Post by Blair Buchannan-Vanderbilt on Feb 5, 2024 22:01:08 GMT -6
Part One
Venus in Retrograde
Venus in Retrograde
When Blair initially heard about the grand re-re-re-re-re-re-opening of New Edge Wrestling, a return to the ring was the last thing on her mind. While it is true that she was on a mission to revamp her image, with the help of her then boyfriend and manager Derek Vanderbilt along with the guidance of her friend and mentor Naomi Campbell, Blair had absolutely zero designs on stepping foot onto a wrestling stage ever again. In her mind, she’d done everything she could do in that particular arena. There was too much history and heartache, plus her reputation had been completely ruined, not that she had a particularly flattering one to begin with. Blair was looking forward to making a return to her first true love, which was fashion. Only this time, she would trade the runway for the workroom as a designer as opposed to the muse. After all, the high fashion runway model to high fashion designer pipeline seemed slightly more logical than Supermodel turned Professional Wrestler.
It was a similar path that Derek’s mother Gloria Vanderbilt had forged, decades long before Blair Buchannan was on this earth. For once, it would be nice to walk a path that perhaps someone else had forged to make things just a touch easier, instead of having to carve out a space for herself in the same way she had to do with wrestling. Then there was of course the fact that the fashion community by and large still considered the world of professional wrestling as the lowest form of entertainment. Which means for the most part, they were blissfully unaware or flat out did not care about what Blair had been up to during her time with N.E.W and most recently OPW. She had been keeping up enough of an appearance at fashion week events and turning up as a guest judge on a reality tv competition show here and there–thanks to her new management–to still be considered relevant among the fashion community and its glitterati.
It wasn’t until Blair rejoining N.E.W was practically ordered by ‘The Architect’ themselves. Blair was made aware of the official mandate after it was handed down from the mysterious creator of the StarCross Collective via senior officer Naomi Campbell, Blair’s close friend and the person she directly reported to. For all intents and purposes, Naomi was The Architect. There was no one higher up on the food chain besides the founder themselves, and she was the only person within the entire U.S collective and all of it’s international subsidiaries, who had actually met The Architect. She was widely regarded as their voice and right hand so everybody knew that you do not say no to Naomi. It would be considered an act of treason, and the ultimate disrespect.
Blair’s role in all of this, as third in the chain of command, was to act as an ambassador between the leaders and the followers of the collective. This was not dissimilar to the role she played as roster representative in OPW and as a regular spokesperson for NEW media campaigns and promotional appearances. She was essentially a spokesperson for the head office of StarCross to the lower members of the Collective as well, but more than that, she would be the public face of StarCross. As such, she was expected to follow every order and be a shining example of the Ideal member.
Though it did take a lot of convincing, Blair was reminded of one very important personal goal of hers which was to make things right with the daughter she shared with–and ultimately relinquished to–Roger Wright. Who, most likely, would be returning to New Edge Wrestling. It was an easy in for her. Another reason Blair wanted to return was because she hated the reputation she had as somebody who has to cheat to win matches. She worked hard over the last 14 years to really learn her craft and become a formidable opponent and a true wrestler. She resented the fact that, for whatever reason, her in-ring ability was rarely if ever acknowledged. Not to mention, it would be a gold mine of talent to convert and a way to spread StarCross’s message to the masses.
It took up until a month before the reopening for Blair to decide on a return to New Edge Wrestling. Accompanying her is Derek Vanderbilt, her business manager and boyfriend. Derek's presence signifies both support for Blair and the representation of StarCross, the parent company of The Ranch, where Blair has been undergoing treatment for the past year. Their partnership underscores Blair's commitment and strategic approach to her career, and would also help add some leverage should NEW Owner Jesse Styles need a little convincing in order to allow his cousin’s ex-wife back into the fold.
Blair maintains a professional demeanor upon entry into NEW HQ, her inner pageant girl shining through as she plasters that big beauty queen smile on her face and greets the office employees. As the couple make their way through the corridors, the atmosphere crackles with surprise. Corporate employees, accustomed to Blair's previous distant demeanor, are taken aback as she greets them with genuine warmth, addressing each by name. It's a stark contrast to her former aloofness.
The interior of the headquarters reflects a blend of modernity and athleticism, with sleek glass walls adorned with memorabilia from past wrestling events. The sound of phones ringing and keyboards clacking fills the air, creating a backdrop of corporate hustle and bustle.Blair was of course dressed for the occasion in a long black full length faux fur coat, black sunglasses, and a black off the shoulder mini-dress; her legs were sheathed in sheer black nylons, and punctuated by a pair of black Yves Saint Lauren stiletto pumps with the signature gold YSL heel. She was the currently trending mob-wife aesthetic personified, and definitely looked like she was prepared to handle some business.
“Why does everyone seem so surprised by you acknowledging them?”
“I used to be a mean girl…”
Blair says under her breath as they continue to navigate through the sleek corridors of the New Edge Wrestling headquarters. The scent of polished wood hangs in the air, mingling with the faint hum of fluorescent lights overhead. As they approach Jesse Styles' administrative assistant's desk, the atmosphere crackles with an undercurrent of tension.
Approaching Jesse's administrative assistant's desk, Blair encounters, a familiar face from the very beginning of her career in N.E.W.Josh Cole, a figure from Blair's past, sits in the waiting area, his posture guarded, his eyes flickering with a mixture of surprise and resentment at Blair's suddenly appearing. A wave of realization washes over Cole’s face before he slowly shakes his head from left to right and lets out a quick huff of sardonic laughter.
Josh Cole: “Yup. That tracks. I guess some things never change around here.”
Blair made her in ring debut about two weeks after Josh Cole signed his contract with the company. However, in a fraction of the time, it was safe to assume that Cole was definitely not a fan of Blair’s. Some might attribute that to the rumor that he asked Blair out, to which she declined. Though neither of them ever confirmed that this ever took place. That explanation didn’t seem credible, if only for the fact that Josh Cole was a big name in wrestling back then and had his pick of women, fans and a list starlets of the time alike, to choose from. It didn’t seem likely that he would be that affected by a rejection from Blair, who was a nobody back then.
Another argument explaining his disdain for Blair could be made simply by pointing to the time she ‘accidentally’ lost her top amidst a wardrobe malfunction during a match between herself, Josh, and another wrestler in a triple threat for the XTreme Championship Title Belt. The spectacle caused enough of a distraction for Blair to get the unexpected and underhanded win (this first of many) thus catapulting her into superstardom, but at Cole’s expense. Losing a match, though he wasn't the one pinned, to a former supermodel with zero wrestling experience didn’t do wonders for his bankability. Their eyes meet in an awkward moment, and Blair attempts to break the tension with a hesitant greeting. Josh's response is cool and standoffish, punctuated by a sarcastic remark as Blair inquires about his potential return to New Edge Wrestling.
“Hey, Josh. Long time, no see," She offers with a tentative smile.
"Blair," Josh responds curtly, his tone betraying a hint of sarcasm.
"So, are you planning to come back to N.E.W as well?" Blair's voice carries a note of genuine curiosity.
Josh's response is clipped, his tone tinged with an edge of sarcasm that hangs heavy in the air. "Oh, yeah. Can't wait to jump back into the chaos."
Sensing the tension, Derek steps forward with a polite introduction. "Hi, I'm Derek Vanderbilt, Blair's business manager."
