Post by inkt on Apr 17, 2013 13:38:30 GMT -6
Inkt- Dude, you totally just got a mouth full of kief.... And not the good kind either.
Kief- YEAAAHHHH Bitches! One defense down! ONE! Count it! That's one more then you have for your fancy title belt there Inkt. Hell, and it was a hall of famer, buddy.
Inkt- But... Your belt... It's not legit?
Pugh- It's cool man, let him have it.
Pugh slowly stands up, shaking his head looking to Kief, and then to Inkt. A rather long pause comes over him as he quietly breathes through his nose collecting his thoughts.
Kief- This can't be good.
Inkt turns to look at Pugh once more, a huge brown stain is now residing upon Pugh's shirt, and a batch of Pugh's "ass" juice is on the floor next to a spewing container.
Inkt- Please... Please tell me that's not what I think it is.
Pugh- Got Damn, boy, do i look like the self defecating man to you? I'm not, sir. Kief, you fat little fucker, you made me still my damned pugh juice all over my new shirt, and now it's gonna go to waste all over the floor. You best clean that shit up, boy.
Kief looks to the stained pugh, and then the mess on the ground, and shakes his head.
Kief- Nope. Not gonna do it. I'm the champ. Champs don't clean a damned thing. Inkt's a champ, he's not cleanin shit either. You know what? You, Pugh, aren't a champ. So, based on that, you clean it up. You're the champs' bitch now. Got it?
Inkt- Kief, bud, I... I wouldn't go there if i were you... Seriously, Uh... -
Pugh stands there clenching his jaw once more, breathing more loudly, looking as though he were about to blow his lid at any moment.
Pugh- Inkt, shut up, get changed, we're goin out. Kief. Clean up your fuckin mess, NAO!
Kief- You'd better take the bass outta your voice when you talk to the champ, Pugh. You know that right? You need to respect the belt. Respect the hell out of it. You know what? Im gonna go out and defend my belt somewhere else. Unlike INKT! i'm a true fighting champ!
Kief bullies his way past Pugh thrusting his shoulder into what would be the sternum of Pugh's messy chest. Pugh shakes his head and sighs deeply as he stoops down to pick up his half emptied bottle of Pugh Juice. As Kief walks off laughing to himself with the belt slung over his shoulder, the Bottle briskly moves through the air and strikes him between the shoulder blades, bringing him down to his knees.
Kief- AHHHH! CHAMP DOWN! CHAMP DOWN! You can't pin me, it won't count! You used a foreign object pugh! That's cheating!
Seeing Kief in pain managed to bring a small smile to the lips of Pugh as he made his way into his room. Looking through his closet, he began to gear up for the night. God only knew what was in store for them once they got there, but there's one thing Pugh had learned over time when it came to going out with Inkt. Dress normal. Don't dress too bad ass, cause they might peg ya for something, and don't... DON'T dress nice. That one ends badly when you come across a heard of gays... in a gay club... on gay appreciation night... In a city that allows gay marriage... with buy one get one cosmos. Pugh shudders at the thought, and tosses the messed shirt over the pile of pugh juice on the ground. Hollering out over his shoulder to Inkt, he grasps a shirt.
Pugh- SHOULD I WEAR MAH SOUTHERN SEX SYM-BOL SHIRT TONIGHT?
Inkt responds in a normal voice as he's been standing in the doorway for a moment.
Inkt- I wouldn't.
Pugh jumps back a bit startled.
Pugh- What th- Boy, how long you been there?
Inkt- Not long enough to see you take your pants off yet, but definitely long enough to watch you shimmy out of that ass stained shirt of yours. I still don't understand why the hell you insist on drinking that stuff, man.
Pugh- Why wouldn't I? It's awesome as all hell.
Inkt- Dude, seriously? It looks the same going in as it does coming out. That's not a good thing.
Pugh- Relax, man, when i pitch it to the King... Burger King that is, I'll have it in a better bottle.... Ya know? So people can't actually see what it looks like. Shit, half the stuff people drink comes in something they can't see... You ever wonder what color those energy drinks are?
Inkt- No.
Pugh- Why not?
Inkt- For the same damned reason i wish i hadn't known what Pugh juice looks like, man. Just... Get through the phase already, would ya?
Pugh- Phase? PHASE?! Sir, this is possibly the most epic thing to ever hit the market. How many times have you made a mess while driving when you're trying to eat a burger? Or, you didn't have a cup holder that fit your giant ass drink? Plenty, right? Well check this, no more ketchup stains, no more ice crotch from spilled sody, this is an all in oner, sir. You can drink your burger and your mountain dew, plus, it's got a screw on lid. BOOM! That shit just happened. Mind blown, right?
