Post by Jesse Styles on May 19, 2015 18:49:07 GMT -6
Tom Davis: the following contest is scheduled for one fall and is a tag team match. Introducing first in the ring, THE MERCERS!!!!
Vince Walters: Man what a lovely pair that is, I can’t wait to see them totally annihilate the two nerdy retards they are facing.
Jill Matthews: You hate Malloy and Ralphie don’t you Vince? Of course you love the Mercers, they have tits, so what is not to love right?
Vince Walters: Amen baby, it’s why I love you, plus I know you put out, I have seen it.
Jill Matthews: You are a sad, sad man Vince! Besides if you have seen it then you know that small little package you have could never live up to my expectation and standards.
Tom Davis: And their opponents, THE NERDS, RALPHIE AND MALLOY!!!!!
The Diablo 3 Tristram theme begins to play out over the PA system. Out from the back Ralphie and Malloy walk, all decked out in some kind of crazy looking gear.
Vince Walters: Hold on I was just handed a note. Apparently Malloy is wearing the full Diablo 3 Marauders set and Ralphie is wearing the full diablo 3 Immortal Kings set. What the fuck is that?
Jill Matthews: I have no idea but Ralphie has a giant ass axe and Malloy has a pretty sweet looking bow and arrow!
The two men make their way down to the ring as the acoustic guitar fills the air. They walk slow and methodically, both men side by side, their stare at the opponents in the ring. They reach the ring and Malloy goes left, Ralphie goes right, they mount the steps and both slip between the middle ropes. In the ring Ralphie spins around holding his axe out as he does, and Malloy mounts the second rope firing arrows off into the crowd. The fans go ballistic as they fight for the arrows. The music continues to play as Ralphie and Malloy take off the gear and await the start of the match.
Vince Walters: What the hell did we just see?
Jill Matthews: I think we just saw the nerds get over with the fans, and in a big way. They love these guys Vince, probably because they are normal people, and look nothing like wrestlers.
Vince Walters: well like normal people and because they are not wrestlers, they are going to get their asses handed to them! And there is the bell this travesty is under way.
Ralphie starts the match, and Joss starts for the Mercers. Ralphie ducks as Joss rushes him, Joss catching a slap from Malloy in the corner, as she turns around Ralphie hits her with a back elbow that knocks her down. Ralphie tags in Malloy who spring boards off the top rope and slams into Joss with a cross body block. On his feet Malloy tags Ralphie and Ralphie rushes across the ring and drop kicks Joss to the back of her head.
Vince Walters: What the hell? These two idiots are working extremely well together. This can’t be happening!
Jill Matthews: It would appear that we need to give the nerds some respect, I think they have been training, as they would put it, maybe they found a master!
Ralphie tags in Malloy who rushes across the ring and slams into Evelyn who just got tagged in by Josslyn. Evelyn hits the matt and rolls up quick but Malloy is on her with an eye poke, followed by a poke to the other eye, a small shimmy and a poke to both eyes. Evelyn stumbles around grasping her face as Malloy makes the tag to Ralphie. Ralphie rushes Evelyn and force pushes her hard into her corner. Evelyn collapses as Josslyn tags herself in.
Vince Walters: So Malloy poison darted Evelyn and then Ralphie Force pushed her, this is a god damn travesty!
Jill Matthews: It may be a travesty but these two seem to know what they are doing and the mercers do not have an answer for it at all.
Josslyn rushes Ralphie but Ralphie ducks and She trips over the man curled up into a ball, face planting in the middle of the ring. Ralphie jumps to his feet and as Josslyn does the same Ralphie force pushes her into the corner. He tags Malloy who hops over the top rope. Ralphie takes Josslyn by the arm and slings her across the ring. On the return Ralphie ducks and Josslyn jumps over him only to be caught with a spear by Malloy.
Vince Walters: Hold on, I am just being told they call that move Elemental Arrow!
Jill Matthews: Well it definitely took Josslyn out of the picture.
Ralphie rushes the corner and delivers the Force lightening to Evelyn who rolls out of the ring gasping for air as Malloy covers Josslyn.
1
2
3!!!!
Vince Walters: Oh god dammit son of a bitch!!!!!
Jill Matthews: The nerds did it and they did it in convincing style! They might be more dangerous than people in the NEW are giving them credit for!
Vince Walters: Don’t anoint them tag team champions yet Jill!
