater will be my biggest conquest to date. But he needs motivation to step into the ring with me. We have seen how cowardly he is when only his word is given.”
“Inkt will be no easy match.”
“Inkt needs to send my ass a thank you card. I destroyed Colt in the middle of the ring to the point he was emotionally and physically beaten. Hell even Devine could have beaten that Colt after I was done with him. He accomplished nothing.”
“So you will do it?”
“Fuck yeah!”
The phone went dead and there was a knocking at the door. Damned hell that was quicker than a Matt Slater lie. Or a Dathan title reign. Or a Valora choke in a big match. Or a Kronin loss to KOP. Well you get the point. The time to arise and answer it was at hand unfortunately for me the mind was willing but the flesh was extra crispy. Johnny chuckles at me as he gets the door. There was a spring in his step because he had the night off at Kamikaze. Well he faced Roger Wright and anymore that is the same fucking thing.
A woman was at the door with a scowl on her face. It was the same scowl reserved for me by Jesse. There was no mistake this was the sister he spoke of. That cock sucker set me up. Oh well the reward was worth the damned trouble. Well I think it is anyways.
“Are you the miserable bastard that Messy Jesse got to watch my kids? They better be in the same shape as they were left to you in or the shit your wrestling faggots do to you will be nothing compared to the ass kicking you will get from me!”
J and I look at each other and laugh our asses off. MESSY JESSE! I swear to God he will never live this shit down if he lives to be a hundred years old. He could be Yoda and I will still be using that shit. It will be on fuggin t shirts and lunch boxes and shit.
“Maam, I can assure you that I am properly motivated to watch your little bastards. Those Crib Lizards are going to be fine I can tell you that. By the way what is your name?”
“My name is Katie as if it matters. Messy Jesse had better take care of this while I go out shopping or I will punch him right in the face. It will not be the first time I made his ass cry. That dumb bitch he married will have nothing to say about it.”
“You know Scarlet?”
“Of course I know Scarlet. I was at the fucking wedding.”
“You got pictures?”
“Yeah I do but I will have to email them to you. Tell Jesse to God Damned eat something he looks like he lost a hundred pounds.”
“I tell him to eat a dick all the time.”
“Watch the boys and we will not have a problem. They are hurt or some shit and you answer to me. I am not as nice as my little bitch of a brother.”
With that she walked away in a huff. Apparently being a prick runs in the family. I could not wait to see those fuggin wedding pictures. And I could not wait to see MESSY JESSE. Holy fuck he was going to be pissed off.
As their mother walked out the door they all started chanting Thomas in unison over and over again. They refused to stop as this went on for minutes that seemed like years. Finally we turned on the TV. My guess was that Thomas was some fugging cartoon. If the little curtain crawlers sat on their asses and watched a fuggin cartoon this shit was going to be easy. The time would pass fairly quickly and Katie would be back before I knew it. Johnny was texting Jesse to find out what the fuck Thomas was.
He looked at me and told me and FUCK!
“Hunter, Thomas can be found on Net Flicks or Hulu Plus since I know you have no cartoon DVD’s. Put it on there and it is a cartoon where trains have faces or some shit. Beats the phucking shit out of me what it is. Put it on and make them shut up or it is shovel up the ass time.”
With the desperation of Dathan trying to hold a title belt longer than two weeks the X Box 360 is turned on. The green home screen plays and quickly with a few movements on the controller net flicks kids is found. It took forever to scroll through the other shit I would never watch. The chants never ceased and they were getting on whatever nerves my ass had left. Finally an animated train came up and they pointed and yelled into my ear. FUCKING CONCUSSIONS!
With haste the animated creation was clicked on and a graphic was posted. The middle child who was larger than the other two took the damned controller from my hand. Honestly that was the last shit that could be remembered as consciousness took me away and left J alone with the three demon seeds. From memory he played the damned cartoon.
The noise in the room faded away as a glance around saw me as an animated train. Something here was fucked up. This had to be me fading away with the pain killers mi amigo has given to me. Now he was left to deal with them and now animation in train form was what had happened to me. The cheesy ass theme music played and a narrator with a British voice played. It was announced that Matt Slater was the narrator. Having to listen to his lying tongue was enough to make me want to puke.
“Welcome to Slater and Friends. I am your special narrator Matt Slater. The winner of Terror Dome and the Next New Edge Wrestling World Champion. We are here to see Engine Hunter chugging away on the line. He is an ill tempered meanie face who does not get along with the other engines. Engine Valora Especially tends to dislike him. But then she does nothing but crash into things to tell people she is hardcore and tough. She is not a nice engine either.”