Inkt- I think i just threw up in the back of my mouth again man, seriously, im supposed to be the one that gets on board with dumb ass ideas, and just beat them the fuck into the ground like hunter does a tired ass joke, but i.. i just can't get behind you on this one, pimp. Sorry.
Pugh- Have you tried it yet? No. No you haven't. So, you best not judge. Period. Okay? I've done some fucked up shit on your behalf, all im askin is, that you take a sippy of this, and call it a day.
Inkt- I take a sippy of that, and I can call it a night. You know damn good and well a sip of that stuff's gonna land me on the shitter for at least the night.
Pugh- Well, it does take a little bit of conditioning. I was thinkin about comin up with some other flavors too, but i didn't wanna get too far ahead of myself, you know?
By this time, Pugh had fully dressed himself, and was turning around to face inkt when suddenly, the bottle hit the floor for the second time of the night. Brown shit spraying all over the floor once more.
Pugh- Boy, what the fuck are you wearing?
Inkt- Well, I figure, you know, we're in Detroit, right?
Pugh- Well, new edge is... Your ass is supposed to be in vegas. Speaking of, how the hell do you still own that joint, you ain't got no money.
Inkt- Shell corporation. Cash... you know stuff like that... Anyways, we're in detroit. Who else comes from detroit?
Pugh- Tigers? Lions? What? I've got all sorts of answers, but i get the feeling i wasn't supposed to answer to begin with.
Inkt- Dude! Eminem, son! You said we was gonna go out tonight, right?
Pugh- Yeah, we're gonna go out, why?
Inkt- Well, I was wondering, could we call this an 8 mile night? Like, where we walk in Em's shoes for the evening? Give me a pull off that pugh juice and I'll be puking in the toilet just like he did before his rap battles. It'll be great!
Pugh- You sayin you, a cold ass honkey, wanna go to a rap battle? Dude, even in the movie, he was the only cracker in that shit... Well, him and his little retarded side kick that looked like he had some sort of... I dunno man. But I do know that we white. We can't rap-
Inkt- Imma go ahead and stop you right there, pugh. You can rap. You're always talkin about how you're new edge's reigning freestyle champ. Shit man, you've got the credentials, why not put em to use?
Pugh- Why don't you shut the fuck up? I beat all sorts of no bodies man. Seriously, it's like coming in third at the special olympics or something, ya know?
Inkt- Why third?
Pugh- Cause... While you may not be the top tard, you're still a tard...
Inkt- That's not very pc.
Pugh- Your face isn't very- Are those fuckin gold chains and shit?
Inkt- Mah bling. Yup. I've got a grill too some where.
Pugh- You literally travel with all this shit?
Inkt- Some times. I collect odds and ends from every city we visit. You know?
Pugh- Something wrong with you, 'champ'.
Inkt- Nah, it's cool man. Seriously, get your gear lookin poppin fresh and shiz, and we gone rock this piece out.
Pugh- None of that made sense.
Inkt- Uh, I'm pretty sure it did, pugh. if you recall, im the one that watches yo mtv raps reruns on you tube, not you.
Pugh- That's just it man. See, the prob- goddammit, fine.
Pugh begins to strip down once more, and put on some different clothes. This time rocking a baggy ass shirt, (yeah its possible when it comes to him), some pants that some how are a couple sizes too big for him, and a big ass hoody.
Inkt- Nice. Nice, playa. Got any tims?
Pugh- What?
Inkt- Tims, timbos... Timberlands. You know?
Pugh- Why in the fuck would i have those?
Inkt- I thought all white people did some where hiding in the closet for these special occasions.
Pugh- Seriously? Nah man, i don't got- But i see you do. Dude, you're a grown ass man, can't you tie your shoe laces?
Inkt- Nah man, im poppin the tongue. Can't tie the mother fucka down, ya know?
As the conversation progressed, pugh slowly started to notice Inkt going through his gangsta phase once more. It was something similar to when he took on Kenneth Isreal back in the day. Pugh had hoped that persona wouldn't make it back, but it did.
Pugh- So, you wanna go wigga'd out, find some sort of rap battling club, then what?
Inkt- Then, i wanna get your big ass on stage. You could be the b rabbit to my meckai phieffer... (sp). Hell, i bet i could even find a weave store and get me some dreads like he had.
Pugh- Please don't.
Inkt- It'd be awesome. Might even find em at a thrift store or something.
Pugh- Dude... Okay, seriously, why aren't you in vegas. I was actually looking forward to not having some sort of misadventure with you for one damned week.
Inkt- We didn't do shit last week, babe.
Pugh- You and I didn't, you're right, and it was kind of nice. No gay clubs, no random ass dildo fights, nothin...
Inkt- And yet, you still got a mouth full of kief.
Pugh- True, but you were present, so i could actually chalk that one up to you. You sure you wanna go through with this?
Inkt- Only if you'll assure me you're gonna get on stage and cut some one down. All you need is one mic, son. One mic.
