Post by Deleted on Apr 18, 2013 14:42:25 GMT -6
What a relief! With all the recent goings on in his young life, The Son of PsYcho hadn't had a night to relax in well over two months. How nice it would be to spend an evening watching hockey with his only friend in the NEW: Jacob Neal. Nevermind the fact that he didn't know jack shit about the game.....
Blitz Price was born and raised in Amarillo, Texas, folks. In Texas, football and wrestling are king! Especially in Amarillo: the hometown of the legendary Funk family. Although Blitz jumped at their invitation to be the third wheel on Jacob and Alisha's date, he'd never even watched a hockey game on television before. His entire life to this point had been consumed by his one true love: football.
As they made their way through the grandstands at Joe Louis Arena, Blitz couldn't help but try and take in the atmosphere as he limped toward his seat.
"Bro, are you okay? The gym wasn't that rough today, was it?"
"Naah, man! It's my.....well, there is a lady present."
"Your balls, right?"
"Yeah. I've been pissing blood ever since that crazy bitch blindsided me the other night! Not to mention my head, bro."
"What's going on with your head?"
"These damn concussions, man. Those sledgehammer shots sure didn't help matters any."
"You've got to take care of yourself, partner: like you said, we HAVE to win this week!"
"Damn right!! Forget the fact that Bobby Backdoor and Jason Scene are TEW Legends! I say that they're one Goal Line Stand and three seconds away from being the signature win that jumpstarts our careers!"
The two tag partners stood in silent respect and covered their hearts as 'The Star Spangled Banner' began to play signalling that the game was about to start. In just a few moments, Blitz was about to be introduced to Canada's national pastime but his only thought was Molly Mayhem.
How could someone so beautiful be so damn PsYchotiC?
What is it going to take to smooth things over with that bitch so that he can get back to the business at hand: taking out the Styles Mafia and finding his father.
"Okay bro, they're skating out to the center of the ice to face off, and then we'll see who gets possession first."
"Bro?? That's the weirdest looking ball I've ever seen in my life!"
"It's called a PUCK, Blitz."
"A Puck? Gotcha."
"You really DON'T know anything about hockey, do you?"
"Not a thing. In Texas man, it's just not that big of a deal. We even have a team in Dallas, but nobody really cares."
"Sad. Hockey is our national pastime, bro. You really have to give it a chance."
"I'm just glad to have an evening out with friends."
"You know, Michael?" Alisha chimed in. "I think we need to find you a nice girl. We have plenty of friends your age back in Canada that you'd just----"
"Thanks, Alisha, but no thanks. I don't mean any disrespect, but ever since that night, there is only one wom--"
"Dude, FORGET MOLLY!!! You're just going to get yourself hurt............and I don't mean emotionally!! That crazy bitch just tried to bash in your skull and rip your balls off with vice grips!!!"
"I know, but she's....."
"Don't even SAY it!!!"
Trying to change the subject, Jacob brought up their upcoming match.
"You know, come Sunday night we'll be right back at this very building................the ring will be right down there about center ice, and we'll be squaring off against----"
"Scene and Backdoor. Look bromigo, I know Jason Scene is a big deal in Canada and I'll be the first to admit that he's accomplished quite a bit; being TEW's last Continental Champion for one thing. However, I did have the displeasure of meeting him about two years ago....."
"REALLY?!?!?!?! What was he like? How'd you meet him???"
"Well, he and my dad were running together in DHS and well, I met him backstage at a show."
"And?"
"Well, I'm no Proctology major, but I do know an asshole when I see one. There was always animosity between him and dad, but somehow Triple X kept them in line."
"Why wouldn't Scene like your dad?"
"Well, they say that Scene is a wrestling purist and that he absolutely despised dad's hardcore style. The fact that dad beat him TWICE doesn't help matters any."
"Dude, you're making my childhood hero sound like a total douchenozzle."