Josh scoffs, shaking his head dismissively. "Don't care dude. I’ve been waiting here for almost an hour to talk to Jesse. But that nice lady behind the desk back there informed me that he had an important meeting and that i’d have to wait until that was done."
"Ah, the importance of appointments," Derek interjects with a wry smile.
"Yeah, I had one on the books for months. Got pushed back for her highness here," Josh retorts sarcastically, motioning to but not looking at Blair.
Before more can be said, Jesse Styles emerges from his office, his presence a welcome interruption to the escalating tension.
"Blair, come on in. Let's talk," Jesse invites, his voice cutting through the thick atmosphere.
Blair shoots a fleeting glance at Josh, a mix of apprehension and determination in her eyes, before following Jesse into his office. The weight of unresolved tension lingers in the lobby.
Jesse: “Blair, I have to admit, I'm a bit surprised to see you here, considering how badly everything ended with my cousin.”
Blair: “I’m a little surprised too actually. But I'm here because I genuinely want to be back in the ring.”
Jesse: “I gotta tell you, i’m open to you returning. When you’re good, you’re great. You always had a way of captivating fans, even if half the time they couldn’t stand you. But…you know the Blair Buchannan name comes with your own particular brand drama, Blair. I mean, you’ve been married to or have been romantically linked to like half of my Main Eventers. The only drama I want is in the ring, not outside of it.”
Blair: “Jesse, any hard feelings I had are in the past. I've learned so much from my stay at The Ranch, this really great wellness community. That’s actually why I want to come back. I want to share their message with the masses, through other wrestlers and advertisements from StarCross, which is their parent company.”
Derek: “Jesse, if I may interject, StarCross as an advertiser would be a tremendous asset to N.E.W. Their resources are virtually unlimited, and they're willing to sponsor future overseas tours and more liquid financial support if this initial partnership works out.”
Jesse: pauses, considering “Well, when you put it like that... Alright, Blair, you're in.”
Blair: surprised “Really? That easily?”
Jesse: “ What am I supposed to say? No? I mean, you're basically family.”
Blair: with a smirk “No..Not legally.”
Jesse: chuckles “Well, legally or not, welcome back to N.E.W. Let's make this work.”
Blair: “Thank you, Jesse. You won't regret it.”
Derek: “ and we're committed to making sure the partnership with StarCross benefits everyone involved.”
Jesse: ”Alright, Derek. Let's talk numbers then.”
As Derek delves into the financial details with Jesse, Blair observes the exchange with a mix of relief and anticipation. She can hardly believe that her return to N.E.W is actually happening, especially after her tumultuous and rocky past. As they wrap things up, everyone stands.
Blair: leaning in to Jesse “Thank you for giving me this chance. I’m really excited to be coming home.
Jesse: nodding Just make sure to keep the drama in the ring, Blair. We've got enough of that as it is.
Blair: smiling Understood. “No more drama, just wrestling.”
Jesse: grinning “That's what I like to hear.”
As they finalize the details of Blair's return, the atmosphere in the room shifts from apprehension to excitement. It's a new chapter for Blair in the world of wrestling, one she's determined to make the most of with the support of Jesse and the opportunities ahead. Blair and Derek step out of Jesse's office, the weight of the meeting still lingering in the air around them. Blair wears a mixture of relief and surprise on her face as she scans the almost empty waiting room.
BLAIR: “Well, that went better than I expected.” She says after exhaling deeply..
DEREK: (nodding) “It did. Jesse seemed more open to the idea than I thought he would be.”
As they make their way toward the exit, Blair catches sight of Josh Cole, who sits impatiently in the waiting area, as he flips through a magazine.
BLAIR: (approaching Josh tentatively) Hey, Josh. Can we talk for a minute?
Josh looks up, his eyes wary, but he nods, signaling for Blair to continue.
BLAIR: Josh, I want to apologize. I'm not sure how I treated you in the past, but I'm pretty sure it probably wasn't very nice.
JOSH: (skeptical) You could say that.
BLAIR: I was a really unhappy person back then, Josh. I hurt a lot of people, and I'm sorry for that. But I'm determined to make up for it now that I'm back.
DEREK: People change, Josh. Blair's making an effort to set things right.
JOSH: Where I come from a person’s actions are worth more than their words. You bulldoze your way in here with some suit, see me sitting here, and tell you that I’ve been waiting forever. I even explain that you’re the reason why my meeting was pushed back in the first place. What do you do? You go in anyway because God forbid Blair wait her turn like the rest of us commoners.”
JESSE: “Come on in Josh, I can see you now.” Jesse says, leaning out from his office.
JOSH: “Seems like the same old Blair Buchannan to me.”
With that, he pushes past Blair and Derek and heads into his meeting. Blair was absolutely dumfounded. She was at a loss for words, which was rare for her. As they start walking in the opposite direction, Blair links arms with Derek.
Blair: “That, however, went decidedly worse than I expected” Blair says to Derek as they make their way out of the office.
PART 2:
Venus in Allignment
Under the radiant Louisiana sun, the vast estate just beyond the outskirts of Baton Rouge unfolded its story to those fortunate enough to witness its grandeur. In this picturesque setting, the air was saturated with the earthy aroma of freshly cut grass, a fragrant prelude to the enchantment that awaited.
Valet attendants, choreographing a ballet of vehicles, orchestrated a seamless arrival for guests. The expansive parking area, bathed in sunlight, centered around a monumental fountain. Its waters danced with a rhythmic elegance, serenading the surroundings with a melody that harmonized with the gentle rustle of leaves in the breeze.
Approaching the chateau, the lilac roof gleamed like a crown atop the pristine white facade. Every architectural nuance, every contour, whispered tales of meticulous craftsmanship. As visitors ascended the steps, the gravel beneath their shoes added a sensory layer to the unfolding narrative.
The chateau, a sentinel of opulence, revealed glimpses of its interior through expansive windows. Each pane reflected the vibrant hues of meticulously curated gardens, creating a kaleidoscope of colors. The soundscape shifted from the orchestrated arrival to a symphony of birdsong, accompanied by the distant lapping of water—an invitation to explore further.
The landscaped wonderland beckoned, promising an immersive experience. The scent of magnolias lingered in the air, weaving through the tapestry of nature's perfume. The gravel paths transitioned to the soft embrace of manicured lawns, each step an invitation to savor the tranquility of shaded alcoves beneath majestic trees.
This estate, bathed in the warm glow of sunlight, became a living novel—a tale told through the senses. As visitors wandered through this Southern oasis, they became characters in a narrative of charm and grandeur, losing themselves in the chapters of an enchanting story.
In the heart of the sprawling estate, Blair Buchannan's journey unfolded like chapters in a novel. Having acquired the property when it was just an acre of potential, it marked her first triumph in the world of supermodels—a testament to her early success.
As her career soared, Blair transformed the land, initially a mere backdrop, into a haven. A beautiful home for her mother stood proudly, a symbol of love and success. After her mother's passing, the chateau became a canvas for Blair's aspirations. With each addition and expansion, the estate evolved, mirroring the growth of Blair's illustrious career.
Blair's life took her to the bustling streets of New York and the glamorous world of Los Angeles, but the chateau remained a sanctuary. An archive of her iconic gowns, ring attire, and the echoes of a storied modeling and wrestling career unfolded within its walls. The chateau became headquarters for her multifaceted businesses and a home base for StarGate, the collective she had unknowingly become entangled with.
Returning to her roots for work, Blair found herself immersed in a new chapter. The chateau, now a nexus of her ventures, hosted a wellness retreat—an event orchestrated by StarGate, the enigmatic collective to which she was affiliated. Unbeknownst to Blair, the retreat bore the hallmarks of a subtle influence.