Pugh- I dun told you, I ain't gonna battle no body. Dude, if you're feelin so damned froggy about it, why don't you jump?
Inkt- Duh...
Pugh- Duh what?
Inkt- Look man, i know you're slow and shit, but incase you haven't noticed, im white.
Pugh takes in a deep ass breath and shakes his head as he looks to Inkt. Goddamn this boy was special at times, and this was to be no different then any other time.
Pugh- Inkt... I'm white as well. There I said it, it's out in the open now.
Inkt- But you're a rap battle champ... And your white, which means you're like 10 times better then any of the black guys doin it. You've got a rep to maintain, sir.
Pugh- what? Stop, right now. Go change. We aren't doing a night of eminem fun. There, i said it. Nope. You dun killed my chi, sir. I'm staying in. It'd be in your best interest to stay in as well. Besides, you honestly think you could just walk into that place with that big ass belt slung over your shoulder?
Inkt- yeah. If not, i'd put it in coat check.
Pugh- Fuck you're about as thick as they get some times, you know that?
Inkt- What? Why?
Pugh- That shit's made up of real ass gold and silver and platinum and diamonds, and all sorts of other shit.
Inkt- For reals? Damn dude, if i'd known that, i'd have stolen the bitch time and time again. I'd be livin phat, son. Rockstar Phat.
Pugh- What... What the hell did you think the belt was made out of?
Inkt- Costume jewels, mostly. So, you're saying i have like, hundreds of thousands of dollars just hanging over my shoulder?
Pugh- Uh, yeah, i think so man. That's a lot- Dude, seriously? You seriously thought it was costume jewelry? Why do you think its the most coveted belt in all of new edge?
Inkt- I thought it was just something we were supposed to act on, you know? Like playing pretend, kinda how colt did with the belt when it was plastic.
Pugh- No, ya dense sum bitch. Dude, why do you think jesse got so damned fired up when he melted that shit down?
Inkt- cause it wasn't his to melt, duh. You can't destroy something you don't actually own, that's just wrong...
Pugh- Don't go all morally correct on me now. All im sayin is, those things aren't cheap to replace, dude. like, not cheap at all. So, now, picture your dumb ass handing that in, or just walking around in public with it, bein all oblivious to everything like kief is all the time. Sooner or later, some one would get bold enough and try to just straight jack you for it.
Inkt- You want my belt?
Pugh- Fuck yeah i want your belt. But, the only time imma take it from you is in the ring.
Inkt- So, your bound by some sort of mystical morals when it comes to title belts? I mean, shit, there's how many belts? Why hasn't some one just stolen them all, then rolled the hell out?
Pugh- Good question.
Inkt- If I wasn't a man of the fans, that sounds like something I'd do. Shit, has hunter even stolen belts?
Pugh- If he has, he isn't very good at it. Can't steal em, can't earn em, and damn sure can't keep em.
The two of them share a laugh as pugh's eyes trace back to the belt on Inkt's shoulder. Inkt notices the glance, and quickly clutches the belt within his hands.
Inkt- Swear you aren't gonna steal this from me? What the shit do i do with it when im sleeping?
Pugh- Wear it, guy.
Inkt- Wear it? What ? Like around my waist?
Pugh- Sure.
By now, Pugh figured since they weren't going out, it might be for the best, seein is how he's gotten inkt very paranoid about the well being of the title belt.
Inkt- But i sleep nekkid.
Pugh- Yeah, unfortunately i know that one now. But all you gotta do, put it around your waist and wear it like a legit belt. Knowing that you sleep nekkid is even better. Seriously, who's gonna break in and take the belt off of a sleeping nekkid guy?
Kief- I would.
he speaks as he enters the room, his belt clad in flakes of chocolate now, as well as various other crumbs.
Inkt- Truth be told, now that i know what they're worth? I would too. Shit, this thing's a curse man. Everyone's gonna come after this belt.
Pugh- Yup, starting with hunter, which is why you should be in vegas. Be among people you can trust, you know? Hell, if i were you i'd even hire some security to escort you around. Get you one of them briefcases that you can put the belt in, and then handcuff that mother fucker to your wrist or something. Total Heat style and shit.
Inkt- You think?
Kief- I would, but handcuffs don't fit me.
Inkt- Fatass.
Kief- Hey, you don't talk to the champ like that, chump. I've got how many title defenses in this one night? Yeah, how many do you have? None. so suck it, inkt. The true champ is here, sir.
Inkt- You think hunter'll try something?
Pugh- Shit yeah, why wouldn't he? Hell, i'd be willing to bet that jesse puts him up to something, cause i mean really, what you've got there is jesse's property, Inkt. Who does jesse run with?
Inkt- The styles mafia.
Pugh- Exactly, and who's in the styles mafia?
