Post by Deleted on Apr 17, 2013 17:14:25 GMT -6
I stood staring at the various snack cakes and cookies in front of me. If the future...I go to the grocery store THEN smoke a bowl. I couldn't tell you how long I stood staring at that brunette bitch smiling at me from the front of the box of Zebra Cakes. It wasn't that I couldn't decide which snacks to get...I was trying to decide whether or not I could justify buying $80 worth of snacky cakes when I need to pay rent and buy weed for the next three days. I decided to throw caution to the wind and tore the box of Swiss Cake Rolls open. I stuck my tongue out at Little Debbie's face on the floor and tore a package of the snacks open with my teeth. I threw the opened box into my basket, grabbed a bag of sea salt and cracked black pepper kettle cooked chips, and three 2-liters of Dr. Pepper. I meandered around and grabbed the rest of the stuff I needed, which included Visine, a bag of apples, and six packages of the mini-Twix bars. I made my way up to the U-Scan and started scanning my items. The attendant was watching me like a hawk...apparently you can't walk into a store with your hood up and your sunglasses on without someone thinking your going to rob them or steal some shit. I pulled my glasses down over just so you can see my eyes and looked in the direction of the attendant.
I'm not sure WHAT you're staring at, but how about instead of staring you go get me a pack of wraps and some Pall Mall whites...
He snapped out of whatever trance my ass or tits put him in and walked over to the tobacco counter. He came back with my papers, a pouch of tobacco, and my smokes. I raised my eyebrows at him...
I didn't say anything about tobacco...
Well...usually when people buy the rolling papers, they buy tobacco too...
I don't need the tobacco...
Well...what do you need the papers for?
Jesus Christ...this poor sheltered soul...I bet he's Mormon...
Do you ask a man purchasing a gallon of Vaseline, a box of Magnums, a cucumber, and some gerbil food what he's going to do with it?
No,but-
And why don't you?
He thought for a moment...more like 5 minutes, but I'm high as fuck and I'm going to prove a point...plus I have no where to be for a while so I'm committing to this shit...
Need a hint?
Ma'am, you're holding up the li-
No I'm not...why don't you ask a man with a cart full of items like that what he plans to do with it?
Uhm...because....
Say it with me "because its none of my goddamn business"...very good! Now...why would asking me why I need rolling papers but not tobacco be an inappropriate question?
B-because it's none of my goddamn business?
I patted his cheek and pushed my glasses back up to cover my eyes...
And they say you don't have to be smart to be a cashier...
I swiped my card through the card reader, grabbed my receipt and bags, and headed towards the door...
Ohhhhh!!! They're for smoking marijuana!!
I rolled my eyes as I tore open another set of Swiss Cake Rolls to devour...wondering if maybe I was too hard on Joesph Smith Jr...once I got to the car, I opened my glovebox, pulled out my bag of Green Goodness and began rolling a blunt for the drive home. Once the roll was nice and tight, I light the end and inhaled deeply...I started the car and exhaled, feeling the sweet, piney smoke fill my lungs and smiling as a feeling of euphoria spread through my body...
The greatest minds of our age often smoked weed before getting behind the wheel of a car...
Shut up...it'll hit you in a minute...
Just like the semi when you drift across the median...
Haw haw haw...
I cracked open one of my bottles of soda and took a big gulp...
Sweet nectar of life..
You said that yesterday about Big Mac sauce...
That was yesterday's sweet nectar of life...today it's Dr. Pepper...
I inhaled as deeply as I could, held the smoke, and then blew it out slowly. I finished my blunt a few puffs later then lit a cigarette and began backing out of my parking space. Luckily it wasn't too far from my apartment.
After I had lugged the two bags of crap, my purse, and a paper bag of a half eaten bag of McDonalds up two flights of stairs, I started fighting with my keys. Once I slipped them in the lock, I heard a door open behind me. I tried to mask my sigh of exasperation with a cough...
Well look who it is...
Hello Mrs. Sloan...how are you today?
My arthritis is acting up and Mitsy took a dump on my brand new white couch...but God only gives us good days so I can't complain...
Well thats no good...if you'll excuse me I hav-
Have you found God, Ophelia dear?