In the dimly lit study of Blair's mansion, the soft glow of a desk lamp illuminated the rich mahogany furnishings, casting a warm embrace over the room. The scent of aged leather mingled with the faint aroma of lavender, creating an atmosphere of quiet elegance.
Blair sat behind her antique desk, her posture poised yet tense, as she reached for the phone nestled amidst a clutter of papers and books. With a steady hand, she dialed a number, each digit a deliberate motion in the stillness of the room.
As the phone rang, the air seemed to hum with anticipation, the sound reverberating against the walls like a heartbeat echoing through the silence. With each chime, Blair's resolve deepened, her breath catching in her throat as she waited for the call to be answered. Finally, on the other end of the line, a voice broke through.
Bianca: Hello?
Blair: Hello, Bianca? Blair Buchannan here. We haven’t met yet, but-..
Bianca: I’m aware of who you are…and just how, may I ask, did you obtain my personal phone number?
Blair: Jill Matthews gave it to me.I hope you don’t mind. Anyway, I know you’re an in demand woman.
Bianca: and how would you know that?
Blair: Just a hunch. We pageant girls certainly do know how to keep our dance cards full, ain’t that right?
Bianca: ….Yes? Oh, I’m sorry who is this again?
Blair: It’s Blair Buchannan. We have a match coming up this week.
Bianca: Oh, that’s right..Listen, I’m sorry about whatever financial situation you’re clearly going through, but that’s the standard offer I give to everyone to forfeit their matches and I’m not going to budge, so you might as well just take the money because you’re just wasting your time,and more importantly mine, by begging for more-...
Blair: What?! I didn’t call to strong arm you for money in exchange forfeit our match. Though that is a genius strategy, i’ll give you that. I wish i’d thought of it back when I was first starting out. I could have saved a lot of money on corrective cosmetic surgery…
Bianca: uh huh…listen, as riveting as this is…if you didn’t call to discuss the Pay not To Play deal, then why are you on my phone?
Blair: The reason I’m calling is because i’m hosting a self care and wellness event featuring guided group meditation at my estate in Baton Rouge. It’s to benefit the Miss Louisiana Foundation. I’d love it if you could come and say a few words of encouragement, maybe talk about your journey before I give my speech.
Bianca: You mean, you want me to warm up the crowd for you. Nice talking to you crazy lady.
Blair: Wait, please don’t hang up! I really think that future contestants can learn a lot from you sharing your experience both in the pageant and beyond. Plus, two former Pageant Winners uniting for a good cause is excellent optics. I’m sure it’ll get national media coverage. International if one of us has a wardrobe malfunction or we accidentally show up wearing the same thing.Anyway, what do you think? Would you be interested?
Bianca: …When you say international media, do you mean JLo international, or Shakira international?
Blair: Please. Shakira international, all the way.
Bianca: …I’ll think about it.
Blair: Amazing! I’ll send over-.... *Click*
Blair: ...Ok I guess she really was busy.
As the day unfolded, the chateau's grandeur played host to both the devoted followers of StarGate and the radiant contestants of Miss America Louisiana. Blair, once a beauty queen herself, orchestrated a day of pampering and wellness—a celebration of femininity and strength, entwining her diverse journey from Miss Louisiana to Miss America, and later, her metamorphosis into a fashion model and professional wrestler.
In the midst of the bayou, under the embrace of sunlight, Blair's chateau became the backdrop for a tale blending the worlds of fashion, wrestling, and the subtle allure of an unforeseen chapter in her life—a narrative where the past and present converged, leaving the future shrouded in the mystery of the Louisiana estate.
As Blair led Omar Azul and his wife through the wing of her mansion designated for her various businesses, the air hummed with the quiet energy of creativity and ambition. Sunlight filtered through the windows, casting warm hues across the polished floors as they passed by displays of Blair's fashion line, Prince Til Midnight, for men.
"This wing houses the heart of my ventures," Blair explained, her voice carrying the pride of accomplishment. "Prince Til Midnight is my latest endeavor—a blend of sophistication and daring for the modern gentleman."
Omar nodded, his gaze sweeping over the meticulously crafted garments on display. "Impressive indeed, Blair. Your attention to detail is evident in every piece."
Blair smiled gratefully, her eyes alight with passion. "Thank you, Omar. It's been a labor of love."
Continuing their tour, Blair led them through the corridors adorned with photographs capturing moments from her illustrious career, each frame a testament to her journey from beauty queen to fashion icon and beyond.
As they stepped into the rose garden, the atmosphere shifted, enveloping them in the fragrant embrace of nature's beauty. Vibrant blooms danced in the gentle breeze, their petals kissed by the Louisiana sun.
"This is where the magic happens," Blair said, gesturing to the bustling scene before them.
Amidst the serene setting, the Miss Louisiana America foundation's wellness retreat was in full swing. Contestants mingled with guests, their laughter blending with the melody of birdsong.
As Omar and Blair talked, Val came walking down the hallway. Looking at her quickly, she could be mistaken for a wholly different person, and in a way she was. Valora was buried. She was rude, crude. A brutish barbarian. Val was a much better person. She pauses her trip to the destination and looks at Omar before looking to Blair. When she speaks, her normal voice and mannerisms are gone, the voice that Valora would have used to mock something, was now her normal speaking voice.
“Like, Blair! You didn’t mention we were expecting more guests!” She says with a playful nudge.
Blair's smile widened as she embraced her friend. "Valora, it's wonderful to see you. I hope you're enjoying the retreat. I was just about to tell Omar and Yuma about the guided meditation and how transofmative and significant it is."
Val listens and nods turning to Omar and giving him a smile.
“Well I’m like.. Totes sure you’ll love it. It’s so relaxing.. Totally transformative and like soo significant.”
As Valora bid her farewells, her departure marked the beginning of a quiet interlude in the bustling retreat. Blair watched her friend's figure disappear among the rose bushes, a sense of gratitude warming her heart.
Hours later, the evening draped the estate in a tranquil embrace. In the sanctuary of Blair's study, she and Omar Azul huddled over a table strewn with notes and sketches, their voices low in conversation.
Blair leaned forward, her eyes alight with determination. "We need to capitalize on our strengths and exploit their weaknesses. Josh Cole and Bianca Davis are formidable opponents, but with the right strategy, we can overcome them."
Omar nodded, his expression focused. "Agreed. We'll need to anticipate their moves and stay one step ahead. Our chemistry in the ring will be crucial."
Blair tapped her pen against the table, her mind racing with possibilities. "I've been studying their past matches. We'll need to neutralize their strengths and control the pace of the match."
Omar's gaze met hers, a silent understanding passing between them. "Together, we can do this. We've trained for moments like these, Blair. I have complete faith in our abilities."
Blair smiled, a flicker of excitement igniting within her. "I couldn't agree more, Omar. This match is our chance to prove ourselves as a formidable team."
As the conversation drew to a close, Blair led Omar and his partner Yuma to the door, the anticipation of their upcoming match palpable in the air.
"I can't tell you how excited I am to step into the ring with you, Omar," Blair confessed, her voice brimming with enthusiasm. "Together, we're going to show the world what we're made of."
Omar's smile mirrored her own, his eyes alight with determination. "Likewise, Blair. This is our moment to shine."
Val makes her way over to Blair and clears her throat a bit, waiting for Blair to turn to her and speak before she chimes in.