Inkt- hunter?
Pugh- Uh huh. So, you have the owner of the belt in a 'mafia' and one of his guys is supposed to fight you for said belt this week, away from anyone else. You know? Just you and him, one on one... in vegas, a mafia run town. you should know that, and im sure you do. Shit's starting to add up now, isn't it?
Inkt- so what you're saying is, this is all a rouse?
Pugh- What? no... Do you even know what that word means?
Inkt- emmanatingly i do.
Pugh- Stop, now. Think about it man, there's some covert shit goin on when it comes to this belt. Me? Im used to it, i've held the belt plenty of times, but you? You on the other hand, this is your first time, and right now, you're an easy target for people like hunter and jesse, and all those other fucks.
Inkt- How am i an easy target for hunter? He's never held the belt, doesn't that mean anything?
Pugh- Yeah, it means that there's now one more person that's been doing this fewer events then he has, and has the belt. The dude's hungry Inkt. I'd sleep with one eye open tonight.
Inkt- Fuck that shit. Where's my gun?
Pugh- WHOA! WHOA! It was a joke man! Shit, settle down, Inkt. I... I was fuckin with ya. The last thing we need is you pluggin holes in your friends thinkin some one's here to take your belt. Come on man... Look, sit down, would ya?
Inkt- NO! you dont tell me what to do! You've already told me enough. Tomorrow, im getting me a task force of mother fuckers who'll watch my back.
Pugh- That's what kief and I are here for... Well, i guess that's what IM here for...
Kief- Yeah, sorry man, i gotta look out for myself, people are gonna wanna get this belt off of me like there's no tomorrow.
Pugh- Yeah, there's that, and the fact that you... DUDE I GOT RAPED BY NINJAS BECAUSE OF YOU KIEF!
Kief- I told you how to defeat 'em.
Inkt- Okay okay okay, so yeah, what happens after I beat hunter?
Pugh- well, like you said as a stipulation, he doesn't get to challenge you for the belt again as long as you have it.
Inkt- but he could still steal it?
Pugh- okay, i can tell this isn't gonna go anywhere until you have your 'task force'
Inkt- Damn right it's not gonna go anywhere. Dude, you need to stay up all night and watch the door while i sleep.
Pugh- Why the hell do i gotta stay up and watch the door?
Inkt- Cause you don't have a title? I thought kief already established that rule earlier on.
Pugh- Fuck you man... Fuck you. Im hungry, you guys hungry?
Inkt- Not if all we have is pugh juice.
Kief- We're out. I drank it all. It was delicious, but there needs to be a dr. pepper flavor also. Hey! I could make a kief juice?
Pugh- No, fatty, this is my thing, keep your hands the fuck outta my kool aid.
Inkt- Ha. Oh, so yeah, dude, I was thinking, you know we've had some pretty epic battles over time you know? Remember when we beat the hell out of hunter and johnny back in the day? When... where the hell were we? I don't know. But for some reason, that just came into my head.
Pugh- Uh... Okay, where's this going?
Inkt- History seems to repeat itself i guess. I should have known then not to trust Johnny, but, i went ahead and did it anyways. I trust him how many times?
Pugh- A couple more then me?
Inkt- I guess, but i what's got me thinkin is, is there anyone in this company that's legit? I mean, how many times has some one fucked over some one else just to get what they want? How many times has some one sucked the proverbial dick to get what they need?
Pugh- What are you getting at?
Inkt- Why's hunter even in this match?
Pugh- Cause you said you'd take anyone on? That being said, jesse can pick and choose who to throw at you without having to go by the whole contendership thing i suppose..
Inkt- i see... So...
Pugh- Just let it go man. I can see the smoke coming out of your ears, dude. Look, imma order some pizza.
Inkt- Sounds good to me... Front me some coin?
Pugh- Wow, there's a shocker. you have all those chains and shit, and no money. go figure.
Inkt- Unlike the belt? This shit? Really is costume jewelry, you can get like a whole set for fiddy bucks online or some shit.
Pugh- You've got fiddy to spend but can't get in on a pizza?
Inkt- Nah, i didn't have fiddy to spend, i got all this shit outta KOP's locker room, man. You know, what i saw when i was in there?
Pugh- I don't think i wanna know.
Inkt- Well, you know how you've got pugh juice and... yeah..
Pugh- What about it?
Inkt- You think there's a company out there that would back a KOP brand of grape soda or something?
Pugh- What... the.... fuck...
Inkt- Did i just fart?
The three of them talk into the wee hours of the morning. Having stayed in may or may not have been the best thing they could have done. Pugh opened Inkt's eyes to the responsibilities of being the world champ. Kief managed to pin both of them three more times that night padding his record of total title defenses. Sometimes, it's just better to stay in. Sometimes, do the unexpected. Could you imagine Inkt or Pugh in the club doing rap battles, and everything like that? Of course you could, which is why they didn't go.