“We See Engine Hunter and Engine Valora speaking to Toppum Jesse Asshat. Toppum Jesse Asshat does not appear to be in a happy mood boys and girls.”
The black train is in decent shape but a little outdated on with my animated face on the front of it. The purple train that surrounds Valora’s face is in better shape but it is banged up and twisted due to her trying to prove herself by wrecking herself at every turn only to fail on her goal. They are met by Engine Dathan who is about as clueless as it gets and by engine Kronin who speaks in a German accident. He appears early in the show never to be seen again. Engine Kronin is not good enough to close the show. Dathan only appears in other shows because he is not charismatic enough to get a long run with the show.
“What the hell do you want Toppum Jeese Asshat?”
“You will speak to me correctly or I will have you removed from service Engine Hunter. I have a job for each of you. We need to go three hundred miles down the track with valuable cargo.”
“What is the valuable cargo mister Asshat?”
Of course Dathan sparks up thinking by speaking to Jesse Assumhat in a nice way it will get him some perks and shit. This is typical of his behavior no matter what he says personally. Dathan is a joke that he is the last to get.
“Engine Dathan the five of you will go three hundred miles carrying DVD’s of United and Unstable for sale.”
Of course dickhead Engine Hunter had to say something here. Why the hell would anyone carry worthless shit like that? It is not like Unstable and Untied together could sell a fuggin thing. But a job is a job no matter how shitty that job is.
“Toppum Asshat. Why would anyone carry such worthless cargo? Even if it got there unharmed there is no way anyone would buy crap with those two names on it. Everyone knows Styles Mafia is the only way to go.”
“Engine Hunter I realize that Unstable and Untied are not of value. But I have to do something to keep this line afloat. Styles Mafia can only carry the merch sales for so long. Maybe some idiot will buy this worthless crap. It is not your job to sell that crap, Engine Hunter but simply to deliver it to the station. Maybe I will have Johnny Styles sell it. That dude can sell anything.”
“Now you have your jobs to do and you must work together for the greater good of the New Edge Railway. Each of you has special skills that can make this work. Now get to work, I am not asking I am telling you how it is.”
The narrator comes up once again with that irritating British accent. God even hearing that shit makes me want to punch shit. His prim and proper dialogue makes me want to kill him all over again. Him talking about winning Terror Dome is worse than fingernails on a chalk board.
“The lads are on their prestigious journey to get the job done and the cargo is precious beyond compare. Engine Hunter is doing what Engine Hunter always does and that is to do everything on his own. Unless Engine Johnny is around his teamwork is non-existent. He sees no value in working with those he deems to be unworthy of his talents. Boys and Girls let us watch to see how this all unfolds.”
“Forget those guys. There is no one how even wants this useless crapola. I will do what I have always done and that is carry those five ass hats. I need no help from anyone.”
Engine Hunter chugs away on his own as his wheels chug towards the destination which is the Justice Train Depot. We leave Engine Hunter and are soon joined by Engine Valora. She is speaking to the other engine on the adjoining track Engine Dathan.
“Engine Dathan I know I have failed in the past on an Epic levels in going the distance. This is why we should partner up because you have done the same thing.”
“At least I have gone the distance once unlike you Engine Valora. I was voted by my other engines as the best engine of 2012. You have done nothing but get three quarters of the way there and run out of gas.”
“Engine Dathan what you say is true so I am thinking if we run at half speed we can both get there in time to meet Jesse Toppum Asshat. I mean we made our name on the New Edge Line by going half speed.”
“Engine Valora, seeing as I have no real ideas of my own I will use yours. It makes sense logically as if I even understand the meaning of that word. I say we try going half speed and we do what we do best and that is choke when the glory is on the line. I am sure if we are late no one will care as long as we are there soon.”
The British prick is speaking once again and even in this form he pissed Engine Hunter off. His tone is that of superiority and it makes Engine Hunter want to reach through the damned screen and choke the life out of him. Unfortunately that is no possibility much as there is no possibility of him speaking the truth.
“It appears as if Engine Valora and Engine Dathan have formed an Unstable plan. Knowing them it will never work but history can sometimes change. We now meet Engine Kronin waiting for Engine Slater to arrive. Too bad he is already at the station in front of them all.”
“We all know I will never make it to the end of the show because that would mean I am important to the writers. Slater will probably carry me to whatever time I can get to and still it will not be enough.”