Yea...and if he could help me find a gun to shoot myself right now that would be fabulous...
You know, Mrs. Sloan, I've never really thought about it, but I need-
Well honey, the sooner you find him, the sooner he can forgive you for your whoreish ways...
Goddamn...old people suck...
I'll keep that in mind...thanks Mrs. Sloan...have a great day!
I turned the knob on my door when I felt her hand on me. I flinched slightly...this old bat better be glad my senses are numb right now...
I just wanted you to know that God's always ready for you, honey...and if that man in there murders you tonight, you better be sure that during coitus, you beg for his forgiveness should that man asphyxiate you...
What she was saying wasn't making any sense...even under the influence, I knew that there shouldn't be anyone in my apartment...
What do you mean 'that man in your apartment'? Is there someone in there?
Oh yes dear...he's rude and I think he's drunk...
Well how did he get in?!
I don't know dear...maybe he found your spare key hidden in the plant at the end of the hall?
My brain was on overload...who the fu-
How did he find me?
I'd better go...I don't want to be a witness to your murder sweetie...
Well...thanks for caring? But I think I'll be fine...
She backed into her apartment and locked pretty much every lock on the door. I think I heard her 80 year old ass drag her dining room table across the floor and barricade the door just before Days Of Lives began blaring at 4000 decibels...
I took a deep breath and tried to clear my head before I turned the knob and opened the door. My breath caught in my chest when I saw him sitting on my couch, looking exactly as I had remembered him...
What are you doing here?
He leaned back and put his feet up on my coffee table...
We need to talk...
About six hours later, I was shutting the door behind him. I pressed my back against the door for a moment because my knees were still like Jell-O. I realized I had forgotten to put my pants back on and I was still wearing his t-shirt. I wasn't sure if I was hoping he'd be back for it or not, but one thing was for sure...he did something for my heart that no one ever seemed to be able to.
I cleaned up the glasses and paper plates sitting on my coffee table before going back into my bedroom. I picked up my favorite pipe, cleaned and packed it, then light it. I took a deep hit and leaned back against my pillows with my eyes closed. I was replaying the nights events in my head getting myself excited all over again. I took another toke of my pipe trying to concentrate on something other than his disco stick. He had asked me why I decided to come back...what I wanted out of it this time...who I wanted to be after I got reacquainted with the ring? I couldn't give him concrete answers that I knew he wanted, but after some time to think about it, I think I had answers for his questions...
Why did I decide to come back? Was it because I was tired of my security gig? Was I tired of being behind the scenes when I was so used to being the center of attention? Was I hungry for blood again?
I came back because I truly missed NEW...I missed the lights, I missed the crowd, and goddammit...I missed the competition. I missed climbing into the ring with someone that wanted to rip your fucking throat out one minute and then, in most cases, offered to take you out for a beer the next. I missed hanging out with people I knew I would be friends with for the rest of my life. Again...in most cases.
Wrestling made me happy...happier than I thought anything ever could...it brought me my Misfits and a sense of family I had been searching for since I was a child. It brought me heartache and misery and frustration...humiliation more than anything else.
So why would I put myself through this shit again...because this shit is a part of me. Few people have been in and out of this for as long as I have and I can't imagine doing or trying anything else...
That's why I put myself through this...that's why I suffer through the broken bones, bloodied body, and broken hearts...fighting through all of this is what keeps me going...it's what keeps me sane...
Yea...totally sane...
I rolled my eyes and hit my pipe again. I thought about the competition. As I had seen it so far, I wasn't impressed. I found out that I was being thrown into a big opening match with precisely the people that had failed to impress me. I wasn't sure how I should take it...I know eventually I'll be a champion and that first I must climb that mountain of low carders first.
Its a good thing I brought my climbing gear...I just had to focus on not allowing anything to cloud my mind...friendships, allies, enemies........relationships...
I took one more hit off my pipe and set it on my nightstand. I pulled my blanket up and over my head. I smiled widely before yawning and closing my eyes...
Nothing made me happier than the thrill of competition...and if anything, that's what I missed the most about wrestling. Anyone that thinks they can walk away from this and be able to stay away is fooling them self. This game was nothing short of amazing and even the most heartless of competitors couldn't deny that...