Kief- YEAAAHHHH Bitches! One defense down! ONE! Count it! That's one more then you have for your fancy title belt there Inkt. Hell, and it was a hall of famer, buddy.
Inkt- But... Your belt... It's not legit?
Pugh- It's cool man, let him have it.
Pugh slowly stands up, shaking his head looking to Kief, and then to Inkt. A rather long pause comes over him as he quietly breathes through his nose collecting his thoughts.
Kief- This can't be good.
Inkt turns to look at Pugh once more, a huge brown stain is now residing upon Pugh's shirt, and a batch of Pugh's "ass" juice is on the floor next to a spewing container.
Inkt- Please... Please tell me that's not what I think it is.
Pugh- Got Damn, boy, do i look like the self defecating man to you? I'm not, sir. Kief, you fat little fucker, you made me still my damned pugh juice all over my new shirt, and now it's gonna go to waste all over the floor. You best clean that shit up, boy.
Kief looks to the stained pugh, and then the mess on the ground, and shakes his head.
Kief- Nope. Not gonna do it. I'm the champ. Champs don't clean a damned thing. Inkt's a champ, he's not cleanin shit either. You know what? You, Pugh, aren't a champ. So, based on that, you clean it up. You're the champs' bitch now. Got it?
Inkt- Kief, bud, I... I wouldn't go there if i were you... Seriously, Uh... -
Pugh stands there clenching his jaw once more, breathing more loudly, looking as though he were about to blow his lid at any moment.
Pugh- Inkt, shut up, get changed, we're goin out. Kief. Clean up your fuckin mess, NAO!
Kief- You'd better take the bass outta your voice when you talk to the champ, Pugh. You know that right? You need to respect the belt. Respect the hell out of it. You know what? Im gonna go out and defend my belt somewhere else. Unlike INKT! i'm a true fighting champ!
Kief bullies his way past Pugh thrusting his shoulder into what would be the sternum of Pugh's messy chest. Pugh shakes his head and sighs deeply as he stoops down to pick up his half emptied bottle of Pugh Juice. As Kief walks off laughing to himself with the belt slung over his shoulder, the Bottle briskly moves through the air and strikes him between the shoulder blades, bringing him down to his knees.
Kief- AHHHH! CHAMP DOWN! CHAMP DOWN! You can't pin me, it won't count! You used a foreign object pugh! That's cheating!
Seeing Kief in pain managed to bring a small smile to the lips of Pugh as he made his way into his room. Looking through his closet, he began to gear up for the night. God only knew what was in store for them once they got there, but there's one thing Pugh had learned over time when it came to going out with Inkt. Dress normal. Don't dress too bad ass, cause they might peg ya for something, and don't... DON'T dress nice. That one ends badly when you come across a heard of gays... in a gay club... on gay appreciation night... In a city that allows gay marriage... with buy one get one cosmos. Pugh shudders at the thought, and tosses the messed shirt over the pile of pugh juice on the ground. Hollering out over his shoulder to Inkt, he grasps a shirt.
Pugh- SHOULD I WEAR MAH SOUTHERN SEX SYM-BOL SHIRT TONIGHT?
Inkt responds in a normal voice as he's been standing in the doorway for a moment.
Inkt- I wouldn't.
Pugh jumps back a bit startled.
Pugh- What th- Boy, how long you been there?
Inkt- Not long enough to see you take your pants off yet, but definitely long enough to watch you shimmy out of that ass stained shirt of yours. I still don't understand why the hell you insist on drinking that stuff, man.
Pugh- Why wouldn't I? It's awesome as all hell.
Inkt- Dude, seriously? It looks the same going in as it does coming out. That's not a good thing.
Pugh- Relax, man, when i pitch it to the King... Burger King that is, I'll have it in a better bottle.... Ya know? So people can't actually see what it looks like. Shit, half the stuff people drink comes in something they can't see... You ever wonder what color those energy drinks are?
Inkt- No.
Pugh- Why not?
Inkt- For the same damned reason i wish i hadn't known what Pugh juice looks like, man. Just... Get through the phase already, would ya?
Pugh- Phase? PHASE?! Sir, this is possibly the most epic thing to ever hit the market. How many times have you made a mess while driving when you're trying to eat a burger? Or, you didn't have a cup holder that fit your giant ass drink? Plenty, right? Well check this, no more ketchup stains, no more ice crotch from spilled sody, this is an all in oner, sir. You can drink your burger and your mountain dew, plus, it's got a screw on lid. BOOM! That shit just happened. Mind blown, right?
Inkt- I think i just threw up in the back of my mouth again man, seriously, im supposed to be the one that gets on board with dumb ass ideas, and just beat them the fuck into the ground like hunter does a tired ass joke, but i.. i just can't get behind you on this one, pimp. Sorry.