“Like, don’t lose track of time, silly! We have to leave either now or very soon if you want to stick to your plan of shopping in the French quarter and skinny margs before your dress fitting."
With heartfelt goodbyes exchanged, Blair watched as Omar and Yuma disappeared into the night, their steps echoing the promise of victory and the thrill of competition. Closing the door behind them, Blair took a moment to breathe, grateful for a brief reprieve and a bit of peace.
Part 3
Venus Return
Later that afternoon, Blair and Valora made their way to a very posh bridal boutique tucked within New Orlean's famous French Quarter. They were slightly giddy, after stopping off for bottomless mimosas and brunch following the drive from Baton Rouge to New Orleans. As they entered, Val’s eyes widened. Firstly, this is a store Valora would never have entered. But Val was here with her bestest friend ever, Blair. Though she would not admit she was nervous as hell. One of the women working in the store came over to the group and listened carefully as Blair described she was here for her dress fitting and sprang a surprise on Val. Clasping a hand on her shoulder.
Blair: “Oh! And Val here, she’s in my bridal party too, so we’re going to need a dress for her!”
The woman looked Val over and nodded, telling Blair that was no problem and that Val would be seen to once Blair had been taken care of. Val and Blair then went to begin the process of gathering the needed data to retrieve Blair's custom Vera Wang gown, as well as the option she chose for Val.
In the softly lit bridal boutique, the air was alive with anticipation as Blair stood amidst a whirlwind of tulle and lace. Surrounding her, a sea of gowns shimmered in the gentle glow, each a vision of elegance and romance.
Valora, her steadfast companion, stood by Blair's side, her presence a calming anchor amidst the flurry of activity. Seamstresses bustled about, their skilled hands meticulously crafting each delicate stitch as Blair underwent her dress fitting.
The gown, a masterpiece of ivory satin and intricate lace, enveloped Blair like a dream. With each adjustment, the dress transformed, sculpting itself to fit her form with exquisite precision.
As Blair stood before the mirror, the weight of the moment settled upon her shoulders. The wedding—the culmination of a journey filled with love and promise—loomed on the horizon, a beacon of joy tinged with uncertainty.
Amidst the flutter of fabric and whispered consultations, decisions swirled around Blair like autumn leaves caught in a tempest. Veils, bouquets, accessories—each choice a thread in the tapestry of her wedding day, each demanding her attention.
Val watched with empathy, her gaze filled with understanding. She reached out, her touch a gentle reassurance amidst the chaos. "Take a breath, Blair. You've got this."
But the pressure mounted, a crescendo of expectations and responsibilities threatening to engulf Blair in its wake. Each decision felt like a weight upon her shoulders, each detail a reminder of the magnitude of the day ahead.
The attendant, seeing Blair’s anxieties beginning to get the better of her looks to Val. Val walks over to her best friend, coming up behind her and rubbing her shoulders and planting a small kiss on her neck before whispering in Blair’s ear.
“Shh.. you, like totes got this! You’re Blair Buchannan! You used to do this for a living.”
In an effort to comfort her friend. Valora would have been self conscious here, despite her training and education. Val, wasn’t at all afraid to use what she had learned in college to help her friend. Continuing to rub her shoulders, Val nods. “What’s got you so nervous and tight?
"I don't know, Val," Blair confessed, her voice tinged with uncertainty. "It's all just... so much. I mean, this is my fourth marriage...Is it not completely ridiculous that i'm making such a big deal about this with the wedding and the dresses and the production of it all? I feel like people must think i'm either desperate or unlucky in love. I'm beginning to agree with them."
Val listened as Blair described her worries. Her failed marriages with Hunter and Johnny. Her fear that this was another bad marriage. Her own insecurities coming out.
Val smiled. “This time is totes different. For one thing, your man can speak in complete sentences. So he’s already like totes 5 steps up at least from the first two losers!” Blair laughs a bit and nods. A server comes around giving Blair and Val glasses of some very high quality wine. Val takes the two glasses as she circles around, handing Blair her glass and taking her own glass. Val takes a sip and looks at the attendant as she walks over to Val. “So like.. How important is it for her to be relaxed? I’ve like never done the wedding thing before so..” Valora would have expected this woman, with her perfect posture and her snooty French accent to have looked down her nose and treat Val as an inferior…
But she didn’t Looking at Val, She nodded. “It is very important Madame! When you are nervous or anxious, you breathe differently, this will throw off our measurements and affect our ability to provide the best possible fit.” Val couldn’t believe her ears. Blair was right, changing her clothes and dropping her accent and everything changes.
Val turns to Blair. “Right. Drinking game. We take turns asking each other questions or just talking, whatever, basically doing the things we totes would have done in high school if we knew each other then. We can answer or we can choose to drink..”
This suggestion, though perhaps a bit silly, also made sense, from a certain angle. Obviously the cult wanted Blair to learn as much as possible about her chosen recruit, Val and this exercise would not only help in that regard but would also begin preparing Val for when the time came for her to recruit someone. It was also a sign of Val’s progress. The hard liquor alcoholic Valora was giving way to the much more socially acceptable and fun loving Val the wine mom, type of drinker.
Blair Buchannan: “ I need some air…"
Blair suddenly objects before the bridal concierge can once more try to ply her with champagne. She grabs onto her gown and raises it a little to avoid tripping before emerging into the dusky embrace of the Quarter. The delicate lace of the wedding gown trails behind her as she tiptoes out onto the street. Blair casts a cautious glance left, then right, before nimbly leaping over a stream of runoff. Her stiletto clad feet tiptoe across the boulevard to a cafe, where she seeks refuge beneath its awning.
Amidst the graceful chaos of the Quarter, the stressed out bride-to-be navigating its cobblestone labyrinth wasn't the oddest sight that evening, not by far. As Blair meandered, her thoughts adrift, she navigated her path purely on autopilot. Before long, she found herself walking along a familiar landmark and stopped at its entrance. There, beyond its beautifully ornate gothic style iron gates, a cemetery loomed before her; A silent sentinel amidst the city's bustling heart, its hallowed ground a testament to love and loss
.
The distant strains of a New Orleans funeral procession danced upon the breeze, a melancholic melody that tugged at Blair's memory, drawing her deeper into the labyrinth of her past. It was here, amidst the hallowed tranquility of the cemetery's embrace, that Blair had once stolen moments of fleeting passion with her then boyfriend, a teenaged Johnny Styles. Before either of them became shaped by the worlds they chose to pursue on the paths to their individual dreams–Blair becoming a supermodel and Johnny’s of course becoming the world’s greatest professional wrestler–Blair would regularly sneak out unbeknownst to her mother, to meet him. Not being old enough to purchase alcohol, or even rent a hotel room, his cemetery is often where they would end up.
As she stood amidst the shadows of memory, Blair's gaze fell upon a young couple canoodling amongst the opulent gravestones and crypts, their laughter a poignant echo of days long past. For a fleeting instant, the veil between past and present dissolved, casting Blair adrift in the currents of time. Suddenly she’s brought back to the present as the teenagers' eyes meet hers. She offers a gentle smile and holds up a couple fingers in a little wave to let them know she isn’t a narc or a creeper, before turning around to leave.