"Just wait until you meet him this weekend. You'll see it firsthand."
"Well, what about his partner? Sure, he's been around a couple of weeks, but I honestly haven't met him yet."
"Neither have I, bro. But here's a word of advice: win or lose Sunday night, be in and out of the shower before he gets in there!"
"Now!!! That's VERY homophobic of you!" a seemingly offended Alisha snapped at him.
"No, it's nothing like that! It's the year 2013 and I don't judge anyone: what he does in his bedroom is his business. But let's face facts: as many gay porno movies as he claims to have been in, I'll bet he has more crabs than a seafood buffet!"
"We REALLY need to find you a date next time, bro!!!"
"Just as long as it's Molly Mayhem, go for it!!!"
"HOLY SHIT!!! WHAT A BODYCHECK!!!"
"Ummm.............what's a body check?"
"Nevermind...........OH DAMN!!! Todd Bertuzzi looks pissed!!! Here they go!!!"
Right in the center of the ice, Red Wings Right Wingman Todd Bertuzzi threw down his stick and began speed skating toward The Maple Leafs Defenseman and the crowd began to go apeshit!!
"KICK HIS ASS, BERTUZZI!!! SEND HIM BACK TO CANADA IN A BODYBAG!!! THAT SHIT DON'T FLY HERE IN THE USA!!!! USA! U-S-A!!!"
"BLITZ!!! SETTLE DOWN!!!!
"What's the problem, bromigo? I'm just trying to get into the game?"
"Well first off, I'M CANADIAN unless you've forgotten! Second of all, we're sitting in the VISITORS section!!! And if that wasn't bad enough, Bertuzzi and the Defenseman he's beating the shit out of are both Canadian, too!!! Bro, MOST of the players in the NHL are Canadian!!!!"
"Chill, chill......my bad, man. I'm sorry, it's like I said: I know jack shit about hockey!!"
"It's okay, man. I'm glad you came out with us tonight. Say, what's the latest on your dad?"
"Well, I've tracked his last known whereabouts to a boat anchored twelve miles off the coast of Cuba. Now it's just a matter of finding a way to go in and get him."
"Have you thought about hiring some mercenaries?"
"It'd be worth a shot. Do you know any?"
"Nope. You?"
"Dude, why do you think I asked you first???"
As the game progressed toward the intermission, Blitz got up and walked toward the concession stand. The game was still deadlocked at 0 and still didn't make a lot of sense to him, but he was surprisingly having the time of his life. It had, after all, been a couple of months since he'd had a night out. It had been either football practice, wrestling, school, studying, rinse and repeat up until a couple of weeks ago. The meddling Jesse Styles had apparently blackmailed Coach Jones into kicking him off the team despite all of his hard work. The fact that some skank that called herself Sparkles had became obsessed with him didn't help matters either. It was just a random fatass bitch that he took to a pig party over at the Delta House.......
After he was about halfway through a seven dollar flat beer, he saw something that would shake things up.....
"JACOB!!!!!"
Blitz dropped his overpriced beer right in the middle of the hallway and began running back to his seat....
"JACOB!!! JACOB!!!"
"WHAT?!?!?! WHAT'S WRONG!?!?!?!"
"I just saw.......I just saw Bobby Backdoor with a purple elephant bent over the counter!! He was just assfucking the dogshit out of it!!!"
"BRO!!!! You need to relax!!! I think you've got some post concussion syndrome or something. I'm no doctor, but you've got to be seeing things!!!"
"You're right.....there's NO WAY that was real!!!But, it is Bobby Backdoor we're talking about here!!"
"So, did I miss anything?"
"Not at all: the third period is just getting started....."
"Three periods huh?"
"Bro, Alisha's sitting RIGHT HERE!!! Let's not go there!!!"
"You're right......too easy."
Thus, Jacob, and Alisha sat and cheered the Maple Leafs on as the game began to wind down. Blitz, on the other hand, tried his best to blend in and enjoy himself even though he was still oblivious as to what was going on down on the ice.