Pugh- Have you tried it yet? No. No you haven't. So, you best not judge. Period. Okay? I've done some fucked up shit on your behalf, all im askin is, that you take a sippy of this, and call it a day.
Inkt- I take a sippy of that, and I can call it a night. You know damn good and well a sip of that stuff's gonna land me on the shitter for at least the night.
Pugh- Well, it does take a little bit of conditioning. I was thinkin about comin up with some other flavors too, but i didn't wanna get too far ahead of myself, you know?
By this time, Pugh had fully dressed himself, and was turning around to face inkt when suddenly, the bottle hit the floor for the second time of the night. Brown shit spraying all over the floor once more.
Pugh- Boy, what the fuck are you wearing?
Inkt- Well, I figure, you know, we're in Detroit, right?
Pugh- Well, new edge is... Your ass is supposed to be in vegas. Speaking of, how the hell do you still own that joint, you ain't got no money.
Inkt- Shell corporation. Cash... you know stuff like that... Anyways, we're in detroit. Who else comes from detroit?
Pugh- Tigers? Lions? What? I've got all sorts of answers, but i get the feeling i wasn't supposed to answer to begin with.
Inkt- Dude! Eminem, son! You said we was gonna go out tonight, right?
Pugh- Yeah, we're gonna go out, why?
Inkt- Well, I was wondering, could we call this an 8 mile night? Like, where we walk in Em's shoes for the evening? Give me a pull off that pugh juice and I'll be puking in the toilet just like he did before his rap battles. It'll be great!
Pugh- You sayin you, a cold ass honkey, wanna go to a rap battle? Dude, even in the movie, he was the only cracker in that shit... Well, him and his little retarded side kick that looked like he had some sort of... I dunno man. But I do know that we white. We can't rap-
Inkt- Imma go ahead and stop you right there, pugh. You can rap. You're always talkin about how you're new edge's reigning freestyle champ. Shit man, you've got the credentials, why not put em to use?
Pugh- Why don't you shut the fuck up? I beat all sorts of no bodies man. Seriously, it's like coming in third at the special olympics or something, ya know?
Inkt- Why third?
Pugh- Cause... While you may not be the top tard, you're still a tard...
Inkt- That's not very pc.
Pugh- Your face isn't very- Are those fuckin gold chains and shit?
Inkt- Mah bling. Yup. I've got a grill too some where.
Pugh- You literally travel with all this shit?
Inkt- Some times. I collect odds and ends from every city we visit. You know?
Pugh- Something wrong with you, 'champ'.
Inkt- Nah, it's cool man. Seriously, get your gear lookin poppin fresh and shiz, and we gone rock this piece out.
Pugh- None of that made sense.
Inkt- Uh, I'm pretty sure it did, pugh. if you recall, im the one that watches yo mtv raps reruns on you tube, not you.
Pugh- That's just it man. See, the prob- goddammit, fine.
Pugh begins to strip down once more, and put on some different clothes. This time rocking a baggy ass shirt, (yeah its possible when it comes to him), some pants that some how are a couple sizes too big for him, and a big ass hoody.
Inkt- Nice. Nice, playa. Got any tims?
Pugh- What?
Inkt- Tims, timbos... Timberlands. You know?
Pugh- Why in the fuck would i have those?
Inkt- I thought all white people did some where hiding in the closet for these special occasions.
Pugh- Seriously? Nah man, i don't got- But i see you do. Dude, you're a grown ass man, can't you tie your shoe laces?
Inkt- Nah man, im poppin the tongue. Can't tie the mother fucka down, ya know?
As the conversation progressed, pugh slowly started to notice Inkt going through his gangsta phase once more. It was something similar to when he took on Kenneth Isreal back in the day. Pugh had hoped that persona wouldn't make it back, but it did.
Pugh- So, you wanna go wigga'd out, find some sort of rap battling club, then what?
Inkt- Then, i wanna get your big ass on stage. You could be the b rabbit to my meckai phieffer... (sp). Hell, i bet i could even find a weave store and get me some dreads like he had.
Pugh- Please don't.
Inkt- It'd be awesome. Might even find em at a thrift store or something.
Pugh- Dude... Okay, seriously, why aren't you in vegas. I was actually looking forward to not having some sort of misadventure with you for one damned week.
Inkt- We didn't do shit last week, babe.
Pugh- You and I didn't, you're right, and it was kind of nice. No gay clubs, no random ass dildo fights, nothin...
Inkt- And yet, you still got a mouth full of kief.
Pugh- True, but you were present, so i could actually chalk that one up to you. You sure you wanna go through with this?
Inkt- Only if you'll assure me you're gonna get on stage and cut some one down. All you need is one mic, son. One mic.