“Boys and Girls he is right. Engine Slater is far superior to all of them at least in his own mind. Engine Hunter is approaching the station while the rest of them are waiting to get out of the station. This is not exactly the shocker of the century as Toppum Jesse Asshat is waiting. He has a smile on his face as he meets Engine Hunter. Let us see what Toppum Asshat has to say.”
“Engine Hunter you got the job done as you always do. You did it your own way and that is fine. Your partner is waiting in the station as Engine Styles got the job done as well. This is no surprise as you have been the pride team of New Edge Railways for some time.”
Engine Hunter chugs to meet his friend in the station with the useless cargo. It is unloaded as Engine Johnny chugs over. He is smoking and calling for Engine Hunter.
“HUNTER! HUNTER! PHUCKING HUNTER!”
With a shake of my head and back to reality my ass comes. For some reason the floor is where my body is found as Johnny is looking down at me. He shakes his damned head at me always. Something happened that is embarrassing but damned if I knew what it was.
“Wake up sunshine!”
“God Damned pain killers.”
“I was there with you at the doctor’s facilities in Japan. They said you are allergic to Vicodin. Seeing as all pain killers have some Vicodin in them you could take none. Doc said you had to tough it out. You damned sure did not take any performance enhancing drugs like Slater did. Unlike Slater your performance does not need enhancing.”
“So mind telling me why the fuck I am on the damned floor.”
“Promise you won’t get pissed.”
“Why is it that every time you make me promise that it turns out that is exactly what happens? What the fuck happened?”
“Well do you remember Katie, Jesse’s sister?”
“Kind of we were watching her demon seed.”
“Well you kind of got a little mouthy when she called us wrestling homos or queers or faggots or whatever. DO you remember that?”
“Well I remember calling us faggots so what?”
“Well you kind of retorted in the typical Hunter fashion by insulting her where it hurt. Only this time it hurt you. To quote Fridays…”
YoU GoT KnOcKed ThE PhUcK OuT!!!!!!!!!!!
“You mind repeating that?”
“Hurricane Katie punched you in the face and you were out cold for an hour. Meanwhile I did what I always do and that is have your damned back. I listened to the middle kid repeat the same part of a damned cartoon five hundred times until it sounded like the crap Roger Wright spews. That was total shit.”
‘And?”
“The older one kept telling me he wanted taco salad. Like my ass knows how to make taco salad. What kind of weird ass kid wants salad anyways? That was not the worst of it. The youngest one defiled your bathroom and tossed all of the TP in the toilet like we are going to toss Unstable and United in the toilet.”
“So what you are telling me is that…”
YoU GoT KnOcKeD ouT By A GiRL!!!!!!
“I swear to God Hunter as long as I am breathing you are never going to live this shit down. We all know we are going to beat United and Unstable but I will never stop reminding you of that. KatyDid is going to tell you one thing and that is…”
MaMa SAiD KnOcK U OuT!!!!!!!!!!
“Fuck off J! I mean it shut the hell up.”
Once again my phone is ringing and it is the same asshole that got me into this in the first place. The Styles name appears as he wants some sort of update. Telling him his little sister knocked me out is not something that is desired. Once again it is on speaker phone as Johnny cannot stop laughing.
“I got a call from my little sister and she said something interesting. She actually said two things I never thought I would hear ever. The first being that Johnny Stylez is one hell of a baby sitter. Katie wants Johnny to baby sit for her in the future. The second being that my sister knocked your ass out. Tell me that is true because I will never let you hear the end of it.”
Johnny yells out into the phone his response.
iT Is As TrUe As EnVy Is In ThE PhuCking StylEZ MafiIa Cuz!!!!!!!!!!
“Fuck off J!”
“Hunter I will keep you away from my sister for the time being. We do not want her knocking you out and costing you the strap against Inkt! Maybe I should give Katie the title shot instead. She might knock Inkt the fuck out too. HA!”
“Seriously FUCK YOU BOTH!”
“KatyDid is that youoooo?”
Johnny made the reference to Katie and of course I looked around. Johnny found this widely hilarious as both he and Jesse were laughing their asses off. Fuck that shit I was weak after Terror Dome. I see that bitch again and it is on.
“FUCK OFF Messy Jesse!!!!!”
“Too little Too fucking late, Hunter. There is no way Messy Jesse trumps my little sister knocking you on your ass. “
Johnny laughs heartily at my embarrassment as he and Messy Jesse are having a laugh at my expense. The laugh will be when my ass pins Slater for the 123 after Valentyme. Then those bitches can laugh all they want to.