UNTIL THAT DAY..........UNTIL ALL ARE ONE!!!
Blitz Price was born and raised in Amarillo, Texas, folks. In Texas, football and wrestling are king! Especially in Amarillo: the hometown of the legendary Funk family. Although Blitz jumped at their invitation to be the third wheel on Jacob and Alisha's date, he'd never even watched a hockey game on television before. His entire life to this point had been consumed by his one true love: football.
As they made their way through the grandstands at Joe Louis Arena, Blitz couldn't help but try and take in the atmosphere as he limped toward his seat.
"Bro, are you okay? The gym wasn't that rough today, was it?"
"Naah, man! It's my.....well, there is a lady present."
"Your balls, right?"
"Yeah. I've been pissing blood ever since that crazy bitch blindsided me the other night! Not to mention my head, bro."
"What's going on with your head?"
"These damn concussions, man. Those sledgehammer shots sure didn't help matters any."
"You've got to take care of yourself, partner: like you said, we HAVE to win this week!"
"Damn right!! Forget the fact that Bobby Backdoor and Jason Scene are TEW Legends! I say that they're one Goal Line Stand and three seconds away from being the signature win that jumpstarts our careers!"
The two tag partners stood in silent respect and covered their hearts as 'The Star Spangled Banner' began to play signalling that the game was about to start. In just a few moments, Blitz was about to be introduced to Canada's national pastime but his only thought was Molly Mayhem.
How could someone so beautiful be so damn PsYchotiC?
What is it going to take to smooth things over with that bitch so that he can get back to the business at hand: taking out the Styles Mafia and finding his father.
"Okay bro, they're skating out to the center of the ice to face off, and then we'll see who gets possession first."
"Bro?? That's the weirdest looking ball I've ever seen in my life!"
"It's called a PUCK, Blitz."
"A Puck? Gotcha."
"You really DON'T know anything about hockey, do you?"
"Not a thing. In Texas man, it's just not that big of a deal. We even have a team in Dallas, but nobody really cares."
"Sad. Hockey is our national pastime, bro. You really have to give it a chance."
"I'm just glad to have an evening out with friends."
"You know, Michael?" Alisha chimed in. "I think we need to find you a nice girl. We have plenty of friends your age back in Canada that you'd just----"
"Thanks, Alisha, but no thanks. I don't mean any disrespect, but ever since that night, there is only one wom--"
"Dude, FORGET MOLLY!!! You're just going to get yourself hurt............and I don't mean emotionally!! That crazy bitch just tried to bash in your skull and rip your balls off with vice grips!!!"
"I know, but she's....."
"Don't even SAY it!!!"
Trying to change the subject, Jacob brought up their upcoming match.
"You know, come Sunday night we'll be right back at this very building................the ring will be right down there about center ice, and we'll be squaring off against----"
"Scene and Backdoor. Look bromigo, I know Jason Scene is a big deal in Canada and I'll be the first to admit that he's accomplished quite a bit; being TEW's last Continental Champion for one thing. However, I did have the displeasure of meeting him about two years ago....."
"REALLY?!?!?!?! What was he like? How'd you meet him???"
"Well, he and my dad were running together in DHS and well, I met him backstage at a show."
"And?"
"Well, I'm no Proctology major, but I do know an asshole when I see one. There was always animosity between him and dad, but somehow Triple X kept them in line."
"Why wouldn't Scene like your dad?"
"Well, they say that Scene is a wrestling purist and that he absolutely despised dad's hardcore style. The fact that dad beat him TWICE doesn't help matters any."
"Dude, you're making my childhood hero sound like a total douchenozzle."
"Just wait until you meet him this weekend. You'll see it firsthand."
"Well, what about his partner? Sure, he's been around a couple of weeks, but I honestly haven't met him yet."