Pugh- I dun told you, I ain't gonna battle no body. Dude, if you're feelin so damned froggy about it, why don't you jump?
Inkt- Duh...
Pugh- Duh what?
Inkt- Look man, i know you're slow and shit, but incase you haven't noticed, im white.
Pugh takes in a deep ass breath and shakes his head as he looks to Inkt. Goddamn this boy was special at times, and this was to be no different then any other time.
Pugh- Inkt... I'm white as well. There I said it, it's out in the open now.
Inkt- But you're a rap battle champ... And your white, which means you're like 10 times better then any of the black guys doin it. You've got a rep to maintain, sir.
Pugh- what? Stop, right now. Go change. We aren't doing a night of eminem fun. There, i said it. Nope. You dun killed my chi, sir. I'm staying in. It'd be in your best interest to stay in as well. Besides, you honestly think you could just walk into that place with that big ass belt slung over your shoulder?
Inkt- yeah. If not, i'd put it in coat check.
Pugh- Fuck you're about as thick as they get some times, you know that?
Inkt- What? Why?
Pugh- That shit's made up of real ass gold and silver and platinum and diamonds, and all sorts of other shit.
Inkt- For reals? Damn dude, if i'd known that, i'd have stolen the bitch time and time again. I'd be livin phat, son. Rockstar Phat.
Pugh- What... What the hell did you think the belt was made out of?
Inkt- Costume jewels, mostly. So, you're saying i have like, hundreds of thousands of dollars just hanging over my shoulder?
Pugh- Uh, yeah, i think so man. That's a lot- Dude, seriously? You seriously thought it was costume jewelry? Why do you think its the most coveted belt in all of new edge?
Inkt- I thought it was just something we were supposed to act on, you know? Like playing pretend, kinda how colt did with the belt when it was plastic.
Pugh- No, ya dense sum bitch. Dude, why do you think jesse got so damned fired up when he melted that shit down?
Inkt- cause it wasn't his to melt, duh. You can't destroy something you don't actually own, that's just wrong...
Pugh- Don't go all morally correct on me now. All im sayin is, those things aren't cheap to replace, dude. like, not cheap at all. So, now, picture your dumb ass handing that in, or just walking around in public with it, bein all oblivious to everything like kief is all the time. Sooner or later, some one would get bold enough and try to just straight jack you for it.
Inkt- You want my belt?
Pugh- Fuck yeah i want your belt. But, the only time imma take it from you is in the ring.
Inkt- So, your bound by some sort of mystical morals when it comes to title belts? I mean, shit, there's how many belts? Why hasn't some one just stolen them all, then rolled the hell out?
Pugh- Good question.
Inkt- If I wasn't a man of the fans, that sounds like something I'd do. Shit, has hunter even stolen belts?
Pugh- If he has, he isn't very good at it. Can't steal em, can't earn em, and damn sure can't keep em.
The two of them share a laugh as pugh's eyes trace back to the belt on Inkt's shoulder. Inkt notices the glance, and quickly clutches the belt within his hands.
Inkt- Swear you aren't gonna steal this from me? What the shit do i do with it when im sleeping?
Pugh- Wear it, guy.
Inkt- Wear it? What ? Like around my waist?
Pugh- Sure.
By now, Pugh figured since they weren't going out, it might be for the best, seein is how he's gotten inkt very paranoid about the well being of the title belt.
Inkt- But i sleep nekkid.
Pugh- Yeah, unfortunately i know that one now. But all you gotta do, put it around your waist and wear it like a legit belt. Knowing that you sleep nekkid is even better. Seriously, who's gonna break in and take the belt off of a sleeping nekkid guy?
Kief- I would.
he speaks as he enters the room, his belt clad in flakes of chocolate now, as well as various other crumbs.
Inkt- Truth be told, now that i know what they're worth? I would too. Shit, this thing's a curse man. Everyone's gonna come after this belt.
Pugh- Yup, starting with hunter, which is why you should be in vegas. Be among people you can trust, you know? Hell, if i were you i'd even hire some security to escort you around. Get you one of them briefcases that you can put the belt in, and then handcuff that mother fucker to your wrist or something. Total Heat style and shit.
Inkt- You think?
Kief- I would, but handcuffs don't fit me.
Inkt- Fatass.
Kief- Hey, you don't talk to the champ like that, chump. I've got how many title defenses in this one night? Yeah, how many do you have? None. so suck it, inkt. The true champ is here, sir.
Inkt- You think hunter'll try something?
Pugh- Shit yeah, why wouldn't he? Hell, i'd be willing to bet that jesse puts him up to something, cause i mean really, what you've got there is jesse's property, Inkt. Who does jesse run with?
Inkt- The styles mafia.
Pugh- Exactly, and who's in the styles mafia?
Inkt- hunter?