Then, as if conjured from the mists of memory, Blair is surprised to see someone blocking her path. At first the now former supermodel was sure she was hallucinating, or at least had been wearing her contact lenses too long. So after gently rubbing her eyelids followed by a few quick blinks, Blair looks up at the man’s face and–as she suspected–found herself standing in front of the now very adult, and very real, LA Johnny Stylez. She couldn't have guessed what his reaction would be once his eyes registered the information of who he was presently in the presence of to his brain, especially when you consider The Champion of New Edge Wrestling did try and seriously injure his now ex wife...However today...more SPeCiFiCaLLy in thE
!!!!RiGHT HeRe ~n~ RiGHT NoW!!!!!
Don't Seem LiKe HaTReD iS ANyWHeRe In ThE ViCiNiTy
I mean maybe, just maybe they were actually happy to see each other. This is a crazy phuckin’ world we live in...AiNT IT?
LA Johnny Stylez: “Well MaMa I'd ask what the phuck you're doin here, but I guess I should have known! But really I gotta hand it to ya BeeBz ya look good! Like seriously...it's almost like I didn't kick the phuck out of you a few weeks ago!!”
Blair shakes her head with a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. She can’t help but laugh a little at this circumstance which, to her at least, was evident of some higher power which definitely had a twisted sense of humor. Running into her third husband in one of their old haunts, after dipping out on a dress fitting for her wedding to her fourth husband–in a bridal gown no less–was pretty hilarious. Following his last statement, Blair gives him the ‘what can I say’ look while miming an exaggerated shrug.
Blair Buchannan: “ Why thank you…remind me to send your cousin a fruit basket. Apparently the N.E.W health plan coverage now includes cosmetic surgery..and who says I haven’t made an impact? ”
She places one hand on her hip, the other acting as a visor at her hairline to shield her makeup from being ruined by the drizzling rain as she looks up at her ex.
Blair Buchannan: “ Of course you’re here…wait, what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be busy with those Jazzers girls, or wreaking havoc on Gotham City or something ?”
Johnny rolls his eyes and chuckles to himself as he shakes his head flashing his trademark arrogant smirk.
LA Johnny Stylez: “NEW came home BEEBZ...And as the CHAMPION I had to come home too! First time I been home since I won my got damn belt back...SO if anyone thought I'd miss even a moment of a chance to come back and rub it in everyone's faces, well guess they still ain't learned shit! But me? Shouldn't you be in a mirror somewhere practicing how to promise someone you'll love them forever again?...Or what no need? I mean you have to be like a pro at this point right MaMa?”
Blair’s eyes soften and she just kind of laughs and looks down for a moment before looking back up at Johnny as if to say ‘come on now,’ and playfully punching him in the shoulder.
Blair Buchannan: “ …Now was that really necessary? Whatever happened to our little truce? Either you were putting on airs for your followers on X, or that was some serious friendly fire…. and anyway, let's face it. We both know I was never that good of an actress. Nope, unfortunately for me, I actually believe that each time is gonna be the last time. You’d think I woulda learned my lesson by now.”
LA Johnny Stylez: “No you're absolutely right, sorry I just got so used to hat...Not liking you very strongly I dunno I guess it's just kinda weird because with me and you it's always one or the other...Madly in love or all out hatred. So please don't take it personally, it is JUST ME AFTER ALL...But since we are gunna pretend to be friends for the day, I gotta ask. You sure about this Daniel dude? I mean you really wanna "TaKe THe PLuNGe" all over again? I mean who is this dude?”
Blair lets out an exasperated sigh as she sweeps a rogue strand of hair from her face. The two continue to stroll throughout the cemetery, and Blair finds herself absentmindedly weaving in and out of the gravestones as she speaks.
Blair Buchannan: “ His name is Derek, and when did you ever hate me?! … by the way that is probably the worst question on the planet you could possibly ask someone in the middle of planning a wedding. But yes, of course I do. I wouldn’t have said yes if I didn’t genuinely believe that I was going to spend the rest of my life with him.”
Johnny gives her a look.
Blair Buchannan: “ Don’t even start. I already know what you’re going to say, but I also thought that I was going to spend the rest of my life with Hunter…I absolutely thought I would spend the rest of my life with you…Ryan Pugh, not so much. Roger and I never got that far… But regardless, nobody ever gets into these things with the assumption that their marriage won’t work out…but he’s nice, and uncomplicated, and I don’t have this nervous knot in my stomach the entire time. It’s just simple and easy and I don’t have to worry about him. I feel like my whole life–whether it’s work or relationships–has been an uphill climb just to get a piece of what everyone else seems to get handed to them so easily. I can fight against the odds to maintain a successful career. I refuse to do it for love, which is a basic human right…and with Derek, I don’t feel like i’m climbing. I feel like I'm floating.”
LA Johnny Stylez: “ Uhhh WOAHHH,
???FLoATiNG SHe SaYZ!!!!
K, So LooK Ima TeLL Ya LiKe THiS HeRe!!!
At the end of the day I could never even possibly begin to imagine what the phuckI am to you, but I don’t let it get me too down cause I then almost always suddenly realize there is no layer of the multiverse where you aren’t in the exact same boat without the exact same GOT DAMN PADDLES! So since I also happen to be an UpSTaNDiNG, AB$oLuTe P.H.U.C.K.I.N.G. GENTLEMEN, I’ll tell ya this one last time incase I never did before. Mama you’re a got damn train wreck, and for the longest I was convinced you were resigned to remain the wreck if not to wind back up just so you could phucking crash head first 14 billion got damncar pile up, make the news in 12 different countries KINDA GOT DAMN DISASTER! So if you are really happy with this guy I dont even know, but I already know is at least 419 different kinds of wrong for you, BUTTTT if you are happy enough to get into all of this shit all over again all the while making sure to mind the consequences just as well as the rewards. Life is all a creap shoot anyway…Who knows where you and I will be in six got damn months from now! So just know whereever the phuck you are or will be, if you are legit for real…Like
!!!!!O-M-G JOHNNY!!!!!
LiKe ReaL LiFe…
…Then I am sincerely and genuinely happy for you and thats not what I actually originally wanted, but given the circumstances its as good as either of us could deserve to hope for right?...RIGHT! But if the day comes and you realize what I already know, just know it come attached to at minimum 7-45 SINCERE AND VERY DISRESPECTFUL
!!!!TOLD YA So’$!!!!
…But Its OnLy CaUse I LoV..LuV YA…EVeN WHeN I F’N HATE YOU!!!
…TRUE STORY…(NaiLeDDDDD It!!!)!!! ”
Blair Buchanan: Oh THANK GOD I thought you were gunna say SOAK SOME UP! I would have DIED!!!
LA Johnny Stylez: Ohh so now you think you get to act like some kinda wise ass? Sorry to inform you dear but you are forbidden to do so according to every known law in the got damn universe whilst making a PHUCKING B LINE for what will inevitably be your uhhh
!!!!!4th WeDDiNG!!!!
…K?
Now having said that, just take care of yourself BeeBs, do that for me?
Blair Buchannan: “ I will make a genuine effort to do so, yes.”
She says while trying to stifle a laugh as she looks up at him. The two begin meandering through the cemetery once more. There’s a brief pause as she lets his words sink in, then suddenly opens her mouth to say something. Johnny, quite familiar with Blair’s idiosyncrasies and the strong need ro get the last word in–not unlike Mr. Stylez himself, makes a big show of rolling his eyes and sighing as if he already knows whatever she’s about to say is going to be something ridiculous and is already exhausted from it.