"Neither have I, bro. But here's a word of advice: win or lose Sunday night, be in and out of the shower before he gets in there!"
"Now!!! That's VERY homophobic of you!" a seemingly offended Alisha snapped at him.
"No, it's nothing like that! It's the year 2013 and I don't judge anyone: what he does in his bedroom is his business. But let's face facts: as many gay porno movies as he claims to have been in, I'll bet he has more crabs than a seafood buffet!"
"We REALLY need to find you a date next time, bro!!!"
"Just as long as it's Molly Mayhem, go for it!!!"
"HOLY SHIT!!! WHAT A BODYCHECK!!!"
"Ummm.............what's a body check?"
"Nevermind...........OH DAMN!!! Todd Bertuzzi looks pissed!!! Here they go!!!"
Right in the center of the ice, Red Wings Right Wingman Todd Bertuzzi threw down his stick and began speed skating toward The Maple Leafs Defenseman and the crowd began to go apeshit!!
"KICK HIS ASS, BERTUZZI!!! SEND HIM BACK TO CANADA IN A BODYBAG!!! THAT SHIT DON'T FLY HERE IN THE USA!!!! USA! U-S-A!!!"
"BLITZ!!! SETTLE DOWN!!!!
"What's the problem, bromigo? I'm just trying to get into the game?"
"Well first off, I'M CANADIAN unless you've forgotten! Second of all, we're sitting in the VISITORS section!!! And if that wasn't bad enough, Bertuzzi and the Defenseman he's beating the shit out of are both Canadian, too!!! Bro, MOST of the players in the NHL are Canadian!!!!"
"Chill, chill......my bad, man. I'm sorry, it's like I said: I know jack shit about hockey!!"
"It's okay, man. I'm glad you came out with us tonight. Say, what's the latest on your dad?"
"Well, I've tracked his last known whereabouts to a boat anchored twelve miles off the coast of Cuba. Now it's just a matter of finding a way to go in and get him."
"Have you thought about hiring some mercenaries?"
"It'd be worth a shot. Do you know any?"
"Nope. You?"
"Dude, why do you think I asked you first???"
As the game progressed toward the intermission, Blitz got up and walked toward the concession stand. The game was still deadlocked at 0 and still didn't make a lot of sense to him, but he was surprisingly having the time of his life. It had, after all, been a couple of months since he'd had a night out. It had been either football practice, wrestling, school, studying, rinse and repeat up until a couple of weeks ago. The meddling Jesse Styles had apparently blackmailed Coach Jones into kicking him off the team despite all of his hard work. The fact that some skank that called herself Sparkles had became obsessed with him didn't help matters either. It was just a random fatass bitch that he took to a pig party over at the Delta House.......
After he was about halfway through a seven dollar flat beer, he saw something that would shake things up.....
"JACOB!!!!!"
Blitz dropped his overpriced beer right in the middle of the hallway and began running back to his seat....
"JACOB!!! JACOB!!!"
"WHAT?!?!?! WHAT'S WRONG!?!?!?!"
"I just saw.......I just saw Bobby Backdoor with a purple elephant bent over the counter!! He was just assfucking the dogshit out of it!!!"
"BRO!!!! You need to relax!!! I think you've got some post concussion syndrome or something. I'm no doctor, but you've got to be seeing things!!!"
"You're right.....there's NO WAY that was real!!!But, it is Bobby Backdoor we're talking about here!!"
"So, did I miss anything?"
"Not at all: the third period is just getting started....."
"Three periods huh?"
"Bro, Alisha's sitting RIGHT HERE!!! Let's not go there!!!"
"You're right......too easy."
Thus, Jacob, and Alisha sat and cheered the Maple Leafs on as the game began to wind down. Blitz, on the other hand, tried his best to blend in and enjoy himself even though he was still oblivious as to what was going on down on the ice.
UNTIL THAT DAY..........UNTIL ALL ARE ONE!!!