I love this life...I love traveling and sleeping in the backseat of a van wrapped up in my dirty clothes because I can't afford to get a hotel room or buy a fucking blanket. I love the fans that bring their kids backstage and tell me that my match was the highlight of their night.
I fully intend on making this rumble the highlight of the next Ignite. 23 people enter the ring with one victor...one person out of 23 will walk out of this match a winner...
22 losers...
1 winner...
And that winner will be this crazy bitch and all the voices in her head...
Jealous? Intimidated?
Good...you should be...
I'm not sure WHAT you're staring at, but how about instead of staring you go get me a pack of wraps and some Pall Mall whites...
He snapped out of whatever trance my ass or tits put him in and walked over to the tobacco counter. He came back with my papers, a pouch of tobacco, and my smokes. I raised my eyebrows at him...
I didn't say anything about tobacco...
Well...usually when people buy the rolling papers, they buy tobacco too...
I don't need the tobacco...
Well...what do you need the papers for?
Jesus Christ...this poor sheltered soul...I bet he's Mormon...
Do you ask a man purchasing a gallon of Vaseline, a box of Magnums, a cucumber, and some gerbil food what he's going to do with it?
No,but-
And why don't you?
He thought for a moment...more like 5 minutes, but I'm high as fuck and I'm going to prove a point...plus I have no where to be for a while so I'm committing to this shit...
Need a hint?
Ma'am, you're holding up the li-
No I'm not...why don't you ask a man with a cart full of items like that what he plans to do with it?
Uhm...because....
Say it with me "because its none of my goddamn business"...very good! Now...why would asking me why I need rolling papers but not tobacco be an inappropriate question?
B-because it's none of my goddamn business?
I patted his cheek and pushed my glasses back up to cover my eyes...
And they say you don't have to be smart to be a cashier...
I swiped my card through the card reader, grabbed my receipt and bags, and headed towards the door...
Ohhhhh!!! They're for smoking marijuana!!
I rolled my eyes as I tore open another set of Swiss Cake Rolls to devour...wondering if maybe I was too hard on Joesph Smith Jr...once I got to the car, I opened my glovebox, pulled out my bag of Green Goodness and began rolling a blunt for the drive home. Once the roll was nice and tight, I light the end and inhaled deeply...I started the car and exhaled, feeling the sweet, piney smoke fill my lungs and smiling as a feeling of euphoria spread through my body...
The greatest minds of our age often smoked weed before getting behind the wheel of a car...
Shut up...it'll hit you in a minute...
Just like the semi when you drift across the median...
Haw haw haw...
I cracked open one of my bottles of soda and took a big gulp...
Sweet nectar of life..
You said that yesterday about Big Mac sauce...
That was yesterday's sweet nectar of life...today it's Dr. Pepper...
I inhaled as deeply as I could, held the smoke, and then blew it out slowly. I finished my blunt a few puffs later then lit a cigarette and began backing out of my parking space. Luckily it wasn't too far from my apartment.
After I had lugged the two bags of crap, my purse, and a paper bag of a half eaten bag of McDonalds up two flights of stairs, I started fighting with my keys. Once I slipped them in the lock, I heard a door open behind me. I tried to mask my sigh of exasperation with a cough...
Well look who it is...
Hello Mrs. Sloan...how are you today?
My arthritis is acting up and Mitsy took a dump on my brand new white couch...but God only gives us good days so I can't complain...
Well thats no good...if you'll excuse me I hav-
Have you found God, Ophelia dear?
Yea...and if he could help me find a gun to shoot myself right now that would be fabulous...
You know, Mrs. Sloan, I've never really thought about it, but I need-
Well honey, the sooner you find him, the sooner he can forgive you for your whoreish ways...
Goddamn...old people suck...
I'll keep that in mind...thanks Mrs. Sloan...have a great day!
I turned the knob on my door when I felt her hand on me. I flinched slightly...this old bat better be glad my senses are numb right now...
I just wanted you to know that God's always ready for you, honey...and if that man in there murders you tonight, you better be sure that during coitus, you beg for his forgiveness should that man asphyxiate you...