“ y’know…all of this sage wisdom you somehow magically possess might have come in handy when we were still married. I don’t recall you being such an expert then. Not to mention you’ve only been married what, once? Talk about being an underachiever. How, may I ask, are you now so concerned with whether or not I’m making the right choice now.Not to be a bitch, but…I mean i’ll just say it. You didn’t seem all that concerned about marriage when we were married. Or is it like that old saying…those who can’t do, teach?”
LA Johnny Stylez: …Wai..wuh, wuh..Wait HOLD UP…So LiKe, we’re for real doin this?...
!!!!VeRy WeLL!!!!
…As YoU WiSH Mi AmOR!!!
Beeb, I’m actually kinda insulted, we went through literally all of that and you still can’t see what was all but smacking you in the face then! From the moment we woke up in vegas as hungover as we were then joined in what the state still for some odd reason refers to as a
???HoLy MaTRiMoNy???
…Yeah Yeah WHAT THE PHUCK EVER!!!
Did you ever want for a single thing?...attention, nope…$$$...NoPe…CoinCiDeNce…maybe let’s keep cruising!...FOrmely Locked doors, busted the fuck down that even came with the reddest carpet you’ve seen since chris styles hotel room! …please tell me we are starting to sense a pattern, because only
!!!!FooLZ DO THaT KiNnA shit!!!!
…And Blair I Know You to be a Great number of things but a fool isn’t among them…or at least I really truly f’n hope so!!!
Ohhh and that shit not withstanding,and may i please also point out i have been once again utterly phucking gentlemanly by not pointing out it wasn’t me who picked that scuffle that proved to be our proverbial straw that broke the camels back. And well you once again made the worst choice by making the wrong pick and choosing to pick a fight with me, that i know that you know good and got damn well you never…ever pick with la johnny stylez! NEVER
!!!!!NO matter who you are!!!!!
…ASK YoU HoW YOU KNOW?
Blair: “oh my god…”
LA JOHNNY STYLEZ: look was i perfect, no but give me some got damn credit i didn’t miss the mark by much, whatever else you wanted maybe i didnt have to give, and if this dildo you are about to marry has it, then ask him to write me one day and tell me what the secret is…wait nah thats probably a terrible idea! But I tried, i tried i promise i tried! But you weren’t phucking having it, and well at that point who am i to deprive you of the trainwreck your blood was lusting for,for reasons unknown to especially you! And well this also, if you come to johnny stylez in the market for a fucking trainwreck yo your boy will
~$~ 100 HooK YOU THE F UP ~$~
ANYTIME…NAH EVERYTIME!!!
I’d apologize if I actually believed you’d believe me. But believe it or not that was not at all the outcome i intended and that time i didn’t enjoy not a single moment of it, and i really wish you hadn’t pushed us there…again, because that shit sucked idk about
!!!!!INF’NFINITY MILLION TIMES WORSE!!!!
…THAN A GOT DAMN POST IT NOTE..A INFINITY MILLION FUCKING POST-IT’S
…ASK ME HOW I KNOW!
Johnny was of course referring to the first of 30 or so breakups, back when the two of them were set to hit the road right after high schlll and start their life together. Johnny had just been signed to his first wrestling promotion. The way they were meant to leave town, Johnny woke up and Blair was nowhere to be found. Instead, in her place was a baby pink post-it note which read: “I’m sorry, I can’t, don’t hate me.” That was it. Turns out Blair had received an opportunity of her own. So she fled like a fugitive in the night to hop on the first bus out of New Orleans to New York City where she would be signed to the famed Wilhelmina modeling agency. This setting them on their individual paths. It would be four years without so much as a post card before they saw each other again, after Blair turns up to new edge wrestling and the world was introduced to the Blair and Johnny saga.
…ASK ME HOW I KNOW!
Cause blair this is what i am. I am the new world heavyweight champion…and it means im the best, and that is exactly the reason i have gotten out of bed every got damn day! So if you can bring yourself, maybe even see what you can do about maybe invoking the power of the holy spirit to bring yourself to believe me when i tell you, i know i probably did love you cause yo for real i own a phucking porn company, and i can probably honestly say i probably only banged on..i mean none…well maybe one but for a fuckin guy who owns HIS OWN PORN COMPANY, one is still practically zero?...I dont know ive never been great at math! But i tell you this in all seriousness, once upon a got damn time, i thought we woulda found our way to possibly smuggle ourselves into something resembling a happily ever after…but then again, that was once upon a time! THat and like you always wind up being like soooooooooooo jealous of me, right?....HAHAHAHAHA
Blair clearly isn’t into it, and eventhough johnny doesn’t seem to be in the proper mindset to grasp the gravity of the situation…no worries ms. buchanan has dealt with this sort of rubbish before…all it takes to bring it to an absolute screeching halt is one swift, precise, and alphuckingbiet perfectly F’n placed elbow into a certain part of his arm sending it into immediate f’n naptime. Johnny clutches his arm laughing and what appears to be crying maybe…it doesnt look comfortable whatever the phuck it is! But once johnz is able to regain some gravity and what remained of his composure, he looks at her almost softly and faintly says…
LA Johnny Stylez: …so we good mama? And also don’t do that shit again don’t think i wont phuck your shit up right out here in the public and everything wedding day or no cinderella!!!
Blair briefly pauses, if you were careful enough to notice you would have caught the quickest of the most wickedest of grins that shot across what shortly thereafter became a real life lady got damn gaga
~!$!~ POKER FACE ~!$!~
…Puh, PuH….PHUCK NO WE AINT ABOUT TO SING THAT REALLY NOT GAY…GAY SONG(there i can say it if i say it like that right?...it’s so hard to tell these days…ohh well i tried)!!!
But we totally digressed…the wicked grin was for what she is finna do right now…watch like a fuckinnnnn pro!...PRO!
Blair buchanan: wait i’m sorry johnny, you said don’t do what?...this?
!!!!!BAM!!!!!!
…THIS F’N BITCH HERE PERFECTLY RAMZ HER BONY ASS POINTY ELBOW INTO THE SAME SPOT MAKING HIS ARM GO INTO WHAT FEELS LIKE A UH ARM COMA?
Johnny grits his teeth as he is visibily feeling that one, and what makes it hurt worse is he really shoulda seen this bullshit coming…but its her, and well…phuck yall its like really too got damn complicated!...so he replies as eloquently as always…
La johnny stylez: FOR PHUCKS SAKES IF YOU’RE HERE WHO IN THE PHUCKIN PHUCK IS RUNNING HELL…WHAT THE PHUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU???..I MEAN LIKE ooowwwww, you know what Daniel can have you! I’ll have no more of this madness! But please tell him thank you….way way before you you then give him my heartfelt condolences! Because you don’t hit people in their arms like your some kinda got damn maniac!! Good luck dustin! Mazel Tov !
Blair Buchannan: “ Derek.. and..I mean, Johnny…come on…what were you expecting? Did we or did we, and by we I mean you, have me committed to a mental institution? Because surely you wouldn’t do that to someone who had their wits about them, riiiight?....It’s fine. I’m over it. ”
LA Johnny Stylez: Well I’m glad one of ….Wait, no no nooooo mam we aren't gonna go down that street…i’ll not succumb to anymore of your delivery! But please let me just say…well before that please believe me when I tell you I have been sitting here pretty much the whole time trying to find anot “assholey” way to say this but in my defense…by the time it came to the mental magoo at that point I divorced you and was kinda then married to the notion that well
!!!!!we didnt need dr. phill to tell us!!!!
…it prollllllllly wasnt gunna work out!!!