Pugh- Uh huh. So, you have the owner of the belt in a 'mafia' and one of his guys is supposed to fight you for said belt this week, away from anyone else. You know? Just you and him, one on one... in vegas, a mafia run town. you should know that, and im sure you do. Shit's starting to add up now, isn't it?
Inkt- so what you're saying is, this is all a rouse?
Pugh- What? no... Do you even know what that word means?
Inkt- emmanatingly i do.
Pugh- Stop, now. Think about it man, there's some covert shit goin on when it comes to this belt. Me? Im used to it, i've held the belt plenty of times, but you? You on the other hand, this is your first time, and right now, you're an easy target for people like hunter and jesse, and all those other fucks.
Inkt- How am i an easy target for hunter? He's never held the belt, doesn't that mean anything?
Pugh- Yeah, it means that there's now one more person that's been doing this fewer events then he has, and has the belt. The dude's hungry Inkt. I'd sleep with one eye open tonight.
Inkt- Fuck that shit. Where's my gun?
Pugh- WHOA! WHOA! It was a joke man! Shit, settle down, Inkt. I... I was fuckin with ya. The last thing we need is you pluggin holes in your friends thinkin some one's here to take your belt. Come on man... Look, sit down, would ya?
Inkt- NO! you dont tell me what to do! You've already told me enough. Tomorrow, im getting me a task force of mother fuckers who'll watch my back.
Pugh- That's what kief and I are here for... Well, i guess that's what IM here for...
Kief- Yeah, sorry man, i gotta look out for myself, people are gonna wanna get this belt off of me like there's no tomorrow.
Pugh- Yeah, there's that, and the fact that you... DUDE I GOT RAPED BY NINJAS BECAUSE OF YOU KIEF!
Kief- I told you how to defeat 'em.
Inkt- Okay okay okay, so yeah, what happens after I beat hunter?
Pugh- well, like you said as a stipulation, he doesn't get to challenge you for the belt again as long as you have it.
Inkt- but he could still steal it?
Pugh- okay, i can tell this isn't gonna go anywhere until you have your 'task force'
Inkt- Damn right it's not gonna go anywhere. Dude, you need to stay up all night and watch the door while i sleep.
Pugh- Why the hell do i gotta stay up and watch the door?
Inkt- Cause you don't have a title? I thought kief already established that rule earlier on.
Pugh- Fuck you man... Fuck you. Im hungry, you guys hungry?
Inkt- Not if all we have is pugh juice.
Kief- We're out. I drank it all. It was delicious, but there needs to be a dr. pepper flavor also. Hey! I could make a kief juice?
Pugh- No, fatty, this is my thing, keep your hands the fuck outta my kool aid.
Inkt- Ha. Oh, so yeah, dude, I was thinking, you know we've had some pretty epic battles over time you know? Remember when we beat the hell out of hunter and johnny back in the day? When... where the hell were we? I don't know. But for some reason, that just came into my head.
Pugh- Uh... Okay, where's this going?
Inkt- History seems to repeat itself i guess. I should have known then not to trust Johnny, but, i went ahead and did it anyways. I trust him how many times?
Pugh- A couple more then me?
Inkt- I guess, but i what's got me thinkin is, is there anyone in this company that's legit? I mean, how many times has some one fucked over some one else just to get what they want? How many times has some one sucked the proverbial dick to get what they need?
Pugh- What are you getting at?
Inkt- Why's hunter even in this match?
Pugh- Cause you said you'd take anyone on? That being said, jesse can pick and choose who to throw at you without having to go by the whole contendership thing i suppose..
Inkt- i see... So...
Pugh- Just let it go man. I can see the smoke coming out of your ears, dude. Look, imma order some pizza.
Inkt- Sounds good to me... Front me some coin?
Pugh- Wow, there's a shocker. you have all those chains and shit, and no money. go figure.
Inkt- Unlike the belt? This shit? Really is costume jewelry, you can get like a whole set for fiddy bucks online or some shit.
Pugh- You've got fiddy to spend but can't get in on a pizza?
Inkt- Nah, i didn't have fiddy to spend, i got all this shit outta KOP's locker room, man. You know, what i saw when i was in there?
Pugh- I don't think i wanna know.
Inkt- Well, you know how you've got pugh juice and... yeah..
Pugh- What about it?
Inkt- You think there's a company out there that would back a KOP brand of grape soda or something?
Pugh- What... the.... fuck...
Inkt- Did i just fart?
The three of them talk into the wee hours of the morning. Having stayed in may or may not have been the best thing they could have done. Pugh opened Inkt's eyes to the responsibilities of being the world champ. Kief managed to pin both of them three more times that night padding his record of total title defenses. Sometimes, it's just better to stay in. Sometimes, do the unexpected. Could you imagine Inkt or Pugh in the club doing rap battles, and everything like that? Of course you could, which is why they didn't go.