What she was saying wasn't making any sense...even under the influence, I knew that there shouldn't be anyone in my apartment...
What do you mean 'that man in your apartment'? Is there someone in there?
Oh yes dear...he's rude and I think he's drunk...
Well how did he get in?!
I don't know dear...maybe he found your spare key hidden in the plant at the end of the hall?
My brain was on overload...who the fu-
How did he find me?
I'd better go...I don't want to be a witness to your murder sweetie...
Well...thanks for caring? But I think I'll be fine...
She backed into her apartment and locked pretty much every lock on the door. I think I heard her 80 year old ass drag her dining room table across the floor and barricade the door just before Days Of Lives began blaring at 4000 decibels...
I took a deep breath and tried to clear my head before I turned the knob and opened the door. My breath caught in my chest when I saw him sitting on my couch, looking exactly as I had remembered him...
What are you doing here?
He leaned back and put his feet up on my coffee table...
We need to talk...
About six hours later, I was shutting the door behind him. I pressed my back against the door for a moment because my knees were still like Jell-O. I realized I had forgotten to put my pants back on and I was still wearing his t-shirt. I wasn't sure if I was hoping he'd be back for it or not, but one thing was for sure...he did something for my heart that no one ever seemed to be able to.
I cleaned up the glasses and paper plates sitting on my coffee table before going back into my bedroom. I picked up my favorite pipe, cleaned and packed it, then light it. I took a deep hit and leaned back against my pillows with my eyes closed. I was replaying the nights events in my head getting myself excited all over again. I took another toke of my pipe trying to concentrate on something other than his disco stick. He had asked me why I decided to come back...what I wanted out of it this time...who I wanted to be after I got reacquainted with the ring? I couldn't give him concrete answers that I knew he wanted, but after some time to think about it, I think I had answers for his questions...
Why did I decide to come back? Was it because I was tired of my security gig? Was I tired of being behind the scenes when I was so used to being the center of attention? Was I hungry for blood again?
I came back because I truly missed NEW...I missed the lights, I missed the crowd, and goddammit...I missed the competition. I missed climbing into the ring with someone that wanted to rip your fucking throat out one minute and then, in most cases, offered to take you out for a beer the next. I missed hanging out with people I knew I would be friends with for the rest of my life. Again...in most cases.
Wrestling made me happy...happier than I thought anything ever could...it brought me my Misfits and a sense of family I had been searching for since I was a child. It brought me heartache and misery and frustration...humiliation more than anything else.
So why would I put myself through this shit again...because this shit is a part of me. Few people have been in and out of this for as long as I have and I can't imagine doing or trying anything else...
That's why I put myself through this...that's why I suffer through the broken bones, bloodied body, and broken hearts...fighting through all of this is what keeps me going...it's what keeps me sane...
Yea...totally sane...
I rolled my eyes and hit my pipe again. I thought about the competition. As I had seen it so far, I wasn't impressed. I found out that I was being thrown into a big opening match with precisely the people that had failed to impress me. I wasn't sure how I should take it...I know eventually I'll be a champion and that first I must climb that mountain of low carders first.
Its a good thing I brought my climbing gear...I just had to focus on not allowing anything to cloud my mind...friendships, allies, enemies........relationships...
I took one more hit off my pipe and set it on my nightstand. I pulled my blanket up and over my head. I smiled widely before yawning and closing my eyes...
Nothing made me happier than the thrill of competition...and if anything, that's what I missed the most about wrestling. Anyone that thinks they can walk away from this and be able to stay away is fooling them self. This game was nothing short of amazing and even the most heartless of competitors couldn't deny that...
I love this life...I love traveling and sleeping in the backseat of a van wrapped up in my dirty clothes because I can't afford to get a hotel room or buy a fucking blanket. I love the fans that bring their kids backstage and tell me that my match was the highlight of their night.
I fully intend on making this rumble the highlight of the next Ignite. 23 people enter the ring with one victor...one person out of 23 will walk out of this match a winner...
22 losers...
1 winner...
And that winner will be this crazy bitch and all the voices in her head...
Jealous? Intimidated?
Good...you should be...