…and like i said you know what lines not to cross and if the only reason you didnt go for the hall of fame and cross everyone was because i had to stop you before you did…cause there are somethings my dear that you simply cannot undo! Is it me or does it kinda feel…
???idk???
KiNdA GoNe WiTH the WiNDy up in here???
I’m sorry ms. o’hara you were saying?
Blair raises a brow at that last statement and looks down at her dress, smoothing it out a little and being mindful not to step on the train or anything before muttering under her breath.
Blair Buchannan: “ I mean I’m wearing custom Vera Wang couture and not some drapes but other than that sure. Totally Gone With The Wind Vibes…”
There was that silence again. It was a lot of information thrown at somebody at once. Normally, she would have gone straight to objecting and injecting her point. But she realized this was an opportunity to exercise her newfound compassion for others. So she thought before speaking. Truly really let Johnny’s words marinate. She weighed both sides of his argument…was calm, and collected. So that way, when she finally did speak, it would come from a place of love and not spite.
Blair Buchannan: “ Look….I can see in your own Johnny way how some of that might make sense and I definitely don’t want to invalidate your experience…but..Johnny…come on…”
She stops walking, reaching up to grab his shoulder so that he’s facing her head on. So she can look up into his blue eyes and really get a sense for his mental state.
Blair Buchannan: “ “You can’t honestly believe that you…tried, right? I mean yeah of course the gifts and trinkets and diamonds and the mansion, that was all great. But be so for real, babe. Saying that you tried was you kinda just not even doing the bare minimum as a husband, and that, isn’t trying. It’s literally the opposite of trying…and I’m not going to stand here in front of you and claim that I was miserable the entire time, though I was miserable a lot of the time toward the end especially but…like there’s no way you can pin the bulk of this on me while excusing yourself from any real culpability. Tell me you don’t believe that.”
Blair’s eyes went from narrow, and concerned to wide and almost horrified.
“Oh my ..you do, don’t you?”
She was silent for a moment, muttering the word ‘Jesus’ under her breath while looking like she was strategically figuring out how to navigate her next choice of words. Apparently, she opted for the direct approach.
“….being married to LA Johnny Stylez, Owner of OPW was…extremely lonely. You were never home..like ever. If you weren’t scheming at OUTLAWZ, you were off in some Muppets Take Manhattan style adventure with any one of the Seven Dwarves you kept around. I mean come on Johnny… when my MOTHER D-...”
she suddenly became very aware of the volume of her voice and brought it down to a whisper.
“when my mother died, I couldn’t even get a hold of you! I had to call Brandon fucking Moore to help. How fucked up is that?! Do you have any idea how awful it was to not only go through that, but then the one person who I’m supposed to be able to depend on isn’t even picking up my calls?!”
Just as if she was about to feel her temper becoming slightly more heightened, it’s like somebody pressed the factory reset button on her and just like that she was back at a baseline Blair, speaking normally and even somewhat chipper…which was weird.
“Not to mention, Jonathan, the topic of infidelity. Like you said before, I’m not a fool so please do me the favor of not treating me like one. The amount of time you spent on your little missions doing God knows what…Let’s just say that was not conducive to a healthy sex life…and unlike your employees, I have a pretty good handle on the ins and outs of my vagina and towards the end you werent going in or out with any sort of regularity.
and then when you factor in the rumors which, based on who you ended up with IMMEDIATELY after I was carted away, turned out to be extremely true…everything started to make more sense. I was already aware that in the grand scheme of things I would always come second to the world title. But I wasn’t prepared for how big of a priority OPW would become, and how little a priority that made me. Or at least that’s how I felt. Not to mention the many, many times you allowed outside influences to disrespect our marriage. I don’t think I need to get into specifics because you have to know what I’m talking about. If you don’t, that’s an entirely different, and much bigger issue altogether.
While you may not have been the sole cause of our marriage falling apart, I didn’t feel like you were all that invested in keeping it together. So please…spare me. and for the love of GOD please, enough already with the POST-IT story. You cannot compare our marriage to a seventeen year old breaking up with you on a post-it note, alright? At least I left a note ok? That’s more than any other guy before or after you got. Let’s cut a lady some slack.”
Blair sighs and fixes her hair, recentering herself.
“Look…at the end of the day, he-said-she said it doesn't matter. Clearly we were both unhappy and, while the methods were less than conventional, ultimately the right decision was made. I do believe you loved me, I really do. and I hope that you know, for the majority of my time here on earth, you were the only man I was ever truly head over heels madly in love with. But…you know…sometimes that’s not enough. But please, don’t blame me for being resentful that I always came second and ultimately last place. I was equipped to deal with that from anyone, anyone else at all, but not from you.. So if you’re going to force me to be honest about my role in what happened then you have to be honest about yours too. I’m not just making things up here. It was supposed to be my happily ever after too, you know.”
Theres another brief silence and then she speaks up, trying to change the subject.
“For the record, I’m really proud of you. I know you meant it as a joke but that Women’s Shelter you and Jesse opened is going to end up helping a lot of people..So regardless, I commend you for that. And I meant what I said last Ignite out there in the ring. So, let’s just agree to disagree. I don’t want to go backwards again.”
LA Johnny Stylez: Clearly it would do no one any good, especially your boy dustin! But yeah it was what it was, which is why it now is what it is…so yeah, you’re happy, I’m THE ABSOLUTE BEST…all things considered i’d say we both made it out alive! And blair look im not nor was i trying to put all that blame on you…but yeah i know we said we aren’t gunna talk about it, and we won’t…But if you ever do, like really…say the words tell me about new orleans…and ill know its ok to tell you things one should never tell a female before their wedding day…don’t matter if it’s their first or 75th, so don’t worry you’re good! So now that everyone has gotten all nice and comfy in this particular wing of the friendzone, i am going to have to ask that you understand i can’t go to your wedding…i just can’t…so i won’t, but you’ll be fine…i promise it may be the one time in your whole life where you don’t miss me! But i am happy for you and congrats…and well i can’t go into it too much but i’m like so very close to closing a deal that is going to see me headed into your domain of the mundane reality tv world, and if a lil while down the road you’re up for it, Id like for you to maybe be apart of it, but I guess we should do it as quickly as possible before you get sent off to the Lethal Kool-Aid Convent or whatever nice name they call it instead
Blair just rolls her eyes and smiles, choosing to focus on the first part of his statement, rather than the latter.
Blair Buchannan: “Tell me about New Orleans…got it. Thank you Johnny…really…and don’t worry. Though you will be missed, immensely, I understand you not being able to come. I think it would be weird if you did, honestly. Imagine, I asked you to walk me down the aisle and give me away?! That’s beyond sick, even for New Edge….Ohhhh noooo but that means you’re going to miss seeing Adriana Giovanni! Can you believe she’s coming, speaking of crazy, reality tv? You? I mean I think it’s going to be a smash hit, stone groove, wonder! I just remember it was like pulling teeth to even get you to be in the background when I would film. Please, as if you even have to ASK. You know I never met a camera I didn’t want to marry.”
She says playfully, and acts like she’s about to elbow Johnny in the arm again but he holds up a hand from his good arm and solemnly shakes his head.
Johnny Stylez: “Please. Try to be an adult. Think of Vera”
he says, motioning to her gown.
She sighs, her gaze becoming distant as she stares off into the direction of the bridal shoppe. What she was a pro at, at this point in her life, was falling into dissociation at the drop of a hat. Then, just like that, Blair shakes off whatever intrusive thoughts are performing their three ring circus act in her mind and comes back to reality.