Tom Davis: Here are your winners, THE NERDS, RALPHIE AND MALLOY!!!!!
Vince Walters: Man what a lovely pair that is, I can’t wait to see them totally annihilate the two nerdy retards they are facing.
Jill Matthews: You hate Malloy and Ralphie don’t you Vince? Of course you love the Mercers, they have tits, so what is not to love right?
Vince Walters: Amen baby, it’s why I love you, plus I know you put out, I have seen it.
Jill Matthews: You are a sad, sad man Vince! Besides if you have seen it then you know that small little package you have could never live up to my expectation and standards.
Tom Davis: And their opponents, THE NERDS, RALPHIE AND MALLOY!!!!!
The Diablo 3 Tristram theme begins to play out over the PA system. Out from the back Ralphie and Malloy walk, all decked out in some kind of crazy looking gear.
Vince Walters: Hold on I was just handed a note. Apparently Malloy is wearing the full Diablo 3 Marauders set and Ralphie is wearing the full diablo 3 Immortal Kings set. What the fuck is that?
Jill Matthews: I have no idea but Ralphie has a giant ass axe and Malloy has a pretty sweet looking bow and arrow!
The two men make their way down to the ring as the acoustic guitar fills the air. They walk slow and methodically, both men side by side, their stare at the opponents in the ring. They reach the ring and Malloy goes left, Ralphie goes right, they mount the steps and both slip between the middle ropes. In the ring Ralphie spins around holding his axe out as he does, and Malloy mounts the second rope firing arrows off into the crowd. The fans go ballistic as they fight for the arrows. The music continues to play as Ralphie and Malloy take off the gear and await the start of the match.
Vince Walters: What the hell did we just see?
Jill Matthews: I think we just saw the nerds get over with the fans, and in a big way. They love these guys Vince, probably because they are normal people, and look nothing like wrestlers.
Vince Walters: well like normal people and because they are not wrestlers, they are going to get their asses handed to them! And there is the bell this travesty is under way.
Ralphie starts the match, and Joss starts for the Mercers. Ralphie ducks as Joss rushes him, Joss catching a slap from Malloy in the corner, as she turns around Ralphie hits her with a back elbow that knocks her down. Ralphie tags in Malloy who spring boards off the top rope and slams into Joss with a cross body block. On his feet Malloy tags Ralphie and Ralphie rushes across the ring and drop kicks Joss to the back of her head.
Vince Walters: What the hell? These two idiots are working extremely well together. This can’t be happening!
Jill Matthews: It would appear that we need to give the nerds some respect, I think they have been training, as they would put it, maybe they found a master!
Ralphie tags in Malloy who rushes across the ring and slams into Evelyn who just got tagged in by Josslyn. Evelyn hits the matt and rolls up quick but Malloy is on her with an eye poke, followed by a poke to the other eye, a small shimmy and a poke to both eyes. Evelyn stumbles around grasping her face as Malloy makes the tag to Ralphie. Ralphie rushes Evelyn and force pushes her hard into her corner. Evelyn collapses as Josslyn tags herself in.
Vince Walters: So Malloy poison darted Evelyn and then Ralphie Force pushed her, this is a god damn travesty!
Jill Matthews: It may be a travesty but these two seem to know what they are doing and the mercers do not have an answer for it at all.
Josslyn rushes Ralphie but Ralphie ducks and She trips over the man curled up into a ball, face planting in the middle of the ring. Ralphie jumps to his feet and as Josslyn does the same Ralphie force pushes her into the corner. He tags Malloy who hops over the top rope. Ralphie takes Josslyn by the arm and slings her across the ring. On the return Ralphie ducks and Josslyn jumps over him only to be caught with a spear by Malloy.
Vince Walters: Hold on, I am just being told they call that move Elemental Arrow!
Jill Matthews: Well it definitely took Josslyn out of the picture.
Ralphie rushes the corner and delivers the Force lightening to Evelyn who rolls out of the ring gasping for air as Malloy covers Josslyn.
1
2
3!!!!
Vince Walters: Oh god dammit son of a bitch!!!!!
Jill Matthews: The nerds did it and they did it in convincing style! They might be more dangerous than people in the NEW are giving them credit for!
Vince Walters: Don’t anoint them tag team champions yet Jill!
Tom Davis: Here are your winners, THE NERDS, RALPHIE AND MALLOY!!!!!