Blair Buchannan: “ Oh my God I totally forgot that I ran out on my fitting…Valerie and the bridal consultants are probably sending out a search party as we speak….ohhhh but but all of the performatiiiive gushinnnnng and ooohiiiiiing and ahhhhinnng from those vultures in Donna Karan pant suits circling for their commission…it was getting to be a little much…but anyway! How does it feel to be home, Champ? They roll out the purple carpet and give you the Heroes Welcome? Or are they saving that for the after party?”
LA Johnny Stylez: “ Well you know me B, being the CHAMP is what I live for! I've loved every last moment of it! I'm feelin really good about this run with NEW too. Jesse seems to have his head screwed on better this time around. But as for the heroes welcome, I mean nothing outside of the normal screaming fans when we got off the plane...But the real party is gunna be in New Orleans in a few days, I'm reopening OUTLAWZ on Bourbon and if there was ever gunna be a need for a red carpet it will be there, you should see it Beebz, I built it back bigger and better than last time! Not to mention I negotiated a truce between me and the other club owners...I now practically own the adult entertainment industry in the Big Easy..Well at least the straight side anyway, DaNDyLioN told me to give you his best if I saw ya...So there mission complete I suppose.. ”
Blair Buchannan: “ Oh, man, Outlawz….I forgot all about that place!...You and your sketchy little back room deals. I swear, every time I stepped foot in that joint I felt like Michelle Pfifer in Scarface…good times..That all sounds wonderful, Johnny. I’m proud of you. Honestly. Maybe you’ll send me an invite…I mean, you know what they say…Blair Buchannan will attend the opening of an envelope and she never misses a red carpet. Besides, we aren’t pretending to be friends…speaking of friends, did you say you were partnering with Dandylion? ”
She’s quiet for a moment, and then raises her eyebrows. She looks genuinely surprised but impressed, as made evident by the approving nod she offers.
Blair Buchannan: “...well I’m happy that you seem to be surrounding yourself with at least one person who has their head on straight…no pun intended.Aw...well be sure to tell her hayyyyy for me. But you have to say it just like that. See?! Now you have to invite me. 'less you'd rather spend the better part of this lifetime trying to live down the time you, LA Johnny Stylez, passed on bringing THEE Blair Buchannan back to Bourbon Street...and you know how he likes to hold grudges. I can just hear him now. The scandal! Soooo, what do you think? ”
LA Johnny Stylez: “I think you are every single...PHUCKING bit of trouble you have ever been made out to be...Well played, MaDaM BuCHaNaN Well PLAYED.”
There’s a brief pause. Blair kind of stands there, with her pageant girl smile which, of course, Johnny of all people can see right through–and Blair knows this. Johnny just stares back at her as if to say ‘you gonna spit it out?’ So she drops the facade and groans, running her hands through her long auburn hair to get it out of her face.
Blair Buchannan: “ Oh I dunno Johnny…what am I doing? Am I a completely ridiculous person to think that I can just go on some apology tour and erase my past…and ride off into the sunset with some nepo baby billionaire? Why not? Like seriously, why shouldn’t I get a happy ending? Or have I done too many terrible things to the point where all my good karma is in an eternal deficit? …am I supposed to just spend the rest of my life paying for what I’ve done? ”
LA Johnny Stylez: “ Well B Ima be real with ya...You have done some things that normal people would find hard to forgive...But we are talkin about WRESTLING FANZ MaMa...There aint a more fickle lot on this got damn planet! You heard em when you came out to face me...They want to love you already, so don't sweat that shit...Now happy ending? Well I guess to answer that BeeBZ, I suppose you need to ask yourself IF YOU THINK YOU DESERVE IT, because the only person that has kept you from it up until this point, is you My SeXy LiL EXey! And I'm not saying that being an ass, I'm saying that because its the truth B. DO you deserve to be happy? Hell yeah you do, but you gotta know what that means before you go chasing after it…”
She didn’t necessarily have ‘getting rather poignant and extremely spot on advice’ for her pending nuptials from her ex husband on her January 2024 bingo card, but that’s exactly what Blair got. The wave of honesty and sudden burst of clarity washed over her like a typhoon. So much so that the woman needed to ground herself somewhere that was stationary, otherwise the dizzying reality check threatened to knock her clear out of those size seven Chanel stilettos. So she leans against a mausoleum and blows a gust of air out through her lightly glossed lips, making them trill in the process.
Blair Buchannan: “ …well, you know what Mama had to say about that. ‘Happiness is for poor people.’...and she was not about to let that be an option for either of us. Honestly, I don’t ever think I stopped to question whether I deserved happiness or not. I think I spent so much time focusing on becoming rich and famous by any means necessary, that happiness…real happiness, not the kind that comes with shoe shopping or getting the call that you’ve been approved for the new Birkin bag…it just never was a factor in my decision making. That’s kinda fucked up huh?”
LA Johnny Stylez: Well yes blair, pretty much like literally everything that fell out of your mother’s knob polisher, if it wasn’t completely bat shit crazy, it was and probably still is
!!!!FLAT OUT WRONG!!!!!
Cause despite what many say YOU CAN indeed PURCHASE happiness!
And clearly your mother didn’t know very many poor people, because they spend so much time chasing all them nickels, dimes, and quarters, cause they know if money don’t buy happiness then at the very least it makes it a great deal easier to locate the shit! And well…that question you just asked me is precisely why i suggested you stop and ask yourself these things, because i’m sure there is some deity somewhere that believes everyone deserves happiness…even you! But sometimes, or in my case every time you gotta fight for it, and you are a fighter b, always have been! But yeah your mom sucked! And she wasn’t fit to assist anyone while they are ordering mcdonalds through a got damn drive through window much less actually be someone’s parent…and despite even that face you some how survived her, and as long as you keep playing your cards right you will be able to not just NOT make the same mistakes she did, but be able to rise above them, while also perhaps even preventing others from doin the same. THe people really do love you blair, and you don’t have to hide the fact that a big part of you enjoys it. I mean gross…but ultimately i get it! But look girly, it was good catching up, and i really am happy for you! But i gotta get goin, me and the fellaz are finna go terrorize bourbon street tonight! Should be…well, i’m sure you’ll see on the news! But take care of yourself blair! And please, make sure this is your last white dress wedding, cause well the only way to do better baby girl is to do better k? I’ll see ya next time i do, huh? And tell donald under no circumstance will i ever give him an autograph, unless he wants to pay $75 and wait in line like the other phuckin nerds at the comic cons and what not! K luvyaKbye! Be cool baby girl!
Johnny promptly made his exit, while Blair decides to linger for a moment. As Blair emerged from the tranquil solitude of the cemetery nestled within the French Quarter the evening cast a somber hue over the cobblestone streets. The scent of magnolias lingered in the air, a poignant reminder of the city's storied past and the souls that found their eternal rest amidst the moss-draped oaks.
With each step, memories danced like shadows in the fading light. The whispers of loved ones gone but never forgotten echoed through the centuries, their presence a silent tribute to the enduring power of love and remembrance.
As Blair made her way back to the bustling heart of the French Quarter, the bridal boutique beckoned like a beacon of light amidst the gathering darkness. The soft glow of lamplight spilled onto the sidewalk, casting a warm embrace around the storefront adorned with lace and satin. Pushing open the door, Blair stepped into the welcoming embrace of the boutique, the scent of freshly cut flowers mingling with the subtle perfume of uncertainty.